| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 5/21/2009 11:30:17 AM | | I think we get pickier because when we are in our 20's we are out to have fun. When we get older we are looking for "love", and someone to settle down with... | |
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| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 5/22/2009 12:29:55 AM | [qutoe]I think we get pickier because when we are in our 20's we are out to have fun. When we get older we are looking for "love", and someone to settle down with...
Speak for yourself, i was wanting to settle down with someone in my 20's. 
As for being picky, i don't think i am, i just don't want to repeat past mistakes. | |
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| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 5/22/2009 2:31:44 AM | Picky? Hmm, I think WISER is a better word for it. In my 20s, I was pretty naive, I believed "love was everything" and to give what seemed like sincere women a fair shake. two decades later, and being a single dad, there is MORE than just myself to think about, like avoiding "Evil step-mother syndrome", as well as women that are hell bent on fighting about everything and "professional leavers". While I have more than screwed the pooch as it were with my own life, I am sure not going to make my daughter's life a living hell just to satiate my own selfish needs. When it comes to my criteria, it is ALL or NOTHING. I'm just fine as is if need be.
She don't have to be perfect, she just has to be perfect for my daughter and I. | |
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| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 5/22/2009 11:18:52 PM | Because we've finally realized that changing for someone just isn't going to work. And we have a better idea now, of what kind of people are generally not healthy for us.
A funny realization that recently occurred to me: I'm a pretty conservative person, in many respects. However, for the most part, "Conservative" women wouldn't give me the time of day! LOL | |
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| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 5/23/2009 7:46:10 AM | | im pickier because i make good money dont have any kids or baggage. and at 31 id rather be by myself then with some one who makes me miserable | |
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| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 5/23/2009 1:30:51 PM | I've never used this forum before but this caught my attention. I am 30 but I started when I was 29. I guess I got picky now because every girl I talk to with the intention of being more than friends I try to envision them being so much more than just a girl friend. I also don't want a girl who may try to take advantage of me in any way. I don't make good money but its more than enough to live off of and have a nice car a motorcycle and have some left over to blow on whatever. I don't want a girl to date and pretend to be my perfect girl. The first day she asks me to by her something i get worried and if she never offers to pay for anything that draws a red flag. I dont mind paying for everything if her loyalty to me has been proven to me.
Attitude I feel is the most important, people they know and their haunting past that won't go way can also be a factor of being picky. | |
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| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 5/24/2009 12:24:44 AM | There's no doubt that Hell is repetition, but the idea that dating someone with qualities of a former unsuccessful relationship will have the same end result is just nonsense, everyone's different and the future is what you BOTH make of it... not to mention people change.
I'm actually finding it quite upsetting to see this very clear shift in attitudes towards dating after 30. It's as if people are gripped with this old-fashioned fear that time is running out and you'll have to find someone to settle down with or you're doomed to walk the earth alone. Ask the average 30-something what they're looking for and they'll tell you all the things they DON'T want instead. You can't approach dating from the perspective that each person you meet has to meet the criteria of someone you'll spend the rest of your life with. Not only does it take time to make that assessment, but the fact of the matter is that not every date or relationship is meant to last forever... at any age. | |
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| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 5/24/2009 12:44:27 AM |
You can't approach dating from the perspective that each person you meet has to meet the criteria of someone you'll spend the rest of your life with. Not only does it take time to make that assessment, but the fact of the matter is that not every date or relationship is meant to last forever... at any age.
AMEN, brother!
It always amazes me just how rigid and anal so many folks are in this respect.  | |
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| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 5/24/2009 4:07:07 AM | Because we can be picky - thats why? First time round we let the heart rule the head, once bitten by divorce, we smarten up lots and lots and very quickly.
Love is a game to be played, its about who gets what when you split, soooooooooooo there is no point getting together with someone who has less money than you, cos you going to have to pay them off, and they got to have the same home set up or they going to walk off with half of yours without having put a penny into it.
May sound a bit synical but it is in fact the truth and it does matter, a guy/girl takes you out on a date, he/she buys one cup of coffee and then wants to stay the night and move in next day, phew, no chance - you all must find it the same.
In my case men tend to be turned off when they want to move in, and I suggest we start looking for a property to buy equally, - Of course I am then a selfish B*itch and deserve to be single for the rest of my life 
Learning Disability - mmmmmm interesting thought on dating, most of them have the right idea, "cant be doing with men/women too much fuss"  | |
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| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 5/24/2009 4:20:24 AM | | I believe the reason why we get some picky after 30 is because we are no longer looking to date/flirt/club/bar hop but we are more thinking of the future, possibility of engagement/marriage/kids etc.... at least that is the shoes that I am in. I am looking for someone to get married to, have kids and start a family with. That is why I'm so picky, i wont go into details but I went to a pub with 2 of my guy friends this past weekend and could have had a 3some with a girl that had a 9/10 body but I am not into that anymore, I just aint, i have NO RESPECT for a woman that sleeps with a man after only knowing them for a few hours. | |
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| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 5/25/2009 1:13:55 AM | OK! After seeing that response, forget about what I wrote earlier.
