| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 3/19/2006 1:21:43 PM | I don't drink that often but occasionally I like to get "sh*t faced" is that the term?
But not like I'm throwing up or throwing myself on people, I know my limit & stop before I reach that. No, I don't feel the need to drink or go out even monthly.
I just want to find someone for every once & a great while to have fun with even just a bottle of wine at home. It makes me feel weird if the guy I'm with won't drink at all. But I have been with a few & tried to do the whole I'll drink & you won't thing but it just made me feel so uncomfortable like I was a lush or something.
I don't mean all the time just once and awhile lets enjoy a drink, if we go out though one of us or someone in our group has to stay sober!!! no drinking & driving. I just want to be able to get my man drunk & take advantage of him every once & awhile & him do the same to me heehee.
SO GOOD FOR YOU FOR NOT DRINKING, AND STICKING TO YOUR GUNS, IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT YOU DON'T LIKE IT. but for me it makes me feel uncomfortable like there is something wrong with me because I want to drink. Maybe that's how those other women feel also. HOPE YOU FIND THE GIRL YOU WANT SHE'S OUT THERE SOMEWHERE, I KNOW THERE ARE LOTS OF GIRLS WHO DON'T ENJOY ALCOHOL. GOOD LUCK & I WISH YOU THE BEST !!!!!! | |
|
| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 3/19/2006 1:29:48 PM | | I would like to know that as well .. I don't drink . BUT I do karaoke on weekends and it can be fun depending on the place I am at . the wild ones are divorce parties , bachlorette , girls night out . It is not only guys who get drunk . it is also the ladies . BUT what I don't understand is why the woman don't want a guy who treats them good . they tend to go for " the bad boy " type . | |
|
| |
| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 3/19/2006 2:16:07 PM | | ^^I have not been to a bar in 2 months, and before that it was 8 months. Ony time I will go is if there is a group of people for say a birthday or something like that. Or a casual drin with a date. | |
|
| |
a_vamp
|
Joined: 4/24/2004
Msg: 81 | |
| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 3/19/2006 6:33:40 PM | Posted By: wesleyptr
Message: one day i just woke up and decided that i dont want to drink, and its been like that for 5 years
Wow... You commanded some respect for that sort of will-power!
I used to bar-hop with my girl-friends until my current job. I entertain the clients with my boss - that means dinner, drinks and sometimes, nonsense from drunk people (I wanted to vomit SO much when an Indian client wouldn't let go of my hand... Gross!). That is the reason I dun go clubbing or bar-hopping anymore. I just wanna go home and rest properly after work.
The 6 cans of beer I bought from the airport duty-free's been sitting in my fridge for about 5 months now. Still sitting there... | |
|
| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 3/19/2006 6:45:34 PM | Hey Wesley ...I myself dont drink and have a low tolerance for alcohol due to watching someone I cared about go through terrible times...so change what youre looking for ..only you can put boundaries and limits on what youre searching for. | |
|
| |
| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 3/19/2006 8:21:05 PM | Didn't read all the replies to your question but "GOOD FOR YOU"...
Sometimes the issue could be the drinker knows he/she drinks too much and being around someone who doesn't makes him/her feel -quilty, lack of self control, etc...so they try to avoid their issue by putting something on you so they don't have to deal with their own issue.
Non-drinker here myself, but my friends just know that I will be the "designated driver" so they party away...
JackieA | |
|
| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 3/19/2006 8:52:21 PM | | i wouldn't shy away from you. In fact i have great respect for people who can have fun without alcohol. I have not had any alcohol for the last 4 months and I plan to make a life that way. society tells us that we need alcohol to have fun, so everyone goes out drinks it up, messes up their life with alcohol. it is sad. alchohol is such the deceiver i think. | |
|
| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 4/1/2006 5:55:28 PM | This is the same reason I won't date a woman who doesn't drink. If a person doesn't drink, they have a problem, plain and simple. Most likely they are alcoholic or have some irrational issue keeping them from drinking.
Something I've found very common is that they had a bad experience involving alcohol (maybe an alcoholic in the family) and they have come to believe that abhorrent behavior is contained in the bottle. The fact is, that behavior is in the person. The bottle simply has the power to release it.
