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| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 1/7/2008 11:35:33 AM | There are only 2 potential problems with teetotalers. Some of them are self-righteous about their non-drinking, and some of them are recovering alcoholics who abstain for their health. Both types of people can be a pain in the ass to be around.
The only good teetotaler is a person who doesn't even let you know they don't drink. They'll quietly have their soda or water at the bar, and then they'll serve as the designated driver. They don't make a big deal out of "not drinking". | |
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| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 1/7/2008 11:55:41 AM | | ok serve as a driver? as we should be obligated? since we dont. so that makes that our role to serve others? thats like saying a person who doesnt do drugs should feel obligated cut the lines of cocane cuz the person who is too blown out of their mind might risk cutting themself with the razor. and you say some as if there are only two types. thats kinda stereotypical if you look at what you said. what about the others that you didnt touch base on, like a man who lost their wife to a drunk driver. and is disgusted by the irresposibilty of those. and wishes never to put that on others. and that is why they dont drink. to touch base on what some other people have said. and the reason why. well its just for fun, or it helps me relax,, or (my favorite )becuase i had nothing better to do. well i could say i had noting better to do too, so might as well jump off the brooklyn bridge. just becuse it was something to do, well you said only good one is one who doesnt say they dont drink. ok lets be realistic, drinking,,, and everyone else drink around them,, you are realy that closed minded that it isnt going to come out that they dont drink the moment one of the drunks walk over and ask sluring thier speech,, " sooh aha why yea noot drinkin bud?'hmmm?? yea ok,, | |
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| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 1/7/2008 3:09:33 PM | To whom it May concern:
I don't drink alot either. i may have a beer or wine when i am with my gf or a date when i am at a restaurant.
If the lady wants to drink that is fine and if she wants to dump me that is her choice not mine.
ty for listening to me
Eric C | |
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| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 1/7/2008 4:05:33 PM | A teetotaler is no big deal as I have many friends who do not drink for various reasons, such as not liking alcoholic beverages or for good health. I'll take a teetotaler any time over a drunken slob puking his guts out in my car. I am what you'd call a "happy medium", as I'll just have one glass of wine or beer with a meal on occasion. To me the beer or wine is considered a meal supplement. Outside of mealtime I do not drink. Either a teetotaler or someone who is a very light drinker like myself is perfectly fine. Once a guy crosses the line into drunkenness, it's a dealbreaker. It's a turnoff to see someone lose control of himself, and the gross consequences of excessive alcohol intake.
I have never met anyone who was a teetotaler who preached in everyone's faces about it. The teetotalers I know, are just being who they are by choosing not to drink while respecting my choice to enjoy a BEvERage with my meal on occasion. | |
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| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 1/7/2008 4:21:02 PM | There are some good non-drinkers who are tolerant with others around them drinking. But, there are also teetotalers out there who make a point of playing up their non-drinking. They try to turn it into a moral issue.
It wouldn't be surprising that this kind of teetotaler would have trouble getting dates, like the OP was saying. | |
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| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 1/7/2008 10:28:17 PM | Hi Wesley
My name is Amber. I'm in Michigan. I don't drink much either. In the bars (when I do go) I would rather be sober to dance the night away/socialize. If I have a drink, it's like a wine cooler I sip.
I would actually prefer a guy that doesn't drink much. Nothing against someone enjoying their drinks, but I don't think I'd date someone who gets smashed every weekend. It's a waste of money, and it hurts your body. Not to mention if he drove somewhere drunk (or hurt someone while driving drunk). On the other hand, my friends like that I don't drink and could drive if needed.
Good luck. Someone is out there for you.
-A | |
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| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 1/8/2008 3:15:38 AM | Dunno...cuz guys like you are the kind I personally WOULD like to find...someone that doesn't think they have to booze 24/7, but wouldn't mind a drink at New Year's or St. Paddy's Day, or any special date a couple might celebrate. Even a glass of wine sometimes isn't bad...but it seems like it runs from one extreem to the other, with no middle ground. Either someone doesn't drink ......which says to me EVER, and you say isn't necessarily the case in your instance.....or they drink socially....which could mean much as you or I would do, all the way up to those that drink every weekend.....or either they drink often....which basically means, gotta have it at least half the days of the week or more.
Maybe some of those gals that "find doubt" in you took your "don't drink" to mean EVER and they backed off because they feared if they drank, you wouldn't be interested so they moved on. Just a thought.
lol, even when I was in college, I was the Designated Driver of our bunch, I was the only one with enough will power at the time to stay sober in a bar all night long and drive the others home....Still, I understand what ya mean....and I've gone to bars lots of times...sometimes drank, sometimes had cola and just hung out. | |
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MizRed
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Joined: 11/10/2007
Msg: 310 | |
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| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 1/8/2008 3:30:28 AM | | I can understand that katz...I have kids, and I rarely ever drink anymore, but when I do, it's usually on a special occasion and NEVER EVER is it when my kids are around. I don't hide it from them that I do, I just won't do it in their presence. My son's dad drinks occasionally when he visits him, and it always upsets him...he doesn't like drinking at all. I respect my kids, and hope they feel the same toward me, and I want them to know that they don't have to worry about my intoxication level when they are at home....that's just me. Then there's always the wondering about a new person in their life who might drink...how much? would they try to drink in front of my kids? So yeah, I can see your point....not to mention some can't control themselves when they imbibe. | |
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| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 1/8/2008 7:04:36 PM |
There are some good non-drinkers who are tolerant with others around them drinking. But, there are also teetotalers out there who make a point of playing up their non-drinking. They try to turn it into a moral issue.
