| prefer not to say...WTF???
Posted: 1/17/2009 8:17:21 AM | | I think there should be an alternative statement,something like"non of your dam business just yet",what do you think??? | |
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| prefer not to say...WTF???
Posted: 1/17/2009 8:40:48 AM |
I think there should be an alternative statement,something like"non of your dam business just yet",what do you think???
That would work for income, but I dunno about the rest of the things.
I also think that if people don't want to list their professions, they should put something fantastical like "International Jewel Thief." I had a Diet Coke with a guy who had "Legal" as his profession. I ASSUMED (shame on me) that was a lawyer, paralegal, or judge, but it turns out he was a bounty hunter and bailbondsman. He was scary; when he and his wife divorced, the judge asked her what she wanted, and she replied, "I want to wake up tomorrow morning." He TOLD Me this when we met. He should put it on his profile (it was another site, by the way), and most women wouldn't bother to meet him. | |
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| prefer not to say...WTF???
Posted: 2/5/2009 12:01:00 PM | | I usually put "Prefer Not To Say" on do I want kids. I am 30 yrs old not married and no kids, and yea I would like to...eventually...get married and have kids. However, I don't want to put yes, simply because I don't want a man to think or believe that I am 30 and want to get knocked up. I am here to date and meet some fantastic men. The kid issue is something that should come up when going into a serious relationship. | |
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| prefer not to say...WTF???
Posted: 2/5/2009 8:50:55 PM | For me, there are way too many variables to make a judgment call on the 'prefer not to say' option...
except for ones status.... I find it hard to justify a reason why someone would choose the 'prefer not to say' option...tends to take my mind to the obvious and most often correct assertion... | |
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| prefer not to say...WTF???
Posted: 2/6/2009 4:21:00 AM | One of the strangest things you see in profiles that make you go WTF??
Kids = "Prefer not to say"
Then in the About Me you read
I have x children and I love them very much etc…
What were they thinking men cannot read? Are they testing to see if you read the About Me section? | |
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| prefer not to say...WTF???
Posted: 2/6/2009 7:30:32 AM | OMG!!!!! Fricking GRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!
Brace yourself poster, l am one of those "burn your ass" people who has prefer not to say on my kids section. Guess what, omg, l care enough to not put my kids on the net, what a horrible person l am!!!!
Saying NO to having children would be deceitful, saying prefer not to say, means you have to ask me and we will cross that bridge then. I am VERY proud of my children, so proud in fact that l say prefer not to say so that l am not advertizing them for any pervert out there. I got a message from someone like you and you want to talk about getting a burnt a$$? It is ignorance like this that burns MY A$$.
Personally l think the kids section should be optional, that way parents who want to be honest but yet want to protect their children can do so without having the added pressure of putting it right out there for the world to see. But since it is not optional l take the happy medium, l dont advertise them but yet don't lie by saying no.
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| prefer not to say...WTF???
Posted: 2/6/2009 9:36:07 AM | | Any profile with prefer not to say anywere i just move on. Theres obviously an issue there | |
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| prefer not to say...WTF???
Posted: 2/8/2009 9:00:22 AM | If a person indicates this in a profile, it could be safety. Come on... this is the age of internet predators, sexual deviants and such.
I have met men and dated ones that have tried to build a relationship with my chid early on. When it ended, said child was hurt as well. My theory is that a person dates me, not my child. I do not try and hide that I have a child, in order to mislead a man or get something,
to me it is safety, I am proud of my child.... always. But that doesn't mean that I have to flaunt my child to a stranger. PRIVACY is key | |
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| prefer not to say...WTF???
Posted: 2/8/2009 4:57:41 PM | The problem is that "prefer not to say" is too vague. Some women have children that are young, some are moved out or live with the father. This info is privy until you get to meet the person and you ask. Why can't people get that?
As for the drug category, some people may be on medication or maybe they smoke a marijuana joint every New Years Eve. It does'nt mean they are spending their days shooting up heroin. Geesh!
At least by selecting "prefer not to say" you own up to the fact that there are other things about you that you may wish to reveal to a potential date. You know you are going to be asked those questions for having selected "prefer not to say". Real good liars here won't risk it by putting down "prefer not to say". They will just out right lie and say " no" when it comes to having children or "no" when it comes to drugs.
If you can not see this then you are in risk of getting played here miss.
be careful | |
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| prefer not to say...WTF???
Posted: 3/4/2009 2:04:37 PM | | This prefer not to say leads me to think there is something being hidden, or untruthful. | |
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| prefer not to say...WTF???
Posted: 3/5/2009 12:26:50 AM | There is a lot to be said for the choices provided aside from "prefer not to say". Although the choices do cover most people... as has been pointed out quite clearly, they do not fit everyone.
Consider...
Children. I have a 20 year old son. There was no abandonment, there was no fighting with his Mom. We tried it for the first three years, and it did not work out. She got married soon after we went our separate ways, and he has had a great live and good pair of parents for his life so far. I communicate with him almost daily, but I've not seen him face to face since he was 3. So do I have children? Yes. Is my child in any way an active part of my life? No. If I answer Yes (and my child was under 18), then anyone reading my profile will think I have a child with me, and that dating me means dealing with my child as well. If I say no, and it comes out that I do actually have a son, I'm leaving myself open to being called a liar. So, what do I pick for that question?
