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 red_riot21
Joined: 2/28/2006
Msg: 51
No Games? Bullshit.Page 3 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
Alright rockabilly, hon cool your jets. I didn't say I've ever stood someone up, but I have cancelled last minute. You're absolutely right - it is less painless for me. I tried it your way this week - was very frank - said I'm sorry I don't feel any chemistry, I had a nice time, but thanks I don't want to go on another date... And what did I get for my troubles??? A pseudo breakup scenerio with someone I barely knew!!! I haven't cancelled to avoid looking rude, I've cancelled to avoid a bad date, or being pressured into something I didn't feel comfortable with yet. And who says I have to be brave all the time?? I'll chicken out or just not feel like putting in the effort if I darn well please. Maybe that means I risk missing meeting an amazing man, or maybe I'll just miss another akward date to add to the growing pile. Lighten up.

And by the way - no animals were harmed or shots fired in the making of this rant.
 drrilll
Joined: 7/21/2005
Msg: 52
No Games? Bullshit.
Posted: 3/29/2006 1:43:31 AM
Haha, never brushed someone off here, but yeah, if my friend is being too pushy for something I don't want to do, I can argue, I can cave, or I can lie. And I'll lie. If you won't listen or accept any answer but what you want to hear, then you have it coming. I don't feel bad or guilty, since I am perfectly willing to tell the truth if it weren't for the fact that someone may want to make it a contest of wills. Fine, you are more willful, I'll settle for elusive and a peaceful night. You win, enjoy your victory alone. Its just too much headache to get into an argument just for wanting to stay home sometime, or to do something that you don't. To the brushoff!!
 will_nevergiveup
Joined: 1/10/2006
Msg: 53
No Games? Bullshit.
Posted: 3/29/2006 1:55:35 AM
I try to lay it out on the line pretty early on. It's a courtesy thing. Sorry to hear you're having such a hard time with the gals.
 Strider886
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 54
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History
No Games? Bullshit.
Posted: 3/29/2006 3:49:33 AM
I'd agree with the 2nd and 3rd post.... "pursuing more than one option".
Forget them and move on!
I've been in a relationship where my gf was talking to creeps on the internet, these guys were blatantly after sex (after getting a sneaky peak at the chat logs) and were putting on all the charms, it was sickening to see.
They would "joke" sometimes about offering sex and she'd joke back, trouble is theyre not joking.....

I found out that she had one of them around to help her with some computer problems after she moved in with a friend, as far as i know nothing happend, but she went cold on me. I made some assumptions and put an end to the whole thing.

Theres no way I can compete when im seeing her 2 or 3 times a week and these guys are talking to her everyday, even into the small hours of the morning.

If you get even a hint of someone "pursuing more than one option", just save yourself a lot of pain and don't bother.
 MajorTom
Joined: 11/10/2005
Msg: 55
No Games? Bullshit.
Posted: 3/29/2006 3:13:50 PM
Can someone explain the harshness of all this? Meeting and dating someone shouldn't be this difficult; too many rules, too many conditions. I must suffer the third degree to meet and date an attractive woman; regardless of how shy she pretends to be?

I recently began chatting with someone and in the course of trying to get her to lighten up she slams the door and blocks me! Nothing vulgar mind you! Just trying to get her to tell me why she is such a cold fish on first dates; no kissing, no hand holding nor any hugs? I wonder if she is a woman I should be persuing? Many out there are more than willing to give me a hug or a kiss; could it be the forbidden fruit aspect? Am I crazy for even bothering? I do enjoy engimas!
 ssweet2293
Joined: 8/6/2005
Msg: 56
No Games? Bullshit.
Posted: 3/29/2006 3:23:07 PM
Have you ever thought the reason why they back out is because they are not really the person they protrayed? People sometimes are not honest on the internet.
 Strider886
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 57
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No Games? Bullshit.
Posted: 3/29/2006 3:54:40 PM
I'd agree to that, you can be whoever you want to be on the internet.
 luvminstrels
Joined: 2/22/2006
Msg: 58
No Games? Bullshit. -- And a question about Destiny thrown in!
Posted: 3/29/2006 5:24:32 PM
I agree about the harshness of this thread. The whole thread has gotten very harsh, and I'm sure it has to do with touchy feelings about being stood up and insecurities that go along with that.

I have found that people have a really hard time being very honest with someone about not wanting to be with them--for whatever reason. It is just easier for them to bail out at the last minute, or to ignore them altogether, than be honest and say they have changed their minds and don't want to risk meeting or being with you.

