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 Michaelann
Joined: 9/11/2004
Msg: 701
Dating Someone On Welfare ** Page 29 of 33    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33)
can any woman here honestly say they would date a man on welfare? ( im sure it happens but Ive certainly never heard of a man on welfare.....it might not ever happen for all i know :P) im guessing no.

i guess my other comment is this. are people really finding it THAT hard to find a decent paying job? Listen I know the world needs waitresses and fry cooks and stuff like that but i mean.....its not overly difficult to find a job.- Slightly_Stoopid


To answer your first question: Yes. I don't judge people by irrelevant standards. Being poor, or not having a job,
has nothing to do with whether or not, you are a good, decent loving person. I don't know what the laws are like
in Ottawa, Illinois, but here, yes there are men on welfare. But if you are not disabled, they put you in a job
program, make you look for work & there are also time limits (for those without children).

And yes, it's hard to find a job. I am disabled & in debt from my last marriage. I have been trying to fidn some part-
time work to supplement my disability & help me get out of debt. But because I was a housewife & mother for over
20 years, I have almost no paid job experience. And because they have brought back the "training wage", which
allows employers to hire in-experienced teens for $2 LESS than minimum wage, guess what?! They don't want to
hire someone my age, without experience. I have noticed in our local paper, that there are a lot of driving jobs in
our community, but then again, getting as license has been made way more difficult & more expensive (it was only
$25, when I was 16, it was recently raised to $75!). So therefore, many poor unemployed people, who need the
work, can't get it! So actually, yeah, it is difficult to find a job.
 Fine Wine Diva
Joined: 2/17/2008
Msg: 702
Dating Someone On Welfare **
Posted: 3/3/2008 8:17:05 AM
At One time I Also was a single mom , on wefare . But wefare let me work . Took some off my check. I think it was25%
It made life easyer to get out of the house . But own my bussiness , and condo . and she's 16 (my daughter).
Dating not easy single on wefare .
Good luck , make him pay for the baby sister .
Wefare will . help , in schooling

