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| | Dating Someone With A High IQPage 15 of 20 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20) | I chose not to read all 15 pages of this thread, just the first and the last page, I am guessing everything in between is redundant and personal experiences.
My IQ is 136, I'm not an idiot nor an idiot savant, though I do have a nephew who is nearly an idiot savant in the genius dept. He's 32, a virgin, not that this is a bad thing, does not want a driver's license, is a remarkable statistician, He scores something like 165-175, but can't remember to take the trash out on tues or even brush his teeth some days.
He wants to find a woman but has zero social skills, and has a crush on a fellow church goer, and it sounds like they are dating, but she's separated with three kids. He doesn't have the capacity to be in that type of relationship. He has always lived at home, and my sister, his mother, knows how incapable he is of being responsible, but, he's grown and by all rights he should be out of the house.
The guy can't function alone, and he's certainly not a catch for anyone. He is brilliant yet he will always be trapped within something within the broad range of autism. I have always suspected Aspergers. He's truly a child in a man's suit, but with that I know everything attitude, because he has that calculating wiring in his head.
Intelligence is a good thing, but it's not everything. The bottom line is, choose someone your equal if you can. No one wants to be talked down to, I hope to find someone who talks to me as an equal. I'm not above you nor behind you nor below you. Beside you, this is where your partner should be. | |
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| Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 11/17/2007 4:50:08 AM |
My IQ is 136, I'm not an idiot nor an idiot savant, though I do have a nephew who is nearly an idiot savant in the genius dept. He's 32, a virgin, not that this is a bad thing, does not want a driver's license, is a remarkable statistician, He scores something like 165-175, but can't remember to take the trash out on tues or even brush his teeth some days.
He wants to find a woman but has zero social skills, and has a crush on a fellow church goer, and it sounds like they are dating, but she's separated with three kids. He doesn't have the capacity to be in that type of relationship. He has always lived at home, and my sister, his mother, knows how incapable he is of being responsible, but, he's grown and by all rights he should be out of the house.
The guy can't function alone, and he's certainly not a catch for anyone. He is brilliant yet he will always be trapped within something within the broad range of autism. I have always suspected Aspergers. He's truly a child in a man's suit, but with that I know everything attitude, because he has that calculating wiring in his head. I was like your nephew, but much, much worse. However, when I lived in a non-critical and patient environment, I changed to become very, very capable and developed a lot of social skills. It astonished everyone. I moved back home, and their criticism almost completely destroyed my confidence and my ability to function, and everyone believed that I could not survive on my own. My family threw me out, and I chose to stay away from them, even since the. I have not seen my family for a year and a half, and since then, I have learned to live completely on my own, take care of all my bills, do all my own laundry, and look after my place. Currently, I am learning to drive, and despite my issues, am making very good headway in driving. I expect to learn to drive before the end of next year, which at 37, is exceptional. But such a quick learning curve is the norm for people like I & your brother.
The best example you will ever see of someone who is like your brother is Bette Davis in the film "Now, Voyager".
What people fail to realise is that people with Aspergers are simply more sensitive than other people. If you tell your nephew that he is brilliant at plumbing, and rubbish at statistics, every day, for a year, he will become brilliant at plumbing, and will quickly be able to fix all your plumbing problems, and become rubbish at Statistics, and will quickly lose his job. However, today's society is all about "me, me, me" and people with Aspergers are all about "you, you, you". They simply don't fit well in a self-oriented society, because they are more interested in the welfare of others than their own, and listen to others a lot more than other people think.
I suggest that you think on this. | |
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| Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 11/17/2007 5:29:32 AM | With a 136 IQ, you're borderline genius. Genius starts at 140. My shrink suggested that my IQ is around 140 but he hasn't tested me yet, so it's TBD.
So yeah, your nephew does sound as though he has AS. He should get neurologically tested to make sure. If he does have AS, though, there are ways to learn how to socialize. I have AS too and I've learned how to socialize fairly well.
A tip for him would be to go through behavioral therapy or for you to give him behavioral therapy himself. Put him in simulated social situations and correct him where he fails and tell him to take notes. Have him carry a handheld computer or a smartphone (Preferably a handheld because people with AS lose things easily and smartphones are a b*tch to replace) with a list of social situations and what to do in which situations and have him study that list every time he goes out.
