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| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 5/30/2007 4:31:00 AM | | This is amazing, I have found the same thing too. So, it is a cultural phenomenom eh? It's all part of the same problem with every other relationship issue. There are only two categories of people in the world, those who strive to be better people and those who prefer the ease of life. It is the Aesop fable of ant and grasshopper, the industrious worker ant plans and builds, while the grasshopper plays and plays, consequently starving in winter having laid up no supplies, provisions for the future. For the grasshoppper it's all about the pleasure of now, her for a good time, and I'm afraid our whole North American cult-ure has taken this idea and run with it. Everything is easy, no one wants to give up the good times of the moment, for the potential greater times in the long term. Don't compromise on the downhill direction for the company of those who would not compromise and go up hill to meet you... | |
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| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 5/30/2007 4:32:39 AM | Hi Wesleyptr,
There could be a few reasons why some people don't want to date someone who does not drink.
Sadly, some people, and this applies to both men and women, need to have an alcoholic glaze on before they can have a good time. They have never experienced a natural high and would feel uncomfortable (or stupid) if their date didn't get as drunk as they did. It takes the pressure off them to be a quality date, and not just a one-night hop in the sack. Anybody can get drunk, lose all senses, and fall in bed with someone. That's the easy part. Relationships are not and take work. If you have been shot down by women for not drinking, I expect that those women would fall under this category, and you'd have to ask yourself, "Is this the kind of woman I really want to get stuck with?" You'd be surprised at the number of people who try to use being drunk as an excuse for vehicular manslaughter, rape, incest, STD's, AIDS, pregnancy, etc.
Another view is that if they have ever lived with an alcoholic-turned-recovering- alcoholic, they might suspect that this new non-drinking person in their life, who they do not really know, might be a recovering-alcoholic and the chances of him/her slipping back into a life consumed with alcohol are pretty good. This could make someone run the other way, although, in all fairness, they should care enough to find out why this person chooses not to drink.
Another reason is that some alcoholics will not touch a drop in the early stages of drinking, other than "under the table" drinking, and then just when they have their dates where they want them, out comes the alcohol. This, I say, from a very nasty and gut-wrenching personal experience.
Stick to your guns, bud. You'll be glad you did. | |
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| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 5/30/2007 4:38:04 AM | I dont drink and have noticed this too. can get along great with a woman till the point i mention i dont drink then its like ive got a major infectious problem that will kill um and hear nothing. having said that tho, some i have had the pleasure of knowing are very supportive, all be it maybe 1 in 20 understand and accept it. it does hamper social life big time, i go out and have a blast sober but do get frowned on when i dont drive and im not drinking!!
For me is it the fact i dont drink, been sober 2 n hlf yrs or the reason why i dont drink, is it that bad im an alcoholic in recovery that im now a social misfit???
hey end of day mate **** um, if they shun away then they aint worth it, to judgemental and following social stigmas (in soem cases anyway) take it from me, the ones who accept you dont drink are the real gems out there.... good luck buddy and ignore the ones who need to be legless to have fun... | |
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| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 5/30/2007 4:47:03 AM | I think women are scared off non drinking men as we feel that they may be judgemental when you get tipsy. The last thing you want when youve been out for a tipple is to have somebody giving you a blow by blow account of what you got up to the night before.....usually delivered with an air of disdain!
Seriouly though, Im afraid I have to say in my experience those who never ever drink, (with the exception of recovering alcoholics), tend to be control freaks and will try to control you in other areas of your life too. That would be the reason I would steer clear not purely the fact that they dont drink. | |
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| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 5/30/2007 6:26:18 AM | I don't want to go off topic but this thread reminds me of something that's related. My 'party til you puke' days are long gone and I seldom drink...I'll have one or two when I go out or none at all. One thing I've noticed that's quite common from my experiences is that if you're offered a drink and politely decline, those who don't know you automatically think you're a non-drinker. It happened to me again just a couple of weeks ago. I'm always baffled by this sort of assumption....WTF?
OP, if anyone will shy away from you because you don't drink, they aren't good enough for you. | |
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| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 5/30/2007 6:39:20 AM | My SO does not drink. He did years ago and had an occasion that caused him to stop. I respect that. I will have glass of wine/drink on occasion, but can take it or leave it. He does not care if i do.
