| prefer not to say...WTF???
Posted: 3/7/2006 11:17:15 PM | I have to think, and probably going by what I answer in situations such as this, we use "prefer not to answer", when the REAL answer is not attractive...for instance if the real answer to "body type" is FAT, then it is better to leave the response open than to admit to FAT, which would put another person off straight away. Oh, by the way, I am not fat, if any of you guys read my unfinished profile.
As to kids, I do not think that PNTA is a suitable response, this is a Yes/ No question, not a possibly but not able to state in reality what the truth is question | |
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| prefer not to say...WTF???
Posted: 3/8/2006 4:10:11 AM |
Prefer not to say = Yes.
Not necessarily. What about a woman whose child has died? Or been stolen by a non-custodial parent? To say, "No" would be to deny the child that she gave birth to; to say, "Yes" would perhaps rule out some perfectly nice men who just don't happen to want a woman with children. "Prefer not to say" would be a polite way of saying, "It's none of your business, and I'm not going to discuss such a painful situation with a stranger." | |
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| prefer not to say...WTF???
Posted: 3/8/2006 3:25:49 PM | Not necessarily. What about a woman whose child has died? Or been stolen by a non-custodial parent? To say, "No" would be to deny the child that she gave birth to; to say, "Yes" would perhaps rule out some perfectly nice men who just don't happen to want a woman with children. "Prefer not to say" would be a polite way of saying, "It's none of your business, and I'm not going to discuss such a painful situation with a stranger."
Again... it is still a yes or no question. Not wanting to talk about a painful situation is one's choice, but it doesn't change whether someone has children or not. If a child has passed on and there are no others, the answer to Do you have children? is No. If the child has been abducted and it is known that they are still alive, then the answer is Yes.
And I mean let's face it... your scenario with a child that has been abducted by a non-custodial parent. If she's more worried about seeming attractive to a man who doesn't want a woman with children than she is about getting her children back... well, I can't speak for everybody, but I certainly wouldn't want someone like that.
I just don't see any real good justifications for PNTS in regards to one's children. I just don't get how people think the internet is so much more dangerous of a place than the outside world. Isn't the only way people on the internet can hurt you is by coming into contact with you in the outside world? If people are so scared of the consequences of using the internet, why are they still using it? If you've got something to hide, why are you coming here creating a public profile? | |
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| prefer not to say...WTF???
Posted: 3/8/2006 3:38:25 PM | ^^^^^ For the ones you see using the internet and use pnts as a response to anything to do with children.....accept it
The guy above me, you really want the following answered?
If people are so scared of the consequences of using the internet, why are they still using it? If you've got something to hide, why are you coming here creating a public profile? " | |
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| prefer not to say...WTF???
Posted: 3/8/2006 10:17:03 PM | | I am proud to be a Mom and anyone that knows me knows it.But to post your young children on an internet site for the whole world to see and you not know who or why they are looking,SCAREY! Fortunately I have 3 sons that are big,strong,and able to not only take care of themselves but mom too! | |
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cxs33
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Joined: 11/16/2005
Msg: 58 | |
| prefer not to say...WTF???
Posted: 3/9/2006 7:17:07 AM | I "prefer not the say" anything about this topic...
That'll get the women flocking to me; I'm sure. LOL
CXS33  | |
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wowmom
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Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 59 | |
| prefer not to say...WTF???
Posted: 3/9/2006 7:15:51 PM | I put prefer not to say in the body type section. I didn't feel that any of the choices offered would describe my body type. I don't see anything wrong with my decision here...I provided pictures that show my body type, so I am not failing to disclose anything.  | |
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| prefer not to say...WTF???
Posted: 3/9/2006 7:20:00 PM | | everything is not so black n white as yes or no. Sometimes its a bit of each or neither or just none of your business. If your curious just ask. Rather than complain, if ya don't like them, then don't talk to em. Complaining isn't going to make them stop doing it. | |
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| prefer not to say...WTF???
Posted: 3/9/2006 9:15:37 PM | | Well if somebody uses "Prefer not to say" than I basically see that of an acknowledgement that they do have for instance children.. And "Undecided/open" i consider undecided/open for real while others choose to tend to NO on that. :D | |
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| prefer not to say...WTF???
