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| The effects of pornography on relationships
Posted: 3/21/2007 3:53:03 PM | Yes, I believe pornography definately helps out in the sex department. We all know that most relationships or marriages die down after time, so trying new things, bringing new stuff into would only help.
I don't think any women should be telling their boyfriend/husband they CAN'T look at it...I look at it or watch it all the time and if anyone were to ever tell me I COULDN'T, there would be a big problem. We're all adults...well...most of us...and shouldn't be told what we can or cannot do. | |
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| The effects of pornography on relationships
Posted: 3/21/2007 4:46:47 PM | | When I was 14 I had been with a guy for a year and it was great I had just started messing around with him, well I found out shortly after that he had been looking at porn, that made me feel like I was nothing to him, I did stay with him another year and a half, But that really did impact my selfestem at that time. It really hurt me. | |
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| The effects of pornography on relationships
Posted: 4/1/2007 12:59:18 PM | It's funny. Porn is an $18 billion a year industry that nobody likes or looks at. It's politically correct to say one does not like pornography. The internet exists and grew at the rate that it did because of the adult industry.
But people who watch pornography are no different than someone who watches, say football. If I have a friend who's an avid football watcher, I never tell him "Oh that's sick...why don't you go out and play football in the yard if you love it so much". I like the Terminator movies with Arnold. Now does that mean the next day I'm going to go out and run my car through a police station?
Men are more visual. As you ladies sulk about your "filthy" man liking porn, you have your own porn in the forms of Desperate Housewives and many of the daytime soaps. Men just need more visual stimuli, whereas women can use their imaginations more.
It's entertainment, pure and simple. One just has to reduce it to its basic elements. So keep the porn flowing guys. The only thing "obscene" about it is the amount of money I make from it.
Cheers! | |
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| The effects of pornography on relationships
Posted: 4/1/2007 2:09:48 PM | | I was involved with a woman for 3.5 years and we had great sex,she was a little bi-curious and when I was on the computer doing business stuff she would come up behind me before bed and ask me if I could just for minute turn on lesbian porn cuz she wanted to see what it was like,well let me tell you getting the reverse cowgirl while she was watching women get it on,WOW it was amazing and very erotic and christ did we need a mop. | |
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| The effects of pornography on relationships
Posted: 4/1/2007 7:30:27 PM | I can say from my own life that porn ruins a marriage...My ex was addicted to it.
After trying for 25 years i ave up and left..when a man wants porn more than he wants his own wife something is bad wrong | |
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| The effects of pornography on relationships
Posted: 4/1/2007 8:51:09 PM | I think it all matters on the people. Some people here have had bad experiences, some have had great. For those who were with someone where it ruined the relationship, I think it was more the person then the porn.
Personally I think its helped things for me and I'm sure my ex would tell you the same.
The person(mostly the guy) just has to know the difference between porn and having sex with their significant other. Then again some of that also depends on their partner and what your watching. | |
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| The effects of pornography on relationships
Posted: 4/1/2007 9:04:23 PM | i dont forbid it..i encourage it. i mean i think its just wrong if you forbid it, he'll end up wanting more and fantasizing more about it.
if all else fails..dump him. | |
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| The effects of pornography on relationships
Posted: 4/1/2007 9:07:56 PM | Porn, in my experience, is a two-edged sword. It's the thing that tells guys that it's okay to be interested in sex. It doesn't tell guys much about women, though.
For instance, in my marriage - we were both young and relatively inexperienced. The most my ex had seen was Playboy. I guess that was valuable to him; but not to me. Women naturally know what to do if they feel loved and comfortable.
When we got together, I wasn't really interested in his ideas of what he had learned from Playboy. I was more interested in what we could create together. I'm happy that he might have learned a few things. In fact, that is what (ultimately) held our marriage together for so long: The way that we could directly relate to each other in a sexual way. (Hope that doesn't sound too crass - but, sex is the glue that holds the marriage together.)
Anyway, now that I am single, I had a relationship that fell apart because this guy would turn the tv to the porn channel and tell me, "That's how I want you to be."
I was naturally like most of it, but after he said that, and I made a sound during lovemaking; it was like I was trying to sound like a porn star, which I wasn't.