I'm picky because I don't want to end up with someone who thinks love is about who gets what when we split up. I'm attracted to women who hate marriage and/or love prenuptial agreements. I'm also attracted to the ability to keep 100% of the stuff -I- bought. Jeez! | |
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| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 5/25/2009 8:42:58 PM | What has made me picky is self-preservation - out of fear of being hurt again. I lived for years in a half dead marriage, because I believed in "til death do us part," and was married to him for 34 years. Now, since that one did not work, what makes me think another would? I live in the eternal hope that I will somehow be wiser in choosing. | |
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| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 5/25/2009 9:16:18 PM | | Well, why am I picky? Because what I want has not changed. But I'd be ignoring reality to say that what I want will be harder to find with each passing year. Unless I am willing to make concessions on kids/body type/marital status, I must face the possibility of being alone or worse yet, settling. | |
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| What are we doing?
Posted: 5/26/2009 5:52:03 PM | | 'Cause if we were lucky enough to meet that special someone in our 20s, we either grew together, in ways that were complimentary to or compatible with each other, or we grew apart. And if we grew together, then we wouldn't be here, and therefore would have no idea what your ? is asking. But if we either 1-did not meet that certain person, or 2-met them and grew apart from them, then now , in our 30s, we have grown and evolved into much more than the folks we were in our 20s (I hope!) and therefore we have longer "shopping lists". | |
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| What are we doing?
Posted: 5/26/2009 6:29:59 PM | I think I would have been more likely to settle down in my 20's than I would now in my mid 30's. In my late 20's, I believed I was supposed to meet my knight in shining armor and run off with him to be happy forever. As I get older, I'm more content just being with myself, family & friends.
It was more difficult on my mother as she's very traditional and wanted to me have a family. I sometimes felt like I was being selfish for not wanting children but I just can't see myself raising them. | |
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| What are we doing?
Posted: 5/26/2009 6:36:30 PM | dating at 34 (well 35 now)
sometimes i dont know what to say,
course other times what i say shys people away.
I wonder at times is dating at thirty four
a hassle, is what i seek a fantasy, a lore?
guy friends say i'm too picky, girl friends say not picky enough
i say there is no reason for everyone to think this is so tough.
I keep on smiling, well cause damn i love my life.
I know the universe made me a man and i am his wife.
so here i am in this process,
which at times is such a mess.
and then there are the ones who entertain
even some who bore me with meek and mundane
But mostly this all just passes the time
While i wait, for the man that is mine.
so what else can you do? LOL! | |
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| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 5/26/2009 8:48:02 PM | | Interesting perspective. I love being in my 30s. I like my body more now because I take care of it better. I have baggage that I've learned from so it's more like "experience" than naive 20 year old me and I now know what makes me happier than I did in the "let's just see what happens" 20s. I also appreciate things more now so my time is just more valuable. If I am going to spend time with someone, more thought goes into it now because it's limited. I think it's never a good idea to be stuck in your ways...if you want a relationship then be more open minded and comprimise. Don't settle but be flexible and open to experiences. :) | |
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| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 5/26/2009 9:42:59 PM | My pickiness consists of 3 essentials:
1. must have a decent job and wage
2. must be very cute (I love gorgeous men, sorry, my bad!) ;)
3. must be an excellent kisser and into things I am into sexually (chemistry must match)
I am not looking for blemishes that everyone has. Life is all about learning from our mistakes. As long as we learn, it's all good. | |
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| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 8/10/2009 8:31:10 PM | | For me the reason is simple. I've done most of what i'd set out to do. Money wise no, but woman wise yes. Been there done that. Most all of my dreams are fulfilled. | |
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| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 8/11/2009 12:50:36 AM | When we are 20 we feel we have entire life ahead of us, and it's OK to take our time studying and exploring. Even if it's clear to you that you don't want to spend the rest of your life with the person, you don't mind sticking around just a little longer.
When we're 30 were've explored a bit. Not like we know all the answers, but at least we have some idea of what works for us and what doesn't.
Our emotional scars are much older than you think. Only when you're 20 you're much better at not noticing them. | |
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| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 8/11/2009 12:54:33 AM | | I've found women over 30 seem to of went to the other extreme. They maybe weren't picky enough when they were younger but now when they're older they over compensate. I also notice women over 30 seem to look at personality less and are actually more shallow in some ways than 20something women. | |
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| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 8/11/2009 4:32:02 AM | People take things learned from past relationships, good and bad, and adjust their personal standards and values. Some refuse to lower them, and some are willing to compromise, and then there are those who totally throw their standards out the window for fear of being alone.
If you are not willing to comprommise, more than likely you will be alone until Mr/Mrs Perfect shows up. Those willing to compromise, will find Mr/Mrs Right....who will turn into Perfect....and those who toss em....well, call them Samsonite....cause they are going to have a truck full of baggage. | |
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