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| Ladies, let me review you!
Posted: 3/20/2006 5:29:18 AM | Alrighty then.. back from my vacation and I even have a few minutes before starting work to answer a few of these. Talk about coming back to a backlog - not that I'm complaining.
Autummist: That's actually not a bad profile at all. You get to the point, avoid the negative and state what you want very concisely. About the only comment I have for change is your excessive use of ... at the ... end of many ... sentences... I would personally get away from that and just use a single period. It gives the writing a better flow.
Other than that keep your hook in the water and best of luck to you! | |
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| Ladies, let me review you!
Posted: 3/20/2006 5:37:27 AM | Italianqueen: It's not a bad profile, but I would suggest a bit more. Your two main paragraphs could really be combined into one, with one more added about your ideal match. As in my previous post, I suggest avoiding the ... at the end of sentences, just to give your writing a better flow.
Your photos look good in the thumbnail size, but when enlarged they are kind of grainy and out of focus, and that doesn't give your readers a clear picture of you. If you have higher resolution photos handy, I would suggest uploading those instead.
Finally - what is Starbuch's? ;-) Sounds kind of Germanic to me. 
Happy hunting and good luck. | |
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| Ladies, let me review you!
Posted: 3/20/2006 5:44:36 AM | dallasbeach: Yep, I was on March Break. I didn't go overly wild but certainly enjoyed my time away.
On to the task at hand - your education certainly shows through in your profile, as it is quite well written. It gives a good sense of who you are and what you like to do with your life, outside of work. Next step: We need something about who you're looking for as well. Not every person out there is a profile reader, but for those who are they should be able to get a sense from reading you as to whether they are on your radar or not. Just a few sentences is usually enough, mentioning two or three things that really interest you in a guy.
Add a few more photos as well if you can - the one you have posted is almost mug-shot-like in appearance. Just a thought.
Hope this helps! | |
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| Ladies, let me review you!
Posted: 3/20/2006 8:14:23 AM | sweetnsassy: I always try to be constructive.. :-)
I would suggest not starting your profile with possible reasons why you're still single. Always think and come across positive. You come across as a happy and friendly person, and that's what you should be putting forward as you write. As in previous posts, I suggest a short blurb about yourself, and if you wish, a little on the kind of person you're looking for as well.
Your first date idea sounds nice, and I wouldn't make any changes to that. Ditto for your photos - they're well chosen and give a look at you in different surroundings.
I hope this helps! Let me know if you want another opinion later on. | |
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| Ladies, let me review you!
Posted: 3/20/2006 8:18:44 AM | Fiesty: Your request sounds suspiciously like work. Paste your profile over here and I'll give a look for sure.. :-)
Re. what you already have posted here, it's not bad but it comes across as point form notes. The educator in me wants you to use full sentences - it just reads better and is easier to follow. Although short, it does get the point across.
Let me know if/when your other profile is on here.. good luck in the meantime! | |
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| Ladies, let me review you!
Posted: 3/20/2006 8:49:17 AM | sweetrain: Consider it done. Not bad, although short. You come off sounding like the kind of person a lot of guys would want to get to know. I might suggest a little more detail about yourself, and maybe a bit on the kind of guy you want to respond to you. My usual suggestion is a list of "dos" rather than a list of "don'ts", so as to keep the tone of your profile on the positive side, overall. Judging by what you have written so far that shouldn't be a problem.
You have a nice photo up, but a few more would be good if possible? Something to consider at least.
Hope this is helpful! | |
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| Ladies, let me review you!
Posted: 3/20/2006 11:32:55 AM | Ok Parksie,
I would really appreciate the help. For some reason I cannot understand what I'm doing wrong. Not getting any responses.
Any and all help is appreciated!
Ladycatpink in MD | |
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| Ladies, let me review you!
Posted: 3/21/2006 6:53:10 AM | Thanks Parksie....I like the skin and fry part! Good humor on you!
