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| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 8/12/2009 6:58:45 AM | | Hi, I read a article in lavalife about dating after 30 & it helped me understand. I think it makes several valid points & makes u think about your goals & whats your willing to settle for. | |
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| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 8/12/2009 4:10:39 PM | You take your experiences from the relationships that you have had in the past, and your expectations of who you want to be with become MUCH more defined. I know what I want...Just haven't found them yet. | |
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| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 8/13/2009 10:41:22 PM | | I think it's a revenge thing (I'm half-kidding.) I'm 39, and I now keep my hair short ('cause I've got less of it.) I'm the same athletic person I ever was, but hair is SOOOOO important to women (most women.) If they're going to be so picky about that, than it's like I owe it to myself to be picky, too. Of course, in the end, it won't matter when I meet that special someone, but it has prevented me from meeting so many new people. It's too bad! Why ladies would deny themselves the luxury of experience, wisdom, and pacing (lol,) just for some hair is beyond me. | |
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| What are we doing?
Posted: 8/16/2009 9:56:55 PM | | I wasted my 20's so now as I near 40, I am more cautious about wasting time and effort. You can't just swing away. As a more mature person, you can now assess and make better choices. | |
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| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 8/21/2009 6:57:28 PM | "How come we all get so picky after 30?"
Because young love is dumb love. (No offense to the young folks out here, but just ask your elders. You'll be elders too one day, then you'll know.) Who the hell knows anything when they're young about relationships? Why do you think Generals in the military tend to be over 40? Battle scars. There's no substitute for experience. | |
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| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 8/23/2009 3:58:09 PM | | It’s funny. People are more cautious and selective in their 40s because they no longer want to waste their time. On the other hand, they have the craziest expectations and complain years later that they can’t meet anyone. Isn’t it like an oxymoron? | |
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| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 8/23/2009 6:08:27 PM | mainly because we are afraid of getting burned again. But here's the rub...you are going to get burns regardless, so learn which ones you can live with.
Ever been around welders? They get burned daily...but they adjust. Just stop freaking out over every little burn you get. Just watch out for the life threatening ones. | |
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| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 8/25/2009 6:10:25 AM | | I can understand how anyone can be picky, but by reading some of the profiles of the women on here you would think that they are waiting for their prince charming on a white horse to show up on their doorstep. For example one i seen recently stated... must have all their hair, must have a masters degree, never been married, at least 6 feet tall, must be close to their family, must attend church, must like arts, own their own home, travels frequently, must like cats, must want kids, no serious relationships in the last two years, must be athletic, on and on and they wonder why they are 37 and still single and never married...and they continue to whine about it too. What a joke. | |
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| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 8/25/2009 8:13:33 AM | | Very true amusing_guy I've noticed the exact same thing. It seems like once a woman gets into her late 20's she's waiting for the perfect guy to come along. Meaning she's single for a reason. | |
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| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 8/25/2009 8:46:32 AM | | I agree amusing_guy. I find that if I put all sorts of restrictions on what I want then what I get isn't what I wanted to begin with. | |
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| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 8/26/2009 11:33:42 PM | I think in terms of looks, people tend to be less picky after 30. I think after 30, you're thinking less flings & more true-dating-potential because you realize you're not going to be relatively young forever... so one's personality is more important. Couple that with not wanting to get burned, and you have a higher per capita of people who want to "get to know someone first". And of course, couple that with wanting to avoid naive mistakes at all cost, and you get more people bolting at the sight of any potential red flags before they'd genuinely appear.
And of course, you have some people who've been in bad relationships and are stupid-high on "I won't settle for anything less than I deserve!" with a chest-beating mentality, thinking they're the greatest thing since sliced bread (because they were depressed about themselves before). In situations of that nature, nothing will satisfy them.
