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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > What ever happened to committment and chivalry?      Home login  
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 ichi-bon
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 226
What ever happened to committment and chivalry?Page 10 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
and then the Crusaders used 'the teachings of Jesus' to justify slaughtering tens of thousands of 'non-believers' or 'infidels' or whatever other label you wish to use..(mostly Muslims) ncluding men, women and small children, chopping their heads off til the streets ran red with blood..

You seem to miss the whole point of these discussions:..........you are classing all Christians. all chivarous men, .all Crusaders as you call them in one group. If you didn't know..........it was in fact Jesus' own that crucified HIM, but that did not make HIM any less than HE was.
So much of everything including the Bible are taken out of context. and only convenient parts used, that man can justify his behavior by doing that. However this discussion is not about our faith, but about common decency, committment and chivalry. Let me ask this of those that are against it or only believe it should be given to those "worthy". How do you treat your mother ? How do you feel if someone mistreats your mother?
Do you expect a man to treat your sister the same way you view treating women?
Chivalry is NOT dead, and using any history from the PAST or PRESENT is not an excuse for bad manners, and or the lack of chivary and committment.
My neighbor may beat his dog, slap his wife and not take care of his children...but that does not give me the excuse to lower my standards and follow him. I choose to be upright and not follow the crowd, but rather what I know is right. I would rather be misjudged for doing right, than to go with what goes against my grain, and treat people as I may in my stupidity perceive THEY DESERVE to be treated. Thank God I have ran into wonderful people in my life that have treated me like a queen, when I may have felt because of my lack of social standing, finances, lack of education, my shyness......etc that I myself did not deserve it myself. Those people stand tallest in my heart and mind..and always will.
You are so young to be so bitter!
 seaga
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 227
What ever happened to committment and chivalry?
Posted: 11/16/2008 4:07:39 PM

A jerk has positive attributes that women like
(a jackass has the negative stuff)
leader/dominant/confidence - approaches and talks to women non-apologetically.
aggressiveness - it is the man's duty to pursue.
truthful - says exactly what is on his mind. She enjoys knowing when she is misbehaving.
exciting - you never know what is coming next

A doormat has negative attributes women rightfully hate.
submissive - follow her around and cater to her every wish and beg for a kiss.
buy dinners - trying to buy love or sex from her? no wonder she withholds from you.
liar - only say what you think she wants to hear. You are pathetically predictable.
boring - you only want to spend time in her world. Get your own life and be interesting.

I believe someone said "a man should never give up his power". I think he means men shouldn't become wussy. While, opening up to a woman is called intimacy and is certainly desirable.

Bottom line: Guys out there, be jerks - not jackasses or doormats.

Read "Way of the Superior Man" by David Deida for more info on men giving up their power and how it ruins the relationship


wow..what a stupid thing to say! first of all not all jerks act the way you describe..not all jerks are truthful, and upfront and honest..i dont know where the hell you got that from! not all jerks are aggressive, not all jerks are exciting.....i dont know where you get all that from...hmm i guess that is why you women all want jerks...well that is what you guys should take what you get from them when they hurth you and only blame yourselves.
 10of6
Joined: 8/27/2008
Msg: 228
What ever happened to committment and chivalry?
Posted: 11/16/2008 5:25:09 PM
"Come on men, straighten up, stop making all men look bad, and making it harder for the good ones."
I don't understand this line of thought at all. No one put me on earth to "represent." I act out of respect for myself and for others who have earned it. I can't imagine your pleading will even have much effect on impressing women, either, since millions of them have bought into the anti-male propaganda that permeates western cultures. If that was the intent of your plea, it was naive; if it was to inspire men, I dare say that you don't know what inspires men.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 229
view profile
History
What ever happened to committment and chivalry?
Posted: 11/17/2008 12:35:23 PM

Most women unless they are ready to marry - find it boring unless it is johnny depp being chivalrous. And an awful lot of women are doing the "we grew apart" thing, and grabbing the house and kids, leaving the knight in shining armor hocking his armor to cover child support.


Ahhhh ~ how frickin' sad. I don't know if this was composed by a man or woman, really makes no difference. The rays of sunshine just pour of out this quote. For all of you who think differently, you are the reason I still believe(d). I don't care what anyone on a "dating" site states, if you deserve it, you get it. If you don't ~ so sorry. I heard this really alarming story from someone I thought was a "friend" once. He had a date ~ dinner. She refused to open her own door, so he left her in his truck until his meal was done (I doubt he even tipped, but that's just my guess) and she just sat there waiting. That to me, is a clear example of why/how things have become so skewed. Guys ~ it's not about money. (At least not to some of us.) It's about "thought" and gentleness/kindness. The man in my life went on vacation to Mexico without me not long ago ~ I got shells from the beach. He got a "welcome home" card. That is, to me, what this is about. And he would NEVER leave me in the truck because my door didn't open on it's own. Common courtesy rings a bell (and YES, I'm more than capable of opening my own damn door ~ it's just nice when it's not expected.) Wow, today ~ I'm so happy for those in my life male or female, who feel ecards, snail-mail, simple gifts and impromtu phone calls mean something. It doesn't cost a penny to let someone know they are special. (In fact, the free stuff means much more than the other, at least to me.) Good luck to you all who think it's about something else ~ what a rough road that must be to travel. (To the rest of you? ) JMO
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 230
view profile
History
What ever happened to committment and chivalry?
Posted: 11/17/2008 1:12:30 PM

Honor above all, death before dishonor
- Respect yourself and others
- Your word is your bond
- Courage at all time.
- Honest in your mind and in your heart.
- Faith in your convictions in front of adversity.
- Your duty is to protect who can't
- Uphold justice even before law or power.
- Help anyone in need.

