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| why is it that most gals dont respond back when u im them??
Posted: 6/18/2006 3:01:58 PM | | I accept most IM'S just to give the person a chance, althougth I am not there for someone's instant gratification. If I can't get a decent conversation through an IM, then there is no need for me to waste my time. If on the other hand, a decent conversation is achieved, who knows, maybe then we can move on to other conversations or whatever happens. | |
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| why is it that most gals dont respond back when u im them??
Posted: 6/18/2006 9:20:16 PM | I think the main reason is that they are likely involved IMing someone else at the time, or involved in writing an email or responding to an email and don't want to be interrupted.
(I sure don't) - if I am in a conversation on IM and I receive another IM while involved in messaging someone there is nothing I can do except close the incoming IM...they can send an email instead and usually do.
Also, I do not respond to IMs unless I have already emailed them a note in the past...or they have emailed me. I do not respond to IMs from people who I have not yet connected with. I don't have time to stop everything I am doing and go read their profile and make some determination if I do or do not want to communicate. I would imagine it is the same way with the women.
OP if you are questioning why no response to your request for IM from women who you have not connected with even emailed first - then, uh...duh. Hey it's OK...I am all about asking dumb questions. There are a couple very good answers for ya.
It would be my expectation that most people -- men or women -- would not respond to an incoming IM from anyone that they are not familar with first.
That's pretty much a no-brainer.
Next! | |
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| why is it that most gals dont respond back when u im them??
Posted: 6/19/2006 1:14:10 AM | | as for me not that im picky.. but the im's bug me a lot.. sumtimes im doing sumthin else.. n then sumbody im's me and it interrupts what i was doing because the lil window is annoyin.. thats why everytime sumone hits me up with the im i close it right away.. | |
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| why is it that most gals dont respond back when u im them??
Posted: 6/19/2006 11:47:40 AM | I've always figured it was human nature to want to pick who you talk to. If someone writes you first you are naturally a little hesitant and quickly become picky. There are gals that IM and write me and I don't respond. Why even bother if you are not interested? If someone gets all butt-hurt over a complete stranger not writing back, then they have issues. I'm sure those girls that are ignoring our chats and emails are pretty damn cute and able to have their pick of the litter. They also probably have tons of guys writing them so they have to ignore the ones that don't jump out. If you don't jump out at her, then forget her and move on to the next.  | |
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| why is it that most gals dont respond back when u im them??
Posted: 6/19/2006 2:14:53 PM | | It definitely depends on who you choose to IM. The ones most guys choose are probably in the 90th percentile in looks. And since there are tons of guys on here, all IMing and messaging the same 10% of girls, you are basically playing the lottery. I only answer about 1 in 4 random messages i get. I would imagine women get plenty more mail than we do. Just be patient. You also have to set yourself apart from others if you message them. You gotta say something different from the "hey, your hot" variety. Good Luck! | |
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| why is it that most gals dont respond back when u im them??
Posted: 6/19/2006 8:30:26 PM | UNIQUE GUY, I think the reason most girls don't IM back is because of the way guys act on IM. For a perfect example, read what 'foolforgods' wrote to you as a response. He put women down, and called them retarded. I happen to have a sister who is retarded, and find his remark completely and totally disrespectful. It is because of totally disrespectful men like him that I will no longer accept IM's from strangers. That is a shame, because I hoped to enjoy the IM feature freely. As for other reasons, I know that every answer on this forum is a good one. Except the above one.
I am glad that disrespectful men are themselves however, only in the sense that they show their true colors so easily. I have been verbally abused more than once in IM. Once a guy began a very sarcastic IM tone b/c I asked for a photo. This someone had proclaimed on his profile 'that I would be amazed at how nice he is'. Another guy went completely psycho b/c I asked him for a photo. These dating websites even tell you to ask for a photo if one is not posted. Do you think I'll ever freely roam profiles without photo's again?
Men, please understand this. Women are simply not your punching bags. If you've had a hard day at work, please know that maybe we did too. I have never put anyone down in anyway on a personal level, and expect to be treated likewise. I could care less if you can't spell. I would want to see you have a good heart toward women, and can show that you have some conversational skills that display a sincere interest in the woman you are pursuing. Most of the guys that have IM'd me say they read my profile, but they are far from what I was asking for. They have acted pushily and belittled me. I have gone to bed a few times very shaken from this. This is completely unacceptable behavior from grown men that are trying to get into relationships. Yes, getting sex is a relationship too. If I were looking for sex, I'd still want a decent guy.
