| Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 3/19/2006 3:47:31 AM | I've dated people with high IQ's, but low EQ's... that didn't work out well...
I've dated people who believed they had high IQ's, but still didn't seem well versed in social skills... still didn't work well...
I enjoy intelligence in others, but I enjoy it more when it is packaged with social skills and consideration for others.
Those whom I've known with exceptionally high IQ's seem to have trouble finding not just dates, but friends. The ones with exceptionally high IQ's and EQ's become chameleons and can blend in with any group/any intelligence level for a given time (generally, until they lose interest).
I've been told by psychologists that, in general, we are usually most attracted to and compatible with those who are within +/-20 points of our own IQ. Since I haven't ever asked any of my friends to take IQ tests, I have no idea if this is true or not. | |
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ousu
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Joined: 6/2/2005
Msg: 102 | |
| Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 3/19/2006 3:57:13 AM |
I've been told by psychologists that, in general, we are usually most attracted to and compatible with those who are within +/-20 points of our own IQ.
DANG! I might want to buy some rope... | |
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ousu
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Joined: 6/2/2005
Msg: 104 | |
| Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 3/19/2006 4:51:48 AM | | Just remembered a research years ago - tested with rats... according the results the intelligence is mainly inherited from the mom, instincts from the daddy. So the ladies do not have to mind about the guy's IQ when dating a possible father-to-be. | |
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| Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 3/19/2006 7:20:58 AM | | IQ is only a measure of how fast someone can learn and understand something. To talk or meet me you would never guess mine is in the 140 range. Wanna date people with high IQ's go to some MENSA meetings. | |
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| Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 3/19/2006 7:47:38 AM | Hi there, I am attracted to intelligence however what I am not interested in is an elitist, someone who thinks they are better than others. I dated someone in the past who at first seemed compatible however I am funloving and articulate, she turned out to be somewhat snotty and disrespectful in the form of intelligence. I am not denying that she wasn't an intelligent smart person however the way she played it out and portrayed herself after time made it so that I was uncomfortable around her that my words were being assessed, etc.
I think it is nice to be with someone who is on your level, however I want to feel cozy and adored, not on edge with what political movments happened that day, even if I knew them inside out :)
Anyway :) Have a great day everyone. | |
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| Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 3/19/2006 8:27:11 AM | I took an on line IQ test awhile ago and scored 149  Not saying I'm dumb as a fence post but please!!!! If I were so bloody smart I would have figured out how to be retired by now and laying on a beach some where instead of living through another Canadian winter. If anyone cares to take it it's at i Village IQ Test. I think I am of average intelligance and way above average in the common sense dept. Way more appealing to me than book smarts. Oh ya my spelling is atrocious so if there are any mistakes Sorry!!! And that BBQ one very funny stuff. | |
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| Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 3/19/2006 8:29:57 AM | AlbertaGirlie I enjoyed your post where you listed the IQ categories, sadly I never managed to score above 141, so I remain trapped in the gifted category... plus I'm a lazy bum 
IQ doesn't do a world of good in isolation, the tests are usally timed measures of pattern recognition, some vocabulary, spacial/mathematical relationships, and general logic reasoning. You can have a high IQ and still scratch your head about the best way to tie your shoes, or not be able to change a tire...
That being said, IQ does come in handy if you have some common sense to boot, and some ambition to take it onwards.  That's why I've always been glad not to count myself among the "bookworms-only" club, I was given both artistic and scientific abilities, and now that I've worked on my fitness training as well I rate myself a well-balanced catch, and will shortly conquer the world... Mwa haha ha
Seriously though, I could not date a woman with a deficient intellect, there'd just be too great a disparity between us if I keep answering her before she's even finished her sentence... I had one ex-girlfriend that simply could not stand the fact that I beat her in everything, hence why I had to drop her... Fortunately most of my other past girlfriends have been supportive and never made it into a competition. So long as we're compatible and have mutual respect and affection, who cares who rates higher?  | |
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| Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 3/19/2006 8:43:44 AM | Ouch SMCW1961, you hurt my feelings... When I raise my army you will be the first example made in front of the people... 