And this applies to BOTH genders. And people who truly GET what honesty and "your word is your bond" means,don't usually have a whole lot of trouble with the concept of committment, be it to a life partner, a cause, a family, a career, a friend or even a pet.
The "manners" part simply arises from LIVING the stated tenents.
Why does everyone have to keep trying to make this way harder than it needs to be?
Cindy O
 carebear133
Joined: 10/15/2008
Msg: 231
What ever happened to committment and chivalry?
Posted: 11/17/2008 2:16:31 PM
They are good words. To add to your comment about a woman has to live by those words to well there are some out there I should know cause I am one. We may be few and far between but we are out there. I was in a relationship with a chivalis man and he was appreciated very much. I do agree that if men are not appreciated for this then they will discontinue to do it.
 silversailor
Joined: 7/19/2007
Msg: 232
What ever happened to committment and chivalry?
Posted: 11/17/2008 4:35:02 PM
you put the nail on the coffin... and as such it is what it is to some, most ladies will wait, not been the issue if you can or can't open the door, but is the person with you care about you/respect you to open it for you.. my Castillian heritage still gives me pleasure to open a door / pull a chair for my date... my .2c
 Ben_Raines
Joined: 8/15/2006
Msg: 233
What ever happened to committment and chivalry?
Posted: 11/18/2008 4:02:26 PM
Chivalry, many would say this is an outdated term and concept. In our "New Age" world of "sexual equality" it has no place.. I say WRONG!! Chivalry is but a term used to describe the concept of doing what is RIGHT. It has nothing to do with knights or The Crusades, it has everything to do with following the Golden Rule of treating others as you wish to be treated. It transcends age and gender, it is timeless. It is behaving as a Gentleman or Lady and doing so ALL the time, not just for show, not just when someone is looking. It is not being a wimp or a doormat, it is not doing something for someone else because it is required, but rather because you want to, because it is the right thing TO DO. It is being Honest, Kind, respectful, truthful, helpful and courageous in the face of adversity. It is protecting those who can't (not won't) protect themselves, as I stated above it is doing the right thing. It is being nice simply because that is what one should be. It is being compassionate, but with a firmness that does not confuse compassion with weakness. It is calm, quiet strength, it's "manners" that hopefully you were taught by your parents(????). It is recognizing, considering and respecting the rights (and feelings) of others and realizing their opinions are as valid as yours. It is living up to commitments that you have made be they personal or business. Chivalry should not be confused with religion although many of the precepts thereof are based in virtually all major religions. Honesty, Kindness, Compassion and Respect will never be outdated concepts nor will Strength, Resolution and Commitment.

Men, if you treat a woman like a LADY, Most (though sadly not all) will act like a LADY.

Ladies, if you expect (and require) that a man act like a GENTLEMAN while in your company, Most (though sadly not all) will behave in that manner.

Men, if after you've treated a woman like a LADY, she does not behave in that manner, DO NOT allow her your company again, in fact end the date soonest.

Ladies, Most men will behave as well as you require or as badly as you allow.

Respect for one's self and others is the cornerstone of all relationships and chivalry is but a set of guidlines for our behavior within those relationships.
 ichi-bon
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 234
What ever happened to committment and chivalry?
Posted: 11/18/2008 4:34:53 PM
Ben_Raines

WOW, you hit it all right on the head ! AWESOME>...............and what a woman you have!!! I am so happy for both of YOU!!!!!!!!
 cheryls place
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 235
What ever happened to committment and chivalry?
Posted: 11/18/2008 6:10:52 PM
It went the way of the Friends with Benifits bullshit. Why should we expect the man to respect us , when we can't respect ourselves. ANd will take anything that comes along. Not me though, I am willing to wait for my prince.
 LeagueCtyLdy
Joined: 9/21/2008
Msg: 236
What ever happened to committment and chivalry?
Posted: 11/18/2008 7:56:12 PM
AGAIN, I attribute this to being the women's fault. WE have allowed men to become romantically lazy and disrespectful. Men will seek the path of least resistance. Don't be easy and they will stop expecting us to have sex with them on the second date! IF all we women would decide to be more old-fashion, the men would have to abide by our rules, instead of us cowtowing to their demands.
 10of6
Joined: 8/27/2008
Msg: 237
What ever happened to committment and chivalry?
Posted: 11/19/2008 7:11:36 PM
^^^^^ I have a list of demands...and if you don't meet them, I'll...I'lll....I'll....go abroad and find a foreign woman.
 Ladytabor
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 238
What ever happened to committment and chivalry?
Posted: 11/19/2008 8:57:06 PM
It's nice to know there are still some chivalrious men out there. I love for a man to open the door for me, makes me feel special. It actually makes a big impression on me if it is a first date with him and I do notice if he doesn't open the doors for me. Another quality I notice is his language. My late husband never cussed around me even when he was angry and he would quickly call down any man who did cuss in my presence. This made me not only feel loved but respected by him.
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