| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 5/25/2006 11:44:39 PM | ....meat markets?
You made a decent set of points:
o It's a costly search
o 3/4 off the top are gone because "going out" == alcohol
o "reaaaaaaally have to sort through them..." Indeed. So far, it's all chaff, no wheat. | |
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| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 5/25/2006 11:44:42 PM | | to thew guy that thinks a person that dosnt drink has a problem sheesh man getting shit face is a thing of the past and something you did when youwere a kid kinda grow out of it by the way if ya dont think you have a drinking problem its because you seround yourself with people that have the same problem as you and you hide behind it engoring the shit that happens with it like worng relationships break ups lieing cheating and loseing all sence of reality and morals hey what are those right i never had a drinking problem and i do like a beer after work but dose me buying a case of beer and haveing it last a month do i have a problem of not drinking or howabout my mom that has never had a drop not one inher life dose she have a proble why is that cause you cant hide your problem thats why jealous cause you cant conrtol you problem and blameing and putting others that either have control or takeing back there life you should be ashamed of yourself i bet you think if your not white and a cristian your a slim bucket right you red neck grow up get a life stay sober and live life for what it is life not to want to for get it live it | |
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| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 5/25/2006 11:46:25 PM |
get drunk dance get sweaty drink more fall down get picked up n suck facewith the guy that picked ur drunken asss off the floor types,
Wow you know my type pretty good Trubb!..ROLMAO! Just Kidding!
I dunno, I like to have someone to sit with and have a few drinks with by the fire or go for dinner and have a couple beers or something. Don't have to get shitfaced but, I DO LIKE my beers on the weekends. | |
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| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 5/26/2006 6:43:40 AM | | Nothing wrong with anyone not drinking alcohol. Does not mean you can't have a good time. If any women think that a guy who does not drink has something wrong, that is sad. Just because he does not drink alcohol does not mean he will get all bent if you do. It is a personal choice. Same as smoking pot or cigarettes. I only drink casually, and last time was 3 weeks ago in Las Vegas, and I do not smoke. I do not frown upon those who do none of those. Big deal. | |
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| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 5/26/2006 7:21:54 AM | | I don't drink either except for a glass of wine a couple times a year. I just don't like the taste of alcohol or how it makes me feel. There are lots of women who don't drink. I wish I could meet a man who doesn't. The last man I dated said that he didn't drink. It turned out that he didn't get drunk several nights a week anymore.. only on weekends. I wasn't impressed. | |
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| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 5/26/2006 10:23:56 AM | | OP, in my case it depends on why the person doesn't drink. If they choose not to drink that often that's one thing (I'm not a huge drinker myself, neither are most of my family and friends)...but if they *can't* drink because they're an alcoholic, then that's not something I want to deal with ever again. I dealt with one once and that was plenty. Perhaps these people have the idea that you have problems with alcohol and don't want to be involved with that? Don't get me wrong, it's nice to have a romantic dinner and some wine, or sip a margarita out by the pool when barbecuingm but I can be just as happy sitting over a cup of coffee as over a glass of wine (and when driving my limit is 1 or 2 depending on how long I'm there), but I also don't want the person I'm with to get drunk...male or female, to me it's simply not attractive. | |
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hera
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Joined: 5/26/2006
Msg: 108 | |
| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 5/26/2006 11:48:14 AM | | Quite a few people who drink are uncomfortable drinking around those who don't drink. Maybe they feel self-conscious or judged or feel like you can't relate to them because you're not doing the same thing... | |
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| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 5/26/2006 3:31:25 PM | Awesome, I'm boring because I don't drink! Whoo hoo! I can add another notch in my keyboard. I don't drink because I have an addictive personality, not because I'm an alchoholic specifically. Me myself, I want a chick who drinks occasionally or not at all. I like going to a pool hall and telling them, "Give me a Mtn. Dew on the rocks." hahah.
~Aurora | |
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| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 5/26/2006 4:06:07 PM | I have been sober for twenty three years and counting and I have to say that I do not have a problem with the person I am with having a few drinks,it is whaen they have numerous drinks and start acting comfortably numb.I do not put my morals onto anyone so I expect the same courtesy,I do not see it as a good thing when somebody cannot respect the person they are with and have a lack of control.I do not drink for a very good reason and the behaviour of a drunk only upsets my evening I would never do anything to upset the other persons evening so why do they think that it is ok to do that to me.I have even had dates who have tried to find out what it would be like to see me drunk,why I am not to sure but some have spiked my drink.I go to pubs,lounges but never bars and I only go where I know people in the place.