To wrap this up, after two months of reading hundreds of profiles, putting a lot of hard work into finding the right man for me, and spending countless hours in IM, not spending that time with my precious pets and other interests, or eating dinner at the right hour, I conclude that it is not worth it to respond to IM's. And I will publicly say sorry to all you nice guys that are paying for this because of the disrespectful or insincere ones. Because I truly wanted to make more friends along the way. So, as parting words, and as many already responded, you must email the girl and tell her sincerely what you like about her and count the ways to her that you are the right guy for her. You can't go wrong. God bless u, even the ones who were so mean! | |
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| why is it that most gals dont respond back when u im them??
Posted: 6/19/2006 9:37:01 PM | Aside from the fact that 9 out of 10 people are not even close to right for each other, I think it is also because a lot of gals **do** see this like a "man catalogue", as if they were looking for the perfect pair of shoes or something. They believe that if they just hold out long enough, they are going to be contacted by a man who is incredibly handsome, is thoroughly impressed by every little thing about them, is 6 feet tall, has a fascinating big $$$ career, half a dozen exciting hobbies, is a world traveler, is an accomplished dancer, a love of children/pets/gardening/take your pick here, has absolutely no history before that moment, and will fall in love with them at first sight.
Unlike this loveable but totally immature fantasy, the real world does not usuall just drop good things in your lap like that. Usually, the real world demands you meet it halfway, with a little trust, faith, and effort. Even in the Bible (not that I am all that religious), God made people **work** for it. Noah had to spend years building an ark. Joseph endured slavery. Prophets were ridculed and stoned. Moses had to courageously go back in front of Pharoah more than ten times. David had to face Goliath with a slingshot. Nothing was just handed to them in an instant message from God.
Maybe a lesson here for BOTH sexes seeking that "perfect" mate they have never even met. | |
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| why is it that most gals dont respond back when u im them??
Posted: 6/19/2006 10:28:13 PM | | The gentleman is correct and you should communicate to the rest of your socially disfunctional retards that we are fed up with their behavior and should all in mass exodus(and I mean the men on this site) remove our profiles and leave you and the rest of your disrespectful B's to your own simple-minded devices. The guy is as most of us just intolerant of the unusually rude behavior by the b's on this site. He is just one who grew a set of balls today. | |
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| why is it that most gals dont respond back when u im them??
Posted: 6/20/2006 12:50:16 AM | I didn't really mean it with a lot of anger, blurpeeb. 
I'm just saying that some women , through their own clinging to this Cinderella fairy tale, are interfering with their own happiness (and ours, as well). If you check my profile, you see I am not exactly Charles Manson or a selfish moron, yet no luck here at all!
There are 8 million males in Southern California. Why believe there is "only one" you could be happy with? As for "love at first sight", it's not love! It's called sexual attraction. How can you **love*** someone you just laid eyes on? That's silly! It's just a nice, fuzzy hormone rush, and if that is love then I have already beeen "in love" with a hundred women since puberty! 
Back to the original topic of IMs, though. Women don't like it because you didn't work hard enough. It's like growing a woman a flower versus just buying her one. Which do you think she'll like better? They want to feel special, and a carefully composed e-mail should be better that way than an IM.
Not that carefully composed e-mails are doing me any damn good. I'm not getting ANY dates on here, so why should anybody listen to me?  | |
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| why is it that most gals dont respond back when u im them??
Posted: 6/20/2006 1:20:43 AM | I think you hit it right on the head when saying girls are very or too picky.
When they don't reply you can't help but take it personal, physically and then maybe you're older than what they want, it could be anything.
I think it would be nice if out of pure manners they said anything.
Sergio | |
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| why is it that most gals dont respond back when u im them??
Posted: 6/20/2006 8:41:53 AM | I joined one sight and said I was 6 feet tall, and a lottery winner, just to see what would happen. I didn't change one other thing about myself.
Man, I got all kinds of positive responses!!! Great-looking women suddenly wanted to meet me.
In reality, I am 5'4" and a federal worker. I never e-mail a woman taller than me, anyway.
It was just an experiment, and I deleted that account after just a week, but it showed me what many women are really looking for, despite all that bullshit they shovel about sincerity, and character, and blah, blah, blah.
It was very sad to find this out, really shattered my romantic illusions.  | |
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| why is it that most gals dont respond back when u im them??
Posted: 6/20/2006 10:34:56 AM | | Well uniqueguy_81, the one major thing I've seen so far is that you tend to post in Internet shorthand. I know I can't stand it and would likely ignore a lady that messaged me like that. It makes it difficult to read unless you are used to it since everyone abbreviates differently. So next time, take a little extra time and, type it all out. Also run spell check before sending allot of ladies I've talked to are picky about your grammar and spelling as well. | |
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| why is it that most gals dont respond back when u im them??
