| Long Term Relationships and Marriage
Posted: 3/16/2006 6:40:19 AM | Msg 19:
As much as possible I believe it is good when we try not to be judgemental of others
Chicadog... I appreciate your opinion about having the choice between marriage and shacking up. I fully support everyone's right to do as they wish to. I do, however, respectfully disagree with not being judgemental about others and I respectfully submit my 98-cent opinion in that regard.
We ought to be judgemental of others' actions. We (the people) are judgemental on a daily basis. We choose to assosicate or not associate with people, businesses, entities etc. because of how we perceive their actions and whether those actions are something that we agree with or are contrary to our own beliefs/thinking/opinions. Humans are the intelligent species and if we do not use our intelligence to make judgements about anything and everything, we would be no better than the animals. For example, some people prefer not to date other people who smoke. To some degree, it is being judgemental. Same thing with some people who do not want to date others who have small kids. That is a form of being judgemental.
I believe people should take a position on whatever it is and keep an open mind about changing that position if at some point they realize it was wrong. Should we be non-judgemental about the terror attacks of 9/11 and the ones since then? Should we be non-judgemental about the atrocities of the former Iraqi dictator? Should we be non-judgemental about the suppression of women in Afghanistan? Whether we choose to be selectively judgemental, we are judgemental and it is a good thing. | |
|
| Long Term Relationships and Marriage
Posted: 3/16/2006 6:52:40 AM | I was glad I got married when I found out I was pregnant. I always thought it wouldn't mean anything to me either way but in retrospect I knew that he married me for me and not because I was going to have his kid. Would I do it again? I doubt it. LTR for me means maybe living together. I don't think I want another one of those pieces of paper anymore. It was way harder to get out of it than it was going in. If it was important to my SO then I would consider it, for a very long time though.
Luna | |
|
| |
| Long Term Relationships and Marriage
Posted: 3/16/2006 12:02:22 PM |
Whether we choose to be selectively judgemental, we are judgemental and it is a good thing.
We're not talking about judging people's actions against others- that's a whole other can of worms, but we shouldn't judge people for the decisions people make about how to live their own lives. You don't like it, find someone else to talk to, but don't criticize them for it. Living together without getting married is hardly the same issue as an Iraqi dictator. You're comparing apples and elephants. | |
|
| Long Term Relationships and Marriage
Posted: 3/16/2006 12:54:40 PM | I am violating one of your conditions, but I Felt I had to say something in response. If you find someone with whom you have a good relationship you will want to find ways to stay in that relationship. If marriage is part of that way to stay in it, then you will marry. I have had several relationships, and have found that it is, and was,
clear why they were not worth holding on to.
With the experience I now have, I can see what is important. No longer do I hold on to a relationship that has
nowhere to go. No longer do I hold on to a relationship where I am trying to " fix" my partner, or trying to find
ways for them to accept the things that they should accept, because they are a part of me. No longer do I maintain a relationship where my partner's sexual abilities are hampered by early life experiences, or even by
recent life experiences. I am now looking for a new person with whom I can share this motto; " Let me be there for that wonderland that only two can share, and to go on being there FOR THE KIND OF PARTNER FOR ME.
Thanks for giving me a chance to say something about this. [ also, thanks for Olivia Newton John, for putting these sentiments into music.]
  | |
|
| |
| Long Term Relationships and Marriage
Posted: 3/16/2006 1:09:05 PM | Thanks for the quick response. I feel better having had the chance to say that to you, and to know that
others may also find it a contribution to finding a better way to live. If those conditions are fulfilled it can't
be all that bad. | |
|
Home
login 