| Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 11/16/2007 9:46:21 AM | Personally picking someone for one attribute seems like a recipe for failure.
Do I like people who would test in the Higher IQ catagory? Usually if not frequently. Especially if their intelligence is spread over a variety of interests and they have used it to develope some people skills. I am a social creature but find creativity and ideas a serious draw. It would be very difficult for me to be drawn to someone with a limited vocabulary that could not carry on a conversation.
The idea that "smart" people are one dementional is reverse predjudice and a myth. Most extreamly smart people don't beat you over the head with it and know when to meet you on your own level. You would not talk adult topics with a teen but you still find them fun to be with occasionaly.
Do all extreamly smart people know or care about some of the social rules? Probably not as much because they have been segregated out and focused on their intelligence. They have learned survival doesn't depend on falling in with the crowd or submitting to the pecking order. Sometimes that makes them less ridgid, something I like, sometimes it doesn't. It is sad if they have been excluded and over compensate or quit trying to blend in entirely but it can make it a blast to share some of the everyday things if it is also firsts in their lives.
Would it be fun to be in a relationship with someone who I constantly felt I was having to reach intellectually to connect with? Who I felt often found me boreing? Or was frequently a teacher more than a peer? Probably not. Has it happen? No.
Have I been in relationships where a guy thought he couldn't "keep up" and was convinced that I would always "take charge" because I could figure out the solutions, or resented it when I did? Yes. If some guy starts out with "You would never love a guy like me" I walk away. Some things can be proved but preference, attraction, love and fidelity are not some of them. | |
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| Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 11/16/2007 10:23:48 AM |
The idea that "smart" people are one dementional is reverse predjudice and a myth
This stereotype is the result of attributing characteristics found in a certain type of intellectual to everyone who has a high IQ. Not all intelligent people are boring introverts with no social skills or "common sense". And possessing a high Intellectual Quotient does NOT negate the ability to have a high Emotional Quotient. They are not mutually exclusive. You can have a big brain and a big heart and a great sense of humor simultaneously.
I don't like to tell people what my IQ is because it scares them. Seriously, they look at me like I must be a freak, as though they have no way of relating to me as a human being. But if I don't mention it, then I blend in perfectly; I'm often the life of the party. I relate perfectly well.
Intelligence is not the most important thing I look for in a partner, though. I would much rather be with someone who shares my emotional IQ than someone who is a brainiac. Thoughtfulness, sincerity, sense of humor, self-respect, the ability to sense when another person needs a hug or a kind word, those are the things that make a person a good match in my book. Being able to keep up in intellectual discussions is a great perk, but not a deal breaker.
Incidentally, the highest IQ of any known person is, I believe, attributed to Leonardo daVanci, who's intelligence is estimated to have been over 400! | |
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| Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 11/16/2007 11:59:48 AM | | This is correct since there are varying types of inteligence. One of those types is introspection/metacognition, which we atrribute to a high emotional IQ. The ability to examine your own thoughts in compare and contrast to others is what defines it. A higher IQ usually has a spill over effect in that supports at least an average to above average likely hood of a higher emotional IQ even though this is not a gurantee in all situations. Also, the other side of the fence must be considered here too when looking at an average IQ person involved with a higher IQ person. There are probably a good chance that the average person may not comprehend the higher person due to cognizant dissonace and different schemtic mindsets forming counscious state parameters. | |
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| Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 11/16/2007 4:16:25 PM | Looks like canhelpu read a book...try Dissonance , intelligence, etc ..If you are going to BS , try to learn to spell ....
Yes I did, one of the reasons I was attracted to him. He was a member of Mensa, and he ended up being a dork
what do you expect? , mensa is a group of people who feel they are vastly superior to the rest of the world because they have a high IQ, It is a dork club. everybody I have met in Mensa is socially weak. All members of Mensa will let you know they are a member within minutes of meeting them. .. "gee this ham sandwich is good"..."but the ones at my mensa meeting are better".
In addition IQ alone has no specific use. You need an aptitude also..IE A massive IQ will do you no good as a engineer if you have no mechanical aptitude.
Mensa may play well when bragging to your students who are easily impressed..But Mr business professor ..have you actually ran a business??..If so why are you working for professor wages instead of CEO wages???