Cheers!
Val | |
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| Ladies, let me review you!
Posted: 3/21/2006 7:18:42 AM | Thanks Parksie
I'm doing a rewrite on my "match" profile
BEFORE I ask you to review it. (Using the advice you've already given me) | |
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| Ladies, let me review you!
Posted: 3/21/2006 12:20:02 PM | Please feel free to critique mine. Do you think my pictures work, or should I think about changing them?
Thanks in advance. | |
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| Ladies, let me review you!
Posted: 3/21/2006 12:43:35 PM | ladycat: Well, I looked and I thought and I can't see anything in your profile that would be driving the guys away. I really can't. It looks well written, casts you in a positive light and avoids the negatives. I don't think there's anything I would change.
One thing I must ask in this situation though - are you being the angler or the bait? A lot of women (as best I can tell) are posting their profiles up here and waiting for the men to come swarming. I don't know how active you have been, but maybe try sending out a minor mountain of messages to guys who you think would be a good match, and see what happens. You never know, though as King Lear would say "Nothing will come of nothing".
Give it a shot, and good luck! | |
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| Ladies, let me review you!
Posted: 3/21/2006 12:52:22 PM | primlearthangel: M'lady, you need to write something about yourself! You've put up some nice photos as bait, but the rest is a total mystery. That might appeal to some guys, but a profile should tell us something about you. It'd also give me something to review!!
The postscript about "prefer not to say" is fine, though it sounds a little rant-ish. It would fit better at the end of a writeup - right now it comprises about half of the 'about you' section.
The photos of you are very nice and I am tempted to suggest posting more. The other graphics are a bit out of place. My personal opinion is that they don't really fit with a profile, and I'm inclined to think not many will even look at them. My opinion though, and I certainly can't speak for everyone.
I'll come back sometime and give another look if you like.. let me know! | |
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| Ladies, let me review you!
Posted: 3/21/2006 12:58:30 PM | ok I'm in.
I look forward to any good stuff you might say or any critisims you might have.
Thanks Parksie. | |
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| Ladies, let me review you!
Posted: 3/21/2006 12:59:45 PM | skibunny: Not bad, although I usually suggest something a little more fleshed out. I'm going to take a short break from my usual 2-paragraph mantra - have you been getting favourable responses so far?
You sound like a fun girl to know and I have a feeling that the guys out there who actually read profiles would like to know more about you. Of course, maybe that curiosity will generate more messages, who knows.
About your photos, since you ask: They aren't bad - you're cute! However, why would you post a shot of you wearing sunglasses as your main pic??? Let's see those eyes. What other photos have you got in your collection?
Hope this helps and I'll have a second look sometime, if you like. | |
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| Ladies, let me review you!
Posted: 3/21/2006 1:10:58 PM | heartstillopen: It's not bad, but I can certainly provide some suggestions.
Your first paragraph is actually quite good and I wouldn't change anything there. However, you get into this thing about faults, and while I admire your honesty I really have to ask: What good does it serve? My #1 suggestion always is to highlight the positive. that's like putting your hook in the water with no worm.
Your photo is something I would change as well. A good photo should have you looking at the camera.. we want to see your face, not your ear. The other graphic (as I mentioned in a recent previous post) doesn't really add to your profile, and I question the benefit of having it there. Ultimitely, it's up to you of course.
That's all I can think of right now! Best of luck. | |
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| Ladies, let me review you!
Posted: 3/21/2006 1:50:43 PM | Ok,thanks Parksie. I just added that faults stuff today. LOL
I'm think you are right and i'm taking it off.
I take a crappy pic too, i'm not at all photogenic, but I am going to work on getting some more on here. Thanks again.. | |
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| Ladies, let me review you!
Posted: 3/21/2006 2:07:06 PM | Ok Parksie
I just posted a new profile.
Need a new review. Please AND thank you! | |
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