Catherine AKA /FINE WINE DIVA
 imrule62
Joined: 6/4/2006
Msg: 703
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History
Dating Someone On Welfare **
Posted: 3/3/2008 10:48:28 AM
The only problem I would have is what does she do with her time. If she was active in some outside something it wouldn't be a problem. My ex couldn't work and I didn't mind it except she resented that I got to go to work and had things to do outside the relationship. Now I enjoy working but I never thought of it as my social time.
So I think it would be important for her to be doing something, I don't care about the paycheck.
 Keesqwekan
Joined: 9/14/2007
Msg: 704
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History
Dating Someone On Welfare
Posted: 9/8/2008 1:08:08 PM
I would'nt date anyone with a name like bubbles...
 fancynanci
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 705
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History
Dating Someone On Welfare **
Posted: 9/8/2008 1:12:18 PM
I raised two children on my own with no government assistance but I have a very ambitious nature...maybe she doesn't.
 pearlj
Joined: 3/1/2007
Msg: 706
Dating Someone On Welfare
Posted: 10/12/2008 11:44:47 PM
First I dont understand why everyone gets so heated about welfare, the WELFARE PROGRAM IN THE U.S. TAKES UP ONLY 1%, yes, that's right ONE PERCENT OF OUR TAX DOLLARS. And I am personally not opposed to paying a measly 1% of my tax dollars to help people that need it, irregardless of the reasons (for the most part),as long as they have hope and can work towards a btter more financially independent future. Now the 700 BILLION DOLLAR BAIL OUT for banks, THAT i take issue with, that is $8,000 in extra taxes that every single working individual has to pay to bail out these banks. Second by definition, social security is welfare, as is financial aid (pell grant anyone?), so why is the stigma on a very very SMALL facet of the social system?
also would anyone of you REALLY go to work if you KNEW you would make less money, break your back in a minimum wage job, have less time/energy for your kids, than accept a check from the government that will provide a better quality of living for your children then you could? Also most of the time a woman IS NOT ALLOWED to go to school while receiving benefits, to increase her skill/wage level so that her working would be beneficial to her family. She has to devote all resources, and hopes to finding a job that will likely pay her minimum wage. And in most states, minimum wage isn't enough to pay rent every month, much less put food on the table for her babies. I just dont understand why people dont base their opinions on facts instead of knee-jerk reactions.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 707
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History
Dating Someone On Welfare **
Posted: 10/13/2008 10:26:15 AM
If I am that mother who is on social welfare, my primary focus are my two children as a father and mother to them , and myself to get out of social welfare. I will get education to better myself and get out of this poverty that I am in right now. It is a fact that if my situation in life is down, the kind of man I get is worst than me.
 lovable one
Joined: 9/7/2008
Msg: 708
Dating Someone On Welfare **
Posted: 10/16/2008 7:22:28 AM
I am gona post to this because i have lived both sides of this dilema. I am a single mom of 4 that i work to support. But i was on welfare a number of years with my children as well do the lack of child care and the desiree to be the one to raise my children in the early early years. And i have to say I found it easier to date while on welfare then while working. the sole reason is that you have more time. As a single parent you have alot of responsibilites. And while working you dont have alot of time to fit in a relationship and the people you get to know have to be patient to go out with you on a date. there are actually alot of guys that will date moms on the system. I never had a hard time finding a date when Iwas one of those moms. fact is there are alot of people out there willing to get to know a person for who they are and not there financail situation. now being i lived both sides would i date a guy on the system probley not if he was a single guy. Now a single dad raising kids maybe. i know how that sounds, but even when i was on the system i would not date a guy on the system. my line of thinking... As a single mom of 4 i went back to school, took courses and training here and there and did what ever i could to better myself for when i got back in the work force so i never wanted to be with someone that would prevent me from moving forward in life. i have been working for some time now and i find it so much harder to date.
 smiliegirl15
Joined: 7/15/2006
Msg: 709
Dating Someone On Welfare **
Posted: 10/16/2008 7:56:28 AM
As important as it is to be there for your kids, it's also important to teach them lifeskills. Work ethic is one of those skills and I don't think sitting at home on welfare is a good way to teach them good work ethic. There are a lot of programs out there to help you get employment and also training to help you get better employment. If you're going to utilize these programs to make you more employable, then good for you. If you're just going to sit at home and collect your cheques...yeah you need to get a life.
I lived in a small town where there were quite a few welfare families. Not surprisingly, some of their kids are now welfare families themselves because all they learned was how to work the system. I think it's a good tool to help you get on your feet, or back on your feet but it shouldn't be a permanent crutch.
 *~*Royal Majesty*~*
Joined: 8/5/2008
Msg: 710
Dating Someone On Welfare **
Posted: 10/16/2008 11:16:25 AM
"I think it's a good tool to help you get on your feet, or back on your feet but it shouldn't be a permanent crutch".

I agree with this!

I also wonder what possesses anyone to have children KNOWING full-well that thier current home & economic/financial environment is much less than ideal.

If you can't afford to take care of yourself, etc, DO NOT have children!!
 oddandy
Joined: 3/5/2008
Msg: 711
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History
Dating Someone On Welfare **
Posted: 10/16/2008 11:27:55 AM

I also wonder what possesses anyone to have children KNOWING full-well that thier current home & economic/financial environment is much less than ideal.

If you can't afford to take care of yourself, etc, DO NOT have children!!