As for the dating a smart person, personally, I would rather date a smart woman with no social skills than a dumb woman with all the social skills in the world. Pillowtalk turns me on and if your pillowtalk is boring, there is no long term potential to the relationship.
Unhinged girls that were spontaneous and skilled socially were fun to hang out with back when I was 20, but now, they honestly bore me because they really have nothing to offer other than a good time. | |
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| Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 11/17/2007 5:39:29 AM | Let me get you all the women that I have dated phone numbers....
You can call and ask them....
 | |
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| Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 11/17/2007 5:47:14 AM | I have copied a few of the posts that I really liked.......Hope someone coming in can appreciate them together......I dont know about IQ but I consider myself a pretty smart cookie and I love to interact with other smart people...whatever their IQ..so there! 
*I would like to date a smart man. But, I don't want to be constantly told that I don't understand this or that (especially when I do understand). Plus a lot of smart men can't handle smart women or they feel competitive all the time - this is so boring. I don't care if anyone thinks I'm smart or dumb I just want someone to treat me right and have a good sense of humor.
*Have I been in relationships where a guy thought he couldn't "keep up" and was convinced that I would always "take charge" because I could figure out the solutions, or resented it when I did? Yes. If some guy starts out with "You would never love a guy like me" I walk away. Some things can be proved but preference, attraction, love and fidelity are not some of them.
*Why can there not be a balance between intelligence and common sense? Intelligence is not measured by an IQ, but rather than the ability to use and put to practice the things we learn. Personally I appreciate a person, yes a woman, with a great deal of intelligence, providing she knows how to utilize it.
*I was married to 2 men with high IQs and was best friends with two (one a woman) in high school. A high IQ is a great thing, but if the person doesn't have a high EQ (emotional quotient) as well, they may not be successful in life. I worked for a university for 16 years and a lot of people with extremely high IQs could not deal with people and had a hard time finding a position they thought matched their intelligence . . . always in jobs beneath their capabilities. My second husband was a genius, but was very timid in some ways. Though he made friends, he was awkward around authority figures and was most comfortable working with his hand. My late husband was one who had both high IQ and EQ. He got along with almost everyone, did well in school and professionally.
*I find stupid people boring and would rather put up with the insecurities and foibles of eggheads
*I am extremely attracted to intelligence; however, I don't really enjoy the repeated company of someone that deems himself to be an "intellectual".
My IQ is above average but not too high. I can discuss many subject with knowledge; but more importantly I am open to conversations about pretty much anything...as long as it remains a conversation....not someone "talking down to me".
*So who knows......I don't do STUPID...but I'm impressed by someone that just has a lot of street smarts/honed skills/success of a personal nature. As long as a date is comfortable with himself....I can usually maintain the same level of comfort.
and finally......lol
*Also, when did misspelling automatically make an argument BS? Note, it's usually the ones that can't refute the argument that reach for the rhetorical grab bag and spill it's contents.....
Let's try your preposition in an analogy here:
Me: "Two + Too = Four"
Teacher: "learn to spell if you are going to BS"
Me: "So it doesn't equal four?"
Better still is how your reply actually shows the theory of dissonance......way to play it's mascot by putting on the uniform....
.........it's been fun, guys... | |
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| Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 11/17/2007 6:32:20 AM | My last boyfriend was extremely intelligent. He had fantastic recall and could explain every historical detail about British history with a kind of joy that transferred itself - I never was that much interested in "history" as a subject when at school, but being with him and his enthusiasm made it come to life. He had a job that was pretty high powered and alot of people went to him for advice and counsel. He always knew what to do about intellectual situations.
That being said though, bar being a good cook - he couldn't do anything practical in the house and had difficulty with emotions... I figure now, well, no-one's perfect and you don't get everything you want all the time in a relationship. I wouldn't want to be with him again because of the emotional difficulties but I would like to be with someone who I could talk to. In between the every day grind, and the exciting heavens, having someone who you can talk to and who understands you is a neccesity, and a good level of intelligence helps this along IMHO. | |
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| Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 11/17/2007 8:57:31 AM | I have yet to hear a woman say of any man that he was good with emotions. Isn't it a standing claim against men, and don't women claim emotions as their domain?
I knew this smart guy but he was a social boob. Well, I wonder how many smart guys who knew you, who were socially adept, said about you that....um, never mind.
