| How do you stop loving someone?
Posted: 5/19/2005 2:21:42 PM | You'll always love her.. but time heals all.. It is very difficult and will continue to be. You can't just stop loving someone, though.. In your heart, you will always love her, but eventually, that love will changed.. it won't be replaced.. it will always be there, but it will just change a bit. Good luck.. ~K. | |
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| How do you stop loving someone?
Posted: 5/19/2005 5:40:26 PM | time, and the realization that the person you fell in love with, might not be the same person anymore. If they are cruel idiots and forget that they fell for you as well. then treat you like a dog, or worse* then they don't deserve your love.
If you happen to become just friends with the person, then atleast be grateful that you have something rather than nothing.
Being in love,and loving someone , is different.
good luck though. in time you'll move on and who knows maybe find one that you have stronger feelings for. If not, atleast you made it. | |
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| How do you stop loving someone?
Posted: 5/19/2005 6:14:28 PM | Day by day it will get better.
Emotions are so big, words are trite
I'm really sorry for your loss | |
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| How do you stop loving someone?
Posted: 5/20/2005 1:44:33 PM | 1. FIRST YOU GO TO THE BANK.
2. GO TO THE LIQUOR STORE AND GET A GALLON OF SOMETHIING.
3. ROLL UP YOU A NICE BIG BLUNT OF THE LIGHT GREEN.
4. GO THE THE CLUB AND DANCE AND FLIRT YOUR AS* OFF.
5. GET ABOUT TWO OR THREE NUMBERS.
6. LEAVE AND GO TO THE SHAKE JOINT.
7. TOUCH AND RUB ON EVERY GIRL COMING YOUR WAY.
8. GET ABOUT TWO OR THREE NUMBERS OUT OF THERE.
9. CALL THEM ALL AND GET LAID.
10. GET OVER IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THIS HAS BEEN A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT BROUGHT TO YOU BY TECH22.
---THE KING OF GETTING OVER IT---
THANK YOU | |
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| How do you stop loving someone?
Posted: 5/20/2005 3:17:13 PM | | I don't think that you really ever do stop loving someone. Your feelings may seem like they've ended, but deep down inside, those feelings are still there. My ex-boyfriend and I were together for a year, and we had to break up because of my parents. I was head over heels in love with him. This was 3 1/2 years ago. For 3 1/2 years, I have been trying to move on, but was/and have not been able to. I feel that once you are in love with someone, those feelings are there to stay. | |
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| How do you stop loving someone?
Posted: 5/20/2005 9:29:17 PM | The answer lies whithin you. You are the navigator of your faith. You have the choices: be happy or be miserable. If you choose to be happy, then stop looking back to the past with hurt, think about how this pain & experience will make you a better person, a better lover and a better father. Pick up the pieces moved on, start dating and concentrate your attention to your daughter. Be alive, because you still have someone looking up to you: your daughter. Be an example of strength. She's not an accident, she was made out of love, so it will be unfair for her to experience your misery.
About your health? Take care of it. Don't give up. You can still do something. Actually lots of things. Don't be hopeless, while there is life there is hope.
About your wife? She said she doesn't love you anymore so, forget about her, she doesn't deserve you. Don't you realize that God is so good? He put an end to this relationship before it get's worse. Loving a person is more than just being intimate. It's unconditional. A failed marriage doesn't make one party guilty. Maybe it was just wasn't meant to be. You're still young, and there are still more chances of better life & better woman. Learn your lessons from the past. When are you going to start? Get up, think positive & enjoy life to the fullest with determination & hope. But don't forget with RESPONSIBILITY also. NOW! | |
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| How do you stop loving someone?
Posted: 5/20/2005 9:47:02 PM | Hey Mike,
Do you still have problems with the PTSD? A trauma like losing a loved one, infidelity, or one person falling out of love call definately re-trigger the disorder. This might complicate the forms your recovery can take.
I'm trying to read between the lines, and I think the question is not really how you stop loving someone, but how you stop the cycle of hurting. I've experienced the same loss as you, and it truly sucks.
Have you seen a councillor?
I know I didn't want to go. Didn't want to be labelled as "crazy" or "weak" or simply "abandoned." My boss, who is in my personal estimation a genius, put it to me this way:
Would you try and do your own corporate taxes? You're not an accountant.
Would you try to perform your own apendectomy? You're not a doctor.
Would you try to fly your own plane? You're not a pilot.
And I think his point was this.
When you are facing these problems, your own judgement is not likely the one to rely on, and anything less than an ethical, trained professional's opinion is spotty at best.
best of luck
-F | |
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| How do you stop loving someone?
