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| Does Sex On A First Date Ruin Everything...?
Posted: 3/12/2006 9:35:06 AM | Even the most progressive seemingly liberal man is susceptible to this kind of thinking. You play the 'good girl' game or get dumped, those are the rules of this mans game.
I think that is about as fair as saying all women who sleep with someone on the first date are sluts. I can't believe that EVERY man you dated and slept with early in the relationship dumped you because of it. If so, you may want to look at your choices. | |
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| Does Sex On A First Date Ruin Everything...?
Posted: 3/12/2006 9:35:45 AM | | SSG - Yes, I got that part. But if a guy is interested only in the sex, whether he gets it on the first date or the tenth, he'll still split afterward. | |
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| Does Sex On A First Date Ruin Everything...?
Posted: 3/12/2006 9:37:51 AM | okay ,, in all honesty ,,
guys can say what they want to , i don't care, ,,
first date sex sends a bad message, it ruins everything,, i don't even care if you have been spending all day every day online together, it has been my experience that even with lots of time spent talking and even using cameras and voice cannot be a replacement for how you actually feel once you really meet the other person in the flesh (so to speak),,
even if the guy does take you home to meet the parents,, unless it is further on , having been together for a long time, it usually is close to the last time you will be together or the beginning of the end,,
of course there are exceptions to every rule,, hey we are on the net ,, anything can happen , but generally as a rule the people involved will just move on soon,
think of it this way , we are on a dating site with a whole lot of other possibilities for each , a sort of smorgasbord so to speak,, so it is actually very easy for the guy or girl to find another ,,
this is just my opinion,, don't think so ,,, than tell us how you feel if you haven't already ,,
the northguide,,,,,,,,,,,,,
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| Does Sex On A First Date Ruin Everything...?
Posted: 3/12/2006 9:38:55 AM | This is a good thread P.P the phrase was a guy wants to hear ,, baby your the best,, straight up and honest ,, thats what men want to hear , I have never been on a one night stand ,, so I'm not sure how I would react. I guess if I come across a one night stand situation ,, I better ask the girl ,, what she is looking for . | |
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| Does Sex On A First Date Ruin Everything...?
Posted: 3/12/2006 9:48:55 AM |
Well I have a question, if your yakking online and on the phone for a month or 6 doesn't that count? You find out about them, intelligence, humor values etc. then you still gotta spend lots of live in person time with them too? What the heck for, shouldn't it just be about chemistry at that point?
Wer, that is a very good question! I can speak only for myself here. Back in those times... ... met a guy...he was in the army, we talked, wrote letters...for about a yr. First time we met in person, the chemistry was there too...we had sex. We got married 8 months later. No, it wasn't a mistake...we did love each other deeply, unfortunatelly... all his family considered our marriage their busines...and we were too young to know how to resist and survive the pressure...
However, if you just met a guy and want a long term relationship, I don't think it is good idea to have sex on a first date...just because, you know so little about each other... | |
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| Does Sex On A First Date Ruin Everything...?
Posted: 3/12/2006 9:54:31 AM |
And quite frankly dam straight I think we ladies do have alot of special qualities to offer.
Your first line sounds like something you'd use to intimidate a gal into having sex with you...maybe on the first date...?
PP - I seem to have hit a nerve...sorry if I offended, didn't mean to imply that you ladies don't have special qualities...I was talking simply about the sex, which was the topic of your thread.
And even though the suggestion needs no response....no, I don't intimidate women, at all.
My point is, that in this day and age I find it hard to believe that relationships fail or succeed on such a basis. Whether a woman chooses to have sex or not sounds like...well, simply a silly reason for a relationship to prosper or flounder.
Obviously you don't agree, and it seems many others don't agree with me, but you asked for opinions and I've given mine. | |
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| Does Sex On A First Date Ruin Everything...?
Posted: 3/12/2006 9:59:56 AM | | Yup I think I hit a nerve too. My post on page one was just a responce to Wer 1 ''s comment on stupid male ego's that's all it was . just telling it as it is ,,, | |
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| Does Sex On A First Date Ruin Everything...?
Posted: 3/12/2006 10:00:23 AM |
SSG - But if a guy is interested only in the sex, whether he gets it on the first date or the tenth, he'll still split afterward.
^^^That is so true...and could be the right answer to this question...
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| Does Sex On A First Date Ruin Everything...?
Posted: 3/12/2006 10:02:18 AM | | Interesting topic. I haven't had it happened, but my take on the situation is that it doesn't have to ruin the potential for a date. It would however make me wonder if she jumps in the sac before looking around for any bugs it would worry me what's piggybacking along with her. Quite possibly an irrational fear, but I really like not being sick and whatnot. This is unfortunately a topic we can debate continuously and people will most likely remain on one side of the fence of the other regardless of debate. | |
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| Does Sex On A First Date Ruin Everything...?
Posted: 3/12/2006 10:02:57 AM | Fella you don't need to worry about offending It's your opinion. The point of the forum is to see the dynamic different opinions out there. Gives everyone the option
of perhaps changing or growing if they choose. | |
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| Does Sex On A First Date Ruin Everything...?
Posted: 3/12/2006 10:07:20 AM | All4um, appreciate the post but no need to apologize, you have an opinion and that's what these forums are for, I just tend to have an "Irish" one............. 
I was just trying to stay on what the topic actually was as opposed to where it was heading.......
Have a great day.....it's hard to flip the emotions back and forth between this heated thread and Smartie's senior's home "build it they will come".....flip the switch....pissed on this thread then pissing yourself laughing on the other.....who says we can't multi-task.