I am of the opinion that any normally accepted and benign behavior that is totally off limits is a problem area. I once knew a gal who would only have sex in the missionary position because only whores use other positions. | |
|
| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 4/1/2006 6:10:55 PM | | Well first of all I think they need false courage. Which is sad but all the same thats just where they are at. There are women out here who dont drink!! I'm one of them. Don't do the club scene either!! Some men find that also strange but thats just where I'm at!! | |
|
| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 4/1/2006 7:53:00 PM |
If a person doesn't drink, they have a problem, plain and simple. Most likely they are alcoholic or have some irrational issue keeping them from drinking.
You mean a problem or an irrational issue like one of the following?
* They are taking medication that reacts badly with alcohol
* Alcoholism is in their family and they don't want to tempt fate
* They have chosen a religious faith that does not permit it
* At some point in their past they have had hepatitis
* They have no tolerance and get drunk on half a beer (like many Natives and Asians)
* They do not like the taste
* They suffer from stomach ulcers
* They are a new driver and the graduated licence permits no alcohol
* Car insurance costs 25% less if they buy an abstainers policy
* Their job does not permit it (master of a ship, etc.)
Actually, IMHO, the ones who have a problem are generally the ones pushing people to drink. Why not just respect peoples' personal choices? Of course, if you are adamant, just look elsewhere for dates, and cut your possibilities by about one quarter of the whole population. | |
|
| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 4/1/2006 7:58:59 PM | Well i am sorry you have women that get drunk, but to answer your question, i always wonder if they have a drinking problem and are in AA or something which means they could really be an alcoholic. That is my first thought. NOt fair i know. | |
|
| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 4/1/2006 8:02:37 PM | | Years ago I actually dated someone who was in AA. It didn't work out, but not because of any issue over drinking or not drinking. Generally, if you ask somebody if they are in AA they will tell you truthfully - in fact, that is part of their program. Of course a big hint might be that they are out several evenings a week, always on the same nights. | |
|
| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 4/1/2006 8:16:36 PM | I haven't read the other replies but here is why I shy from guys that don't drink:
1) They generally have control issues ie. everything has to be in their control and alcohol causes you not to have complete control!!!!
2)How much fun is it really to hang out with someone who doesn't drink? I have hung out and it is no fun because they generally are judging the people around them for drinking.
Maybe you could prove me wrong, it would be nice if there was someone that truly can hang out and not judge. | |
|
| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 4/1/2006 8:21:18 PM | I would MUCH rather be with someone who doesn't drink at all than be with some idiot who drinks to get drunk. I hate drunkenness, especially to the point of puking. I don't even want to be near anyone who is puking but even more so to be with someone who is purposely making himself puke with drinking!
I do enjoy a half glass of beer or wine with a meal on occasion so I don't mind people who enjoy just a little bit of a drink with a meal. A light drinker or nondrinker is my strong preference. I'll kick a drunkard to the CURB!
Since I am a very light drinker, I would have no problem being with a guy who does not drink at all. I would respect his decision not to drink because it is a reasonable one. I have a friend who cannot drink because she is allergic to alcohol. People choose not to drink for very good reasons.
I saw what happens to severe alcoholics, and have no desire to be with anyone who is alcoholic. My Uncle John lay in a hospital bed a vegetable because he drank too much. He had cirrhosis of the liver, brain damage and other problems because he drank to excess. It was sad to watch this once-witty man drink himself into such severe sickness.
In moderation, or not at all, thank you!! | |
|
| |
| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 5/25/2006 11:00:41 PM | I feel the need to make my first post be on a thread that hasn't had a post in over a month and a half. Why? Because it's important. And possibly, I will hijack it.
Of course, if you are adamant, just look elsewhere for dates, and cut your possibilities by about one quarter of the whole population.
So... you're saying that a quarter of the datable crowd in the US doesn't drink? I think you're off by about a factor of ten.
You mean a problem or an irrational issue like one of the following?
* They are taking medication that reacts badly with alcohol
* Alcoholism is in their family and they don't want to tempt fate
* They have chosen a religious faith that does not permit it
* At some point in their past they have had hepatitis
* They have no tolerance and get drunk on half a beer (like many Natives and Asians)
* They do not like the taste
* They suffer from stomach ulcers
* They are a new driver and the graduated licence permits no alcohol
* Car insurance costs 25% less if they buy an abstainers policy
* Their job does not permit it (master of a ship, etc.)
I'm none of those. For some reason, I still don't drink. I never have. Not even once.