Posted: 5/21/2005 5:26:36 AM | It takes time to stop loving someone. I still love my former 2nd girlfriend, who will always have a piece of my heart. So I love her from a distance. So I tucked her away in a little corner. I do have room for someone new also. You don't if she wants out or your hurting each other you love from a distance and move on. You don't have to stop loving her just put in a corner of your heart. And let someone else in . | |
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| How do you stop loving someone?
Posted: 5/21/2005 7:21:06 AM | -F
Yes, I have had major problems with my PTSD as well as depression, and I am seeing both a psychiatrist and a counselor. My situation is greatly complicated by the varying sources of problems; traumatic events, loss of my health, loss of my career, inabiity to work at all, and then the loss of my marriage.
At first I resisted getting help as well, but abject sorrow has a way of injecting humility. Having made the choice to live, I knew I needed help in getting my life back so I could be there for my daughter. Only time will tell if I made the right choice.
MajMike | |
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| How do you stop loving someone?
Posted: 5/31/2005 7:31:16 AM | Thx Paradoxx
You're so pretty I almost want to move back to Virginia!! I lived in Centreville while I was at the Pentagon, and traveled all over the state.
MajMike | |
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| How do you stop loving someone?
Posted: 5/31/2005 11:45:02 AM | "People have hearts like mirrors... when it shatters, you try to pick up the pieces but you always end up missing a piece...you can't fix it the way it used to be and there's a crack somewhere..."
Nicely put Anya. That is very true. It is so hard to get over someone that you are in love with and share so much history with. I cannot imagine that many years, wow. Best of luck to you. If it is meant to be, it will be and you will work things out. If not, then it is better to deal with the pain now and move on. Eventually you will meet someone that will make you happy again. | |
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| How do you stop loving someone?
Posted: 5/31/2005 12:10:13 PM | | It's not easy to stop loving someone. Beleive me I know what you are going through! My wife of nine years developed breast cancer two years ago I was with her throuth the lump removal operation, the kemo, amd the radiation. She had started her third and final phase of this nighemare one year ago when she started taking this cancer treatment drug called tamoxifin, that's when I started to notice the change in her. She fought depression, and mood swings. she came to me two months ago said she just could not stay married to me any longer. How could anyone just throw away nine years of marriage? We purchased our own home 2-1/2 years ago, we have a very brite son who will be 8-years old in June. How could we seperate our lives after all we have been through? I just had to agree with her wishes. It was the only way to make her happy although. It was tearing me up inside! I did not want to loose my family, our home all that we have worked so hard for, but in order to make her happy, this was something I had to do. We agreed on how the furnishings were going to be divided between us, I was helping her search for her new home. I was going to help her paint, move in and help set up her new home. It was killing me inside! Everything was going smoothly, we talked more after she gave me the news than er ever have since we've been married! We still did everything together, sleeped in the same bed, showered together, even made love like it was all new for both of us! It was killing me inside. One Saturday in early April we went furnature shopping for some new things for her new home. She had gotten very angry at me after I yelled at ouf son for spilling coffee all over the front seat of my truck. I wasn't using vulgar language, I just yelled because no sooner did I tell my son to be careful, he knocked over my hot coffee! She got very mad at me and wanted to cancel the rest of the shopping day. When we returned home, she packed up a few things for her self and our son and she went home to her mothers. The next day she shows up with the police and a "Order of protection" against me. Now I'm not aloud near her or our home. Our home was just sold and I cannot even get into it to get all of my possessions! She hired a divorce attorney then I had to do the same and we are batteling it out in court! You cannot imagine the pain I am feeling over these turn of events! I feel for you, but I know you just cannot throw away a special love. Even after all I've been through these past few months, I STILL LOVE MY WIFE! I did not want our marriage to end this way! I did not wat it to end at all, but here we are.....I feel so sorry for my wife, I tried to tell her about the drugs she is taking and the side effects hse is now showing because of these drugs but she refuses to acknowlwdge me. I cannot call her, I cannot see her or I'll be arrested for harassing her! MY God! It's been hell! Guys, if your wife ever has to go through this cancer treatment, please be careful! I love my wife and I always will, but now I'm left all alone. Bottom line is you can't stop loving someone. Perhaps in time the wounds will heal and you'll be able to move on with your lives. For now, it's just one day at a time....one day at a time... | |
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| How do you stop loving someone?