Like I said, this thread is for bragging about how smart you are or for tearing down anyone who claims to be smarter than you, and sometimes both at the same time.
The subject is pointless because there are only a very few people whose IQ's are high enough to make a difference, and chances are you will never date one. The subject is really about dating someone with a low IQ, because they are abundant and to them, your IQ is high. Most people will date someone who has an IQ higher than theirs and lower than theirs to the point of noticing it, while hardly anyone will date someone with a very high IQ, just because there aren't many such people with very high IQ's. I like how public awareness of Asparagus Syndrome is higher now, but no, that guy you thought was smart who was an emotional kltutz, he was just of average intelligence and like most men, couldn't make any sense of what women do. | |
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| Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 11/17/2007 3:25:57 PM | good job, dark chocolate!
riding rich has hit it on the head! 12 step says: grant me the serenity to accept the things you cannot change, the courage to change the things you can and the WISDOM to know the difference. d-amn, that's where i always get stuck and have to ponder a lot. IQ often doesn't help there! sometimes it makes it harder to get to the essence, too much analysis paralysis and like said above, forgetting the old EQ! the old adage, would you rather be right or happy? so, it's about who makes you happy, not what is his/her IQ! | |
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| Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 11/20/2007 8:11:52 AM | "Wow and I thought I was special! This is the same crap I got when I disagreed with him.. Just changed a few words...lol"
You are special...little yellow school bus special....
"I guess it's like Einstein! Every suit he owned was the same. That way he wasted no time to figure out what he should where that day.. Time and thought saving yes! Yet so unoriginal"
Even more unoriginal is how you fail to refute the arguments put forth in this thread just like you did in the other thread. That suit you mention must be really comfortable, but dirty since at least mine is clean and CONSISTENT. Yes, objective reason is still a struggle for you. Should I post the same post from the previous thread that will predict your response?
Here, let's work your "reasoning" into our analogy since this should show according to you the crap that exists:
Me: "Two + Too = Four"
Teacher: "learn to spell if you are going to BS"
Me: "So it doesn't equal four?"
Belly: "Ahhh, he said the same thing before in the other class I was in"
Me: "Ok, so it really doesn't eqaul four now?"
"~Belly~"
Hmmmm......Me thinks Belly thinks with his Belly too much. Best to stops your belly achin
"I have met many with an extremely high IQ, yet dumb as a door knob.. Helpyourself2 understanding what that means....lol "
Yes, better still is when the door knob thinks it knows a high IQ when someone turns it........only door knobs would think Einstein's consistent fashion wear would regulate his thinking to being invalid since logic iself is based on the uniform element of universalism in it's application....your feet must be bloody raw appendages from all the chewing you do on them....you know you can't claim disability from self inflicted wounds.... | |
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| Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 11/20/2007 9:35:49 AM | | Intelligence is sexy. Intelligence with confidence and a lil bit ofcockiness is even sexier. BUT add conceit, nastiness or even lack of common sense to it....forget it. | |
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| Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 11/20/2007 9:52:15 AM | ah ah I dunno is this in inches or cms .. ... ar'wee talkin bout mens or phems pah-harts here ...chimp-peer-ickle measure or mate-tric......
Kid if yah learn anything .. learn this ... that emotional intelligence will beat IQ in forming successful pair bonds anytime with any race on the face of planet earth......
There are studies to prove this and Doctors of psychology specializing in relationship therapy can predict with almost 98 percent accuracy if a couple will make it by the way they treat each other in interreaction .. emotionally..... and we are ALL AT THE SHOW HERE ON PLENTY of love to find or sole and cod dabbers ... soooooooo
high IQ is just that ... high IQ or do you have a homonymn deficiency and it was supposed to read... High Haiku or hi-eye-cute.... well if that is the head case .. thnks in advanceah ... ad .. infant-eye-tahum... let's tango.. | |
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| Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 11/20/2007 9:49:21 PM | "Smarts don't usually equal brains."
I think what he is saying here is that... some people are smart in different ways...and that even though we are all equip with a brain it doesn't mean we use it in the same way...perhaps some would beg to differ... not at all.
You can have 'street smarts' and no common sense (brains enough) to handle kids or repair electric wiring.