PP
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| Does Sex On A First Date Ruin Everything...?
Posted: 3/12/2006 10:11:49 AM | Yes, for most guys that get it on a first date, we don't have respect for that girl as we would have it for a girl that made us wait till she finally said yes. She would continue to get respect to degrees because we know she understands us better then the girl that'll do it on the first or second date.
We guys, (most guys) we don't HAVE to have sex. We just act that way. It's a character role that the media and society have given to us to act as. We can wait like anyone else. And for those guys acting like they can't wait and do and say all they can to get a new date into bed, remember, if a guy doesn't respect himself he SURE AINT GONNA RESPECT THE DATE HE IS WITH. The date is a notch on the belt and that is it. Any girl, lady, etc., that goes on a date and finds the guy talking of sex, how good he is, does she like sex, what are her sexual likes and dislikes etc., is telling her he is there to get laid.  | |
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| Does Sex On A First Date Ruin Everything...?
Posted: 3/12/2006 10:19:22 AM | Alaska....appreciate your honesty buddy................now I guess the million dollar question is why don't the men respect the gals who sleep with them on the first date.....
BUT.........that's a whole nother thread and a whole nother day cause my butt's getting sore and I got things to do today...!!!
Have a good one ya'll....!
PP
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| Does Sex On A First Date Ruin Everything...?
Posted: 3/12/2006 10:20:23 AM | | Yup I guess we all should be wearing name tags that say what we are looking for. One night stand ,,, long term ,, play time ,, and will someone talk to me please I'm lonely . | |
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| Does Sex On A First Date Ruin Everything...?
Posted: 3/12/2006 10:23:43 AM | Alaska23004.............. well buddy ..........if you can "give" respect ...... then I guess you can "take it away" ............ nobody holds my RESPECT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I keep it thank you very much .............
Holly Crap's ............ men just think that they have way to much power!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | |
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| Does Sex On A First Date Ruin Everything...?
Posted: 3/12/2006 10:31:58 AM |
Yes, for most guys that get it on a first date, we don't have respect for that girl as we would have it for a girl that made us wait till she finally said yes. She would continue to get respect to degrees because we know she understands us better then the girl that'll do it on the first or second date.
It must seem that my role today is playing Devil’s Advocate – but I just don’t get it! You’re saying that “we guys” will not respect a woman who has sex on the first date, but we will respect her if she has sex on the third date? And that our level of respect will increase in proportion to the number of dates that she waits before having sex? So how long does she have to 'hold out' before we respect her completely???
Well, maybe when we were teenagers, that may have been the way things were. Frankly, it was so long ago, I have a hard time remembering what it was like!!
Most of the people on this site have previously been married or in long-term relationships. Most have had multiple partners…in fact, I’d venture a guess that the virgins on this site are outnumbered 10,000 to 1!!
I simply fail to see the relevance of sex/no sex on the first date contributing to a successful relationship. | |
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| Does Sex On A First Date Ruin Everything...?
Posted: 3/12/2006 10:36:54 AM | All4um.....it's not about the sex or no sex on the first date that seems to cause the problem, it's actually the guy's perception of the lady after..............it's sad, very sad, but unfortunately, it's true. Not saying it's right, but that it's true, not generally a gal he'll take home to meet mom.
PP
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| Does Sex On A First Date Ruin Everything...?
Posted: 3/12/2006 10:44:19 AM | Well PP, judging from the responses to your thread, I'm going to have to concede the point. Seems it is a common experience among the women, and a common attitude among the men.
Won't be the first time I've been mystified by one of life's imponderables, and likely won't be the last! | |
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| Does Sex On A First Date Ruin Everything...?
Posted: 3/12/2006 10:45:21 AM | | Just maybe underneath all this does she or doesn't she talk ,, there is a desire , to be in a true committed relationship , but our hormons take control ,, and what we really want has to take a back seat . just a thought As for myself I love to play ,,, romance is sooooooo great, but deep inside I want a deep forever or never relationship. | |
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weR1
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Joined: 11/6/2005
Msg: 47 | |
| Does Sex On A First Date Ruin Everything...?
Posted: 3/12/2006 1:26:45 PM | I said suseptible I did not say they all succumb, men make a choice of whether or not to buy into the 'good girl' crap same as women make the choice whether or not to play along. Only way to tell if your fella is really progressive and liberal is to sleep with him and see if he sticks around; if he don't he's a liar, don't make you a slut though.
So somebody (he says he respects) sleep with all4um and we'll see if he's telling the truth.
I'm not advocating one night stands merely pointing out these are the unwritten rules. I don't think they are fair because I think how I treat my neighbors, my values, and what I stand for should be valued more than how long I withhold sex from someone I respect and feel attracted to. You shouldn't need me to wait to feel special, you should feel special because I chose you in the first place. | |
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| Does Sex On A First Date Ruin Everything...?
Posted: 3/12/2006 1:35:25 PM | Well f*ck if I am gonna leave a partner hanging, all4um, you know there aint nothing you can say that will win here, no matter how much common sense is involved....
Ladies if you are gonna whine about the double standards, and thats fine we all know there is a double standard, ask yourself this, as you sit there wondering if its okay......."what advice would you give your daughters on the topic....."
Theres your answer. | |
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| Does Sex On A First Date Ruin Everything...?
Posted: 3/12/2006 1:38:17 PM | easiest question to answer
RESPECT Yourself and Your body and f*ck them if they cant understand that. If you want to have sex on the first date thats your choice. Just ALWAYS RESPECT yourself and your actions
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