| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 2/23/2009 6:01:53 PM | All I get is that I am a typical man from my female friends, but I don't mind those comments at all... because I am the only oe that has yet to be married let alone divorced..Single by choice?...you bet....still looking?...damn rights...she is stillout there waiting for me (or vice versa).
The only thing I could relate to why I am picky after 30 is that I want quality than quanity, if your the type of lady that gets off on belittleing her man, then she can go find some other sucker...but if she would like a person to compliment her...here I am, just be yourself and I'll do the same...sounds simple doesn't it but so many cannot see to do that basic thing...take care out there | |
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| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 2/24/2009 6:38:59 AM | Im not picky. I have standards, but not picky. Hope some of the women on here are the same of im screwed Although I am not actively looking right now and just looking for friends, I would never say no if asked out. I am a man and my subconscious is always looking. | |
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| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 2/24/2009 1:52:21 PM | Well, I'm fricken picky dang it. And being picky got me the woman I couldn't have ever dreamed of!
Funny thing is, I almost "Read/Deleted" her first contact email!
There's nothing wrong with being picky.
After 30, we know better about whom we are as individuals. We also have a better grasp on what does and doesn't work for us in relationships.
And to be honest, I was MORE picky about appearances in my 20s!
However, I STILL don't go for slouches in the looks department. But my tastes have refined. | |
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| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 2/25/2009 11:49:36 PM | | I'm not picky, but people can give me the wrong vibes... I hate when men don't open car doors. I don't go for bible beaters and or really sleazy guys either. Rednecks put chills of fear down my spine. ANY man that I see posing with a fish or other dead animal gets deleted. Ugh...or when they take pictures of their car--well, unless they restored the car or something. That's another matter altogether. | |
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| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 2/26/2009 7:04:21 AM | | I wouldn't say that we are picky. I think that we have just learned from our experiences. We know what we are willing to compromise on and what the deal breakers are. | |
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| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 2/26/2009 10:25:04 AM | I don't think it's picky, I think a lot of people neglect to take care of themselves physically when they age. Some people naturally age well - but looking your best is a CHOICE, and it involves making healthy conscious decisions to eat properly and exercise. Nothing against cosmetic procedures either, if necessary. You're only as good as you feel - and our appearance is a reflection of who we are inside.
In my 20's I gained knowledge of fitness and nutrition. I used to weigh 270 and I was even a smoker longer ago. I wouldn't say we are picky - I would say it's harder to find people that we still find attractive that are our age and older without dipping into the one's in their 20's.
Regardless of what people think, physical attraction is important to maintain a long healthy relationship. Too many people let themselves go - people need to learn how to be in a relationship with someone and not get comfortable to where they stop caring about themselves. That happens WAY to often, and I have done it myself. Never again. I go to the gym and workout for myself, I make healthier choices for MYSELF (it's okay to treat yourself now and then) - but if I find someone to LOVE, and that will LOVE me back, then that will just be one extra reason to keep working out and being the best I can be!
Mike | |
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| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 2/27/2009 5:48:14 PM | | I couldn't agree more. A lot of people seem to very close minded when it comes to a potential date/mate. Nobody is ANYONES "perfect" mate. We all have yin/yang..2 sides to things.I agree that some of it comes from learning from our past mistakes... what works for us and what doesn't... But still, It's our minds and personalities that should be as important as our looks or bodies. I've been told plenty of times I'm handsome.... or " I love your pic" but I'd really prefer someone to want me for what's inside.... I know that sounds corny, but it's truly the way I feel. | |
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| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 2/27/2009 7:44:15 PM | | I think alot of these threads on here show that we all learn as we go. And if your over 30 or 40 you have been there and done that, so why go backwards? Unless your really a people person and truely understand human nature and arn't afraid to lower your guard. I think of it as lessons learned. | |
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| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 2/27/2009 7:54:02 PM | Picky isnt a very good description of what i am.
I know what i want at this point, ive made most of the big mistakes im going to make, i hope, and i know that there are a gazillion people out there and the odds are that there is more than one person for everyone.
I would rather go out with people that i may not be 100% compatible with than someone who is exactly like me. I think we can all learn something from everyone we meet, so why not take a step out of the comfort zone? | |
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| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 2/27/2009 10:18:23 PM | | There are several reasons why we become picky as we get older. Well the older we get the wiser we are supposed to become lol notice i said supposed to become. Age isnt always a good measure of maturity . With life comes experiances both good and bad , how we react and handle those does a great deal to shape who we are as a person. Our experiances help to mold us into who we are and how we see the world around us and also how we interact with others both in positive and negative ways. With all that being said the reason we all become picky is because of failed past relationships as well as learning about yourself who you are what you like and want out of life in a partner etc.... When you get a good idea of who you are what you want then you can choose those characteristics you want in someone else. You also learn what you will and wont accept in your life . Hope that helps. | |
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| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 2/28/2009 10:16:32 AM | | I think there are a number of factors involved. I think many folks get more comfortable the longer they are single, and hence there is a lot less in the way of adjustments to their lifestyles they are willing to make and less habits they are willing to tolerate from a partner. Also, I think a lot of folks have seen or experienced the devastation divorce can bring and aren't willing to chance it. As someone else pointed out to, many just cannot afford to make the wrong decision in selecting a mate at this point either. Combine that with other issues, and you have a number of people who just aren't willing to take the plunge where, say 10 or 20 years earlier, they might have. Sadly, there just aren't that many long-lived marriages as there were in our parent's and grandparent's generation when compared to the number of marriages overall. | |
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| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 2/28/2009 10:44:05 AM | Experience is what it comes down to.