I respect his not drinking, bc my ex drank to hide from feeling his emotions. I personally did not seek out a non drinker, but it was attractive to me, bc of of the dealings with my ex.......watching a hidden bottle dissappear, realizing he preferred drinking to me....etc.
SO, I think the women who shy away from non drinkers simply enjoy drinking.....not saying they are wild party animals, but they see drinking, even while socializing, casually as a part of their life and do not want anyone looking at them negatively because of it. Now this could be bad, if someone REALLY is a big drinker, but it's their life...........
To each his own....a part of the joy of life. We get to choose who we are with. We can choose not to be with whomever, for whatever reason!
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TeJ_25
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Joined: 2/17/2007
Msg: 257 | |
| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 5/30/2007 6:59:41 AM | | am actually happier sober than with alcohol. have not consumed alcohol in five years. you develop senses you were unaware of when sober, and likewise when intoxicated can develop a mind that may function differently. may be nerdy but true for me. consider to that alcohol is a depressant, but used as a stimulant. makes not sense to me. also to me sex is much better when you senses are not unaware. it may also be the type of women you hook up with. it takes effort but you may be surprised to find that there are women who are naturally fun to be around without alcohol. there are guys i know who became untimely fathers because of alcohol and when it happens they have to deal with the responsibilities. but it seems it is a social norm that is popular but their are women who are into health and having fun without depressing their system | |
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| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 5/30/2007 7:55:15 AM | | I would welcome a man who doesn’t drink, rarely drinks, or TRULY drinks only on special occasions (and, contrary to public opinion, Saturday night is NOT a special occasion). I imbibe only a couple times a year (I think I had a total of two alcoholic drinks last year, and that was because I was celebrating my son’s 26th birthday). I loathe bars and clubs, unless it’s a nice private, intimate little place with live music or great food. I am no Carrie Nation, but I have witnessed first-hand how booze destroys people, their families and their lives. So, if you’re the type who swills beer down like it’s soda pop, or the kind who feels the need to get shit-faced with regularity, you are NOT the match for me. | |
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| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 5/30/2007 8:03:07 AM | | I'm with Frau Blücher on this one. I only partake in an alcohol on rare occasions--I did all my partying in college, and my love of "frat boy" types is long gone. Besides, I'm too goofy as it is....if my match was sober and just as goofy, then that's a good thing. | |
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| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 5/30/2007 8:23:23 AM | | Wow - this is a new one for me! People won't date because the other doesn't drink ..hmm.... personally doesn't matter, though I can't see myself hanging around a person who consistently is drunk. | |
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| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 5/30/2007 11:23:50 AM | | Same reason I shy away from women who don't drink and women who are vegetarians. It makes social situations tough, they are probably boring, they are uptight, probably not good in bed and prude. They off all people need a drink to relax lol. Your a guy having a couple of drinks with a girl will help you out in getting to know her as both of you open up. Geez the things people say after a couple of drinks! | |
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| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 5/30/2007 11:35:39 AM | Well I think its great that you dont drink I dont drink myself, I used to but I became allergic to alcohol and get a nasty reaction like non-stop sneezing and constant watering eyes not very nice. I do get a similar reaction to you sometimes from guys who think its strange that I dont like to get drunk, but then they think its quite nice and think im going to be their personal taxi and do all the driving while they do the drinking. It dosent work that way if I go out with a guy its nice if he drives at least some of the time. I prefer to go out with guys that dont drink or dont drink to excess, nothing worse than someone getting off their face and you are stone cold sober, I always enjoy myself on a night out and dont need alcohol to enjoy myself. Good luck with finding a nice lady who dosent drink to excess.  | |
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| Why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 5/30/2007 11:50:39 AM | | Wesley you stick with your view, i have seen too many people lose everything through alcohol and some not so nice things..........there are so many beautiful things to see around us who needs booze to blur the vision xx | |
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| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 6/8/2007 1:01:35 AM | | well i would have to say this to you Nala ,,, your opinion of someone that likes to go out have a few drinks and maybe dance, how dare you consider them alcoholics,,, thats so unfair,, who is judgemental,, or who really is pissed that they cant handle someone having a few and being normal,,, would it be you???? or perhaps you feel the need to call everyone down because you cant associate alcohol with a social outlook,,, we are all sluts,,,, whos having fun now,,??? well it aint you sista, just your judgemental status will get you nowhere let alone the fact that you have to undermine someone to get a man to pay attention to you,, you sound like never mind those piss tanks im the girl for you...... barf<<<< | |
