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 The rock man
Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 751
Dating Someone On Welfare ** Page 31 of 33    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33)

Me I will get the help I need that I pay taxes for until I can get back on my feet.

I see a few very important words here that are being repeated in many posts.

until I can get back on my feet.

That's the ambition I would need to see from a potential date if she was on such assistance!

For me ambition is very important to me, regardless of employment status!

People need to realize that more often then not, the only contact many have with people that are on assistance are living off of it permanently! With no ambition at all to do for them selves.

Take a drive through some government housing "projects". Take a good look at the cars in the parking lot. Hell just drive through a welfare parking lot and take a good look at some of the cars that are there.

No! I am not saying people in need shouldn't have cars. If you really want a reality check find a really nice newer car. Then ask the person getting in to it how long they have been receiving assistance!

The people that most are referring to are the ones that walk around in $100 sneakers, using their food card to buy soda and candy all the time at the store!

Never look down your nose at others. You never know when you will be looking up asking for help!
then again those are the last people that would help others!
 mogrl42
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 752
view profile
History
Dating Someone On Welfare **
Posted: 11/1/2008 5:26:29 PM
The sad thing is that some people are perfectly happy on welfare with zero ambitions to do something about it to change the situation.
 kellygrl51
Joined: 9/21/2008
Msg: 753
Dating Someone On Welfare **
Posted: 11/1/2008 6:05:11 PM
"Never look down your nose at others. You never know when you will be looking up asking for help! then again those are the last people that would help others! "

Thats the key right there!! Some people look down on certain jobs. I'll do whatever it takes to put food on my table. I have a good job thankfully, although I worked to put myself through college. I pay my maid $75 a week to clean my house, it takes her 2 hours, if you clean 3 houses a day X 5 days thats more than welfare. I'm not to proud to clean if I had to and would before accepting welfare. Now if your not physically able I can understand and you deserve help, but if you are get to work....
 NYDaisy
Joined: 9/21/2008
Msg: 754
Dating Someone On Welfare **
Posted: 11/1/2008 8:42:36 PM
I felt like many of you a few years ago. I worked at an HMO where we would give out bus tokens to Medicaid people to get to the doctors. Many would drive up to our building in Hummers and SUVs. All had a number of gold things around their necks. We would give then their $2 bus token and they would leave. Or people would take an ambualnce to a hospital downtown and walk accross the street to score drugs. There are flaws in the system.
But, Last November I lost the job I was at for 8 years and making $60k due to a merger.
I was on unemployment. The loss of the job created a qualifying event and my Ex took out $30 form my 401k to open a bar. Again, seaching daily for a job I could not find one paying anything and would make more on unemployment. My Ex then racked up an additional $30 k in credit cards all in my name. (I did not know he was starting the bar until after the lease was signed. If we did not open we would have been sued for breach fo contract.)
The one night, after a wedding, he beat the crap out of me. I threw him out and got an Order of Protection against him. I have filed the paperwork for a divorce months ago. (For all you people who MUST find fault with everyone, I know my profile shows single. But, the reason is that I do not like being judges on a single word and not the whole person.)
We went to court for Child Support and the paperwork did not get sent over to the Child Support Enforcement agency. So, I have had support in months and no one is willing to help.. We go back to court on Monday to resolve this.
I recently started a part-time job which I love and after years of being in an abusinve relationship, it is giving me my self esteem back.
I sat at DSS a few weeks ago for 6 hours trying to get help. Yes, I did hear people talking that they quit their job b/c she did not want to work on her birthday. I have two boys and make $200 over the limit for Medicaid. The boys do not have insurance as their dad lied in court saying he would cover them.
I never thought I would be here. I have worked all my life, since I was 16. I never expected to be in an abusive relationship. I am getting 10 phone calls a day from collection agencies b/c the credit cards are past due. My cable was turned off for non-payment and I received a notice of forclosure on my house. Thank God I have parents to help a little.
So, please explain why I am not "dating material"?
I voulnteer as a Moderator for a PPD (depression) website and have helped a lot of women. I have performed crisis/suicide inverventions. I also Moderate (host) a forum for those who have lost a pregnancy or a baby.
Yet, you are judging me b/c I am on Medicaid? I am sorry for you. I am a great person and a loving person who is raising two young boys on her own. I paid into the "system" for years and never in my life expected to use it. But, I need to do what is necessary to keep my boys healthy and fed.
Those who live in glass houses should not throw rocks. If you are going to judge someone, judge yourself for being such a shallow person and looking at their situation in a broad aspect and not on a case by case basis.
 freeasabird2
Joined: 10/10/2008
Msg: 755
Dating Someone On Welfare **
Posted: 11/2/2008 1:15:03 AM
You neighbour is not doing what is right for her children. She is welfare dependent because she CHOSE not to study, as she chooses not to work now. Teaching children with perfect teeth to bludge off the taxpayers is nothing to be proud of.
 capegardengirl
Joined: 4/29/2006
Msg: 756
Dating Someone On Welfare **
Posted: 11/2/2008 5:33:05 PM
Amazing here how many people think they know whats in the mind and heart of someone on welfare.
Without ever having to walk a mile in their shoes or speak with them.
Incredible ignorance, selfishness, arrogance,shallowness and stupidity.
That sickens me.
No wonder our society is so screwed up and mean spirited.
Some would rather die than show compassion for someone else.
To do so might mean they would (gasp!) learn something about someone that they didnt know before.
Its not "politically correct" to do so.
They judge and criticize and are the "experts" on the motivations of others without knowing what the full story is.
Appearances are very deceiving but youd never know it when listening to the "experts" here.
Sad.

