| My best friend is dating a sleaze!!!!!
Posted: 3/16/2006 4:07:23 PM | FELANIE..oh my god this is so insane.
Please call the Ministry for Children and Families.
What you describe here falls into the guidelines of what is considered abuse. They are being exposed to sexual behaviour. They are being left home alone?? That could get her charged with neglect and child endangerment.
You dont need to tell them who you are. And if you did it is illegal for the Ministry to divulge where the information came from. And if its like you say, she'l have no idea who has called.
*Felanie, it is a crime punishable in Canada NOT to report suspected abuse or neglect.
If something happens to those kids you can be charged yourself for failing to report this. You are bound by law.
Hon do the right thing...for the kids | |
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| My best friend is dating a sleaze!!!!!
Posted: 3/16/2006 4:09:59 PM | | and also...Im thinking the child molester thing makes alot of sense....he is in the process of sexualizing them as it is by modelling that behaviour. So is mom. | |
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| My best friend is dating a sleaze!!!!!
Posted: 3/16/2006 4:18:40 PM | | All you can do is what you did and tell her. Its not unlike an intervention of sorts. True friends will tell you that they care and support you but wont tolerate bad behavior. I come out of a cronic party lifestyle and when I finally grew up, I had to leave many friends behind. Its not like i'm not still their friend or dont care about them, but, I cant put myself in that environment. If your friends lifestyle is setting a bad example for your children and making you uncomfortable then all you can do is tell her how you feel, like you did, and say you'll be there for her when she decides to grow up. | |
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| My best friend is dating a sleaze!!!!!
Posted: 3/16/2006 4:26:10 PM | I just read this thread and it makes me want to puke.......
The so called "Sleaze" is what he is so why is he there?.........because the Mom is the bigger sleaze!
But the OP says, oh no, I love my friend so I can't protect her children......that would make me look bad and hurt the mom.......huh?
I hope the cops round all three of you up!....cause the three of you are sleazes!
Wake up OP!.....did you not just hear about that huge, disgusting child-porn ring that just got busted today??.......originating here in Canada??.....Kids first lady!...Kids first!.......who cares about the adult's "feelings"
Animals in the wild have more sense than some humans do I think
Grow some balls OP and drop the dime.....like now! | |
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| My best friend is dating a sleaze!!!!!
Posted: 3/16/2006 4:37:28 PM | | Hmmm...I am concerned about the children, but just because I don't call the authorities, doesn't mean I am a sleaze... I am sure if you were in the situation you would think twice before calling the police on your friends/family... the laws are funny, and the police even funnier. | |
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| My best friend is dating a sleaze!!!!!
Posted: 3/16/2006 4:49:12 PM | Okay, I would not call the cops first, but I would confront her very directly and tell her of my concerns. If you have other mutual friends that feel the same way, then bring them along. Think of it as an intervention, like people do for drug users. It is time that either she wakes up and changes her behaviour, or that steps be taken to remove her children from this environment. I would give her the choice, but I would force the choice to be made.
BTW, keep in mind that by doing this, you will likely lose the friend. | |
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| My best friend is dating a sleaze!!!!!
Posted: 3/16/2006 5:07:27 PM | what i've done in the past: simply invite HER out. tell her that her "other half" is not welcome.
is it rude? yes. will it get the point across? yes.
if she asks why, and then doesn't understand after you explain it to her, then tough. disinvite her. eventually, she'll get the hint.
sometimes it takes drastic measures to fix something. | |
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| My best friend is dating a sleaze!!!!!
Posted: 3/16/2006 5:10:38 PM | First off, I wouldn't call this guy a sleaze, unless you're going to agree your friend is equally sleazy - and moreso, because she's skanking out like she is, in front of children (her own children, to boot), her friends, family members, etc. It doesn't matter that this is "not like her" - the point is, this is her NOW. Yes, it's entirely possible she's now using drugs and it's adding to her craziness but who knows.
Seems more than obvious that her and her dude were having sex on that occasion that they were under the blanket, their pants were on the floor - all while the poor 13 yr old was in the same room. That's absolutely sickening. The fact that she's neglecting her children is sickening. You and your friends should be considering the INNOCENT victims here - the children. They have no say in what sick things they're exposed to. Child Protective Services, in all honesty, should have been called already - to hell with her and her "feelings" - she's obviously not considering the feelings of her children.
That's fine that you and your friends are going to sit down and talk with her - but if she's this screwed up, you're not going to know what continues to "go on" when you're not around - and if anything, she'll just be more secretive - and the children will still be exposed...only on the surface it will look like everything's "better."
