Quack
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Joined: 12/17/2004
Msg: 26 | |
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| why is it so hard to find that special man
Posted: 2/9/2005 6:45:47 PM | | Make 'em sweat ... make 'em leave. I agree. There's got to be communication ... or someone ends up looking like that stupid coyote in the cartoons. not a nice place to be. But honeyko ... dude ... you gotta work on those bedside manners. Get a hooker! | |
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edn33
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Joined: 2/10/2005
Msg: 28 | |
| why is it so hard to find that special man
Posted: 2/10/2005 8:27:27 AM | This question can also be turned into 'Why is it so hard to find that special woman ?'
I guess the difficulty arises because of the standards we have set for ourselves. If we have a very high regard of ourselves (and this is usually the case) then we naturally expect the person of the opposite sex to have an equally high standard.
Lowering your standards might help but this is only a temporary measure as you are only kidding yourself. The moment you wake up someday and realise that the other person is not up to par, you will be disappointed. Frustration takes over and then depression.
I guess that is why it is so difficult to find that special someone eventhough this world has probably something like 3 billion people.
But I suppose the most important thing to do is to keep on looking and perhaps that is the only thing you can still do. I too have been looking for the past 15 years - and it has been some wait till today.
The only thing that makes me carry on is the believe there is light at the end of the tunnel. | |
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| why is it so hard to find that special man
Posted: 2/11/2005 11:05:30 AM | I can say the same thing here too, men have just as much problems finding a good woman. I think that problem is that, there is too much game playing. So, everyone has to remain on their guard... Just be honest and say what you want, but forget about the games for change?
All it does is, waist time and hurt people along the way. | |
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| why is it so hard to find that special man
Posted: 2/11/2005 8:34:04 PM | ladygee4444 on 06-09-2004 06:43 PM
Subject: why is it so hard to find that special man
Message: can anyone tell me....the guys i meet seem to feel it is ok to treat me real nice to start with then a few dates down the line poooof it all goes wrong, i'm not to clingy i dont check up on them all the time and i am very loving, its so annoying what am i doing wrong....any ideas
You're dating the wrong kind of guy. So many girls I know go for the stereotypical "biker outlaw dude" and secretly want to change him.
This is the dude who might look presentable on the outside, but is a bad boy on the inside. He creates feelings of “excitement” and usually dates or has dated a lot of women. (I’m speaking from experience.)
These women finally settle down with a "nice guy" when they realize their time is running out, and most outlaw biker guys are broke.
10 years after marrying the boring "nice guy" they dump him and date a few biker boys again, and repeat the process all over again.
Some of the richest women I know pulled this off without a hitch 3 or 4 times.
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| why is it so hard to find that special man
Posted: 2/11/2005 11:27:50 PM | Because what you are doing is called "the process of elimination" kiss enough toads & you are bound to trip upon that handsome prince. Be pacient, call it........ "Their loss"...............
NEXT....................     | |
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| why is it so hard to find that special man
Posted: 2/12/2005 11:39:33 AM | What does it mean to make a man 'sweat'? What, play hard to get? Pretend you aren't interested?
How is that going to make a person's interest wax? Wouldn't it wane, if he had any measure of respect for himself?
Now, as for sex...if that's what a man refers to when he is 'sweating it out', then too bad. I don't have sex with anyone until I am comfortable with them, and that takes a while. I don't play hard to get and I do let them know I am very interested in them. However, sex is intimate, and for me it is VERY special. That comes after I feel an emotional, intellectual and physical connection to someone. If they leave before that because they're tired of waiting, then it is obvious to me that they weren't that 'special' someone to begin with.
But making them 'sweat'....isn't that just playing head games? What if you make that 'special' person that ends up being a perfect match for you 'sweat' it out? What if they pack up and leave, losing interest in you, before you have the chance to discover that they were that 'special' someone?
Nahh.....games are for kids. | |
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| What I get a kick out of...
Posted: 2/13/2005 7:21:15 PM | Ever see those profiles that say "No head games!"
Its in a lot of women's profiles on dating sites. I assume it means, they're tired of head games and don't want to play them any more.
In my experience, these people don't want to be played by head games, however they feel fully entitled to play you with head games.