I think a lot of this has to do with people are unable to deal witht hat kind of self control,and it might even intimidate them int being uncomfortable and then they want to see you a bit more in their realm of comfortable.So they try to make you feel uneasy,and with that gain a bit of control,or lack there of.I found that when I drank it was to remove my inhibitions and act what I thought was right for the situation but I lost more than my inhibitions I lost my control and dignity and then realizing this I fixed it,now I have the control and dignity but it seems to me that this is something that puts women off for some reason.I have yet to find a woman who is not at some point put off by this and I have to say if it is the alcohol that makes the GOOD time then I wonder about why they consider it a good time.I have heard this phrase and uttered it many years ago"Ah man I got totally drunk last night it was so good I had so much fun"why is it we have to lose all control of our faculties in order to have some fun,and why is it we cannot be ourselves and be admired for this accomplishment and have respect of our wishes as we give the same respect to our dates etc. | |
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wbeach
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Joined: 8/4/2005
Msg: 112 | |
| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 5/26/2006 10:15:10 PM | Hey wesleyptr,
I feel your pain man. I don't know if woman don't like me because I don't drink, but I know that I often times have been made to feel socially outcast because I don't drink.
I see it like this because people don't like to drink alone. Like its a social thing. You go out you drink you have a good time.
What happens when you don't drink?? When I don't drink I'm ususally drinking pepsi laughing at other people making jokes, dancing and having a good time, but people look at the pepsi and I'm constantly asked, are you bored, or are you actually having a good time.
I wonder if I don't get invited because people don't think I have a good time when everyone goes out drinking.
Ahh well I suppose the mystery will never really be solved.
Laters | |
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| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 5/27/2006 11:08:12 AM | I have the same issue with men. I'm not a recovering drunk by any means, just don't like the taste or smell of alcohol and do NOT like the company of drunks. It personally takes the fun out of just about anything to have drinkers around getting tanked up.
If a guy drinks, he can do it with his buddies at elk camp or he can go out with friends and sleep it off in another room. As long as I do not have to smell it or put up with him when he's been drinking we are totally ok. I don't prevent anybody from going out or having drinks, just be respectful and do not involve me and be responsible is all I ask. I have yet to date a guy that drinks who respects that. They all have gotten tanked up and tried forcing the issue and wanted to be in my face. I realy have no room for somebody with that much disrespect for a significant other.
When I meet a guy who can go out with friends and come home and NOT try to force the issue, of climbing into bed or being around me until he sobers up and gets all the alcohol smell off of him, is when I will consider dating another drinker. | |
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| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 5/27/2006 11:18:36 AM | Let's see we got women who don't like it when a guy does not drink alcohol, we got women who do not like a guy if he does not drive, we got women who do not like a guy if he does not make a certain amount, we got women who do not like a guy based on his living accomodations, we got women who do not like a guy who does not smoke pot.
What has happened in this world? Why all the judging? If men are to be the pursuers to women, then why is there so much based on not how we are towards a woman but what we have and what we do? Do those two factors make who a person really is towards you? That sets the precident?
It is no wonder many guys now want to stay single for good. Less complications and less BS.
Come on ladies, let's hear the reasons why those things I listed are so important. And do not come back and say well you guys this and that. I am not bashing you and this is not a flame war. Just seems there is so much animosity thrown at us men if we do not match up to those factors. | |
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| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 5/27/2006 11:33:38 AM | If you are talking to women who still think they can only have fun hanging in a bar, then you will find most of them will shoot you down..There is LIFE AND FUN outside a bar !!!..lol
Depending on ages and mentality too many who hang in bars, get dressed up and go to one on a week-end, thinking they can not have fun without a beer in the hand..Somehow drinking=fun..A strange concept, but one many feel and if you don't drink, they somehow think you are boring or no fun..Myself, I find a drunk boring and no fun and I can not stand the smell of the stuff..My last Bf would kiss me after he drank and I had to fight from throwing up while we kissed..(not apretty site!)