Im sure I will get nailed by someone on this site from Mensa..so 149 ...good enough???..Now I will be at the pub..you go to the Mensa meeting..see who has more fun. | |
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ngat73
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Joined: 6/10/2007
Msg: 330 | |
| Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 11/16/2007 4:50:39 PM | | Most men I choose to date are usually pretty intelligent and I am sure most had pretty high IQ's. Suprisingly as much of a wild child I was I have a pretty good IQ myself. I find intelligence very attractive. Of course, these guys were hot too. I love tall hot Geeks. So my type. Yum. Those type of guys are the best for the long haul. | |
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| Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 11/16/2007 4:55:32 PM | | I have a very high IQ and have been told I'm very annoying to be around some times , but it's not my fault for being intelligent they should be in my shoes maybe if they tried to keep up a little more some times it wouldn't be such a hassle. | |
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| Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 11/16/2007 5:21:25 PM | 1. People with HI IQ's may be smart, but it's not smart in any way that matters, and they are dumb in other ways, and they are socially inept.
Ahhhh, now I feel better about myself , now that the HI IQ people have been torn down shorter than a tree stump.
2. I am so smart and I like other smart people and I think smartness is pretty smart, and good.
Ahhh, now I feel good about my smart self showing off how smart I am in this thread about smart people like me.
Either one, you can't lose. This thread is perfect! | |
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| Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 11/16/2007 5:24:27 PM | Why can there not be a balance between intelligence and common sense? Intelligence is not measured by an IQ, but rather than the ability to use and put to practice the things we learn. Personally I appreciate a person, yes a woman, with a great deal of intelligence, providing she knows how to utilize it.
Ngat73........seems like you are on the physical side and not the intellectual or personality side.
~~SSNPA~~ | |
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| Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 11/16/2007 5:31:09 PM | I was married to 2 men with high IQs and was best friends with two (one a woman) in high school. A high IQ is a great thing, but if the person doesn't have a high EQ (emotional quotient) as well, they may not be successful in life. I worked for a university for 16 years and a lot of people with extremely high IQs could not deal with people and had a hard time finding a position they thought matched their intelligence . . . always in jobs beneath their capabilities. My second husband was a genius, but was very timid in some ways. Though he made friends, he was awkward around authority figures and was most comfortable working with his hand. My late husband was one who had both high IQ and EQ. He got along with almost everyone, did well in school and professionally.
I find stupid people boring and would rather put up with the insecurities and foibles of eggheads. | |
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| Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 11/16/2007 5:32:27 PM | i have, i am told, a high intelligence. however, as a child the "IQ" test bored me so i put in random answers and left to have the rest of the day off! then i only had one wrong on the statewide reading test and was reading at college level in second grade (with a low iq!?*). the teachers were baffled and so they interviewed me. i confessed to not taking the iq test seriously and, to me, the question i answered wrong on the reading test was "illogical". later on in adulthood, i was considering testing and joining mensa with friends who wanted me to join them, but then i got lymes. forget it after that. my brain comes and goes, with respect to my abstract and calculating abilities, as well as memory. i am able still to think conceptually.
that being said, i had extreme grades in school --depending upon whether i liked the teacher. kind of like ADD and again, being bored with formal education. my choice in men resulted in marrying one mensa husband (which did not work out, because of his other issues). the remainder of the men in my life were smart, but not intellectual. some were street smart and some did not go to college or finish it. intellect without action is annoying to me. but that's me. everyone is different. it depends also on what each person in a relationship is lacking and whether this becomes a source of friction or a source of complimentary partner potential. i need someone who is calming to me. if i want to debate an issue, i don't do it with my manfriend. that's not what our relationship is about. he's more grounded than i am . so, he steadies me and all my "thinking" and "planning", etc. especially now with lymes, i need to quiet my brain. | |
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| Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 11/16/2007 5:56:48 PM | In addition IQ alone has no specific use. You need an aptitude also..IE A massive IQ will do you no good as a engineer if you have no mechanical aptitude.
I must be on the low end of the IQ scores.. I seem to get lost reading all of this highly intelligent and well written smart stuff... roflma..
I agree, one needs aptitude... I have dealt with many architects that understand bearing loads and and building codes. Yet couldn't build what they design..
Do you think about my IQ when you drive over a bridge or walk into a building that I have constructed?
How about that new house you bought? Do you think about the ignorant people that built it for you? Or that car my dumb brother built?
You may call me ignorant because of a test.. But when the next hurricane hits You will call me!!! To rebuild your homes and cities...
~Belly~ | |
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| Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 11/16/2007 6:11:01 PM | IQ is one of those measures thats more of how you know vs what you know. I have been measured a number of times and my IQ really tends to top the charts. Yes, I absorb things like a sponge, I pick up on a lot of things people don't and I can be much more creative than most. Thats just part of the job.