I'm sick of the dating politics. | |
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| why is it so hard to find that special man
Posted: 2/13/2005 8:00:59 PM | | Its not a gender specific thing. The problem is that most people are either unable or unwilling to give of themselves. Its easier to deny ones feelings than it is to experience them and possibly making yourself vulnerable. its just basic fear and selfishness combined. If your unlucky enough to also care about someone like that. That doesnt even know that they are emotionally constipated, and are hurtful, you're in trouble. Run. Cause what they'll do is treat you like there is something wrong with you and not them. Trying to convince you they're right, and they will. It can really get ugly, and painful. | |
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| why is it so hard to find that special man
Posted: 2/14/2005 6:50:27 AM | Well ....I say why look for Mr Right look for Mr. right now and eventually the now will go away if he's the right one for you . ...Soo... have fun and be yourself and it will happen when you least expecite it  ..... or hell sometimes it was always there and it takes awhile to see it but it is there and it will find you just when you quite looking
Summer  | |
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| why is it so hard to find that special man
Posted: 2/14/2005 8:24:35 PM | | Well, the same thing can be said for a special woman... Good things, are hard to find... But special, is even harder... Or, it wouldn't be worth finding... | |
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| why is it so hard to find that special man
Posted: 2/14/2005 11:52:01 PM | | well it's eather your expectations are to high or you just have not met the right guy. Maybee we can start talking and we can take it from there.If you want to know anything about me just type and ask. I love life and enjoy my family and friends.I really like the outdoors and love a good glass of wine with a great meal that I've cooked.So anyways if I dont hear from you I hope you find what you are looking for have a great day. | |
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| why is it so hard to find that special man
Posted: 2/15/2005 2:49:27 PM | Well in my area the big problem is there is more emphasis placed on what a guy has or how much they think he makes. Women around her date a guy because he drives an 80,000 dollar car, not because he is a nice guy.
I was told once by a woman when I picked her up to go on a date that we would have to take her car (a Lexus) because she couldn't be seen in a pick up truck. Which by the way cost about 10,000 more than that foreign piece of crap but that’s beside the point. I could be the nicest guy in the world but that doesn't seem to be what is important to women in my area. I don’t even like to tell women what I do because if you’re a blue collar worker you might as well forget it. That was the shortest date I have ever been on we didn't even make it out of her drive.
I don’t know if it is like this in other areas but that is the biggest problem I see around here. I’m not saying all women or even you’re that way but it’s just an observation from my experience. I have never cheated on anyone, never hit a woman, and always have treated each one with respect and each one dumped me or cheated as soon as someone making over 100,000 a year came along. In the long run it’s their loss and my gain who wants someone that superficial anyways.
I think the big problem is some men and women (including my self) tend to be attracted to the wrong types a lot of times and unfortunately we don't see it right away. We want to be in a relationship so bad I think we sometimes jump in with blinders on. What’s the answer, if I knew that I would be making 100,000 grand a year and making appearances on Opera. LOL | |
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On2JP
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Joined: 7/24/2004
Msg: 46 | |
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| why is it so hard to find that special man
Posted: 3/7/2005 10:35:03 PM | For me to find the right lady seems to incorporate kissing alot of "frogettes"
I have been married 3 times and the best was actually #1
If she had not become a drunk then who knows
6 yrs ago when our oldest daughter died, she actually appologized to me
What I really want to find in a special lady is very simple
Honesty, comminment and lots of communication
I am 56 but I really feel alot younger (except the days my back acts up)
A "special" person is only "special" to the other person when you are "in love"
The recent "frogettes" are women who post pictures that are not them or who lie to you about who they really are
Being open and honest about who you are is what makes the difference in finding a "special" person
My 3rd wife admitted to me about 1.5 yrs ago that she pretended to be something she was not just to "catch" me - she turned out to be a very abusive woman
I want a lady who will hold me close and love me for who I am
I am tired of being the romantic and being treated like dirt | |
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| why is it so hard to find that special man
Posted: 3/8/2005 4:33:24 PM | Right on ... games are for kids.. why cant we all just speak our minds?
If we are into playing games initially wont that always be our style... share yourself openly doesnt mean one has to sleep together right away.. if the connection is special, if both are interested then sex shows up when it should..
Honesty needs to show up right away I think.. but hey I dont follow anyone elses rules and no one should follow mine.. lol
Be real.. or be gone.. If the relationship is going to last.. games dont work so why bother to begin with..
As per why is it so hard to find a good man... we all attract what we need to learn from.. and we wont be with the "one" till we are the "one" to ourselfs.. so growth is the way to attract better quality people.. in all areas of life | |
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| why is it so hard to find that special man
Posted: 3/9/2005 2:22:38 AM | | i wrote this thread because i was fed up meeting men that were so nice in the begining and then all of a sudden poof its all change they don't want you anymore.....apart from the fact this is very hurtful and each time it happens a little bit more of my confidence breaks away...i think i am an honest loving person...all i am looking for is someone who will accept me for who i am and not what they want me to be...i am honest (maybe to honest) and dont know what i do wrong its very frustrating to be loved one minute then dumped the next....its not as if i have been with lots of men.....one guy wanted me to jump into bed with him after only meeting me an hour...am i doing wrong by not jumping in to the sack on the first date......i have morals and think its not the done thing am i wrong in thinking this...ideas gratefully received | |
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bemo
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Joined: 3/8/2005
Msg: 50 | |
| why is it so hard to find that special man
Posted: 3/9/2005 4:19:19 AM | | Turn it around so that you are the one with the agenda. Find a man you like. then do things you would like to spend time doing. Save the romance for later. Just do fun things together. You're stuck in a dating rut trying to have the same perfect romance each time. The men you are dating see the romance dates as seducation opportunities. They romance you for a while then give up. So save the romance for way later after feelings develop from spending time together. Have play dates, nor romance dates. Then you will not be starting ill-fated seduction rituals that end in disspointment for both of you. | |
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