It's kind of a sad state of affairs when people are afraid to be honest--I'd much rather someone be completely honest with me, and tell me upfront that they don't want to meet, or date, or whatever, than ignore or leave me hanging. I think we all would rather have that kind of honesty.

But someone in the thread further up said that internet dating is a farce. It makes me wonder: if we are destined to be with someone, and our Fates are bound to cross, will they cross on the Internet, or do we have to meet in person for Destiny to take over? Kismet and Karma and Destiny -- do they have to have our physical presence to be intertwined??

Just a thought---
 Catwm
Joined: 3/1/2006
Msg: 59
No Games? Bullshit. -- And a question about Destiny thrown in!
Posted: 3/30/2006 7:04:12 AM
luvminstrels...I agree...sad state of affairs...I remember my first online date and was positively sick over his appearance when we finally met....instead of having the guts to tell him face to face about the deceit of his profile and photos, I ate dinner and drove home sick to my stomach, I did write him an email and was then candid about the fact that he had lied and I was not interested....why cant people just be truthful and let each other know they are not attracted to one another or not interested?
 Dolly54
Joined: 5/4/2005
Msg: 60
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No Games? Bullshit.
Posted: 4/1/2006 9:05:39 AM
I've never replied to one of these postings. What I think is sad is that you think you've never met a nice, honest, caring good woman. I am older than you (68) and while I have met some men that fall into the rotten category, I have met many more who are decent, wholesome, honest and caring. Could it be that you gravitate to the wrong kind of woman? It may be that you have to change your thinking on the kind of woman you should seek to meet and get to know.
I'm speaking up for women in general because we don't derserve to be thought of as 99.7% of us being bad. If you want to talk percentages, I believe that at least 80% of us are good women, and you should give women another chance.
Maybe you bring out the worst in the women you've met? Have you considered that? That does happen you know. It's happened to me once or twice.
Try again and I wish you good luck.
 Catwm
Joined: 3/1/2006
Msg: 61
No Games? Bullshit.
Posted: 4/1/2006 3:31:42 PM
Again. People should just be honest...why is that so hard? Either there is a connection or not, an attraction or not, a possibility or not....life is too short for us to waste each others time by "playing the dating games".
 rwedonealready
Joined: 11/4/2005
Msg: 62
No Games? Bullshit.
Posted: 4/4/2006 5:03:18 AM
It's a crapshoot.

You hope for honesty and then get slammed....

"Feel different about this - something changed that - things are out of control".

Well...if something is good, then I don't think much will change overnight.

If someone is using you or pulling your chain...I think it can go away really quickly.

IMHO
 Catwm
Joined: 3/1/2006
Msg: 63
No Games? Bullshit.
Posted: 4/4/2006 7:08:40 AM
Truth be known, there are going to be alot of lonely people out there one day....all the dishonesty will catch up to those that are " playing " and they will be old, bitter people that no one wants to be around....
 sassyvgirl
Joined: 4/2/2006
Msg: 64
No Games? Bullshit.
Posted: 4/4/2006 7:15:11 AM
catwm: I agree...it's called KARMA!
 puppyluv123
Joined: 1/9/2006
Msg: 65
No Games? Bullshit.
Posted: 4/4/2006 7:55:05 AM
Sometimes women (and maybe men) get scared and back out.

Let me give you an example. On a different dating site I had exchanged a couple of emails with this guy. Seemed like a pretty nice fellow. We decided to meet for a coffee but wanted to speak to each other on the phone first.

During the phone call I just got a weird vibe from the guy. He almost seemed a bit rude (was asking questions and not listening to my answers). I don't know what it was but some red flags went up. I was too nervous to say anything during our phone conversation but I did email him the next day and apologized and said I wouldn't be able to meet him after all. I can't honestly remember what excuse I made up.

The point is, I knew it wasn't going to be a good meeting so why put both of us through that, no games intended on my part.

So maybe this is what happened in the case of the OP, maybe the woman just got a bad feeling about something.

Don't forget too, sometimes things just happen. Everyone has lives and some have complicated lives with children, ex's, elderly parents, work.....there are lots of outside influences that would cause you to cancel a date.
 Catwm
Joined: 3/1/2006
Msg: 66
No Games? Bullshit.
Posted: 4/4/2006 10:04:18 AM
Good point puppluv123....people do have complicated lives and at least you were honest.

