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| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 3/25/2009 1:58:00 PM | I still say it to death it's ok to be picky as long as you get results out of it.
If you wake up one morning and no one in your available dating pool is "good enough" then either accept being alone until someone new and ideal comes along, or rethink the selection criteria. | |
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| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 3/26/2009 6:58:20 AM | | I haven't becomy picky actually I would say the opposite. i know I am not in your prime any more so I have to accept what comes along which is not a lot as a lot of women of my age are married and therefore not available. So on the contrary I am more open-minded. | |
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fila1
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Joined: 8/19/2005
Msg: 130 | |
| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 3/26/2009 4:00:05 PM | | I agree totally with all your comments. I think we are afraid to make the wrong choices again because the stakes are indeed higher, so we believe. There's no room for error. The margins are tighter in these years, we believe, and we play it safe. I can always trust myself. Everyone needs to have faith again and open up our hearts to possibilities. | |
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| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 3/26/2009 7:16:37 PM | Maybe because we have more $$$$$$$$$$, less tolerance for what we had tolerated, saw something better and want a pc. of it, or jusr personal growth.... And time may be running out for "happily ever after" considering somethimes its " barely happy before". | |
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| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 3/26/2009 9:31:20 PM | | I can tell you this much. I'm looking for the spark from my 20's with the maturity and compatibility that goes beyond that sexual spark I seemed to follow so much in my younger days. That's why I'm picky. | |
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| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 3/27/2009 6:01:33 AM | I don't think it is being picky. I think most people know what they want in their 30's and find it very hard to find. My experience.
Dated a girl who wanted to party every weekend.
A girl who wanted to screw over her ex, it consumed her.
A girl who was so independent that she did not know what a compromise was.
Just a few. So I am being picky, I would rather be alone than with someone I will dislike in the end. | |
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| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 3/27/2009 6:24:15 AM | | we don't get so picky after 30 it is just that we know what we dont want through life experience after 30 and basically jumped on everything when we were under 30! | |
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| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 3/27/2009 6:39:36 AM | | A lot of people mistake being picky for cynicism. The more older we get and the more relationships we endure, the more cynical we get. | |
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| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 4/3/2009 9:44:11 PM | | Yep, we've all learned the hard way in our 20's what we DON'T want for the rest of our lives. Now that we're in our 30's, we know what is most important in a relationship, and most of the time, it's not the same ideas that we had in our 20's. In our 20's, we probably still were thinking we were going to live forever, now that we're in our 30's, we want to make something work, to avoid being alone. So we have to make the right choice. | |
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| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 4/5/2009 12:37:44 PM | | I think as we get older we know what we do and don't want. I am newly divorced and know exactly what I am looking for. We aren't picky we just don't want to end up repeating the same patterns. | |
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| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 4/26/2009 7:56:31 PM | I don't think we get more picky, I think we just have a better idea of who we are as people and a better idea of what we want in someone, compared to when we were in our 20's. We may have more baggage, but hopefully we have learned from it. We also won't tolerate any more destructive behavior in our relationships, that we might have tolerated in our 20's. We aren't as tolerant of drama, which I think is a good thing.
Sometimes, being more picky, is actually a good thing. It just means we're older and wiser and a little more selective about making good healthy choices for ourselves. | |
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| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 4/27/2009 6:30:22 AM | yeah, don't ya wish you could back to being blindfolded & bubbleheaded...getting your heart broke over every guy you get a crush on...having no idea of what you really want...
it was so much simpler then...when we were out to just have fun...sometimes I wish I weren't so picky....sure would make my dating pool a lot larger...my blood pressure lower....
but there is a price you have to pay for that too...dealing with people that don't match you...lie...cheat....stupid...whatever....just because they may be cute or fun...
it's not worth it...it's frustrating sometimes...but I appreciate that I'm picky...hopefully it means eventually I'll find the 1 that's more than just cute & fun...make sense?....good luck... | |
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| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 4/27/2009 9:38:14 AM | I don't think it is that I'm so picky as I am older, wiser and know what I want in a man and a relationship. I may not look like I did when I was 20, but I'm not looking for a male that looks like he's in his 20's either. I am not expecting perfection, I'm expecting the perfect person for me and as many imperfections as I have, I'm sure he'll have a few too.  | |
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| What are we doing?