As far as relationships...never dullify yourself. You are you ...and we are all in a constant state of change. Adjust were ya can...and be yourself (not like you can really be anyone else anyways).
High IQ's clash with all IQ's the same as low...it's not the IQ it's the couple.
Some people are just compatible because they choose to be...others were chosen.
The "One" is who you choose to be with...and if both want to be with each other than they most certainly can make it work.
Just a little Ink blots opinion. | |
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| Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 11/20/2007 9:57:50 PM | | that's a turn-on for me. I prefer guys who are smarter. knows more than I do. who doesn't? | |
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| Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 11/21/2007 11:56:11 AM | Here, let's work your "reasoning" into our analogy since this should show according to you the crap that exists:
Me: "Two + Too = Four"
Teacher: "learn to spell if you are going to BS"
Me: "So it doesn't equal four?"
Belly: "Ahhh, he said the same thing before in the other class I was in"
Me: "Ok, so it really doesn't eqaul four now?"
"~Belly~"
Yikes!!! Belly is the type who thinks he is the smart guy you get and he is the door knob of commoness. | |
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| Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 11/21/2007 12:05:22 PM | Well, I know my IQ, and it's fairly high, but that's never been a requirement for me as far as dating.
I DO think scientist/mathematician types are sexy though, as long as they aren't the pasty pudgy types who never get out from behind the computer! | |
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| Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 11/21/2007 5:03:12 PM | Highly Intelligent people- like people who are financially secure- rarely bring it up during the dating process. A little bit like manners and kindness these attributes if held in great excess can be off- putting(in much the same way the phrase off-putting is to this comment) If you get my point you understand the thread flow.  | |
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| Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 11/21/2007 5:18:28 PM | Ever notice someone really smart can turn something really simple into something totally complicated?  | |
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| Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 11/21/2007 6:50:01 PM | This thread is fascinating (esp scorpiomover and the gal he's responding to--354 and 353) further up this page. I landed in the 144 IQ range; my last couple of posts involve a man who has an even higher IQ (fascinating, actually), but social skills are blithering...well, I never heard about Apergers being a "you you you" issue--how CAN a date possibly know and understand the nuances of a disability if they are not warned about the specifics? How does one divine what the limitations are--when they're wildly outside the "norm"?
((how can I be diagnosed with Apergers; i.e., more sensitive than other people--some of the things I take offense at are worthy of avoiding, but some things are soul piercing to me and don't make no nevermind to others))
Smart smart smart, but incapable of simple housekeeping chores, of time management, of negotiating or seeking input. Getting migrane headaches if a "challenging situation" involving other people or anything out of the daily routine--including weather and (evidently) one-on-one with strangers or just about anything with "new" groups. Surely there are clues and warnings that such a disabled can provide--to give context for someone they're interested in dating....the roller coaster is otherwise too wild. No?
I have a severely handicapped sister who operates at the level of a 9 month old. I'm attuned to her peculiar behaviors, and she has a DEFINITE personality.
The glory--and gory--of these two divergent situations is that they are outside the norm, never boring, but definitely unpredictable (not intentionally destructive, not attention seeking). Exhilerating. Frustrating. But how do you know if you're being effective or even useful--vs being destructive in these situations? | |
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poly_p
| | Joined: 11/9/2007
Msg: 369 | |
| Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 11/22/2007 1:43:18 AM | I prefer dating people with high IQs - I need someone who can keep up with me. :)
As mentioned many times over the past hundred posts, IQ =/= EQ or emotional capability. In all things, there must be a balance. But I have found that potential dating partners (in my case, men) don't hold the interest for me if their IQ isn't reasonably high. We just seem to run out of things to talk about rather quickly. | |
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| Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 11/22/2007 2:17:06 AM | | I enjoy the company of someone with something to say whether it be because they have a rich full life or are well travelled. Being articulate and able to express yourself is more important and that usually comes with intelligence I find. Common sense I agree is a must. | |
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lohki
| | Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 371 | |
| Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 11/23/2007 10:40:04 AM |
I once dated an engineer who was brilliant when it came to his work, physics, calculations, etc etc - but he was as stupid as a piece of hair when it came to even basic common sense things. He had no clue how to even change a tire, nor did I because I'd never done it before but it was more than just common sense. I had to actually remind him that tightening up the lug nuts was required. d'oh! He was a total and complete space cadet when it came to the basics in life - I'm sure most 8 yr olds knew more then him when it came to "real life" stuff. I found myself becoming very impatient and frustrated with the lack of common sense - such that I started to lose respect for him and I had to end the relationship. Give me a guy with street smarts and common sense, the abililty to use logic and find solutions to everyday things/situations/issues in life over a brainiac/Mensa-member anyday of the week
WOW, we dated the same guy!
