Garf
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Joined: 4/4/2005
Msg: 76 | |
| prefer not to say...WTF???
Posted: 3/18/2006 8:13:39 AM | Ok, but if you prefer not to say, then there are lot of guys who could quite possibly be your dream match, that will just skip to the next profile, because prefer not to say generally means Yes.
Also, if you're a non-smoker, and you put PNTS in the slot, then people who are screening smokers will screen you as well. That narrows your dating margin even more.
It's shooting yourself in the foot, plain and simple. | |
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| prefer not to say...WTF???
Posted: 3/18/2006 12:16:29 PM | | ^^^would everybody please stop saying the same things over and over? This and other explanations are and have already been explained. | |
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Garf
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Joined: 4/4/2005
Msg: 78 | |
| prefer not to say...WTF???
Posted: 3/18/2006 12:36:17 PM |
Block users from contacting you if they are married, do drugs or smoke.
¦ Block Married People / ¦ Drugs / ¦ Smoke
(Blocks prefer not to say, married or living together)
This is directly from Mail Settings, in your profile.
If half of the people here are non-smokers, and you have PNTS in your profile under "Do you smoke"...and half of them have Smokers blocked, then you've just separated yourself from half the people.
If half of those people see PNTS, under "Do you smoke" and assume it means Yes, then you're now down to 25% of possible matches.
Half of those people are only looking at your pic. Down to 12%
Half of those live too far away. Down to 6%
Half of those think you have something to hide. Down to 3%
Out of a possible thousand or so people who may actually have been a decent match for you...if you put PNTS on more than just smoking; you're down to the bag-boy at your local Wal-Mart who lied about his age so he could bag a cougar.
Happy hunting.  | |
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| prefer not to say...WTF???
Posted: 11/25/2007 5:58:01 AM | This is about the funniest thread I have seen yet. I am one of the biggest privacy advocates there is, so YES I respect a persons privacy about these issues. However, this is a place that puts you in a spotlight. When its election time do you say to yourself "do not judge people so any candidate is fine"? This is a place where you will be scrutinized, and judged. Don't like it? Tough, thats exactly what this site is for.
That being said, I can and will judge you by what you say. Anything unanswered will be assumed to be the worst. I am not getting any younger and am not wasting my time with guessing games or any games for that matter.
SO, you have your face pic on a public site, but no one knows your address. If they were neighbors and recognized you, they would already know if you had kids. They probably would know if you smoke. Whats the big deal telling a stranger if you have kids or not......do you keep them chained up in the closet? Do you take them out in public and show every stranger walking by that they exist ?
If you have prefer not to say in either kids question, I will move on. Just as you have a right to privacy, I have a right to assume the worst. No problem, we are both happy, and never met each other. :p
If you put prefer not to say in any other category than kids....I cannot think of any excuse. Body type? If you prefer not to say then I prefer not to see it either. Drugs? hmm go to rehab, check the no box, and maybe I will talk to you.
If you prefer to keep everything a secret until I have half a year invested in you, I prefer to keep on fishing !! | |
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| prefer not to say...WTF???
Posted: 11/25/2007 8:14:08 AM | I placed "prefer not to say" under the smoking category, however I posted in the second line of my profile that I chose prefer not to say due to me being in the process of quitting smoking.
Since there is no option for "trying to quit", I can not honestly say NO I do not smoke, or YES I do smoke.
Right now I am 3 weeks into quitting, yet i do have the odd cigarette or two now and then, but I do not smoke on a regular basis as I did in the past.
I think it would be more dishonest to put No under this category, rather than saying prefer not to say. | |
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| prefer not to say...WTF???
Posted: 11/25/2007 11:46:00 AM | | Same here.........I say prefer not to say in my smoking answer because I went three months without smoking, thought I had it made and then started smoking again. Forgot to change the smoker category and a guy got upset and thought I was lying. And I could see his point but I didn't want to keep changing the smoker question back and forth so until I'm SURE that I have succeeded in quitting, I will put prefer not to say and then when I am emailing or talking to someone, hopefully I will still not be smoking but at least I know I will be honest .......... | |
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| prefer not to say...WTF???
Posted: 11/25/2007 9:28:46 PM | Actually what I have personally observed is that the most commonly used "Prefer Not to Say" entries have been under "body Type". I see that as deception and don't see it has anything at all to do with protecting children from preditors. At the same time I understand using it in the "have or don't have children" area for the protection of children. I have also observed thant many (men and women) have the idea that "a few extra pounds" is anything under 400 lbs. LMAO!!! I suppose it is all about perception.  | |
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| prefer not to say...WTF???