The children should be removed from the home until such times as she gets her act together and re-learns what being a parent is all about. I fear for those poor children. | |
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| My best friend is dating a sleaze!!!!!
Posted: 3/16/2006 5:15:00 PM | OK Felanie......yes, I was harsh on you......I take that part back.....I shouldn't have called you that but when I read stories like this and being a father who raised kids by myself, I get very vocal and rarely care about "parent's' needs, wants, desires or feelings are at that point........it's all about the kids....period!
I would suggest you and your friends suspend your visit and leave it up to the people trained to do it.......as soon as you leave, who is going to bear the brunt and take the wrath?........the kids of course......
make the phone call you need to make and the protective services people will interview the kids at their school ......you're playing with fire if you don't........and the kids will get burned if you try to handle this without the authorities. | |
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| My best friend is dating a sleaze!!!!!
Posted: 3/16/2006 5:16:58 PM | Im not sure I agree with the talking thing..this time..
Call the Ministry for Children and Families.
She is going to feel cornered and ganged up on.
When the ministry does find out she will know exactly who to retaliate against.
I think talking to her is gonna be a waste, She an adult for cryin out loud. she knows what the hells going on..
Forget the warning.......it'll only give her the heads up to clean up and act good for a few days.. | |
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| My best friend is dating a sleaze!!!!!
Posted: 3/16/2006 5:27:59 PM | here you go :Legal Duty to Report
Everyone who has a reason to believe that a child has been or is likely to be physically harmed, sexually abused or sexually exploited, or needs protection due to the specific circumstances outlined in the Child, Family and Community Service Act, is legally responsible under that act to report the matter to a child protection social worker. In British Columbia, a child is anyone under the age of 19.
The duty to report applies to everyone, including service providers, family members and the general public in short, anyone who is aware of circumstances that should be reported.
It doesn't matter if you believe someone else is reporting the situation, you still have to report.
It doesn't matter if you're aware that a child protection social worker is already involved with the child, you still have to report the matter. All new incidents must be reported as well.
The legal duty to report overrides any duty of confidentiality, except a solicitor-client relationship.
Time is of the essence in ensuring the safety and well-being of children. Report immediately.
If you have reason to believe that a child has been or is likely to be abused or neglected, then the responsibility for making a report to a child protection social worker legally rests with you.
Do not contact the alleged perpetrator. This is the responsibility of the police, or the child protection social worker.
If an employer needs to contact the alleged perpetrator in order to protect children under their authority, this should be coordinated with the police and child protection social workerWhen to Report that a Child Needs Protection
The Child, Family and Community Service Act sets out the circumstances under which you must report - that is, when you have reason to believe that a child "has been, or is likely to be, physically harmed, sexually abused or sexually exploited by a parent or by another person,or if the child has been or is likely to be physically harmed because of neglect by the child's parent," or if:
the child is emotionally harmed by the parent's conduct;
the child is deprived of necessary health care;
the child's development is likely to be seriously impaired by a treatable condition and the child's parent refuses to provide or consent to treatment;
the child's parent is unable or unwilling to care for the child and has not made adequate provision for the child's care;
the child is or has been absent from home in circumstances that endanger the child's safety or well-being;
the child's parent is dead and adequate provision has not been made for the child's care; and
the child has been abandoned and adequate provision has not been made for the child's care.
And there ya have it. | |
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| My best friend is dating a sleaze!!!!!
Posted: 3/16/2006 5:35:57 PM | | Glad you posted this, Supamom - I hope the Original Poster takes this to heart. She has a DUTY to those poor children to be reporting this ASAP. "talking" with the dingaling mother will do nothing but cause her to be more secretive about her disgusting behavior and nobody will know what continues to "go on" behind closed doors. | |
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| My best friend is dating a sleaze!!!!!
Posted: 3/16/2006 5:44:28 PM | | The only thing I find amazingly odd is that this much has happened to date and neither she or the other friends have taken any action.....and considering she and some of these friends are mothers too. I'm not a mother and I was repulsed by what I read, I can't imagine being a mom and witnessing this inappropriateness..and having every reason to believe the friend and her dude were having sex while the children were present and doing NOTHING about it. Not to mention, this dumb broad is leaving her children alone, not picking them up when she should, etc. I have a really hard time understanding how "this much" has happened and nothing's been 'done' about it. If I were in this situation, the last place I'd be was on the internet posting about it - I'd be on the phone to the proper authorities. | |
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| My best friend is dating a sleaze!!!!!
