| Does Sex On A First Date Ruin Everything...?
Posted: 3/12/2006 4:37:18 PM | | that's correct ^^ if i met a woman in which I saw potential, I would most likely wait for the opportune time but realistically speaking, everyone has needs. | |
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| Does Sex On A First Date Ruin Everything...?
Posted: 3/12/2006 4:43:29 PM | WOW you put SEX on a thread and our minds start going a mile a minute. O.K here is something else to think about . What if your first date ended with some intense massage going on ,, kissing, back and front rubs ,, very very romantic time,,,, BUT no sinking the sub ,,, would that ruin the relationship . | |
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| Does Sex On A First Date Ruin Everything...?
Posted: 3/12/2006 4:46:01 PM | Ok...........if I really like the guy and want to maybe spend the rest of my life with him.......then no sex on the first date..........if he wants it''''''''he's a smuck.....!!!!!!
If I don't care about the guy........then sex is ok.........I don't care if I ever see him again.... ............just wanted sex........
Hmmmm........my ex husband of 13yrs.........we pretty much had sex on our out of town adventure only knowing each other.......for........don't know how long........but not long.........
Ok.........I'm just going to back out of this thread now......bye bye... | |
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weR1
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Joined: 11/6/2005
Msg: 80 | |
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| Does Sex On A First Date Ruin Everything...?
Posted: 3/12/2006 4:55:44 PM | when I did go meet guys off here and the other site I was on last year, I think I had this on my profile when I first joined POF, short meeting, coffee/drink, talk then each go our way and not put the other on the spot, wholly though the one last year I speeded home, vibrating all the way, got on the computer and asked "when can I see you again" it took everything for me to walk away from that meeting and he broke his own rule of waiting 4 days before seeing someone for the second date and met the next night and even took me to meet his best friend, we didnt wait for no 3rd date, are you kidding, if the chemistry is there why not???
life is too damn short
Would I judge a man if he had sex with me the first date?? it wouldnt cross my mind
would I be judged? maybe
but if I slept with him and was obviously that attracted to him(or like sassy said "under the influence") to do that and he walked away after, I obviously missed something and even then
worst scenario....I had an enjoyable evening 
And if you read this and think Im easy........think again :-) this doesnt happen often :-) I should add.....enough
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| Does Sex On A First Date Ruin Everything...?
Posted: 3/12/2006 4:56:39 PM |
I personally don't think women should sell themselves short.
I'm not selling myself short, long or inbetween...I'm actually not for sale...To assume that this is a "selling" feature to you says you have forgotten that you haven't been able to buy and sell women legally for well..a few years...not that many unfortunately!
Again, I look at your age and I understand the societal constructs that you're living under, try challenging them for a change and respect the women you're with...all of them not just the ones that you think are 'marriage' material....(Thank god I'm not in that age range anymore!)
ssass | |
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| Does Sex On A First Date Ruin Everything...?
Posted: 3/12/2006 5:15:22 PM | Serendipity has worded the disrespect issue we have for ourselves and thus others then any one else has worded it so far.
"If I don't care about the guy (girl)..............then sex is ok..............I don't care if I ever see him (her) again..................just wanted sex............."
When you prostitute yourself sexually to others, their is no TRUE SELF RESPECT in the act. You are degrading yourself and the person(s) you are doing it with.
We as a society and thru the media have cheapened the act of sex to an everyday type activity. It is no longer considered a "special event or kind of special event" as once it was considered. We teach ourselves everyday that sex out side of marriage is cool. Test the waters before you commit. Make sure your on the same level for sex. Sex is cool, do it as often as you like. We teach those things to our kids thru the media especially. And if your single, dating, and your kids are old enough to know your "doing it" you are so setting an example for them of what to do when they get old enough to do it.
Everything a relationship was about is no longer functional in our society. We have turned ourselves into one huge whoring society and no one really cares. You doubt this? Take a look at some of the most popular tv shows we love to watch and laugh at and allow our kids to watch.
That Seventies Show. (teenage sex and getting high)
O.C. (violence, teen sex, adult sex, adultry)
Malcoholm In The Middle (disfunctional familys)
The Simpsons(extreme disfunctional familys
King Of The Hill(adultry, teen sex, adult sex)
I find no humor that we try to teach our kids moral values when most of us don't live by them at all. We are a "Do as I say, not as I do society."
If you are really searching for a great long lasting relationship, skip the sex. You'll thank yourself in the long run.  | |
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| Does Sex On A First Date Ruin Everything...?
Posted: 3/12/2006 5:21:35 PM | just to clarify the above post.....so basically what you're saying is....don't have sex unless you're married?...
Gee they didn't even do that in my grandma's era...they would like us to believe they did..but they didn't..but then again..they married at 15.
Abstinence is always an options...is it realistic?...probably not...so talk about it. Kids know about it..that's not a bad thing..just no one has told them of the emotions involved in it... teach safe sex and practice it. Talk about unplanned pregnancies....they happen...living in a closet isn't going to make it stop.
ssass | |
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| Does Sex On A First Date Ruin Everything...?
Posted: 3/12/2006 5:47:43 PM | | Holy F*ck Sassyass, the fact is right or wrong, men will always percieve someone that allows them, yes we still look at it as allowing us to f*ck them right away, as someone who would and has done this before and will do it again, no matter how many posts we make the fact is, not many men will say they have had long term relationships with women they slept with on the first date, but hell I could be wrong...... | |
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| Does Sex On A First Date Ruin Everything...?