Posted: 11/25/2007 10:20:52 PM | | I think it defaults to "prefer not to say" until you actually go in and change the answer. :-) | |
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| prefer not to say...WTF???
Posted: 11/13/2008 2:20:54 AM |
It's nice to see that some people show you that they are deceitful right away...
I agree with this wholeheartedly. Whenever I see a profile with 'prefer not to say' I'll skip it because my gut instinct says 'read between the lines' the person might be hiding something. The questions are easy to answer so a simple 'yes' or 'no' should suffice. It's like a woman saying that she is a 'little pregnant' - UTTER BULLOCKS! Either you are or you're not. You're a smoker or not. You have children or you don't.
Generally, if you read on in the individual's profile, there tends to be other signs as to the person's mentality pertaining to telling the truth. Individuals intent on deceit usually fall into certain patterns of behaviour or self-expression. The skill is being able to detect it and analyse it for exactly what it is - 'cloak and dagger behaviour.'
This is when it is *HIGHLY* advisable to use the delete button when you receive an email from such an individual. The reason for this decision is the following: if that person did NOT volunteer the information under their own volition, what makes you think they will when questioned? Answer - THEY WILL NOT. THEY WILL LIE . How does the saying go for suckers? Ah yes! " There's one born every minute."
DON'T BE A SUCKER! See the bullshaaz for what it is and don't waste time. Move on to the next profile. NEEEEEEXT!!!! | |
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| prefer not to say...WTF???
Posted: 11/13/2008 10:30:26 AM | Or OP.... the person could have easily missed that drop down as a great deal of people do. Or prehaps will come back to complete their profile later. Or maybe want one to ask them about the things they answered "prefer not to say".
Reading too much into the statement "prefer not to say" maybe. I have helped design a few sites and sometimes when the drop downs are made there is limited space, or one just didn't think of the best statement options.
I would think if I saw something like: Has children.. "Prefer Not to say" I would just ask the person why they choose that answer before I made any judgment that they were being "decietful". I am notorioius for missing drop downs and other little functions when completing forms. | |
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| prefer not to say...WTF???
Posted: 11/13/2008 6:01:08 PM | Mmmm....I am pretty sure he wasn't whining like a child at all. He was just illustrating the obvious facts: They ARE yes and no questions and anyone that puts prefer not to say means yes. That is a fact. Every time you put prefer not to say it means yes. So therefore if you put that down to protect your children, you aren't doing a very good job now are you?
And just to nit pick, truly is spelled TRULY not truely. Your spell check probably put a little line under it when you typed it incorrectly. I find it hard to take illiterates seriously. | |
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| prefer not to say...WTF???
Posted: 11/13/2008 6:10:34 PM | | Sorry I have to jump in again. Predator is spelled PREDATOR! Not preditor. Again the little spelled wrong indicator comes on. References, the National Hockey League's Nashville Predators and Arnold Schwarzenegger's The Terminator. And please don't chime in about what you think my disposition is. I will save you the time, I AM BORED! I feel if you want to be taken seriously at all, know how to spell. You know those three little words, there, their and they're. Let's start with that simple lesson. | |
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| prefer not to say...WTF???
Posted: 11/13/2008 9:16:29 PM |
Actually what I have personally observed is that the most commonly used "Prefer Not to Say" entries have been under "body Type". I see that as deception and don't see it has anything at all to do with protecting children from preditors. At the same time I understand using it in the "have or don't have children" area for the protection of children. I have also observed thant many (men and women) have the idea that "a few extra pounds" is anything under 400 lbs. LMAO!!! I suppose it is all about perception.
I've seen plenty of good looking, slender or athletic women who had "Prefer Not to Say" in their profile. I always figured they either a) didn't want me using the search to find them based solely on their body type (were trying to cut back on the crap messages) or b) missed something when filling in their profile. | |
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| prefer not to say...WTF???
Posted: 11/14/2008 12:21:42 AM | My only input is this:
A good number of the questions pertaining to interests and lifestyle on POF do not provide what I would consider to be definitive enough to provide an accurate response.
Just a few examples - Under hair colour, I change my hair colour about every 3 months or so, so I'm continuously updating that through my "About Me" section. I have two children, 15 and 8 (9 in three days), they live 1,000 miles away from me( (not my choice), but the "children" section of the questionaire is too vague.
