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RIM20
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Joined: 3/23/2006
Msg: 29 | |
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RIM20
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Joined: 3/23/2006
Msg: 30 | |
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| You might be a redneck if...
Posted: 4/14/2006 9:23:28 PM | You might be a redneck if you get rid of butt hair by lighting a match when you fart  | |
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1FAKnd
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Joined: 9/13/2005
Msg: 32 | |
| You might be a redneck if...
Posted: 4/14/2006 9:28:45 PM | Redneck Computer Lingo:
"Hard drive" -- Trying to climb a steep, muddy hill with 3 flat tires and pulling a trailer load of fertilizer.
"Keyboard" ---- Place to hang your truck keys.
"Window" ------ Place in the truck to hang your guns.
"Floppy" ------ When you run out of Polygrip.
"Modem" ------- How you got rid of your dandelions.
"ROM" --------- Delicious when you mix it with coca cola.
"Byte" -------- First word in a kiss-off phrase.
"Reboot" ------ What you do when the first pair gets covered with barnyard stuff.
"Network" ----- Activity meant to provide bait for your trot line.
"Mouse" ------- Fuzzy, soft thing you stuff in your beer bottle in order to get a free case.
"LAN" -------- To borrow as in, "Hey Delbert! LAN me yore truck."
"Cursor" ------ What some guys do when they are mad at their wife and/or girlfriend.
"bit" --------- A wager as in, "I bit you can't spit that watermelon seed across the porch longways."
"digital control" -- What yore fingers do on the TV remote.
"packet" ------ What you do to a suitcase or Wal-Mart bag before a trip. | |
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| You might be a redneck if...
Posted: 4/14/2006 9:44:20 PM | If the people in your trailer park don't invite you to a kegger party because they think you are white trash | |
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| You might be a redneck if...
Posted: 4/14/2006 10:51:42 PM | You might be a redneck if...
You have to repaint the water tower to defend your sisters name.
Your grandma comes out of the bathroom and says "come in here'n take a look at this"
Redneck words:
witchidigi - "You didn't bring yer sister witchidigi?" | |
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| You might be a redneck if...
Posted: 4/14/2006 11:46:20 PM | You might be a redneck if....
You don't know anyone who wasn't pregnant when they got married.
You became a grandma at 32.
You keep your old washer on the porch for spare parts.
Your bedroom slippers are your good shoes.
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| You might be a redneck if...
Posted: 4/15/2006 7:09:44 AM | The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your spouse.
You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of HER kids.
Last year you hid Easter eggs under cow pies.
You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.
Jack Daniels makes your list of "Most Admired People."
You think Genitalia is an Italian airline.
Anyone in your family ever died right after saying, "Hey y'all, watch this!" | |
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| You might be a redneck if...
Posted: 4/15/2006 9:18:09 AM | Your buffet table is an ironing board
You wear a strapless dress with a bra that isn't
When you see a sign that says "Say No To Crack," it reminds you to pull your jeans up. | |
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| You might be a redneck if...
Posted: 4/18/2006 1:21:49 PM | | If you share your teeth with your honey....afterall...grandpa is still whittling the second set | |
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| You might be a redneck if...
Posted: 4/21/2006 3:40:32 AM | You use paper towells after a jaccuzi.
You think the movie "scent of a woman" is the french version of "a fish called wanda."
You don't cancel the visa card your wife lost cuz the thief who stole is using it less than she was.
You ever stayed up 'til mornin' to watch a sunset. | |
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| You might be a redneck if...
Posted: 4/28/2006 9:55:54 PM | what does a tornado have in common with an Alabama divorce???
some poor bast*rd's gonna lose a trailer | |
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NateC
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Joined: 4/10/2006
Msg: 45 | |
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| You might be a redneck if...
Posted: 5/3/2006 2:45:41 PM | YOu let your 14 year old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.
You have been married 3 times and still have the same in-laws.
Your junior prom offered day care.
Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
The Holloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your wife.
One of your kids was born at a pool table.
You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattos.
You have to go outside to get something from the fridge. | |
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| You might be a redneck if...
Posted: 5/28/2006 9:09:04 PM | If you have ever had your nipple bit off by a beaver your a redneck
If you ate said beaver above after it nibbled on your rooster also, you might be a redneck....especially if you think that sounds sexually stimulating | |
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| You might be a redneck if...
Posted: 5/29/2006 2:42:52 PM | | While on a road trip you don't play the license plate game, you play "Indentify the road kill"! | |
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| You might be a redneck if...
Posted: 5/29/2006 4:37:58 PM | ...your favorite passtime includes sitting in your recliner on the porch in your underwear...scratchin yourself...drinkin beer...watchin traffic fly down the highway. (I think Jeff Foxworthy used that one)
...the weeds in your front yard are taller than the trees!
...your idea of a tuxedo includes a flannel shirt, jeans, and a bow tie! | |
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