I can't give you a clear, concise reason as to why. They best I can come up with when asked "Why don't you drink?" is, quite simply, "Why should I?" I have yet to receive a worthwhile response. In fact, I have yet to receive anything besides a dumbfounded stare followed by "......so..... why don't you drink?" as if I hadn't said a thing.
I don't think there are too many girls out there that would have a problem with me drinking. In fact, I know there aren't. Practically everyone I know has zero problems with me not drinking. As a matter of fact, it's great if I would drive them around everywhere so they can get plastered.
I'm the one with the problem. I have a distinct problem with being around people that drink. I don't know what it is. Maybe I do. Maybe it's the fact that I know no one, zero people, not one person do I even semi-regularly "hang out" with who can enjoy a night without alcohol. I think that's what puts a damper on my open-mindedness. It'd be far more easy to remotely tolerate being around alcohol if I knew I had somewhere else to go back to that didn't involve it.
Now.... less hijacking and more to the topic of this thread. I don't think, in general, women shy away from non-drinking men. There are some that do, and that's cool. Heck, I just stated that I do the equivalent for drinkers. If you know what you want, dynamite. But I don't think there's a lot. I think pretty much every drinker I know (read: everyone I know) cares nothing about whether or not anyone else drinks.
However, I can say definitively that the number of women who don't drink is miniscule in comparison to those who do. At least, where I live (Philly suburb, Jersey side). I think these are two totally different things. Women around here don't care if a guy doesn't drink.... but they're gonna. So if I, in turn, _DO_ care if a woman drinks.... that cuts my options down by a GIANT amount (way more than your 75% listed above, if you interpolate from your claim).
Just for the record, I should clarify things. I do know girls that don't drink. Most are 16 and under. I don't think they count. I also know a bunch of Mormons living in Utah. Now, there's nothing wrong with that, but I live in Jersey. That's a heckuva commute. I also know a few who are local, but are of a religion that locked them into an arranged marriage years ago (despite that being a declining trend in most Eastern religions that once practiced it.) Their parents don't let them hang out with crazy white boys like myself.
So here's my question... there's a few of you that posted that you don't drink. And you're female. For instance, the post right before mine is from a girl named jazmella (hi, jaz!) She lives in Canada... which kinda supports my point....... but anyway... there are a few of you that do exist. You seem to exist in pockets of extradimensional spaces that are apparently detached from whatever crazy universe I live in. So please... tell me.... where are you? Where do you find people that think differently? Here's a shortlist of what I've tried so far:
Church: the average age at my church is 25. Awesome! However, tha'ts because people are either newborns or 50. There used to be two people around 25. My sister moved out. Now there's one. Woot.
(not) Bars/Clubbing: I've been told to stop looking for people that don't drink at bars. I realize this. I never go to bars, nor do I go clubbing. It's not my style. I like to have fun doing other hundreds of other things. There's nothing wrong with it... it's just not my style.
The library: I can't tell you how many times I've heard this. Guys, it's 2006. We have google adn the wikipedia. Libraries are useless. The only people there are librarians and senile crazies. I know.. I tried hanging out there to read and learn. I quickly became senile, and left before it was permanent. I'm sure you can pick up on the trace residues....
Barnes & Noble: Ok, this one has merit... and honestly, I've thought about it. I seem to invariably wind up getting pulled over to the dnd section (if you don't know what that is.... good. It's a guilty pleasure; leave it at that. If you do... wanna play?) It's a very difficult scene in which to meet people, I think.. at least for me. And you'd think I'd be good at it... I mean, I'm in Quixtar... meeting people at bookstores is what we do =)
Zagara's: I dunno why this is such a popular one. Perhaps non-drinkers are more health conscious, and so they like to shop at a store that sells herb-o-licious foods... whatever the reason, it doesn't matter. The store's been out of business for like... 5 years. Besides, I think trying to meet women, or even just friends of any type, at a supermarket is weird. And not in the "hey, he's weird, but cool!" kinda way. In the "He's weird and creepy" kinda way. And I KNOW all you girls know what "creepy" is. I don't... I've never been able to figure it out... all I know is that you all just have to use that one word... creepy... and you know exactly what the other girl means. And it's never a good thing. So, yeah.... creepy.