And yet.
Words of wisdom tell us that the way to feel better about yourself is help someone else.
To learn to listen and shut up instead of lecturing and talking down to others.
Alot of miserable, misguded dummies in the world
Ebeneezer Scrooge is alive and well.
Hardship and unplanned disasters will always be with us.
History continues to repeat itself in its errors of the foolish..
 The rock man
Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 757
Dating Someone On Welfare **
Posted: 11/2/2008 6:47:20 PM

Amazing here how many people think they know whats in the mind and heart of someone on welfare.
Without ever having to walk a mile in their shoes or speak with them.
Incredible ignorance, selfishness, arrogance,shallowness and stupidity.
That sickens me.
No wonder our society is so screwed up and mean spirited.
Some would rather die than show compassion for someone else.
To do so might mean they would (gasp!) learn something about someone that they didnt know before.
Its not "politically correct" to do so.
They judge and criticize and are the "experts" on the motivations of others without knowing what the full story is.
Appearances are very deceiving but youd never know it when listening to the "experts" here.
Sad.
When you climb down from the cross tell me, I can use the wood!
I shouldn't need to write out my own personal experience "in those shoes" for my post to be from "wearing those shoes".

I know where I have come from! I also know what I have seen with my own eyes and heard with my own ears! I feel no need to share a sad story from my past to give weight to my posts and feelings on the matter.
 capegardengirl
Joined: 4/29/2006
Msg: 758
Dating Someone On Welfare **
Posted: 11/3/2008 8:27:21 AM
rock man:..."I shouldnt need to write out my own personal experience"
Neither should people on welfare.
"I know where Im coming from!"
So do people are welfare.
"I feel no need to share a sad story from my past"
Neither do alot of people on welfare, especially when they know they are going to be judged and stereotyped and not listened to.

Communication Breakdown 101
 Chocolatebrowne
Joined: 1/19/2006
Msg: 759
Dating Someone On Welfare **
Posted: 11/3/2008 7:27:34 PM
Everytime I hear those stories about welfare moms driving Hummers, I wonder whether or not the people telling them are on crack....

Because it's probably someone else's Hummer.......and honestly, in PA, a single adult gets $210 per month, and no additional $ after the second child, so I can't see how they can afford the gas for a Hummer, let alone the payments.

Now, if someone is selling drugs, or "hooked up" with someone who is, that's a DIFFERENT story......
 vclcarlos43
Joined: 9/22/2008
Msg: 760
Dating Someone On Welfare **
Posted: 11/8/2008 10:18:14 PM
Christina, you should be ashamed of yourself for putting your neighbor business on this website. Although you did not call any names , for you to know as much of your neighbor personal business, she must have confided in you as a friend that she thought she could trust. Instead, you looked down on her and started having negative thoughts of her. If your thoughts were not negative of her you would have never posted this thread. You are one friend that I would not have in my corner. What you should have posted is your true feelings about your neighbor "would you have a friend that receive welfare and other state funds"? That is the real question that you need to ask yourself because you seem to have a problem with your neighbors living situation. And you posted her business in a thread and got other citizens to comment on it. SHAME, SHAME, AND SHAME ON YOU!!!!!!! YOU ARE A PATHETIC FRIEND AND NEIGHBOR. IT'S NEIGHBORS LIKE YOU THAT I KEEP OUT OF MY HOME.
 Rachelle~C
Joined: 6/30/2008
Msg: 761
Dating Someone On Welfare **
Posted: 11/8/2008 10:42:00 PM
For some people , and please note I said "SOME PEOPLE", receiving social assistance makes more sense and is actually the only way they can survive. Sure anyone can get a job flipping burgers but working full time at a burger joint will get you what? maybe 1000 bucks a month? After taxes even less.