... or, for women, when in good shape, they have the best of both worlds and just love people shopping. They're a cougar to the young ones, a good commodity for their age group, and a hot young lady to those who are older. | |
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| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 8/27/2009 12:07:04 PM | A very true comment.... But i still need to be attracted to them, and the inside counts vwery much to me  my sole mate must be out there somewhere.. | |
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| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 8/27/2009 12:10:31 PM | ... or, for women, when in good shape, they have the best of both worlds and just love people shopping. They're a cougar to the young ones, a good commodity for their age group, and a hot young lady to those who are older.
This can be a curse though for attractive 30+ women if they don't keep their feet planted firmly on the ground. | |
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| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 8/30/2009 1:59:24 AM | | i don't think that "picky" is the right word. IMO it's more about having figured out through both good and bad experiences what works for us and what doesn't. in our teens and 20's we embrace situations and people who might not be the best fit -- it's just part of the process of exploring and figuring out how to define ourselves. by our 30's we're a bit older, wiser, and perhaps more jaded. we've learned not to settle, not to think that we can change a partner who doesn't make us happy, and we've learned our own personal value. i don't think it's about wanting "perfection", but rather about finding a person who is perfect for us -- that does not mean flawless, but rather someone we can truly connect with both emotionally & physically, someone who's willing to be a fully contributing partner & grow with us. don't we all deserve that kind of love in our lives? | |
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| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 8/30/2009 6:08:30 AM | The answer to this question I think is quiet simple. We are no longer looking to just get layed or to date but we are looking for something long term that would potentially ultimately lead to marriage / children & family life. I am in the same shoes right now. I have been with the same girl for 3 years, 2 days ago would have been our 4 year anniversary but she suddenly broke up with me after talkign about marriage, moving in together, having kids.
Now I am also super picky because the next girl I meet I would like to marry.
I have also given up on trying to meet someone from here, I only come on pof for fun now as I find there are tons of serial daters on here, people that date like 5-10 people at the same time. | |
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| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 8/31/2009 12:17:50 AM | | It seem to me that most people are undateable nor are they marriage material because of a emotional shield that they hold up due to a past relationship. | |
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| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 8/31/2009 10:28:46 PM | Im picky because I know what will work for me and what won´t, Lord knows Ive had enough trial and error. Im tired and Im not taking any more crap from anybody.......
Plain and simple as that......... lol | |
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| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 9/1/2009 6:13:26 AM | I think because we've been through enough experiances in our lives that we have more of a general idea of what we DO & do NOT want when seeking a potential partner.
If I knew now what I knew then in my 20's I would've saved myself a lot of anguish & heartache.
Yet, I do believe everything happens for a reason, so you grow from it and learn not to make the same mistakes and/or regrets later on down the road.
We are better, stronger & WISER people for it, so over time I think we are somewhat entitled to be a bit more pickier as we get older.
No one should have to settle, yet one should learn to compromise..it's a fine line we learn how to work into our personal lives, with friendships & relationships.
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| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 9/1/2009 12:01:32 PM | I actually think I'm a lot less picky than I used to be...mainly because of my dating experiences and the fact that I wanted to be open to more chances. However I do still have a few things that are for me pretty much set in stone at this point in my life
1. distance....they can't be more than a couple hrs drive....anything over that is long distance and I have tried and they have never worked.
2. this is the only major physical part....as I have really only gone out with one woman who I and pretty much everyone around me thought was very attractive....they can't weigh more than 170...I'm not into bigger women. I don't mean this as an insult or anything as I have dated women that are bigger than that. I'm just looking for someone that is a little smaller.
3. They can't have more than 2 children. I was raised in a small family and am not looking to be part of a huge family. I would still like a kid too...so if the choice is "does not want anymore kids" then it's not going to work. I mean if I don't have any ok...but the option must at least be there.
Everything else is pretty much open. If it works out great...if not that's cool. | |
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| How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 9/2/2009 3:27:09 AM | Because after 30 most of us have done our fair share of dating, and maybe been through a divorce, and have found what wont work for us. THus narrowing drastically what will work.
No point in moving backwards, so being picky is smart in my opinion. | |
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