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| CAN YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT IF YOU'VE NEVER BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP?
Posted: 8/4/2006 6:56:10 AM | Searching for a relationship is like searching for a home.
You start out with a simple bedroom in your parent’s house but long for a place of your own.
Your first apartment is small and cramped and has all sorts of problems but you are young and it’s great to have your own place. You don't mind the fact that you have no running water on Thursdays or the hole in the wall by the stove.
You might move around quite a bit...going from apartment to apartment. Then finally, you find a better place. This one really appeals to you because it is so cute. The owner did a really nice job making the outside look quite attractive and very hip. You may even plan on staying there for awhile. Then without notice, the faucet leaks or the cable reception isn't so great. Minor things you can deal with because it’s better than your last apartment. You do, however, finally decide to speak to management about some of the problems and perhaps the response to address these issues isn't that swift. You try talking to them about it but never seem to get anywhere. So you tell yourself it's time to move again.
Now you've acquired some substantial rental experience and know what you like and what you don't like. So you screen each new complex better, to ensure you don't repeat your pattern of just falling for a place with great curb appeal. YOU know that you need more than a place with great shrubs in the front.
Your next place is much nicer, and you may even discover amenities you didn't realize you would get when you signed the lease. Some additional perks like an exercise room or a library.
Throughout your young single life, as you change and mature, you keep moving. Until one day, you drive by the house of your dreams. It’s got everything you want. It is NOTHING like the last few places you've lived. It is amazing! It's on a great street, is well maintained, and the INSIDE IS COMPLETELY FURNISHED AND DECORATED. It makes your heart swell every time you see it.
You realize that you've finally found what you never knew you were missing, but have always wanted. The perfect house for you. So you grab the Realtor’s pen and put down offer today before anyone else gets wind of it. | |
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| CAN YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT IF YOU'VE NEVER BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP?
Posted: 8/4/2006 7:23:59 AM | | I guess a person who has never been in a relationship will soon learn that looks aren't everything (but it is the starting point usually). Usually you look for some near reflection of yourself. So yes you can know what you want but you may be fooled by a few lookers along the way. This is where people try to change someone into what they want. Ain't going to happen. | |
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| CAN YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT IF YOU'VE NEVER BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP?
Posted: 8/5/2006 2:22:39 PM | "One thing i don't understand is how someone can know what they're looking for if they have never been in a serious relationship before.
I guess my question to all of you guys/gal: Can you really know what you want for your "future partner" if you've never been in a serious relationship?"
Ofcourse. I've never been in a relationship serious or otherwise, you name it. But, I know what I want. Sometimes, you can look at other people's lives and really learn to know what you want and what to avoid. You don't always have to learn from your own mistakes. You can always learn from other people's mistakes too. That's surely my case. Some of my friends have had disasters for relationships. I just have learned to avoid those pitfalls well atleast until now and hopefully always. I don't want to settle for less just because that would put an end to my singledom. I don't function that way.
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| CAN YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT IF YOU'VE NEVER BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP?
Posted: 8/5/2006 5:05:01 PM | | Good God girl your 26 and never been in a serious relationship? In the western days people where grown married and dead and burried by the time they were 26. And they usually left behind children. My best suggestion would be to seek what you want in a partner, but learn to understand characters in people, that is how they are and think. If they think and act like you do then they are a good start to finding a right match. I am blown away by this thread. | |
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| CAN YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT IF YOU'VE NEVER BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP?
Posted: 10/2/2006 7:41:59 AM | | how exactly is a person suppose to get in a relationship and gain that so called experience if everyone is as close minded as you and doesn't give them a chance. stop generalizing and judge a individual readiness for a relationship on who they are and not their past experiences or lack of. you sound like those employers who won't hire someone because they have never had a job experience before. to get job experience you need someone to be open minded and take a chance on you. | |
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| CAN YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT IF YOU'VE NEVER BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP?
Posted: 8/1/2007 10:41:08 AM |
One thing i don't understand is how someone can know what they're looking for if they have never been in a serious relationship before.
I guess my question to all of you guys/gal: Can you really know what you want for your "future partner" if you've never been in a serious relationship?
Or am i being closed minded in thinking its a far fetch to know what you want or even obtaining what your after if you haven't been in some sort of relationship?
I think I had a pretty good idea what I wanted from my first serious relationship. It's true that I really didn't have enough relationship experiance to know the best way for me and my at the time gf to both get what we wanted, which is actually what broke us up since what we each wanted actually confilcted a bit, not to the point that it couldn't have worked, but I think it would have required that at least one of us had been in a serious relationship before, possibly even both of us. | |
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| CAN YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT IF YOU'VE NEVER BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP?
Posted: 8/1/2007 10:50:52 AM | Even without experience first hand, you're going to want something to aspire to.
So yeah.. even without having been coupled, you can still have an idea of what you want in your head. Experience from then on will help you alter those ideas. | |
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| CAN YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT IF YOU'VE NEVER BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP?
Posted: 8/1/2007 10:52:38 AM | I recently went out with a super great guy and the only thing wrong was that he had never been in a serious relationship. In order to know what is required in a relationship you have to have been in one!
Fair enough right?
I don't get it. If that was the only thing, um - wrong - he sounds pretty darn good. I don't agree with your premise. I've only been in one relationship, therefore when I got into it, I'd never been in one before. It worked out fine. | |
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| CAN YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT IF YOU'VE NEVER BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP?
Posted: 8/1/2007 12:51:24 PM | | I don't think most know what they want even after they've been in such a relationship, although we might get a better idea. That being said, just because someone hasn't been in one yet doesn't mean they wouldn't find what they want in you, even if they don't know you're what they want yet. | |
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