Most people, by the time they reach thier thirties (and beyond) have had enough of the judegemental, shallow BS & mind games in thier younger days.
Of course, there are still plenty of people out there who are in thier thirties and beyond and who have difficulty in behaving like Adults. Some decide to mature & come to the realization that true beauty really does come from within, while others still have a lot of growing up to do. | |
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| What are we doing?
Posted: 3/1/2009 3:15:40 PM | I think I've always been 'picky' 
I think I'm more cautious about the type of person I start to get closer to maybe??
Natural I think to avoid making old mistakes again... | |
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| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 3/1/2009 4:12:52 PM | not my case at all - I have learned to lower my standard that I had when I was in my 20's and even early 30's....
If you keep upping your standard- then by the time your 40 there won't be anyone left worth dating anymore :) | |
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| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 3/2/2009 8:08:31 AM | People in their 30s get more picky because they became more secure with themselves. They're much more willing to be alone for life than to settle for less. Lord knows I'm that way, and I have no qualms about never marrying.
It's the ones in a rush for a mate, family, or even insecure and see "single = loser" that are not picky. | |
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| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 3/2/2009 10:03:46 AM | I'm mixing it up a bit. One the one hand : I know what I like and don't like, what works for me and what doesn't. I've learned not to do that young woman thing and tell myself he has potential...if only, then attempt to change him. He is who he is. I like some faults. They can be endearing traits. I'm not seeking perfection. It's boring and it doesn't exist. Our battle scars make us who we are, which hopefully is older and wiser. I don't have as much time as I did 20 yrs ago. I want to make a damned great decision next time I marry. I definately want to be married again. I loved it!!! One the other hand: I am doing a little of the 20's thing by dating a out of my comfort zone, seeking fun. I recently dated a gentleman 17yrs my junior. I never would've done so in the past, but I thought what the hell? Is he marriage material? For someone else sure. For me no. I wasn't looking for that with him. I was living in the moment during that date. He was confident, fun, charming, a true gentleman and I had a great time! I plan to see him again in 2 weeks! (I write with a grin ) | |
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jaljct
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Joined: 2/25/2009
Msg: 95 | |
| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 3/2/2009 2:35:37 PM | | I'm so glad I've found this thread! I thought I was the only person to feel like this! This must mean I'm a normal judging by everyone elses posts! | |
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camp63
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Joined: 5/11/2008
Msg: 96 | |
| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 3/3/2009 10:04:15 AM | | There's truth to what you said Mike regarding physical attraction & looking your best. However, sometimes a commitment to a sick family member or other extenuating circumstances can push this priority to the bottom of the list. Physical attraction as well as character/personality, both in concert, is appealing. However, in my experience, personality/character usually wins me over. | |
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| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 3/5/2009 10:20:10 PM | It's like college. 20s are the time to earn a Bachelors, where you can flounder a bit, take electives and useless classes. 30s are that sobering time when you realize you're not going to live forever, so you better get your ass in gear, so they are the Masters, where you concentrate on a specific area of interest. 40s become the graduate thesis, where you've hopefully grown wiser, learned from past experiences and have that area of interest honed down to absolute specific fundamentals.
Or it could just be that it sucks getting old. We become more inflexible and deeply entrenched in a comfort zone. The blood cools and we're afraid to venture out and try new things, because we know our increasingly fragile bodies and minds can't handle the stress. | |
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| What are we doing?
Posted: 3/5/2009 10:25:13 PM | I was picky even in my 20's! It made it even harder because I had some financial difficulties back then, too... Maybe I would not have been so had I the cash to burn now... | |
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| What are we doing?
Posted: 3/6/2009 10:13:20 AM | | In your 30's you are more picky because you realized there's a lot more choices out there, and you want to find the right one this time, and less desperate. Back in your 20's people are less picky because they were more desperate. | |
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| What are we doing?
Posted: 3/6/2009 10:37:47 AM | Is it that we become more picky when older, or is it that we have expanded our want and need list far beyond "that person is hot", like we so did when a teen and in our 20's?
You know, now that you have me thinking back to those years, I remember my thought process when working on having that first car...... I wanted "hot" and "fast", and did not look much into the other things that one should consider when buying a car.
Now that I am much more mature, I still like "hot" and "fast", but will also need to make sure the sticker price is within my comfort zone, that is can cruise and not rattle me to death, and be sleek on the curves, and not just the straightaway....... 
So, long story made short..........I was picky when younger, but what I was picky about is far different from what I am picky about now.......go figure.....
Just my opinion.......   | |
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