Posted: 4/27/2009 1:06:47 PM | You know, 30 is NOT that late in life any more, considering life expectancy keeps going up.
I still think I'm young and as far as I know, I'm still human. I do still get to make mistakes. What has changed is how I deal with them when they happen. My own development has led me to the point that I'm OK with screwing up on occasion, as usually I don't invest much until I know the other person is in it for the relationship and the long haul. | |
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| What are we doing?
Posted: 4/28/2009 12:11:26 AM | In my humble opinion i believe in our 20's we havent really experienced life enough to make definate decisions about who and what we are looking for in a partner. At that age we are invincible and untouchable and see the world through 'rose coloured' glasses.
In our 30's alot of us have experienced different things in relationships that we do or do not like. We all know there is no such thing as 'perfection'. I think the thing to remember is we all have faults and traits that not everyone is going to like. Your 'ideal' partner is going to be the person who has some or most of the traits you are looking for and the rest well, if they arent going to affect your life in a negative way then you could be on a winner! Even if you are madly in love with someone there will always be some things about them that drives you crazy!
As for the online dating thing, in my limited experience of it, i think the problem here is not that people are keeping their doors open incase someone better comes along but just the simple fact that every day there are new conversations being started. These days its an unfortunate fact that people are very disposable. Thats just society in general!
I also agree that it is impossible to get to know someone over one cup of coffee which seems to be the in thing, or by just emailing, txting or chatting online. These modes of communication are so impersonal and there is no way to tell if you have any type of connection/chemistry. Whatever happened to good old fashioned dating where you met each other, had a date and if you liked eachother you went out again and took the time to see where it lead you? Ive never been in the dating/singles scene up until recently and this is how i thought it worked but gee, was i wrong!! | |
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| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 4/28/2009 5:55:12 AM | If by more picky you mean not falling head over heels with anyone that pays attention then I guess I am. As to why, I would rather be single than with someone I cannot stand.
Physically I am not terribly picky. If you have a cute face it can make up for most other issues. My big thing is finding someone that enjoys the things I do. I don't want to be in a relationship where she hates everything I do and we are basically just sharing a space together. | |
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| What are we doing?
Posted: 4/28/2009 6:28:47 AM | | I think after we get a certain age first off we grow up and with doing that we look at someone as more of a potential partner instead of just a piece of as s........... | |
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| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 4/28/2009 8:22:19 AM | | I feel the complete opposite! In my 20's I was very picky about who I'd date. Now that I'm 30, I find myself thinking things like, "It doesn't matter how annoying he is....at least he's interested!" | |
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| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 4/28/2009 5:18:13 PM |
I feel the complete opposite! In my 20's I was very picky about who I'd date. Now that I'm 30, I find myself thinking things like, "It doesn't matter how annoying he is....at least he's interested!"
After reading your profile I am interested. Surprised more aren't. | |
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| What are we doing?
Posted: 4/28/2009 7:28:44 PM | Women do not become more picky, they will crave the same imaginary guy at 30 that they did at twenty.
Men do not become more picky, at 30 they will still crave the same hot 20 year old that they did at twenty. | |
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| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 5/21/2009 1:21:47 AM | I think it's probably that as we get older we tend to think more on how getting involved with someone at this stage in our lives could affect us in more profound ways than when we were younger. When we were younger, we didn't think about things like future, credit scores, home equity, children, etc. Or at least we didn't consider such things when getting involved with someone else and how that could affect such things in our lives. In some ways it's because of those things that we put up some sort of emotional barriers that prevent us from opening up to the possibility of getting involved. Perhaps a bad experience or two in our lives also contribute to our hesitancy to get involved. In many ways it's purely psychological, and mostly our hangup.
After a bad situation in my past, the best relationship advice I've ever had in my life came suprisingly from 'Dr. Phill', who once wrote "Get Over It!" | |
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