Posted: 6/20/2006 1:02:05 PM | I'm on-line at work. At first I did not know how the IM worked!! LOL Being new to the whole internet dating system... I would get these IM's popping up in the middle of me trying to assist a client over the phone and could not respond to them and for the most part I felt bad but some of the guys were pretty vulger and rude... It didn't take me long to figure out how to disable it LOL!! I like the messaging format.... For me it gives me time to look at the indeviduals profile and really think through what I really want to say before responding!!
Barbie | |
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| why is it that most gals dont respond back when u im them??
Posted: 6/20/2006 1:10:08 PM |
I joined one sight and said I was 6 feet tall, and a lottery winner, just to see what would happen. I didn't change one other thing about myself.
Man, I got all kinds of positive responses!!! Great-looking women suddenly wanted to meet me.
Unfortunately, that's the way it goes a lot of the time. While a woman wants a sincere, loving, driven man...height and money will weigh heavily with looks a close second. But that's what all women want, security and a good looking man along with the other characteristics they express.
In their defense, guys are the same way, but with looks because even though it is the 21st century, we still play the provider in many relationships, so money doesn't matter. For example, I love sweet, innocent, funny girls, but looks play a huge part in whether I want to talk to a girl or not, and I believe that is the case with most. If you aren't the same, more power to you, but I can't conjure up attraction like a spell. | |
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| why is it that most gals dont respond back when u im them??
Posted: 6/20/2006 2:02:36 PM | i know that if youve got your old high school prom/grad pic up from the late 1970's, your definitly doomed, other than that, 80% love the attention, 10% are desperate, and 10% realy want to meet a cool down to earth or up in the clouds type a guy! just a ballpark guess, GOOD LUCK ON YOUR HUNT!!! | |
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| why is it that most gals dont respond back when u im them??
Posted: 6/20/2006 4:45:05 PM | | Whoa, can I jump in! I have to say I don't respond to most becuase of the approach. In my pofile it says very clearly "I DON'T RESPOND TO PET NAMES" I think it's shallow "You have georgeous lips, hi sexy" all that crap. If I girl wants things like that she can go to the local bar and get cat calls all night. I want to know about a person before I just start chating. | |
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| why is it that most gals dont respond back when u im them??
Posted: 6/20/2006 6:01:52 PM | | I don't Im people or respond to IM's unless we've had a couple messages back and forth - and that's from a male perspective. If I were female, there is no way in hell I would answer an IM from 99% of the population. I have a feeling that almost all of the IM's from an unknown person are oriented towards a one night stand - and why answer that? | |
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| why is it that most gals dont respond back when u im them??
Posted: 6/20/2006 6:07:57 PM | Yeah I think a lot of girls are like that... just want to see how many guys would want to hook up with them... it feeds their arrogance. I dont think like that though. I swear! ... I hope lol
And a little bit of advice to you Jose, write something in your messages that make it stand out. It doesn't have to be long (actually, it's probably better if it's not too long). Just make it something that's different and shows your interested.
My favorite message a guy ever wrote to me on this site simply said, "You must be too food for me." | |
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| why is it that most gals dont respond back when u im them??
Posted: 6/21/2006 2:45:20 PM | dogar2007 just described me to the "T" only he forgot to add that i'm an athlete, I play several musical instruments, and my socks match. 
But seriously... have you ever thought what it would be like to be an attractive woman on these dating sites?
My good female friend said that she would get hit up by several dozen of IMs and around 60-70 emails a day. She is EXTREMELY attractive said that she received 30 emails in the 1st 2 hours of posting her profile. Every guy from all walks of life emailed her. Some of the lame things she would receive is "Hey you're cute, you're beautiful, I liked your profile, do you want to go out with me?, and her favorite of all time...... I'm a CEO of a fortune 500 company!... etc...."
Imagine getting hit with 50 emails saying the same crap over and over. Then when she signed on she would get non-stop IMs so she just turned off the feature cuz it was annoying.
You have to be unique when you hit up women on this site because to them its just like recieving junk mail in their mail box.... they just delete. Its also kind of like being approached by a bum... your instant reaction is.... umm... what does this creep want? Go away!!!
You are better off emailing them with a witty and eye catching comment in the subject line. Or work out and show off your abs cuz that always works too... much like how girls like to dance with each other at the clubs for male attention.
-B | |
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