Take for example a woman I know whose child has epilepsy and the other two wear glasses . Now that 1000 a month will give out long before she has even gotten even to paying for day care, so what of necessary things like her child's medication and glasses?


The people you see driving those expensive cars and flashing expensive jewellery are not buying that stuff on their social assistance checks, they can have those things because they are young and hot and have a sugar daddy. They have one maybe two kids with him who he is not on the birth certificate for, so everything he gives the "mom" is under the table.I have knows these types of women as well. I have seen first hand that mostly the people you see receiving social assistance are like the first example I gave. Are there women like the second example? Heck yeah,but nowhere near as much as number 1.


I am sure people will say "well they should not of had kids". Hey hindsight is 20 20 right. Most of these people did the right thing and were married to who they thought was a good man who would be a good father ,or other circumstances prevented him being there for his kids. It's easy to say "oh they all went out and got pregnant on purpose", but that's not the case most of the time. I know for a fact that this is what happens some of the time, but it's not the majority.


As for whether I would date a man who was not working, well yeah I would. How hypocritical would I be to not date someone who is not working when I am on disability and not working outside the home. I do things to supplement my income like baking and some babysitting, but I don't and can't go out to work.
 kellygrl51
Joined: 9/21/2008
Msg: 762
Dating Someone On Welfare **
Posted: 11/9/2008 7:36:22 AM
"Sure anyone can get a job flipping burgers but working full time at a burger joint will get you what? maybe 1000 bucks a month? After taxes even less. "

I have a friend who "flipped burgers" at McDonalds. After a few months he became assistant manager then manager, 10 years later he owns that Mcdonalds. Point is don't look down on flipping burgers....
 Rachelle~C
Joined: 6/30/2008
Msg: 763
Dating Someone On Welfare **
Posted: 11/9/2008 1:03:28 PM
I have a friend who "flipped burgers" at McDonalds. After a few months he became assistant manager then manager, 10 years later he owns that Mcdonalds. Point is don't look down on flipping burgers....



Where will you please point out to me where I put down flipping burgers? You read what you wanted to read out of my post and choose to get offended at two words. The point of my post is a person who has to support themselves plus two, three or more children can't do so on 1000 bucks a month. So she could make manager a few months down the road , so what? What are her kids supposed to eat, live, wear, get their medicine and glasses until then?


Coming from someone who had numerous jobs in the past, flipping burgers included, I certainly never made manager in a few months and I never saw anyone else do it either.
 kellygrl51
Joined: 9/21/2008
Msg: 764
Dating Someone On Welfare **
Posted: 11/9/2008 2:09:07 PM
I'm not offended, the point is flipping burgers is alot more lucrative than welfare, it's at least a chance.....
 Sweetbabeblues
Joined: 4/23/2008
Msg: 765
Dating Someone On Welfare **
Posted: 11/9/2008 2:27:48 PM
I've been on both sides of the "Welfare fence" since being on my own at 17. I worked for the State of Illinois, Dept. Of Pulbilc Aid, and I have also been on the recieving line of it too.
What bothers me the most is in 1991, I was faced with a divorce and four kids to feed. I went before the court for my divorce, and was asked by a person who worked for Family services at that time if I wouldn't be better off quitting my job and going on welfare. I worked full time at Walmart at that time. (babysitter made more than me)
I could not believe my ears hearing a Welfare case worker asking me to quit my job and get on welfare! I looked at her, looked at the judge, and then said; "I thought the whole idea was to get people off welfare, not to place them on it!" It upset me when she said it, and I declined her offer, saying I would never be on it as long as I could do good and make it on my own. And I stuck to that promise to them and myself......
Well after being in a realy bad car wreck some months later, and spending months in the hospital, I had to go on welfare for my kids. I had doctror bills in the hundreds of thousands of dollars, and the moment I got back on my feet, you bet I stopped the welfare checks and food stamps.
But what erks me like many have said, are those who take advantage of the system. Like standing in food lines, then you see them at the bars at night spending dollar after dollar on booze knowing full well they sold part of thier food stamps just to buy it!
Dating someone on welfare can't be half as bad as dating a druggy, a prostitute, or a thief, liar, etc.... They are people too, and just as eqaul as any one else in this world. It's the bad ones that abuse the system that gives it and themselves a bad name.
Things happen, just like my car wreck. It was not my doings, and Welfare was the only way to feed my kids at the time. And sometimes no matter how much you hate doing things, your forced to do it, because all other options have run out....
So yes, if the person collecting welfare was legit, I see no reason I wouldn't date them.....
 Rachelle~C
Joined: 6/30/2008
Msg: 766
Dating Someone On Welfare **
Posted: 11/9/2008 3:30:27 PM

I'm not offended, the point is flipping burgers is alot more lucrative than welfare, it's at least a chance.....