It wouldn't be surprising that this kind of teetotaler would have trouble getting dates, like the OP was saying.
My daughter received a call from her friend last night. Her mom had been drinking again and was throwing her bottle at her. Then walked out of the house,, returning at 3 in the morning when the dad finally found her.. The girl was worried sick.. Yes Drinking is such a great thing.. Costs lots of money, alcoholics breaking up families, drunk drivers killing innocents, unwanted pregnancies... Yes it is all great.. The only reason it is still legal is, it is a huge money maker to government taxes and businesses... Alcohol the poor mans tax.. | |
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| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 1/8/2008 7:09:35 PM | My ideal match won't drink,,,I live a sober life as a single mom,,,and I want a man who does too for the most part. The drunken nights between a couple are NOT what I want. And quite frankly,,,drunk sex is not something that I consider sexy. So,,,hopefully I will find someone who can have fun with me without being loaded!
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| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 1/8/2008 7:17:55 PM | why dont women like a guy that doesnt drink alcohol????
wrong women ? couple of women that turned you down are certainly not *all* women. I myself was looking for someone who only drinks occasionally or preferably not at all. To me excessive or habitual drinking IS a deal breaker. They may have turned you down coz they felt uncomfortable realizing they were drunk in your presence and you were sober an remember it all... | |
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| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 1/8/2008 7:30:20 PM |
Yes Drinking is such a great thing.. Costs lots of money, alcoholics breaking up families, drunk drivers killing innocents, unwanted pregnancies... Yes it is all great..
Most drinkers are actually responsible and conscientious. You can't paint all people who drink with a broad brush. Certainly, non-drinkers who don't have a chip on their shoulder are fine. But, Teetotalers who want to ride social drinkers can be a real pain.
So, the OP's observations probably have some validity. | |
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| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 1/8/2008 7:37:02 PM | | Personally I find a guy that doesn't drink to be much more intriguing... and how someone could doubt you is beyond me. Sounds like you are searching in the wrong places. Keep looking hun....you'll find the right one for you eventually. | |
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| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 1/8/2008 8:03:07 PM | Women always ask ..Why don't you drink? I tell them the truth, my son asked me one day, "Dad, why do you have to drink?" I knew he had my best interests at heart. I realized, I was his role model, that alcoholism ran in the family, that might be his fate if he drank. It was not much of an issue for me most of the time, but some of my relatives were alcoholics.
I told him "I don't really have a good reason why I drink?" I had bad reasons why I drank sometimes, with the exception of a drink to relax, or a drink that went good with a meal, there was no good reason to get drunk. So I decided not to drink anymore.
I became more productive, enjoyed everyday of the weekend, saved money to spend on other things I like to do, I experience more, and enjoy sex more.
I miss that first couple of hours of being giddy around other people that are drinking, sometimes I feel out of place, but I never miss hangovers, or an empty wallet, or getting sick.
Other people can drink, I don't care. Just stay off the roads please, and think about your children. They need you. It's not a big issue, but I am not looking for someone that is an alcoholic either. | |
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| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 1/9/2008 1:20:45 AM | Well, for a start, try and imagine that all women aren't the same...think of them as individuals (like you do yourselves), and then start looking out for ones that don't drink.
I personally, rarely drink...I'm a lightweight and proud. I will however, still go to the pub to socialise/meet...because unfortunately in this country cafe's open late at night are few and far between. It's not an impossible mission. | |
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| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 1/9/2008 2:57:06 AM |
I think it's funny how people get a "guilty" conscience when there is someone that doesn't drink around them.. All of a sudden people become aware of how often or just how much they do drink... Hmmmmmm
This is EXACTLY what I'm talking about--this assumption that social drinkers are wary of teetotalers because of "guilt" or something. Bullshit! The reason we are wary of teetotalers is because a lot of them stand around at parties rolling their eyes and looking uncomfortable. Some (not all) teetotalers make a big point out of being the odd-man out. If they were really all that "comfortable" without a drink, why do many of them stick out like a sore thumb?
There are way to many people with the mentality that they need something to "help them" have a good time or "help them relax"..Or "let loose"..
Maybe this is the case with alcoholics or social misfits, but MOST people actually don't need alcohol to have a good time. I've been to countless parties and functions where I chose not to drink certain times. Had a great time when I abstained, but again--I wasn't standing around looking at my watch or shuffling my feet with my hands in my pockets. If I don't drink on a given night, I still act social and have a great time. When I do drink, it's not to get plastered so I can loosen up--it's just to get a slight buzz and feel good---definitely not essential for a good time, though.
Belly's post proved my point. Many teetotalers project a sense of moral superiority, and it's easy to see it when they are out at a function and they are struggling to get through it. I hope the OP is reading this, because it may answer his original question. | |
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| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 1/9/2008 2:15:20 PM | I will only date men who do NOT drink. A man, drinking inpairs his sexual function...........................
Mentally they start behaving goofy. .......................
I drink, because I have to get relaxed to put up with some of you guys, but if you drink, you won't be with me.
Non drinking men only contact me. | |
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| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 1/9/2008 5:09:24 PM | PERSONALLY= I PREFER A NON DRINKER...
At my age bracket it says a lot for his character. AND if they have to get SOUSED to be interested in a woman in her 50's ,
we don't need them....The whole mind is completely out of their control and probably everything else they own also!!!
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| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 1/9/2008 9:09:52 PM | | I'd be tickled pink to find a non drinking man. I'd pass out if he didn't drink and was okay with a woman who had 5 kids. They'd have to use paddles to restart the ticker if he said : No drinking, yes 5 kids, and a few extra pounds is perfect! Ahhhh...me and my dreams...... | |
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