Personally, I've had trouble finding a man who doesn't drink or who at least only drinks on special Occasions. I do not drink, a personal choice, ...my last bf was an alcoholic and that experience has really soured me on the whole drinking thing..
Don't lose faith ...Good Luck | |
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| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 5/27/2006 11:41:10 AM | | I would have to say the opposite it true I think women love a guy who isnt drinking and getting drunk. I would never date a guy who drank to much actually almost all the guys I have ever dated in my life barely drank except for an occational beer or glass of wine. I would suggest you stop trying to meet people in your local bars thats where people who like to drink go. I think you are really meeting a small percentage of the population where ever you are going to meet these people. Why are you attracted to a women who was a drunk anyway dont you think you would have fun with someone who didnt drink to much like you. I found your post strange. | |
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| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 5/27/2006 11:43:02 AM | | who would want to get into a car with a man who was drinking anyway?? the fines here in NY for dwi are really tough. I find a drunk person very very unattractive. And from what i hear men dont do so well in the bedroom when they are drunk either. | |
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| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 5/27/2006 11:47:03 AM | Dear "Wesleyptr,"
No doubt most people on this forum are well aware that alcohol is not a stimulant but a depressant. Anyone whose definition of sex into the next galaxy, obviously hasn't made love with the right person. Sober. | |
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| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 5/27/2006 11:48:12 AM | When I first started going out to the local bar and the local pub, I'd bring my tea or something, leave mymug there, and get a lot of pressure to drink. I have no reason to drink, I don't react the way most people do and find no pleasure in it. I like the taste of two alcohols, and I'd sip, savoring the taste, but get pressure beause I wasn't slamming them. It's been a year, and the end result is these barfly regulars have quit smoking, they rarely drink more than a light beer and they are having fun and never pressure me. They learned they CAN have fun, loosen up, and have a *better* night for having been sober. It took reverse pressure. These good time buddies of mine are a blast to hang with, if I don't show up they come hunting me down to find if I need a ride or a sitter-am I a lot of fun? I'm a dork, but the fun is in the 'tude. People who don't get that, haven't matured in their fun department.
Having been married to a man who loved his alcohol too much, I'd say you are in for a WORLD of pain if you get involved with a heavy drinker. Shoot them down first. Walk away. With tea in hand.
Gini | |
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| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 5/27/2006 12:14:24 PM | I don't drink not because I'm legally not allowed to but because alcohol tastes bitter and weird and is too harmful anyway.That's why I don't shy away from men who do not drink.But on another note, I actually do shy away from all men the same....because I am too shy in real life. | |
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| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 5/27/2006 1:06:11 PM | [Let's see we got women who don't like it when a guy does not drink alcohol, we got women who do not like a guy if he does not drive, we got women who do not like a guy if he does not make a certain amount, we got women who do not like a guy based on his living accomodations, we got women who do not like a guy who does not smoke pot.
What has happened in this world? Why all the judging? If men are to be the pursuers to women, then why is there so much based on not how we are towards a woman but what we have and what we do? Do those two factors make who a person really is towards you? That sets the precident?
It is no wonder many guys now want to stay single for good. Less complications and less BS.
Come on ladies, let's hear the reasons why those things I listed are so important. And do not come back and say well you guys this and that. I am not bashing you and this is not a flame war. Just seems there is so much animosity thrown at us men if we do not match up to those factors.]
Like men do not have the same requirements
I've seen MANY profiles from men (and I am not talking attractive fit ones either) that want 1) a fashion model 2) a woman who makes X amount of money; more than a lower end job 3) a woman without kids 4) a woman who wants kids; or one who doesn't want kids, etc.
It is funny to look at a photo of a fat guy (that calls himself 'average' or athletic and toned, beer drinking is NOT a sport and beer bellies are not part of athletic build) that demands a skinny, petite, and hot looking woman (last I saw Faith Hill was married to Tim McGraw and not Danny Devito). Then there's the guys who make 25-35K with a HS education with the requirements the woman they want be 35-50K employed AND have at least a bachelors degree??? How about the guy with 3 kids of his own who only wants women who DO NOT have children but want his? Or the guy with 3 kids that wants a woman who doesn't have or want children?
