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 Mandrake48
Joined: 12/19/2005
Msg: 101
Dating Someone On WelfarePage 5 of 33    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33)
Attn: snow flake...sienna leigh....ms nicki....badger!

I don't know if your friend has a computer, but maybe some of you could extend the hand of friendship to her until she can make some of her own???? Just a thought! Of course, if you are willing!
 badger1969
Joined: 1/11/2006
Msg: 102
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Dating Someone On Welfare
Posted: 3/18/2006 1:52:44 PM
You mean her own comments? I can see that, as a species we are cursed with being to judgemental! Sorry, friend of flake!
 Mandrake48
Joined: 12/19/2005
Msg: 103
Dating Someone On Welfare
Posted: 3/18/2006 1:58:13 PM
Sorry badger...thought you were one of the gals...oops! my bad!!!
 ©hristina
Joined: 2/19/2006
Msg: 104
Dating Someone On Welfare
Posted: 3/18/2006 1:58:45 PM
She does not have a computer.. whe I get home from work today i will be showing her this on my laptop so that she can see what came up.. it was soemthing we discussed last night... she is interested in seeing the responses that come forward.

And for badger I believe.. you asked about her kids.. there are 2.. 3 weeks and 2 years
Dating Someone On Welfare
Posted: 3/18/2006 2:00:37 PM
I agree that a proper education will help anyone's circumstances, but that is not possible for some single mothers, such as myself. (read my first post) I do plan on going back to school once my youngest starts first grade. (Then he will be in school full day instead of only a couple hours per day.) Believe me, as soon as I am able to, I will be in school. It has always been my dream to become a child psychologist and when I can make that happen, I will. Until then, I ignore those who are too ignorant to see me for who I really am.
 badger1969
Joined: 1/11/2006
Msg: 106
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Dating Someone On Welfare
Posted: 3/18/2006 2:07:19 PM
I have 2 boys myself and after they were born I had the ol' vasectomy. I think she might be far more likely to find someone if perhaps she had her tubes tied. Just a thought... and I anticipate the bashing to follow!!! LOL
 midlandgirl
Joined: 8/15/2005
Msg: 107
Dating Someone On Welfare
Posted: 3/18/2006 2:09:10 PM
You know, there are other kinds of "welfare" out there also that are beyond a state sponsored paycheck. Example: Say a extremely comfortable or unmotivated "trust fund" recipient...I would and have rejected this as well - it's a dealbreaker for me...

Work, contribution, and involvement in a society has many forms from a paid position to doing what's right in the world as an expression of what you value dearly. Say volunteer activities or other forms of supporting causes.

There are millions of good reasons to enroll in a system of welfare as well, and especially if health, safety and children are involved. It is neglectful to not explore those channels if they can assist a situation.

I have my own personal codes, experiences and reasons why it is not an option for me, all are very sound, valid and important to me. What I choose for me through my life is just that, it's about "my" life, and not someone else.

With that in mind, it really does for me boil down to a single individual choice, and not about a blanket judgement about what works for other people. I cannot fathom any reason that it could work for me being who I am, what my life and family situation is; it would be doomed to failure before it got off the ground as a benefit to who I am and am about.

What works and is reasonable for one never should be the rule for all.
 bubbly37
Joined: 10/19/2005
Msg: 108
Dating Someone On Welfare
Posted: 3/18/2006 2:09:39 PM
I am a single mother of 4 children who WAS on welfare immediately after my divorce. I didn't get child support. I ended up taking a course about 6 months after and went on student loan with some assistance at that time. Then when I didn't find a job in that field I looked at other job possibilities. I don't have my grade 12, and had NO job experience at this point, but I STILL managed to get myself off the system. I am now working in a government job as a Health care provider. I make decent money, and am proud that I have made it to this point!My self esteem is wayyyyy better now that I know I am not dependent on the government to support me(aside from the fact that I now work for them!! LOL). I had my share of jobs where I was making less than I did on welfare, but the self esteem issue alone was soooo worth it for me. Not to mention the kids...children that are on welfare quite often get teased a lot...and this was the case with my kids even though I was on it a very short time. And just so you know, I STILL am not getting support even though he has been court ordered to pay $949 a month....he's sitting at $19,000 in arrears as of today. I have a sense of pride in knowing that I do it on my own!! So to answer the question about whether I would date someone who was on it? Under the right circumstances yes....but if he was just sitting on his ass all day and not even trying to make a difference in his life the answer is HELL NO!!
Dating Someone On Welfare
Posted: 3/18/2006 2:12:45 PM
My ex and I decided after our son was born that we didn't want anymore. I was going to get my tubes tied, but my doctor would not do it because in her opinion I was too young and might change my mind. So he got a viasectomy. I'm glad I didn't get my tubes tied becuase now that I am divorced from him, I have the ability to give my next husband (If I'm ever lucky enough to have a next one.) a child he can call his own. However, I am very happy with the 2 kids I have now and if I never have another, that is fine by me. I'm just glad I have a choice in the matter.

This was in response to Badger's post.
 harley4ever
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 110
Dating Someone On Welfare
Posted: 3/18/2006 2:23:28 PM
original beautiful blue

that was a great story and can i say im proud of you girl very very inspirational


cojo4, what can i say about you boy? not the quickest chicken in the coop im thinking
 midlandgirl
Joined: 8/15/2005
Msg: 111
Dating Someone On Welfare
Posted: 3/18/2006 2:26:52 PM
Snow -

Does your neighbor have the ability to apply to be a daycare provider?

She can stay home, produce an income, be self-employed, educate herself, and do what she needs to do for herself and children this way.