I always try to answer everything as honestly as possible, without going into a diatribe of every nuance of my everyday life.
I can also see why some people would not prefer to list their profession, as. in my opinion, people should be searching for someone based upon similar interests. I could under stand why someone that earns a great deal of income or has a desirable employment, would be hesitant to post that they are a neurosurgeon.
Just my two cents. | |
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| prefer not to say...WTF???
Posted: 11/14/2008 10:25:21 PM | | If the topic someone chose "prefer not say" is important to you, but you like the profile otherwise, shoot them an email and tell them you want to talk, but need to know the answer to that question first. | |
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macar
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Joined: 9/28/2008
Msg: 91 | |
| prefer not to say...WTF???
Posted: 11/15/2008 12:02:37 AM | when it comes to "has children", prefer not to say usually means "YES"
when it comes to "does drugs", prefer not to say usually mean "YES"
when it comes to "wants children", prefer not to say usually means "NO"
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| prefer not to say...WTF???
Posted: 11/15/2008 4:11:37 AM | | As someone who is retardedly honest and I'm sure it's not helping me any on here. I have to say I find it somewhat cute when women put "Prefer not to say" under some catagory because, yes I automatically assume that means, I prefer not to admit I have children or smoke or do drugs, etc. I don't use the search filters beyond a basic age range and female so it's not an issue for me. If anything it just makes me examine their profile more in depth and take a closer look at the pictures if there are any as try to decipher the woman behind the profile more. E#veryone's profile is a personal billboard for themselves and I don't see how anyone else can claim a right to have a quesion answered to their satisfaction by skimming over the advertisement and not bothering to consult the developer. Perhaps try applying some analysis to the profile or barring that, do yourself a favour and move on to the next profile for people who can't be bothered to read beyond the pictures. | |
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| prefer not to say...WTF???
Posted: 11/15/2008 10:00:09 AM | Prefer not to say could mean anything:
do you smoke? well i'm trying to quit so I don't know wether I smoke or not or I may be a secret smoker.
do you do drugs/drink? an aspirin is a drug. perhaps the odd toke of a joint at a party, that doesn't mean you do drugs. perhaps you're anti-social drug taker, drinker.
do you have children? well you do or you don't unless someone is accusing you of being the father of one of which you are not certain. | |
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| prefer not to say...WTF???
Posted: 11/17/2008 6:50:34 PM | | Gray...grey.....however you spell it, life is all about its many shades-everything is not always black and white, hence, the "prefer not to say" option.... | |
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| prefer not to say...WTF???
Posted: 11/17/2008 7:51:38 PM | | After reading some of the posts in this thread; I am compelled to change all of my available options to "prefer not say" - if nothing more than to keep the L.O.I (league of idiots) at bay. | |
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| prefer not to say...WTF???
Posted: 11/17/2008 9:01:20 PM | i always get a kick out of it when people put that cause its so bovious that 'prefer not to say' really is a way for u to still have the answer.it really means yes.lol
if someoen puts in theyre relationship status prefer not to say i dont bother with them cause to me that means this person is in a relationship plain and simple. | |
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| prefer not to say...WTF???
Posted: 11/18/2008 5:02:36 AM | You come across them profiles also but on the female side of the fence!.... some males out there also do 'not want to reveal' their two point six children they have either at home, with ex wife ((or current wife)) and the children they have dotted around the UK and beyond ....totally in denial untill sat right in front of you that is.
With you on the deceitfullness, and the 'why' well i have no idea!, Guess many out there think it gains them something, (is an easy lay with 'some girl/guy classed has gaining something)
Tbh, i have more respect for those who just say from the start than those who are just around to get laid.
Saying that i have many guys online and off ask me 'why you single'?.... need i answer! Has i wasn't whilst ever i had no children!!!....
Sure we should ALL be proud of our children!, they are what we get up in a morning for!, On a daily basis feel like a Ac-Dc scratched LP for, and i never knew multitasking could get any better!!!, Although 3 children has shown me 'oh hell yes it can', and i can today do it to such finists of demands too, nobody else could possibly of taught me all this within a 24hr time period ...so yes alot to be proud of.
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| prefer not to say...WTF???
Posted: 11/18/2008 8:05:10 AM | | That's an interesting point of view. I answered "prefer not to say" to the kids question for a specific reason. My adult social life doesn't include my kids....oh did that slip out? | |
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