I had to email a few dates after meeting them, because I just could not find the guts to tell them face to face. At least I did let them know there was no interest...that is only the right thing to do.
 spice it up girl
Joined: 4/2/2006
Msg: 67
No Games? Bullshit.
Posted: 4/5/2006 12:19:31 AM
I agree mostly with the not being who she said she was comments. Maybe she thought you wouldn't actually want to meet her or whatever. Women like that make it difficult for the ones that are really looking for something real. At least she called you to tell you she was going to bail, not that it makes it better but you didn't waste your time waiting around for her to show up
 Catwm
Joined: 3/1/2006
Msg: 68
No Games? Bullshit.
Posted: 4/5/2006 10:21:10 AM
I guess its me, but, I even let those I am not interested in know....I would want someone to be honest with me....even though I cant see...
 sick of drama!
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 69
No Games? Bullshit.
Posted: 9/8/2006 8:58:39 PM
I cant stand when a woman leads me on, then bails after 2 or 3 weeks. Heck even 3-4 months! Why so they do this? I assume its because they like to use people or want to hop around & experience different guys. Thats not always fair to the "good" ones out there!
 Gabriel_S
Joined: 5/21/2006
Msg: 70
No Games? Bullshit.
Posted: 9/8/2006 9:27:26 PM
Ok, so what's the big deal here guys. Most of these women are nothing more than flakes. Be glad you found out now before you took them out to someplace expensive. I've been involved in a few dating sites and been quite succesful at it really, But ... to be totally honest, THIS particular site has more shallow flaky women (in general) than any other site I've belonged to (more than likely because it's free) ... period! Does a free meal ring a bell? Sorry ladys but this is the flat out truth like it or not.

To the guys, STOP BEING SUCH A WUSS ... lol. It's shouldn't be a big deal really, if they pull this on you even once, tell them to bugger off and simply hit the delete button. Why get upset over someones profile that you've never even met and who the hell knows if it's even thier pic you're staring at in the 1st place or a guy posing as a chick?

Yeah there's going to be women jumping all over this post telling me how wrong I am and that both sexs are guilty of this. I have this to say to you "BS...prove it". And in GENERAL, you can't because it's true!!!
 Skypony1
Joined: 9/3/2006
Msg: 71
No Games? Bullshit.
Posted: 9/15/2006 5:09:01 AM
Oooh yeah! I just got told that a guy I was dating was going to pick me up and NEVER showed up. I hate that more than anything. I told him it was over straight away. No woman would stand for it and I won't either. Needlesstosay, we are through. I really liked him too.
 very single
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 72
No Games? Bullshit.
Posted: 9/15/2006 5:49:58 AM
[I found out a long time ago that internet dating does not work no matter what anyone says , and we had to start to do things the old fasion way.]

So true! It doesn't work! I was very optimistic but the last guy was really my last. I started to detect players very quickly, after 8 months wasted on a guy who was always here while I was considering his move-in offer. Accidentally (helping my friend to set up a profile) I discovered my love was busy entertaining himself here. Now, after 3 dates, if the guy is still looking than I know its not gonna work. He should be able to give it up for a couple of days?
 Mominatrix
Joined: 7/5/2006
Msg: 73
view profile
History
No Games? Bullshit.
Posted: 9/15/2006 1:02:49 PM
Men here do the same kind of thing, get used to it.

The odd thing is, since I am always here for the forums (far more entertaining than dating...), is men will message me and I tell them I am seeing someone and want to see where it goes first, they get mad at me. For being honest! One man asked me what I was afraid of!

The only things I am afraid of, is that Ophelia Bon Bon will get in more forum posts than I do, and that appellation will one day stop thinking I am a prude.
 coca2
Joined: 2/17/2006
Msg: 74
No Games? Bullshit.
Posted: 9/15/2006 1:33:25 PM
It happens in all age groups.. I am waiting for the excuse that he was abducted by aliens and can't make it.Unreal!!! Why is it people chicken out at the last minute. If you can't come up to bat... then don't waste anyone's time.
 Lets be ourselves!
Joined: 4/17/2006
Msg: 75
No Games? Bullshit.
Posted: 9/15/2006 1:49:54 PM
It's sad but true, it's all a game. I hate games, just to let you know. As for looking for anyone, I'm NOT. Although I still get guys on my POF , for me it's just talk, not serious(mind on my schooling and son) but they STILL want to play a game...I totally had it...it's all bullshit! As positive as I am with life, nothing will let me down...as long as I know how to handle the situation ...IGNORE IT!!!
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