On the flip side there's the successful guys that DO NOT want a woman who is educated, just the mute/dumb arm candy to pack around and show off? Or the successful guy who wants a woman who makes a decent living and has a strong career as a prequalifier; yet just wants to make a housewife and stay at home mom out of her (of which education, career, and income potential is irrelevant)?
I've ran into quite a lot of guys who are 420 friendly but do NOT want a woman who does drugs. Yet will totally have a fit if he meets a woman that doesn't do drugs and doesn't want a man who is a pot smoker either. I've seen profiles of habitual drinkers who do NOT want a woman who drinks. Or smokers that will not date a woman who smokes.
Women aren't the only picky ones in this game. I have seen a lot of fat guys that do NOT want to even conceive of dating a BBW; even though they are one themselves. I laugh everytime I read a "broke, fat, ugly, lazy, undecuated guy wants tiny, cute, submissive, educated, well employed fashion model" profile.
Maybe many of these guys are single for long periods of time because no cute, educated, financially secure fashion model has to sink that low or because his standards are way higher for a woman he's dreaming to be with than what he holds himself to.
I do well in life and the last thing I need is a dumb lazy bum to create more work for me. I have an occupational code of conduct that also transfers to a significant other. I get hooked up with somebody who can't hold to that standard and I loose my career and business. | |
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| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 5/27/2006 2:29:58 PM | I've had people tell that I should drink even if I don't like it and that I'm "weird"
because I don't drink. Like it's the adult thing to do. I choose not to drink because...
1-I don't like the taste.
2-Don't like the idea of being drunk. I have no idea how I'd behave.
3-I have alcoholism in my family.
4-I used to work at a club, and saw too many people making fools out of themselves.
If people think I'm a drag, then so be it. | |
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| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 5/27/2006 4:24:21 PM | | I dont do that. Listen I was married to an alcoholic for 10 years. Social drinking is fine, no drinking at all better. But he would drink an entire case every single night. He was a functioning alcoholic. It ultimately led to our demise. I think its awesome if a man doesnt drink. You dont need it to have fun...... | |
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| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 5/28/2006 10:52:36 PM | I'm allergic to alcohol...I drink, I could die. I can manage a sip or two before the problems start so I've tasted everything but I can't drink more than that. I've been that way since I was 24. Ya know, it's not a tough decision here, I think I'll take door "no booze". I don't drink caffienated beverages either -- allergies too. Dairy is out too. Allergic to smoke, don't do drugs 
I'm not comfortable around drunk people either and I definitely do not like it when my date gets pie-faced, in fact, I'd prefer he not drink at all. Getting plastered every now and then, that's fine, I can handle it. Every weekend? Six beers a night? Sorry, NEXT. Drink and drive? How dumb can you get?
I can see that at your age, OP, you'd really be pressured about alcohol. Alcohol is a common fuel for social events and to not drink is to be outside the pack. The older you get the lesser the importance is placed on alcohol although it can become a habit -- the social drink. If you want to "blend" in, go virgin. I love virgin caesars, or drink near beer (if you can stand the taste). For those champagne moments, have gingerale in a champagne flute. I always pack a bottle of fizzie water for parties and I drink Club Soda with a lime wedge at the bar.
I don't understand why people get drunk..but that's just me. It's never made any sense at all to me even when I was young, all those long years ago
Regards,
Ragz | |
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| why do women shy away from guy that doesnt drink??
Posted: 5/28/2006 11:04:01 PM | OP: I don't know if I could speak for women on this, but i'll speak as a guy that could put this on the opposite foot--I have been with women that didn't drink at all, and it is definetely a challenge. On one hand, it's cool that I know that I have a designated driver, but on the other hand, I enjoy a good woman that can relax with a couple beer now and then. Alcoholics= different story, but even if it's an every weekend thing, i'm cool with that. To me, getting hammered can really lead to some interesting stories, too.....just as long as you know the limits, and don't make too much of an ass out of yourselves!
I admire those that don't drink, but I just don't think I could ever be with someone that doesn't drink very often, simply because I like to enjoy a beer here and there and not get the impression that i'm doing something wrong. Because in the other person's mind--and what you really have to consider--is that if you're not drinking, and they are, they feel like they might be doing something wrong. Or it makes them uncomfortable. | |
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