It felt like I was becoming a sexual cartoon character - which made me feel self-conscious and made me feel emotionally removed from the experience: Like I was playing a role. A role that was created for me by his tv experience.
I actually wanted to connect with this guy, but his porn experience got in my way. He wasn't making me feel loved or safe so I couldn't open up to him.
Don't know if that makes sense or not. | |
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| The effects of pornography on relationships
Posted: 4/1/2007 9:10:35 PM | I  porn !!!
Ok now for serious opinion.(seriously I luv porn,lol.)Anyway,like most questions posed here. Depends on the people involved.So cant answer it eh.Porn can be good or bad.Depends on the people involved.Can definitely give a person ideas to try on their mate/spouse/lover/ whatever.
The woman who said.Theres only one kind of porn.Your being ridiculous.Theres a gazillion flavors or porn.People always have.Always will be obsessed with sex.Though I get what your saying 2.I mean the degrading,exploitive,abusive shyt.Esp the extreme kinda porn.( ie: rape, gagging etc.Kinda shyt.)Just strikes me as kinda sick.And people who get off.And provide a market for it.I think have some issues.Depending on how they react to it.I mean I would feel safe.In saying,that all guys.Have thought about taking a woman sexually.Part of being a human male.Though if they were to be obsessed.And really enjoy that kinda fantasy.Then well,that speaks 4 itself.
So in closing :D
Porn (thumbs up)
Sickos and twisted porn ( and the stuff made by people.With the morals of a kokroach) thumbs down. | |
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| The effects of pornography on relationships
Posted: 4/1/2007 10:00:19 PM | Some people can take it or leave it. I prefer to leave it. I was married to a man that became addicted to porn and I believe it was a major contributor to the destruction of my marriage and family. After several times of catching him when he had promised to quit, I stopped asking him to quit, but just to, please, do it outside of our home, away from our two young daughters. He said he would, but I was too dumb to realize he couldn't, because he was addicted (I didn't know at the time that there was even such a condition as "addicted" to porn). He finally brought some home late one night, tired out of his head, and left it in the bathroom for the girls to find. Next thing I know, CPS is involved and they tell me if I don't keep the children away from him, they will take them away from me, too, for not 'protecting' them. He then thinks I'm being a bit** trying to separate him from his kids. The whole thing has been a nightmare.
I agree with the one 'in the business' it is partly dependent on whose hands it is in and how it is being used. And from experience I see the similarity to the addiction to alchol or any other type of substance abuse; so of course, it you know you are prone to addiction and you don't control it but it controls you: GET RID OF IT AND GET SOME HELP. And why isn't porn considered cheating? I felt like I was being cheated on and I believe, in my case, I was. | |
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| The effects of pornography on relationships
Posted: 4/2/2007 12:42:43 AM | | I have to say that I really do like pornography and in the right context it can be great fun in a relationship. I do have my limits though, no fetish porn involving violence, no phone sex, no contact with other people, no on line stuff with real people, and no using porn ALL the time to get going. Otherwise I think it is all about the comfort zone of your partner and what boundaries they have. As long as it doesn't cross over into the negative then anything goes. Thats why I am a big believer in communication, and respect, and exploring. Makes things sooo much more compatible between two people. | |
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| The effects of pornography on relationships
Posted: 4/2/2007 1:31:02 AM | | I think the introduction of porn to a relationship can work both ways. To a negative degree if it's used as a substitute rather than an additive. Like any other new or novel injection of something different to spice things up in a relationship, you both have to be on the same page as to what your both wanting out of it in the first place. Just a different source of stimuli, not unlike role playing or toy usage. | |
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jcgmed
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Joined: 3/7/2007
Msg: 116 | |
| The effects of pornography on relationships
Posted: 9/2/2007 10:37:28 PM | If both are open-minded, that can be very exciting.
I've done a few porn castings so my ex-gf liked that a lot, most of all were "porn for women only" ( just me and a girl making me blow several times ). | |
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| The effects of pornography on relationships
Posted: 9/3/2007 4:19:16 AM |
When the guy sneaks his porn, or the woman forbids it, I think that ends up being a very bad influence and creates distance.
Many couples have things that one partner will hide from the other.Smoking,drinking,gambling, porn....this all adds up to the problem of someone trying to change their mate.You need to know going into the relationship from the jump,what you can tolerate and what you can't.