Posted: 3/11/2006 6:06:53 AM |
"Prefer not to say" is NOT deceitful - I'd say 9 times out of 10 it just means "that's not an easy one for me to answer".
Marital status is not an easy one for you to answer?This allows you to quote a previous post.
This is a question that bothers me- I was married less than five years, and have been divorced for 15. Why do I have to keep announcing that I am "divorced"? At what point can I revert back to calling myself "single"? Is there a time when it becomes politically correct? Thanks! | |
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| prefer not to say...WTF???
Posted: 3/11/2006 6:40:05 AM | "Prefer not to say" is NOT deceitful - I'd say 9 times out of 10 it just means "that's not an easy one for me to answer".
I concur..given my circumstances and the fact that when registering here you are only given so many options....it was a difficult question and you are trying to be as honest as you can..so i felt that by answering that way it would give me the opportunity to explain it to the person i am chatting with rather than committ myself to an answer that was not entirely true...
To the author of this thread: your contact list must be very short with your negative and pre-judgmental attitude!! | |
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| prefer not to say...WTF???
Posted: 3/11/2006 9:30:49 AM | I tend to agree, they need a bit more of an option list
ALMOSTME - - To me being divorced IS single. Your getting a fresh start and starting over. I say your single if you say you are single and if some internet stranger doesn't agree, then tough cookies. lol | |
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| prefer not to say...WTF???
Posted: 3/11/2006 10:37:17 AM | | To me, single would indicate never married, and divorced indicates divorced. It's better to know if someone is divorced or widowed, especially if they have children. I am uncomfortable dating a divorced dad, but a widowed dad is a different story. | |
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| prefer not to say...WTF???
Posted: 3/11/2006 10:42:41 AM | | why would a divorced dad be a bad thing? And please don't make some sexist assumption. lol | |
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| prefer not to say...WTF???
Posted: 3/11/2006 9:27:33 PM | "prefer not to say"
...the only one I take issue with is the kids.
If you're looking for a relationship...part of you is the kids...you've made them and they've helped to sculpt you....not to mention, they will eventually be a part of any long term relationship.
I have no issues at all with someone having kids. Having said that, to meet and eventually find that out. Well, it's just wrong in my books.
Oops, gotta go  | |
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| prefer not to say...WTF???
Posted: 3/11/2006 11:59:16 PM | I agree with the other posters -- "prefer not to say" is not deceitful at all. While on a site like this, you can almost certainly guess the real response, it's easier to simply recognize that the person isn't comfortable disclosing whatever it is to the planet.
Deceit is when someone answers something with a response that's different than the truth, such as putting "single" when actually married and the like. | |
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| prefer not to say...WTF???
Posted: 3/12/2006 12:03:41 AM |
I am uncomfortable dating a divorced dad, but a widowed dad is a different story.
Wouldn't the reason he's a widower be of concern to you? After all, Scott Peterson is technically a "widowed dad"... would you date him? | |
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| prefer not to say...WTF???
Posted: 3/12/2006 7:02:06 AM | Banghae,
I know what your saying about this topic, however when we yes we put prefer not to say as to having children,,it may for some pepople mean what your speculating, as for myself it means my children (if any) are not put out there, just in case something goes a miss on here,,so if it's smoking, drugs, married or seperated, yeh then okay, however kids,,notta get to know me, and me u, then we'll discuss kids, income levels, where I work etc...Just another way of looking at things,,otherwise I full am in full agreement with you on the prefer not to say garbage.
Take care | |
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| prefer not to say...WTF???
Posted: 3/12/2006 8:10:20 AM | | perhaps they just didnt complete their profiles, perhaps with all the freaks on the internet these days they dont want to reveal if they have children or not, perhaps they do it to get rid of undesirables by saying 'oh sorry i'm actually married'. who cares what their reasons are | |
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| prefer not to say...WTF???
Posted: 3/18/2006 8:10:41 AM | i prefer not to say becuz..unless i am noted /noting someone.....only the person interested in actually talking with me gets the info...if they ask....i think people make judgements with someof those questions....(i know thats what they are supposed to do)
I personally would prefer sopmeon to make a judgement from my about me...rather than some standard questions | |
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