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| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 6/8/2007 1:20:18 AM | | diddo, why is everyone that CAN enjoy a coctail considered an alcoholic...? what up with that? out of respect for recovering people yah good on you,, but if addicted people have the impression that we who can only have one or two are alcies... well... maybe there should be a group ,. not called aa but one called i know i screwwed up but some people are normal and i cant accept that so how do i cure myself or thinking everyone that isnt like me is not an alchohliic...;; not sure what the short form would be... lol... point given... | |
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| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 6/8/2007 1:48:53 AM | In my experience, most people who do not drink look down on people who do. A few years ago I was talking to this one guy I met on a dating site. We decided to meet. I asked if he wanted to go to a lounge for drinks or to Starbucks for tea/coffee/juice whatever. He picked the lounge idea. I suggested this great lounge about halfway between his place and mine, we met there, sat down. This lounge has great sangria, but they only sell it by the 1/2 litre or by the litre. I generally can't finish a half on my own, so I asked the guy if he wanted to split it. He said he actually wanted tea. Fine with me, I ordered a cosmo instead. When I was almost finished my drink, the waitress came by and asked if I wanted another one. Before I had the chance to say yes or no (I was going to have one more, but that was it) he said he actually had to go, so just the bill would be nice. I asked him if something was wrong since he barely touched his tea, and he told me that drinking was repulsive and nobody should do it and told me about all the negative effects of alcohol, including accident statistics (I took the bus there and a cab home, so DUI wouldn't have been an issue). Well if you're so repulsed by drinking why did you agree to go for DRINKS instead of coffee/tea/juice at starbucks or another coffee house?
Point is, as long as he doesn't sit in judgement on me or tell me I shouldn't be drinking, I don't have a problem with it. I don't drink too often, get drunk even less often than I have a drink or two with a meal and when I do get drunk I know my limit and stop well before it and make sure I have a DD and/or cab fare home. But in my experience, most non-drinkers will look down on drinkers and that really bothers me. | |
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| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 6/10/2007 5:30:30 AM | Women generally shy away from men who don't drink because there is no sense of danger. We all know how women prefer men to be asses rather than caring people. It's been proven time and time again. Women want a good guy when they have eclipsed the partying age. But by that time they are old and sagging. The pickings are slim when you start looking old.
If you want a woman for a sexual relation only, then get one who drinks. You will get laid everytime.
I rarely go out with any woman who drinks unless I want to get laid. Why? That's easy, because they are too quick to cheat. Why would I want to be near a drunk anyway? Just to answer it before anyone asks. No woman that I know of has cheated on me when drunk. At least not that I am aware of
There really is no point in drinking. If you need to drink to have fun then you have some issues to deal with. People say they drink to relax. That's the biggest lie I have ever heard. They need it because that is the only way they can have fun. When I need to relax I go to sleep.
And no, I do not harbor ill feelings towards anyone who drinks. I have many, many friends who drink. If you want to drink, then drink
I am usually looked down upon because I do not drink. People give me a look like "what makes him so special". | |
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| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 6/10/2007 6:26:15 AM | | Lot's of good points made. Drinking isn't the only way to relax. It is in your mind that it helps you to relax. So you get your drink and take a sip and go Ahhh.. there is no way the drink has relaxed you that fast. Plus the cost that $5 beer that you could of bought for $1 at the store.. what a waste of $$$.. Drink a nice cold drink of Ice water and go AHHH for free... | |
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| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 6/10/2007 6:26:16 PM | Several years ago I developed arthritis. The medication I use to control it works wonders, and my hands are back doing the great massages I am noted for. The trade off is that alcohol is now dangerous for me as it can damage in conjunction with the medication. Easy choice - I don't drink. I rarley miss it, more that I miss the option.
When I worked at a local legion as a bartender I saw first hand how many people really can't handle their hooch. But I still drank here and there. Now its an occasional sip of wine to be a polite guest at a wedding reception, but thats it. I explain the situation when I am asked to get polluted, and so far most women seem okay with it. | |
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| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 6/10/2007 10:27:43 PM | | wpg_chick_84: I've been sober for almost 3 years- i can say personaly i've never looked down on people that do drink- i drank for almost 10 years i completely understand its atraction. However please dont judge your one bad expierence as "all not drinkers are snobs" because it couldnt be farther from the truth. I find many drinkers are very snobish towards non-drinkers in fact, that is very comon. | |
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