Posted: 3/12/2006 5:57:14 PM | but what about just "messin around"? i still respect a guy if there's no actual f*cking... but figure him to be a whore if he is willing to f*ck right away...
and really... what IS the "proper" time to wait? i gotta know a guy at least a bit before i get nekkid with him, even for just messin around... but what is the "proper time" to wait?
do guys have a rule of thumb on that one? | |
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| Does Sex On A First Date Ruin Everything...?
Posted: 3/12/2006 6:02:44 PM | | Messing around is sooo good ,, like I said earlier ,, romance , kissing back and front rubs mmmmm good . But as soon as you sink the sub ,, people look at things differently differnt strokes for different folks lol lol lol | |
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| Does Sex On A First Date Ruin Everything...?
Posted: 3/12/2006 6:36:48 PM | alaska2004 ....... I can't believe you live in the dark ages .......... holly cow........ your reasons are what keep women down.............
I wish my mother where a live to talk to you ............ I'm sure she would tell you about waiting for that "great long lasting relationship" ......... skipping the sex ....... and in no way thanking herself........... being married for 33 years befor she died.........and not having one singe orgasm in her F U C K I N G life!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She was the one who told me to go out and have MANY GREAT LOVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I thank my Mother ........... for not wanting me to live the life she had............ and for experiencing beautful sex ............and having great orgasms........ and even squirting ........ omg ........ cause god forbit ......... a women enjoy her life........ that someone would Judge her for it ....... and even have the audacity to withhold RESPECTING that women for knowing herself .......... thank god ......... cause you know ..........it takes two ......... that last time I had sex............ | |
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| Does Sex On A First Date Ruin Everything...?
Posted: 3/12/2006 7:11:59 PM | .....so basically what your saying is.......don't have sex untill your married..?
Alaska2004....I can't believe you live in the dark ages.........holly cow..........your reasons are what keep women down...
You missed the general idea of my last post. We in our day and age are setting the example that sex is cool at any time, at most any place, with any person of your choosing, for as often or as few times as you wish to have sex. We, in our society are not even teaching that there is a right time and wrong time for sex. We teach now that sex at any time is the right time. That concept is demoralizing the real definition of what a real realationship is about, in marriage or out of marriage. We and our youth live by the new age meaning of what relationships are not about, not what they should be about.
It is my understanding that the reason we are no longer finding the relationships we would like to find is because those types of relationships hold no real value for us. We have cheapened the true value of relationships through our abuse of our sexuality. That is what I see. If that understanding puts me in the dark ages, then so let it be. I now like to date to meet a woman without worrying if I'm getting to any bases. It is nice to date and just talk and enjoy each others company.
I am no longer a conformist to media hype that if I'm not a whore to my sexual needs with someone else on a frequent, kind of frequent or infrequent basis then something is wrong with me.
Respecting myself, respecting sex, respecting my date is better then disrespecting any one or more as I use to do.  | |
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| Does Sex On A First Date Ruin Everything...?
Posted: 3/12/2006 7:44:43 PM | Wow, I guess I missed quite a bit of discussion while I was off doing other things today!
Alaska – I think I understand what you’re saying, and that you have made a choice to abstain from sex until marriage. I take it this decision is based on your moral principles, to set an example for your children and for your own peace of mind. Very commendable, and I’m sure not an easy decision to live with day-by-day, but worthwhile if it works for you!! Just one word of advice, if you don’t mind…..you might want to tone down your language when talking about views of morality different than yours. People who do not share your views don’t deserve to be referred to as “whore” or “prostitute.”
Sassy – You’ve said everything I was trying to get across, only you’ve said it more eloquently and in a manner much more easily understood (dammit!!) Upstaged again! And there I thought I was the only one with a dissenting opinion, and had already conceded defeat.
Butt – Thanks for riding to my rescue! Just when I thought all was lost…
As to the advice I gave my daughter….Well, I have a daughter and a son, both are now grown and married, doing very well and I couldn’t be prouder of either one. They were raised without double standards – the rules that applied to one, applied to the other.
Wer1 – I noticed that you called for volunteers to test my sincerity. Sadly, no responses. *sigh* Not to worry, I’m used to it. Thanks for trying! | |
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| Does Sex On A First Date Ruin Everything...?
Posted: 3/12/2006 8:56:45 PM | Thanks for understanding all4um.
Of the word prostitute I choose it over whore and slut, it had a better sound to it, kind of like a job title ya know? Sorry, couldn't pass that one by. And the term wasn't used to the population as a whole, only to those whom webster called it as he saw em, or did 'em, or observed them?
To any I offended, I apoligize. To any I offended to whom said definitions do fit, I apoligize for being correct. Just joking with you all. Take a chill pill, calm down and don't flame me "k"? | |
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| Does Sex On A First Date Ruin Everything...?
Posted: 3/12/2006 9:23:56 PM | | Personally,I love sex(who doesnt)and if ,on my first date,we were to have sex,so be it.We are both adults and can make our own decisions.End of story! (and its fun) | |
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| Does Sex On A First Date Ruin Everything...?
Posted: 3/12/2006 9:40:38 PM | | Hummmmmmmm people using words to put down another............ well well ...... of course they are men's words to ........ keep and degrade women ........ and keep them "in" there place........ tisk tisk ......... I hope you feel better about yourself....... does that make you feel good........ superiour to some of us????? | |
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| Does Sex On A First Date Ruin Everything...?
Posted: 3/12/2006 9:42:34 PM | Well we answered that question didnt we :-)
I dont have you blocked, I havent had messenger up all day and most of yesterday, trying to move my friggen music off disc back onto my puter and its going sooooo slow, it says 60 seconds and its most are taking 60 minutes, I just want my music back :-(
if you see my son on there could you say hi :-) | |
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