Drugs. Are all drugs the same? Are all drugs the same to every person? If someone says they do drugs, does that mean they do cocaine? Heroin? Speed? Crystal Meth? Pot? If someone says they do drugs, isn't that saying "Hello, I do illegal things." Pot for example, might be considered a "drug" but to the majority of people, it is not the same at ALL as all the rest of the things that are labeled "drugs" It was made illegal for different reasons, and you can actually legally pay your tax on it in 14 states in the US currently. Different cities and states have different laws regarding it (like treating it like jay-walking in Colorado, to long jail time for small amounts in Utah). So if someone smokes Pot on occasion (say, a couple of times a year with friends), but would never even think of touching anything harder... does that mean they should answer that they do drugs, and let people's imagination run wild about what that means? Or should they say with complete honesty, that they "prefer not to say" so that they will not be prejudged incorrectly.
Now, I do understand some of the confusion about other uses of the choice "prefer not to say". Marriage, for instance. On a dating site, people should state clearly their current relationship status. I don't think that question should even have "prefer not to say" as a choice.
In the end, the posters who said that if you don't like a profile, you should just move on to the next one. Going bat$hit crazy in a thread about how wrong and unfair it is, just makes you appear psychotic. It does nothing towards making people decide to fix their profiles so that they are more suitable for you. | |
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| prefer not to say...WTF???
Posted: 3/7/2009 7:33:43 AM | ..Prefer Not To Say........ I was going to write that in my "About Me' section but the word-count police caught me.  | |
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| prefer not to say...WTF???
Posted: 3/7/2009 10:14:39 AM | | I agree with the majority of people that "prefer not to say" basically means YES in most situations..... however in the smoking, drinking and drugs categories there are other options, namely, "occasionally" or "socially". In my case that is not deceit. I seldom drink but when I do I also smoke, so "occasionally" is valid and not deceitful. I didn't know that body type had a "prefer not to say" option. This is where I have found the most deceit or maybe it is disillusion or self perception. I can't tell you how many times I have met someone only to find that they are at best "a few extra pound" or even obese when they actually have said "average". Average is a wide ranging category (no pun intended) and average for a 20 year old is different than average for a 50 year old. In that category I really wish it would narrow it down (again.... no pun intended) to height and weight. I would much rather meet and date someone who is a few extra pounds than someone who is a little overweight and says "athletic" or "average". Of course even then there will always be liars. | |
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| prefer not to say...WTF???
Posted: 3/7/2009 10:22:02 AM | | Gwendolyn2008 I agree totally with you about profession. That can be a sensitive area and if your profession equals high income or low income, then if you put something "fantastical" as you recommend, it weeds out those who are materialistic. That's why I put "Village Idiot" in that spot. If you see that and care to read the rest of my profile then you will find that I'm not in the Rich and Famous category. | |
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| prefer not to say...WTF???
Posted: 3/7/2009 10:50:28 AM | | I can see at least one sensible reason for someone to say "Prefer Not To Say" in regard to the "Children" question. What if the person has no living children? Saying either "Yes" or "No" could be seen as unrealistic, confusing and confused. Not to mention painful. So it would be something they "prefer not to say" to near-strangers and leave it for explanation only if a rapport/friendship develops. | |
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| prefer not to say...WTF???
Posted: 3/7/2009 11:08:51 AM | I personally do not like the "Prefer not to say" option in general. I think women use it to better "match" a guy when communicating.
Here is what I think when I see it in the following categories:
Smoker: Probably does when out drinking but not daily. Or maybe a heavy chain smoker. Not a pass/fail one for me.
Body Type: Unless there are recent full body shots, I assume morbidly obese. If you don't want to say BBW, what ARE you?
Religion: Willing to take a gamble. Might be nominally something but don't go much. Of course, may be some "alternaitve" religion.
Drink: You do or you don't. Seriously, answer this one people.
Marital Status: We DO have separated as an option. If you put prefer not to say, I assume married/cheating and move on.
Profession: I'm ambivalent on this one.. Unless its code for "I live off my alimony/welfare" then it makes me pissed.
Do you want children: I'm OK with it here, only because POF's options are limiting. If there was a "Yes, but not anytime soon" or a "Not within 5/7/10 years" option I would prefer that to PNTS.
Drugs: If PNTS, I assume yes.
Do you have kids: I assume "YES" with PNTS. And as someone who prefers not to date women with kids, I pass this up.
Car: Maybe if there was a "No, I use public transit, or only have a Motorcycle  option" I would be more picky.
Honestly though, things that are a CLEAR yes/no answer.. PNTS shouldn't even be an option. | |
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| prefer not to say...WTF???
Posted: 10/2/2009 9:23:10 AM | | yup, very annoying when a girl puts "prefer not to say" for body type and only has face pics. Why hide it when the truth will come out eventually. You might be wasting people's times like that. | |
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