Posted: 5/31/2005 12:15:12 PM | | It's not easy to stop loving someone. Beleive me I know what you are going through! My wife of nine years developed breast cancer two years ago I was with her throuth the lump removal operation, the kemo, amd the radiation. She had started her third and final phase of this nighemare one year ago when she started taking this cancer treatment drug called tamoxifin, that's when I started to notice the change in her. She fought depression, and mood swings. she came to me two months ago said she just could not stay married to me any longer. How could anyone just throw away nine years of marriage? We purchased our own home 2-1/2 years ago, we have a very brite son who will be 8-years old in June. How could we seperate our lives after all we have been through? I just had to agree with her wishes. It was the only way to make her happy although. It was tearing me up inside! I did not want to loose my family, our home all that we have worked so hard for, but in order to make her happy, this was something I had to do. We agreed on how the furnishings were going to be divided between us, I was helping her search for her new home. I was going to help her paint, move in and help set up her new home. It was killing me inside! Everything was going smoothly, we talked more after she gave me the news than we ever have since we've been married! We still did everything together, sleeped in the same bed, showered together, even made love like it was all new for both of us! It was killing me inside. One Saturday in early April we went furnature shopping for some new things for her new home. She had gotten very angry at me after I yelled at ouf son for spilling coffee all over the front seat of my truck. I wasn't using vulgar language, I just yelled because no sooner did I tell my son to be careful, he knocked over my hot coffee! She got very mad at me and wanted to cancel the rest of the shopping day. When we returned home, she packed up a few things for her self and our son and she went home to her mothers. The next day she shows up with the police and a "Order of protection" against me. Now I'm not aloud near her or our home. Our home was just sold and I cannot even get into it to get all of my possessions! She hired a divorce attorney then I had to do the same and we are batteling it out in court! You cannot imagine the pain I am feeling over these turn of events! I feel for you, but I know you just cannot throw away a special love. Even after all I've been through these past few months, I STILL LOVE MY WIFE! I did not want our marriage to end this way! I did not wat it to end at all, but here we are.....I feel so sorry for my wife, I tried to tell her about the drugs she is taking and the side effects she is now showing because of these drugs but she refuses to acknowlwdge me. I cannot call her, I cannot see her or I'll be arrested for harassing her! MY God! It's been hell! Guys, if your wife ever has to go through this cancer treatment, please be careful! I love my wife and I always will, but now I'm left all alone. Bottom line is you can't stop loving someone. Perhaps in time the wounds will heal and you'll be able to move on with your lives. For now, it's just one day at a time....one day at a time... | |
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| How do you stop loving someone?
Posted: 5/31/2005 2:56:50 PM | | Not going to blow sunshine up your butt or anything. Women are a hard thing to let go. I want to say be straong for you and your little girl. I know i went through a split in 98 same thing took me a long time to get over it. Now going through the same thing. But this time it is over with her and I. I can only take so much of fighting and bickering. I want thing resolved so me and my ex can go our seprate ways. She is happy now so now it is my turn to be happy. I have stepped it up by going to coach at my kids school or go for coffees with someone that can be your friend. Best is when getting back into the saddle move very slow make sure the wall is up but you have to have a key for the little door to give to someone when the time is right. Hope it helps not a professional but something a good friend told me. bye for now John | |
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| How do you stop loving someone?
Posted: 5/31/2005 3:59:45 PM | | Focus else were in life like better yourself activities i know i have said this in other post but this also fits here...on top of that when another interest is found focus on them but for the mean time dont be afraid to talk about it just talk and move on and talk again and so on until you feel you are past it.. | |
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| How do you stop loving someone?
Posted: 5/31/2005 6:20:16 PM | | You don't. I was married for almost 24 years, son 23 daughter 21.He decided he didn't love me anymore either and seeked elsewhere. Just walked out and never looked back.. My theory is when one quits it's over and you have to move on. Why would you want someone who doesn't want you. Once a cheater always a cheater in my book.. If you can't trust em' then there's nothing left. Always remember it's not you, it's something within themselves.It took me about a year, keep yourself extremely busy it helps.. It's been over 3 years and yes I'm still single. The pain never goes away but I deal with it alot better now.. Hang in there.. | |
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| How do you stop loving someone?
Posted: 6/4/2005 5:36:15 PM | Our 16th anniversary was on the 20th, and we were engaged for a year, so over 17 1/2 years together. Basically my entire adult life was with her, and I had planned on all of it being that way, and hopefully the afterlife too.
Harleygirl
I am sorry for your pain, cheating was not involved with us but my sense of betrayal runs deep too. I agree that if she really doesn't want me then I don't need to be with her, I keep telling myself that. Having my daughter with me about a third of the time helps a lot, we talk almost everyday she is with her Mom.