Argh... I think I've ranted enough. How's this for a first post? At least I have the benefit of this being a dead thread, thus I have a better chance at avoiding flames....
Oooh, funny story... before I go.... I actually tried to hire a professional to find me a woman in my age range (extending up to like... 6 years OLDER than me). Two professionals. They own a business that's a little like Hitch, that Will Smith movie. Not identical, but kinda similar. Hitch focuses on hooking you up with someone you love. They focus on finding you someone that you'll love. But they're professionals, and extemely successful. They service from Baltimore to NYC. Perfect, right? I offered to double their price. I offerred to double *their* price. I told them I'd pay them with no guarantee of even finding a single person. I told them I wanted someone with two X chromosomes that doesn't drink, everything else is icing on the cake. I even said I'd pay them to search for me... to do an exclusive search.
They said no.
They told me that I was a freak, that it's impossible to go through life without having just a *little* alcohol. They couldn't understand how I could be Italian and Irish and never have alcohol. They said it'd be impossible to find these women, that they'd have to go out recruiting for me, and they'd get nowhere.
These were highly professional, highly skilled people. They have a marvelous success rate (I investigated them heavily). And they said my search would be impossible. They actually recommended I take the money I would have paid them and instead fly out to the aforementioned Utah and live there. They were nice about it, though. Very kind people.
So... that's my story. Firefox is gonna crash again soon, so I'm out for the night. Take care. | |
|
| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 5/25/2006 11:19:05 PM | I used to drink heavily in my teenage years...heavily. It's funny though, I actually stopped drinking when I turned 21. I don't drink anymore because, well for one I hate the taste of all alcohol, but also because during my teenage years I witnessed many people doing many stupid and sometimes terrible things, that I am sure some of you can imagine. I even have gotten into fights to stop 'friends' from litterally raping drunken girls. These were good guys, whose minds at the moment were destroyed by alcohol.
I believe that alcohol has become a bane of society, and, having been around people on almost every drug imaginable, I must say that alcohol is the most dangerous drug we consume. It's also terrible for you...not much else causes your body to actually knock itself out to recover.
Anyways, ya, I don't drink and I am with a girl who was a raging alcoholic (several beers and shots a DAY, could take 36 beers a night), alcohol and the bar were basically her life. She gave it all up for me. | |
|
daisie
|
Joined: 9/22/2004
Msg: 96 | |
| |
| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 5/25/2006 11:33:57 PM | | bud i have the same problem i drink but i dont egt drunk i'll have one or two and thats it but its the sign of the times people just dont like reality and if your not with them you against them ya gots to find your own kind by the way it mabe if she gets to drunk and your not she may think your going to try something when she is past out not saying you would but there is lots of slim balles out there and gives us good guys bad names | |
|
| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 5/25/2006 11:35:21 PM | I would say I like a drink now and then but one of my ex's never had a drink ,ever and I was cool with it.
I wouldn't shy away from a non drinker, I would shy away from a guy who needed to drink all the time to have fun. | |
|
| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 5/25/2006 11:35:33 PM | entrave: She gave it all up for you???? You, sir, had better marry that girl...... and if you ever so much as make her think about crying, I'll have your head on a plate! That is a profound thing to do for another.... very profound... and quite accomplishing for you, indeed, to have shown her the benefits of living differently. I sincerely wish you both the best life imaginable!
daisie: You're right, all women don't avoid non-drinkers. In fact, most people in general are cool with non-drinkers. I think I said that somewhere in my diatribe. The one with the shoulder chip is me -- I want a non-drinker, and thus far, they don't exist in this geographical area in any substantial quantity. | |
|
| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 5/25/2006 11:40:40 PM | | i agree wes, ive never been much of a drinker but my ex alcoholic gf drank so much it completely turned me off booze and the women enslaved to it, also the phrase i just wanna go out n have fun , gawd that phrase just irks me to no end, there ared ecent women out there that arent lushes u just reaaaaaaallly have to sort thru em to find one, i know its a costly search u lose 3/4s of the women right off the bat because thats how they associate fun drinking n dancing n hanging out in meat markets, another reason i left them holes, get drunk dance get sweaty drink more fall down get picked up n suck facewith the guy that picked ur drunken asss off the floor types, u dont want them type anyways by the time theyre in there 40s their livers n bladders will b shot n theyll b pissin all over ur house so in the end yopull still b further ahead | |
|
Home
login 