How is running out of money before you have paid for all of your necessities more lucrative? How is not being able to pay for your daycare, childs medication , glasses etc... a chance? Yes there are people who take advantage and who are on welfare when they really don't need it, but from everything I have seen first hand more people are on it really need it then on it and have a sugar daddy on the side giving them money.
 kellygrl51
Joined: 9/21/2008
Msg: 767
Dating Someone On Welfare **
Posted: 11/9/2008 3:44:15 PM
^^^It's a chance to make a better life for your kids. Anyone who has kids and works hard moves up in a Resturant chain. I know way too many people who have done it. There are other things you can do as well, like I said I pay my maid 75 a week for 2 hours worth of work and she would be more than well come to bring her kids. There are ways people just choose to igrnore those ways. If you are physically able to work I think you should. I've cleaned houses, waited tables, you do what you have to...JMO
 Rachelle~C
Joined: 6/30/2008
Msg: 768
Dating Someone On Welfare **
Posted: 11/9/2008 3:53:39 PM
^^^^In my area cleaning houses is not a thing you can make money off of. And when your child can't get their medication and necessary items then this is not a better life for them.


By the way I am not speaking about myself. I have never been married, I have no kids and I am not on welfare. I was getting the vibe from your post that you think I am speaking about myself. You may of seen people move ahead in burger joints , but I have not seen that. People I worked with years ago are still doing the same job at the same pay even now.
 La Gioconda
Joined: 6/27/2008
Msg: 769
view profile
History
Dating Someone On Welfare **
Posted: 11/9/2008 4:15:42 PM
'flipping humbergers' is a great chance to young kids who just got out of the college and live with mom and dad, but would like to have little bit of money for themselves. It isn't an option for a mature individual who has children on her or his own, they can direct their energies into something more productive and substantial, such as inquire about getting a job training, (there are programs in place, supported by the government), or just explore other options of getting a mediocre job that will open other opportunities. Certainly, flipping hamburgers is only transitory state, and so should be welfare assistance. I am not talking about the situation of a person who does not have any other alternatives, but IMO, social assistance should be only temporary, unless the person is permanently disabled, and unable to return to work...
 kellygrl51
Joined: 9/21/2008
Msg: 770
Dating Someone On Welfare **
Posted: 11/11/2008 3:37:15 PM
"And when your child can't get their medication and necessary items then this is not a better life for them."

My hospital is always hiring housekeeping and transporter employees, they offer medical benefits, but I guess thats an option NO one would want to explore either...
 capegardengirl
Joined: 4/29/2006
Msg: 771
Dating Someone On Welfare **
Posted: 11/12/2008 6:17:14 PM
kellygirl
You need to read Nickel and Dimed: On Not Getting By in America
Flipping burgers isnt the way out of poverty.
Theres no security there or ability to survive on what one is paid.
Get real here.
Its a dead end job where most workers have to choose between utilities and food for their children.
God forbid if a child gets sick and the mother has to take off work to care for her child.
Then shes fired from that dead end job and replaced by another widget.
Ive worked with countless single mothers who work in dead end hospital jobs and service jobs who were fired for taking time off to care for a sick child.

How come that predicament is never addressed with the criticisers.??
Why are employers allowed to get away with THAT?

People like to preach and dictate what others "should" do but when asked about the specifics and complexities of actually doing the job and it fails due to no fault of their own, then they have no answers!
And they dont hold the employer accountable for THEIR actions either.
 moneyforyou
Joined: 1/26/2009
Msg: 772
Dating Someone On Welfare
Posted: 2/3/2009 8:05:48 AM
yes, please! i love these women because they love me more, maybe they are a little dependent on me?
 mynameisSarah
Joined: 12/31/2008
Msg: 773
Dating Someone On Welfare
Posted: 2/3/2009 1:55:26 PM
Damn.... that other thread was a total repeat, huh? I guess the guy didn't do a thread search. In a way, I personally feel it's a little superficial to worry about whether or not the girl (or guy for that matter just to be pc) is on welfare. I mean, s h i t... If you are so concerned over money and what not, stay away from me. That world is foreign to me and I don't understand it.

I don't want anyone around me that judgmental anyways... how's the view from high up on that pedestal? I bet I can find a prettier holler, lol.
 SlamminSamantha
Joined: 10/11/2008
Msg: 774
Dating Someone On Welfare **
Posted: 3/26/2009 8:35:39 AM
No, I would not date someone on welfare.
Was that the question???
 tigershark7778
Joined: 3/18/2009
Msg: 775
Dating Someone On Welfare **
Posted: 3/26/2009 10:08:08 AM
Someone should have planned their life a little better.
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