Despite my pain I have managed to keep the hurt from making me angry at my ex, I do this so we can keep my daughter's welfare primary in our dealings with each other. No matter all the bad things that have happened to me or I have experienced in my life, I wouldn't change a minute of it if it meant not having my baby.
I wish you the best of luck in finding happiness again.
MajMike | |
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| How do you stop loving someone?
Posted: 6/4/2005 5:42:12 PM | geesh your not doomed to be hurt for ever...and dont busy yourself deal with it first talk until it hurts and do it again until your over it until your sick of thinking about it...then do stuff to better yoiurself dont busy yourself away to nuttin ...live casual go back to enjoying life ......
people are so bitter cause they let these things eat at them inside ...
dont fall victim to any of it once taalked it over and you have dealt with it then you can get back to life,...........
good luck | |
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| How do you stop loving someone?
Posted: 6/4/2005 7:06:01 PM | True love never dies...it just changes into something different. Relationships don't account for true love but relationships do end. Sometimes and end is the chance at a new beginning. If you truly love her, give her the space she has taken and begin to love yourself again and if and when there is a time, that spark may just return for her as she will see your strength instead of your weakness.
Good luck to you, but I don't think luck has anything to do with it. Show her what you are made of by giving her what she needs and if that is space for now and the dissolution of what sounds to have been a very stressful marriage for both of you considering your experiences and her reactions to them...I think it's time to work on you now. You can overcome this. | |
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| How do you stop loving someone?
Posted: 6/5/2005 12:40:14 PM | | its true you never stop loving them, it makes it hurt more if they left you for someone else or found someone else soon after your split, try hard to clear them from your mind keep busy find new interests and in time the pain will fade, but no the love never dies. | |
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| How do you stop loving someone?
Posted: 6/5/2005 1:25:04 PM | BU LL SH IT....love does die and doesnt change ..love is love period ...there is caring then love....love is something you have for family...family being the woman/man you choose to settle down with....caring is something left to friends...there are friends out there that are like family to people hense the love you can have for friends....
and this is the same love you have to share with your partner...
dont busy yourself that foolish better yourself not busy yourself ..dont ignore it......confron ti talk about it even when it hurts until its gone...you may still care but it aint love and love hasnt changed to caring ..thats just another feeling....
live life casual after dealing with it...enjoy life like you did befor that person....love doesnt last forever unless you work on it..
but talk about it write it down if need be but dont hide from it...
if you busy yourself you,ll do nothing more then become bitter and hate and not trust people anymore.....
you confront this and you,ll go back to being happy and NOT LOVE that person anymore maybe even find them annoying.....
90% percent or more of pof members are bitter people...
what does that tell ya ...i guess they keep busy ..lol
i can care about someone like see someone fall down and feel bad and help or a friend and help them or whatever...but love is a connection a life long one if you keep that feeling....
for those who say you can never get past love you,ll always love someone ...or that the loving feelings change but are still the same......YOU GUYS ARE WACKED...i said for people to listen to this song on other forums for others reasons but this fits here....
your all stuck in a moment ...what inspired me recently to move on from something is a song by
U2 "stuck in the moment"
maybe this will inspire you and get the rest of these people to get over themselves and realise ...love last as long as you allow it to....if not taking care of love can go as quick as it came..
love isnt a thought and it doesnt take a period of time to happen...love is a feeling no more no less and it comes just like feelings....it could be the second you meet and could go away the second the date is over....
love is strange and you wont always feel love with a partner but hense threw good and bad times.........if you both are loyal and get threw the mess you,ll begin to have them genuine 24/7 feeling of love even when fighting ..you,ll know i love him and he loves me....
that is harder love to lose...BUT EVEN THAT DOESNT LAST FOREVER only as long as you allow it to
i,ll edit later | |
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| How do you stop loving someone?
Posted: 6/6/2005 4:22:27 PM | | Love is an emotion, and emotions can be controlled. With practice, you can limit them to the point of almost non-existence. This is really handy, I highly advise it. Some will say that then I have never experienced "true" love. I say to them, you obviously don't have the same emotional control that I do. Learn to think clearly, calmly and objectively, as this is the counter to thinking with your heart. It makes dealing with break up pains much easier, as well as handling that pesky religion question. It does not diminish your ability to love or the intensity of that love. It just puts a cap on much it can mess you up when it all goes down the drain. | |
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| How do you stop loving someone?
Posted: 6/6/2005 7:50:08 PM | Yeah thanks ...
"Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, start all over ... again."
-Peter Tosh
Just keep prayin', man. | |
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