Why not? We've been taught as a society that the government will step in and pick up the slack for you.
 lovable one
Joined: 9/7/2008
Msg: 712
Dating Someone On Welfare **
Posted: 10/16/2008 2:35:31 PM
not everyone that has had the displeasure to need the system at some point in life thought hey i can't afford kids but ill have them anyway. some single parents end up on the system as a result of relationship break downs. one can have a good life with two parents that have jobs,then all of a sudden be in a situation one day where they have to decide between staying in a bad situation or leaving it and starting from scratch. I was one of the ones that had my kids a house and a husband with both of us employed when i got my divorce i needed the system. not all people set out to use the system some just need it as a stepping stone in life. you don't know how fast you can end up with nothing until it happens to you. thats why i don't judge those on welfare supporting there kids that way. I do how ever have issues with those living it up and partying that don't attempt to move life forward. the need to feed and cloth and shelter your children is one thing. I don't believe welfare benifits should be used for drinking or drugs and frivalent things though.
 canusee
Joined: 7/17/2007
Msg: 713
Dating Someone On Welfare
Posted: 10/16/2008 3:08:12 PM
There is astigma associated with the word "WELFARE".
There is an assumption by way too many people in this worls still in the year of 2008 that people on Welfare are ,drug users etc.
This is not true for all people on the system so to speak.
There are people who had full working lives, got ill and lost their homes that they owned and cannot work.
Caring,loving people with children or without,seniors all races and ages.
Please let the ones that are on the system honestly with no fault of their own rest and be respected.Point fingers only where there is proof of negligence.
We here in Canada are so very fortunate to have the help,espescially when it is not by fraudulent causes.
We are here! We are here!
Alive,loving,caring,volunteering,church goers,we live next door to you and me.
We cook,bake,sew,clean,take classes,bike ride and more.
Let this be the last of the issue that people on assistance of any kind ar not good ,worthy people to love and enjoy.
 canusee
Joined: 7/17/2007
Msg: 714
Dating Someone On Welfare **
Posted: 10/16/2008 3:12:33 PM
Wow ! Call your local social assistance office and ask if there are single father's, male of any sort on welfare.There certainly is.Do your homework,it's simple .Look it up on the internet and call and get the facts.
Men and women alike have been receiving help for over 30 years.
They are for the most part very loving,caring men,lost for a while.
Educate yourselves before ,one puts a negative on men or women on any sort of assistance.
So many have lost their jobs,thier homes they owned,because of life long illness.Many are single father's.They are caring men.
 TBLZ
Joined: 3/23/2008
Msg: 715
Dating Someone On Welfare **
Posted: 10/16/2008 5:26:10 PM
There is a stigma attached...I hear people all the time about how they raise kids without it so everyone else should be able, get your education (you won't need it), don't have them if you can't take of them, etc.

Best case scenario, stay rich, never have a hard time, etc. To me it sounds like insensitivity...not that it matters. I had kids, had a good job for 8 years until I was laid off, had degrees, couldn't find work but had family to help, everyone isn't so fortunate and that's why the system is there to keep you afloat atleast until you get back on your feet. IMO, if you have ever worked, you have paid for it to be there when you need it....

Count your blessings otherwise...
 blueyedgirl44
Joined: 5/3/2008
Msg: 716
Dating Someone On Welfare
Posted: 10/16/2008 6:00:11 PM
Are you frigging kidding me...did you actually write she needs to get on birth control?? Who on earth gave u any right to judge someone so harshly as to say something so disgusting as that? I might add that raising your own children is also what makes a woman become "worthy" as you put it! And another thing... This is another human being and Im sure she would not appreciate being called Miss welfare mom!! Should your mother perhaps been on birth control when you were concieved? This woman and many others that may have to rely on the system can and do raise beautiful contributers to our society and a lot eventually get off the system and become tax paying people just like you and me!!! So I suggest you take a long hard look at yourself and maybe do a little inventory before you pass judgement!! Maybe ask your bf...husband...sister in law...parents...grandparents, if they may have had to use a food bank or get assistance at any time in thier lives, Im pretty sure that someone you love probably has!! If not, then be very thankful and have a little compassion for those that were and are not as fortunate as yourself!

Cheers
 capegardengirl
Joined: 4/29/2006
Msg: 717
Dating Someone On Welfare
Posted: 10/16/2008 6:28:08 PM
The idea that single moms are "sitting around on welfare doing nothing" is a myth propagated by conservative politics here over the last 20 years..A big reason why alot of 20 somethings think of it that way..They grew up during the Reagan Administration and his constant hounding and demonization of the welfare "queens"
But anyone with kids knows that raising a child is a full time job.....24/7.
No single mother is ever just sitting around doing nothing.
Shes working her butt off at home and deserves that check.
A check that takes 1% of the federal budget as opposed to corporate welfare that takes alot more of your money.
But of course the conservatives dont want you to know that.
 Louis Vuitton
Joined: 8/24/2008
Msg: 718
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History
Dating Someone On Welfare
Posted: 10/27/2008 9:55:20 PM
whether it's their fault or not, most people on welfare and disability have really bad attitudes and poor self esteem.
 Louis Vuitton
Joined: 8/24/2008
Msg: 719
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History
Dating Someone On Welfare
Posted: 10/28/2008 7:05:32 AM

But anyone with kids knows that raising a child is a full time job.....24/7.
No single mother is ever just sitting around doing nothing.
Shes working her butt off at home and deserves that check.