Sometimes I find it tough to measure the difference between intellectual glibness and the astute prowess of a highly functioning mind.
I am attracted to men that are able to articulate on a level that slightly simmers naturally over the surface level above me.
It seems to keep the clever scissors sharp! | |
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| Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 5/12/2008 2:16:49 PM | ~Belly~ wrote:
I have met many with an extremely high IQ, yet dumb as a door knob.. Helpyourself2 understanding what that means....lol
Very good post! 
....I took an IQ test and the result was negative...
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| Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 5/12/2008 3:41:16 PM | To OP, dating someone with high IQ has little to do with anything but ego is the person IQ is the main topic of convo at the dinner table.
People with high IQ are good memorizers and good at analytical thinking, doesnt have anything to do with genius or ability for discovery.
Infact I view most university professors as complete retards, and most artists as the smart ones because they generate content vs. repeat systematically what is already known.
Einstein is only thought to have an IQ of 180+ because thats what people think, in reality it was 100-120 the national average for normal people. His creativity and imagination is where his genius lies.
This is why IQ is total rubbish, you cannot quantify a persons intelligence in any way shape or form because you will be disproven every single time. There will always be exceptions to the rules.
Ask any math professor what 1 + 1 is.. is it really 2, what happens if we think in multiple dimensions.. is it still 2 ?? in reality everything is an approximation, what is 1 a number can you define a number? according to frege who used a number to define a number or reciprocal logic a number cannot even be defined as of YET!... and you people are thinking high IQ scores make you smart.
I am going back to being a fool cause its a simpler life.. poohey to all your high IQ nerds.. btw my IQ is 156 according to the latest online IQ test ( who knows if this score is even accurate, its kinda funny cause it actually goes up everytime I take it as I fix my answers I started at 156 and go up to 163 then back down to 158) and I am no smart cat, I am a moron, I cant even remember to lock my car or lock my apartment door at night and forget where my socks are had a horrible time at school frankly hate it.. and still do at university because I am horrible at memorizing and need to do experiments to prove laws which obviously takes time.
Yet I can apparently do research blind folded and publish papers in a few days that would take most people 18+ months and a masters degree to accomplish.. I am creative, imaginative and think way outside the box.. I am not analytical I cant memorize anything and I dread systematic work.. yuck!
My true IQ is probably mental retardation at maybe 56 the 100 score is from my creativity.
Nobels hate school too:
http://learninfreedom.org/Nobel_hates_school.html
I believe I am not alone..
Btw I have an idea to cure cancer... its too bad the current round of bio and medical nerds would scream bloddy mary before they tried my idea as they don't even understand me and probbaly wont till I am dead then they will be.. oo yes.. he was right ( Laughs).. even bigger fools than I am...
Also ... any of you IQ loving .. guys think people that are intelligent are "ALWAYS" socially inept thats a load of phoey as well... there are many cases myself included were so called High IQ people are extremely social this MIT-nerd-socio-stereotyping gets you no where.
The word intelligence itself not even defined correctly as it should be... a mathematical absurdity. Why because we still dont know what a number is!!! | |
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| Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 5/12/2008 4:04:20 PM | I've been tested and gotten scores from 150 to 160, and I don't think it means jack personally. I take more pride in being a well rounded person than being able to claim some hyper intelligent mensa nonsense. I've known too many people with such focused and narrow intelligence that I in no way want to be a part of that. I can cook, I can clean, I can rebuild an engine, sail a boat, raise a child, grow a plant, tell a joke, fit into social scenarios of all sorts. All of those things mean more to me. But for all my alledged intelligence my memory can be like a sieve, sometimes the simplest of things can ellude me, like online dating!
That said I I think I value intelligence as defined by creativity, a curious nature and some common sense in someone I date more than an IQ score. | |
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| Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 5/12/2008 4:17:40 PM | | Yes I have and with no regrets. As long as a person treats you good, I don't see where their having a high IQ would be a problem. | |
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