Personally, I'd rather pick wisdom many times.
Interestingly enough, thats actually a good pairing. some of my best friends, and those who really 'got me' weren't really the most intelligent at times, but very very wise. we worked famously together.
Two extremely smart people together. its really hit or miss and usually miss. Ego and sometimes that natural competitive spirit gets in the way.
Really, as long as they have enough to hold up a conversation and they don't have a need to wear their brain on their sleeve so to speak, is there really that much of a difference?
Smarts don't usually equal brains. | |
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| Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 11/16/2007 6:18:04 PM | | Except for the fact smarts and brains mean the same thing. Same for clever, knowledgeable and wise. Bright, sharp, quick. On what is your claim based, that two smart people usually don't get on well due to ego and natural competitiveness? | |
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ngat73
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Joined: 6/10/2007
Msg: 339 | |
| Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 11/16/2007 6:28:34 PM | sunshinenPA-No my ex was total Geek. But he is hot and takes care of himself. We were together for eight years until the inevitable. Dated him in my early 20's to my early 30's. I wasn't attracted to him at first. Had met him in Kansas at a bar. He was the first guy I had a decent conversation with. He was like a dork, the way he danced when we had danced that night. Usually they are earnest and sweet. I dunno what it was but we connected and we ended up dating like 5 months later when I realized that I really loved this man.
I have 3 degrees and finished my MBA in a year and I appreciate education and have to be with someone that appreciates higher and continuous learning. As I have said in my profile I am curious by nature, in all aspects of life. How, would you think I would manage having a long-term relationship with a guy that just didn't get it? I love having intellectual and practical conversation. I personally think everyone is pretty much of equal intelligence coming straight from the womb. However, I personally believe that based on the effort that they put in life, at our age now our intelligence is based on taking advantage of resources and hard work.
I need a conservative man in my life to keep us balance. Intelligence men are not always conservative but for the most part they are. I can help keep both of us entertained. I love being silly and men that can make me laugh, however, to be witty requires a decent amount of intelligence. I like to intrgued rather than struggle to appear interested-that is work. But I do prefer very intelligent men. I can blast themwith questions, and, they are touched that I am fascinated by them.
What is better than to have a man that you want to roll around in bed with and lay there and just talk afterwards about life, cars, fuel, stocks, realestate, physics, traveling, philosphy, anything really... and be able to understand eachother. Teach eachother and merge our world. Yea, sometimes you just need to past right out. But to have a choice would be ideal. And, imagine the partnership. We would be definately a power couple. | |
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| Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 11/16/2007 6:42:03 PM | I am extremely attracted to intelligence; however, I don't really enjoy the repeated company of someone that deems himself to be an "intellectual".
My IQ is above average but not too high. I can discuss many subject with knowledge; but
more importantly I am open to conversations about pretty much anything...as long as it
remains a conversation....not someone "talking down to me".
A few months ago, I had a man visit from California. I had Googled him and was amazed to
find him 3800+ times. His engineering/physics background was extremely impressive but
I wasn't sure how we would relate personally. Turns out we clicked really well. He has and still does travel extensively.....had lots of interesting things to discuss. However, he loved my voice and liked to hear what I had to say......he kept asking me questions that led to stories that he enjoyed...so we never got into any heavy technical discussions.
So who knows......I don't do STUPID...but I'm impressed by someone that just has a lot of
street smarts/honed skills/success of a personal nature. As long as a date is comfortable with himself....I can usually maintain the same level of comfort.
JMO
Becca | |
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| Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 11/16/2007 9:06:19 PM | I'm attracted to intelligence too, but I've known people who were extraordinarily intelligent and appeared to be pretty ordinary, and those who appear to be intelligent and merely have a good memory or an acerbic wit. There are people who are weak in one area and brilliant in others. I think the question is whether highly intelligent people are capable of bringing anything to the table in a relationship. Would they be interested in you? Your ideas and insights? If the person feels the need to continually pontificate they'd better be looking for a "not so smart" match who will be content to be an admirer/fan/sycophant. Intelligence is stimulating when it's paired with an open and caring mind. I guess the balance between the IQ and the EQ should be a major factor. Ever had a real conversation with the master mechanic, taxi driver or habitat volunteer and been pleasantly surprised at how stimulating and thought provoking the conversation was? By the same token, people in those same roles could be bigoted, chauvinistic, opinionated and ignorant. The same could apply in any professional area. It's more about personality paired with intelligence, isn't it?