Yeah? Get the kid to pay her then.
Why should we pay for her to raise her own kid?
 ImAHotMess
Joined: 7/11/2008
Msg: 720
Dating Someone On Welfare
Posted: 10/28/2008 7:34:12 AM
I would not date anyone in this situation for a few reasons. If I can work my ass off, go to College and pay my own way in life, why can't others? It is not MY FAULT people have kids and can not afford them. Maybe if more people would use birth control, or think about the consequesces of having children, this situation would not be so bad. Maybe it is hard raising a child, it is also hard working my ass off knowing people are out there who are capable of working and don't. It is not just because I do not have kids that I am saying this. I chose not to have them for this reason. I was in a rocky marriage and felt it was in my best interest NOT to become dependant of "the system" and live off of others. I can deal with people getting "some" help, but there should be more limits. And people become VERY dependant on Welfare. ESPECIALLY the amount of unmarried people who keep having MORE kids. Fine, you do it once, but 2, 3, 4 or more times? Get a life. And quit depending off others. If people are on welfare for other reasons than chilren, I hope they are good reasons. Legitimate ones.
 capegardengirl
Joined: 4/29/2006
Msg: 721
Dating Someone On Welfare
Posted: 10/28/2008 6:32:40 PM
Statistics show the women on welfare have an average of 1.8 kids.
NOT 3, 4, , 5 kids....Get educated please.
Geez, people stop your mean spirited ignorant stereotyping.
Corporate welfare from health insurance companies and pharmaceutical companies take far more money from you than the one percent of the federal budget used for welfare.
Why arent the complainers looking at THAT?????
 .Kels.
Joined: 10/11/2008
Msg: 722
Dating Someone On Welfare **
Posted: 10/28/2008 10:37:24 PM
OP- im not a guy so i cant really answer your question
but my two cents are,
i understand what the system is there for, but for me reading what you wrote sounds like shes not really trying hard enough, yea every mother wants to stay at home with their children until they are in school but being a single mom its just not possible unless you want to abuse the system!
im 21 years old, single mom of a 15 month old son, i have no family here and no help from friends. i have my own place, my son is in day care which is subsidized so i can afford it and i work full time, yea i miss my son like crazy, but those are the decisions you have to make as a mother! you have to learn how to become independent again on your own with children,
i couldnt imagine sitting on my ass on welfare ! its lazyness
 The rock man
Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 723
Dating Someone On Welfare
Posted: 10/28/2008 10:44:10 PM
It would really depend on her ambitions!

Geez, people stop your mean spirited ignorant stereotyping.

I grew up in the projects and saw a lot of what you call stereotyping as a way of life for many!

I think the ignorant person is the one that acts like it's untrue!

I have heard people happy about getting pregnant again only because they see it as "getting" a raise!
People not getting married because they will lose the money!

I know not everyone is abusing the system. but a lot of them are!

As I said it would depend on her ambitions!
 .Kels.
Joined: 10/11/2008
Msg: 724
Dating Someone On Welfare
Posted: 10/28/2008 10:49:10 PM

It would really depend on her ambitions!

Geez, people stop your mean spirited ignorant stereotyping.

I grew up in the projects and saw a lot of what you call stereotyping as a way of life for many!

I think the ignorant person is the one that acts like it's untrue!

I have heard people happy about getting pregnant again only because they see it as "getting" a raise!
People not getting married because they will lose the money!

I know not everyone is abusing the system. but a lot of them are!

As I said it would depend on her ambitions!

i feel they are all abusing the system if they are on it any longer then 6 months! there are always ways to get back onto your feet, work everywhere and housing especially for low income families and such that still make it able for them to have a GREAT income , and raise their families happily
 two gypsy
Joined: 10/6/2008
Msg: 725
Dating Someone On Welfare **
Posted: 10/29/2008 9:20:11 AM
Sounds like your friend needs to stop worrying about men (she already has two kids she can't support) and needs to concentrate on how to increase her finances. She needs to get some career training. I have worked with welfare recipients and have yet to see one of them raise remarkable children. (Check stats on prison inmates.) Welfare recipients almost always use the excuse that they want to stay at home and enjoy raising their children. This is a crock of sh-t. No, I would never date someone who was not willing to improve their situation, I like ambitious people.
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