If she doesn't have the personality for it, understandable, but could you just ask her if she's ever considered it?
 badger1969
Joined: 1/11/2006
Msg: 112
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Dating Someone On Welfare
Posted: 3/18/2006 2:28:47 PM
You are definitely an inspiration!!!
 ©hristina
Joined: 2/19/2006
Msg: 113
Dating Someone On Welfare
Posted: 3/18/2006 2:31:39 PM
Midland, thats actually a very good suggestion. i don't know if she's ever considered it, but I will definitely run it by her. No doubt she would have to move, but for the sake of being employed, AND having your children by your side its a small price to pay. Constructive Criticism. I appreciate it, and I will talk to her tonight about it. I don't think she has any kind of record, she's a good mom, might be great for her..

see, CONSTRUCTIVE criticism is often useful.. unlike some of the drivel im reading in here.... THNAK YOU

COJO: For someone with such a high IQ, your posts sure don't reflect it. Is it just me or is his ramblings making less and less sense?
 Mandrake48
Joined: 12/19/2005
Msg: 114
Dating Someone On Welfare
Posted: 3/18/2006 2:34:33 PM
Woohoo you go girl...you rock!!! Make it happen!
 Sienna_leigh
Joined: 2/16/2006
Msg: 115
Dating Someone On Welfare
Posted: 3/18/2006 2:36:31 PM
Yeah, snowflake - less and less....and less. My guess is that Jack Daniels came over for a visit and never left.
 Mandrake48
Joined: 12/19/2005
Msg: 116
Dating Someone On Welfare
Posted: 3/18/2006 2:38:32 PM
Harley...I think Cojo is short for Black Hole...and he fell into one!!
 ©hristina
Joined: 2/19/2006
Msg: 117
Dating Someone On Welfare
Posted: 3/18/2006 2:39:13 PM
Well then Mr. Daniels has a higher tolerance level than me.. because a few minutes would be too much for this girl!


I'm thinking I need Jack Daniels just to get through his posts, I can't imagine a few weeks with him..


 badger1969
Joined: 1/11/2006
Msg: 118
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Dating Someone On Welfare
Posted: 3/18/2006 2:39:33 PM
I think it is unfair that men cannot have babies, then perhaps we could possibly face the difficult question of staying home and caring for our kids or not...
 harley4ever
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 119
Dating Someone On Welfare
Posted: 3/18/2006 2:39:48 PM
mandrake

maybe he was attempting to spell Cujo but Jack got in the way
 badger1969
Joined: 1/11/2006
Msg: 120
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Dating Someone On Welfare
Posted: 3/18/2006 2:40:49 PM
It's coming!!! I know it's coming!!!
 Mandrake48
Joined: 12/19/2005
Msg: 121
Dating Someone On Welfare
Posted: 3/18/2006 2:43:12 PM
Harley LMAO...now that was good!!!!!!
Dating Someone On Welfare
Posted: 3/18/2006 2:43:21 PM
Thanks for the kind words, Harley4ever. And the same to everyone else on this forum who sees that I am a person. Not some peice of dirt that Cojo, the idiot thinks that I am.
 midlandgirl
Joined: 8/15/2005
Msg: 123
Dating Someone On Welfare
Posted: 3/18/2006 2:44:39 PM
Snow, she may not need to move at all...

Different child care providers have different requirements on the space that they use in their homes.

Small daycare providers (say six children present at any one time) - only have to meet minimum space requirements (here it is 35 square feet per child in usable activity space).

She might want to explore different community groups in the area, talk to a few people who do service in the area, it's not as hard as you think.

There are hundreds upon hundreds of programs that she can apply for to assist in the start up of a small business also, everything from subsized housing to free housing for the business, there are reimbursement programs galore....I could ramble on all day and night about the great things that being self-employed in this field does for a woman or anyone really....

Assuming that she has 3 children now, all who must be home 24/7 - she still has room to build a business (with a enrollment of 3 children additional = 6 capacity) - to a business that could easily produce 90 thousand dollars a year minimum. (not counting outside grants, gifts, programs and other reimbursements..)

Math breakdown:

3 shifts per day, 3 additional children @ ea shift, still room for nine children in 24 hours...each child represents a minimum of 10K per year at fulltime enrollment...

If it works for her, that would be truly amazing for her kids and her life. She could run her own schedule anyway she sees fit and adjust her time allotment to allow for her education and social life also.

She has limitless potential to build into a bigger business also, from an enrollment of 6 to a larger home, to a daycare center which can hold up to 75 children on site...

It's a crazy life, but if she loves kids, it could be her utopia...and since she is already sensitive to the needs of mothers, would most likely run a heck of a program for kids at disadvantaged risk categories..
Your next post about her life could be:

"My neighbor, she can't date anyone because she fears they are gold-diggers." LOL

Life is strange that way.
 harley4ever
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 124
Dating Someone On Welfare
Posted: 3/18/2006 2:49:36 PM
OBB

youre welcome little lady,one advice ignore fellas like Cojo guys like him are turned down by young ladies like you and he blames the world for his problems
 ©hristina
Joined: 2/19/2006
Msg: 125
Dating Someone On Welfare
Posted: 3/18/2006 2:50:43 PM
I have to admit Midland.. when you first started to post in this thread, I wasn't sure how to take you. But you've been a wealth of insight and valuable advice.. Like many others on here, these are the responses I am hoping to show Sarah, in an effort to show her the world is not against her.

Thank you to those who have shared kind words, encouragement, their own experience and advice. No thank you to those hitting the bottle and saucing up the thread.


And everybody should stop picking on the way Cojo types.. I realized something....

He types... the same way... Christopher Walken... talks
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