IQ is not a finite quantity and the score is variable with testing conditions. I find it questionable when anyone feels compelled to state their IQ numbers. It starts to sound like "my dad can beat your dad". Why compete? It doesn't need validated if you're comfortable with it. The proof is in what you say and the way you think and problem solve. It's not whatcha got, it's whatcha do with it.
Just my opinion. | |
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| Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 11/16/2007 9:11:22 PM | "Looks like canhelpu read a book...try Dissonance , intelligence, etc ..If you are going to BS , try to learn to spell ....'
Sorry, some of us were working and have just enough time to type and post. Hmm, don't see a spellchecker on here either.
Also, when did misspelling automatically make an argument BS? Note, it's usually the ones that can't refute the argument that reach for the rhetorical grab bag and spill it's contents.....
Let's try your preposition in an analogy here:
Me: "Two + Too = Four"
Teacher: "learn to spell if you are going to BS"
Me: "So it doesn't equal four?"
Better still is how your reply actually shows the theory of dissonance......way to play it's mascot by putting on the uniform.... | |
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| Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 11/16/2007 9:25:10 PM | | I haven't joined Mensa because, as Groucho said, I wouldn't want to belong to a club that would have me as a member. | |
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| Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 11/16/2007 9:30:34 PM | | My IQ is well above average but I am no brainiac. You are not very bright until you figure out that you have lots left to learn. Personally I would just like to find a man who doesn't need a dictionary to have a discussion with me. | |
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| Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 11/16/2007 10:03:46 PM | | I dated an ivy league educated surgeon for a while. It was clear after one game of scrabble, who was going to win every board game. | |
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| Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 11/16/2007 10:09:49 PM | Note, it's usually the ones that can't refute the argument that reach for the rhetorical grab bag and spill it's contents.....
Let's try your preposition in an analogy here:
Me: "Two + Too = Four"
Teacher: "learn to spell if you are going to BS"
Me: "So it doesn't equal four?"
Better still is how your reply actually shows the theory of dissonance......way to play it's mascot by putting on the uniform....
Wow and I thought I was special! This is the same crap I got when I disagreed with him.. Just changed a few words...lol
I guess it's like Einstein! Every suit he owned was the same. That way he wasted no time to figure out what he should where that day.. Time and thought saving yes! Yet so unoriginal....
~Belly~
I have met many with an extremely high IQ, yet dumb as a door knob.. Helpyourself2 understanding what that means....lol | |
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| Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 11/17/2007 2:45:05 AM | Something else that may complicate the matter is if someone has a high IQ, but the pool of women/men in the same socio-economic circles do not? Perhaps not a low IQ, but a lack of intellectual curiosity. Will the lack of stimulation in the relationship result in feelings of isolation? Will the other person feel like she's at a disadvantage, thus allowing negative emotions and self-esteem issues to rule the relationship?
Sounds like Pfm1011 was expecting to get laid at the Mensa meetings. | |
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Tarnj
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Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 349 | |
| Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 11/17/2007 3:04:07 AM | My IQ's up in the top quarter for the UK, not super high but high enough. People around me have called me a mad genius for many years, I'm not sure why?! As a kid I learnt that the really academic kids didn't have much of a social life, it would be all work work work, I preferred to be out playing sports with my friends rather than honing the already high intelligence like these kids would be doing (possibly forced to do so by their parents). My folks would bang on about such and such's child who's in the papers for having brilliant grades, I would just tell them I feel sorry for the kid, chances are he/she doesn't have much of a life :(
I'm just as disinterested in shallow airhead girls as I would be with workaholic geeks! Just one-dimensional, unless you dig real deep. | |
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| Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 11/17/2007 3:22:30 AM | Someone can have all the brains in the world and not have any street sense. And I know people who are highly intelligent, and socially inept.
I know people who are mechanical geniuses but can't read or comprehend other subjects.
And after talking to a friend about a foster kid they had, that was 'labeled' as mentally disabled.. because of what he didn't know... I don't think that you can truly judge a persons intelligence.. by answers on some 'test'. (and before someone ask, the kid at 3 didn't know what goulashes were or an umbrella.. you don't use them on a farm, the mud sucks them off your feet along with the shoes they are spose to protect, and umbrellas scare the livestock plus you can't hold that AND feed at the same time). 
The way I see it, if they can keep up with I start talking about totally off the wall things, and have some street smarts, the last thing I'm going to be doing is asking for the results of their iq test.  | |
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