My wife and I watch it from time to time and I think as long as it's not someone's central focus,it's OK.Just like anything else. | |
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| The effects of pornography on relationships
Posted: 9/3/2007 9:51:46 AM | | i think that anyone in a relationship does that relationship a severe disservice when they introduce porn. i think that porn is extremely distructive to relationships. first of all it's unfair to the woman in the relationship because when men watch porn, whatever woman he's with is going to have to contend with the fact that she can never measure up to the women in those videos. most women in society don't look like those women. most women in society aren't built like those women, and even the sexual tricks that these women perform in the videos are not realistic for your average woman. all that ends up happening is that the man in the relationship starts wanting his woman to be like, look like, and perform like, the women in those videos, and when it dawns on him that she can't, then he gets to where he'd prerfer to masturbate and watch the videos rather than be with her. this eventually turns into an all out search on his part to find someone as close to the women in those movies as possible. this leads to the poor girl he's with being cheated on and eventually dumped. i have seen over and over again with my own eyes and have experianced personally how porn changes a man once it is introduced into a relationship. i have also witnessed the addictive qualities that porn has, turn into all out sex addiction. i would never introduce it into my own relationship. if a man that i was with tried to introduce it the relationship would end right then and there. if i was dating a man and discovered that he liked porn, that would end things instantly. all that happens when you tell a man that it bothers you is that he tells you that he won't watch it anymore, then he sneaks and does it behind your back. the porn demon is very powerful, and us ordinary girls don't stand a chance against it. | |
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| The effects of pornography on relationships
Posted: 9/3/2007 10:09:52 AM | | There is a huge difference between viewing images either alone or together, and trying to excite some loser 3 states away with a web cam. Many couples or singles can use the images to enhance their sex life but the minute you start trading pictures with stranges or spending more time on line then with real people you have a problem. | |
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| The effects of pornography on relationships
Posted: 9/4/2007 2:09:59 AM |
all that ends up happening is that the man in the relationship starts wanting his woman to be like, look like, and perform like, the women in those videos, and when it dawns on him that she can't, then he gets to where he'd prerfer to masturbate and watch the videos rather than be with her. this eventually turns into an all out search on his part to find someone as close to the women in those movies as possible. this leads to the poor girl he's with being cheated on and eventually dumped. i have seen over and over again with my own eyes and have experianced personally how porn changes a man once it is introduced into a relationship.
I see threads like this all the time about porn and they remind me of the same threads about marijuana.Someone goes on about how pot needs to stay illegal because it's a gateway drug that leads to hard drug addiction.They base this opinion on personal experience,usually a kid somewhere that they knew who got started with pot and either went on to harder drugs or they became a stoner who's only interest was aquiring more pot and eating junk food while they lived in their mom's basement at the age of 30.
So because someone who had problems to begin with got into porn and it ruined their lives,it's assumed that porn was the cause of their problems.Well I got a news flash here.If it wasn't porn,it would be something else.If a guy gets so into porn that he prefers wanking it over a monitor to real live sex,then I would say he has a psyche problem to begin with.To say porn will do this to every person who watches it,in every relationship is like saying that every person who plays Dungeons and Dragons ends up obsessed,not being able to distinguish fantasy from reality. | |
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| The effects of pornography on relationships
Posted: 9/5/2007 1:34:10 PM | | I think pornography is not only degrading but I don't see what good it does for the relationship? Yes I admit I am a very sexual person but why look at some other naked bodies who are doing it when you could be doing it with the person you love? I know that pornography might give some good ideas on how sex could be played out but why watch a film that's unrealistic when you could read about it instead? you could read sex journals that are realistic and wouldn't hurt your partner and if you can't get your limbido up then there are articles on that sort of thing as well. I know that some men and some women prefer not to watch porn because all they want is their significant other not a whole bunch of dirty films. | |
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| The effects of pornography on relationships
Posted: 9/5/2007 1:39:33 PM | I used to be quite proud of the fact that I collected "porn" Until about a couple of months ago I saw something on the net....and.....well.......lets just say it involved a "BASEBALL BAT" and now all the porn is locked away....I haven't collected anymore or looked at one since...besides you seen one you seen them all...TRUST ME...
Torric2007 | |
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