Posted: 3/16/2006 5:45:21 PM | | I can honestly say this story is true...I am a good friend of Felanie's(not the one she is speaking of) and I know about this situation...since I don't have first hand knowledge I haven't done anything...I don't know the girl well, and I haven't been involved in the situation. But I can say she is NOT making this up. | |
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| My best friend is dating a sleaze!!!!!
Posted: 3/16/2006 5:53:18 PM | Doesnt mater my dear if you dont have first hand knowledge..even you have a dutyto report it, if you know who she is.! #%#$^**
hell, message me who she is and I'll report it for F**KS SAKE! | |
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| My best friend is dating a sleaze!!!!!
Posted: 3/16/2006 5:58:47 PM | To Supamom!.......Excellent research!
Now, to those who are so quick to protect the adults in these matters, you can see why us who care about the kids first and foremost get so livid by the stupidity of adults!
I hope that post by Supamom wakes up some of those who think the protection of children is not their responsibility......and a dangerous situation like the one described here is only a source of drama and gossip for neighbours and friends.
Some people should be ashamed of themselves............if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem!!!! | |
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| My best friend is dating a sleaze!!!!!
Posted: 3/16/2006 6:03:24 PM | Hey tell her whats up...after that leave her be ..let her decide how it is..
if it bothers you that much dont hang with her as much...sometimes actions speak louder..choose to only spend time with her minus him... | |
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| My best friend is dating a sleaze!!!!!
Posted: 3/16/2006 6:05:23 PM | | PayAsYouGo - what part of this all don't you get? This woman is neglecting her children, leaving them alone, failing to pick them up, she's having sex in their presence, she's behaving horribly inappropriately in front of minors - don't you get that? - you really think it's as simple as telling the smarten up and then just letting her be? What about the poor kids????????????????????? | |
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| My best friend is dating a sleaze!!!!!
Posted: 3/16/2006 6:06:55 PM | And how exactly does that protect her kids?
That only lets her think you dont give a shit what she does.
For far too long people have had this "mind our own business thing"...and it aint workin.
When it comes to kids im sorry....but they MUST be first.. who gives a shit what she wants.. | |
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| My best friend is dating a sleaze!!!!!
Posted: 3/16/2006 6:25:28 PM | I got it all but you cant force change thats life...now what i said in the post befor this..is probaly the only way to deal with it...
What dont you get about it...????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
what can she do its her friend she aint gonna report her...i say tell some other people that might have more sway with her if thats the case...but a friend can only do so much | |
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| My best friend is dating a sleaze!!!!!
Posted: 3/16/2006 6:28:24 PM | Yeah Marol........where is that relevant anyhow and what's your issue?...cause there is none!.......it's only a lame attempt by you at deflecting from the actual issue of the protection of kids from a whacked Mom and her brain-dead loser who is clearly abusing at the very least the emotional stabilty and health of innocent children if this story is indeed true as the OP describes it.....
Hope I am clear enough for you | |
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| My best friend is dating a sleaze!!!!!
Posted: 3/16/2006 6:34:54 PM | I got it all but you cant force change
Seriously mate.......are you in another world?........the "change", you say can't be forced, is usually signed by a Judge in Family Court and is executed in person by the Childrens Aid Society....with police back-up......it's called a removal order......or haven't you noticed that we're talking about the safety of children.......not a silly quarrel amongst two adults
knock, knock......wake up there buddy! ...put the Keiths down for a minute and read! | |
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| My best friend is dating a sleaze!!!!!
Posted: 3/16/2006 6:36:26 PM | Marol,
It seems clear to me that the original poster stated "facts"
"Leaving her kids alone all the time and lying about where she is and when she will be home, she doesn't show up to pick them up and do things for them when she says she will"
"I had them over to my boyfriend's for supper, between my boyfriend and I we have 4 children from 13yrs to 3yrs, as well as we had other family and friends over with their children. All they did was grab each other and make out. I find it very disrespectful to do this in public, all of my other girlfriends and their friends have decided that we are too umcomfortable with this around our children."
"She screwed him on the couch in front of her children!.....................We are all presuming it was sex, they were under the blankets on the couch, and both of their pants were on the floor, they couldn't get up to greet us until they put their pants on. Yet her 13 yr old daughter was there on the other side."
You don't count these as facts?
You think this kind of behavior of a mother is acceptable? What the he11 does any of this have to do with SupaMom's profile? You seem to find this thread amusing - why is that - you find child abuse a laughing matter? | |
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