Like I said, IQ without ambition is as useless as an artist without inspiration  | |
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| Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 3/19/2006 9:18:22 AM | Your right Tiger sorry, but I couldn't resist, time for bed. Please don't make an example of me I can't draw  | |
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| Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 3/19/2006 11:09:15 AM | Oooh, a cross-Alberta search for the elusive "brain man". Dunt dunt daaaaah. We could make up t-shirts and do a documentary. The narrative on the documentary could be in those hushed tones like the wildlife shows "The elusive brain man can be found in his native habitiat reading Descartes..."
I too am patient. I'll be the one lurking behind the bush with my binoculars. (On second thought, that may get me arrested).
Oh, and there are cool Canadian men. I even know some of the aforementioned elusive brain man. Thanks for expressing how cool we Canadian women are. Now I must go and plot my capture.
AlbertaGirlie you made me laugh so hard I spit coffee out of my nose!!!! Funny Girl!!! I just keep getting flashes of that crocodile hunter, knowing me when we went in for a capture I would get on his back and hold his mouth shut and yell "Crickey!" (sp) while you wrapped up the feet and arms.
What a great little mental image to start my day :o)
OE: And thank you to everyone who posted and gave some good information on why dating someone with a higher IQ could be consider a negative. Something I never thought about before but somethings I have been guilty of doing.
I like the idea of sticking within about 20 points of one another... and that being said, I don't ask a guy to take an IQ test, you just know these things.
I have been the 'dumb' one in the relationship before but he was a genuis, truly, but very very troubled.
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| Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 3/19/2006 8:10:34 PM | Of course it's true that IQ doesn't equal intelligence - and I agree with the points already made, that a good memory and articulate speech also play a part in what we consider to be intelligence...
I have to admit that I find intelligence exhilarating - I love to listen to someone whose mind is on a higher level than mine. It's exciting.
I once worked in a place where there were more intelligent people than I had encountered in my whole life - I can't say they necessarily got along with one another, or that they were necessarily fair to one another, but in some ways that was one of the best experiences of my life. They were also very funny. | |
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| Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 3/19/2006 9:02:49 PM | For me, as long as the intelligence or high IQ level belongs to someone who's ego does not reflect it... that someone is not overly critical or condescending ... does not dominate every conversation ... and can see FAR beyond their achievements on paper ... then it can be very attractive. No doubt, anyone who challenges my mind is someone I'd like to meet, even if it's not a date.
I agree with many great comments here... especially that > ... but I've seen/heard much worse.
I believe the key to that chemistry is : that both parties are able to communicate honestly, listen, relate, share enough common interests, be compatible in complementing each other's qualities, respect and treat each other as complete equals... never EVER expect ... ALWAYS appreciate each other with open hearts.
IQ stats are nice to have, but don't impress me in the least ... if someone has years of life experience... wisdom far beyond their age, they are JUST as, if not MORE intelligent than any number. There are plenty of bogus IQ tests out there specifically for bragging purposes and fake CVs.
It's like the "high-society" types who go to classical music concerts but would never be caught dead listening to any musical fusions that include classical orchestration ~ or fraternizing with the lower class ....
it's quite pathetic that people like this believe they are above others and it DOES apply to dating as well as every other aspect of their lives.
bottom line ... it's THEIR loss in every sense ... especially inspiration ... and there are many other losses they'll never even notice ... it's blindness with a high price. | |
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| Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 3/19/2006 9:05:23 PM | comments I agreed with above that didn't appear in my previous post because I put symbols instead of quotes around them ....
"those people are NOT perfect and that intelligence often results in a deficiency in some other area ~ most notably social skills"
.... and I HAVE seen much worse | |
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| Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 3/19/2006 10:31:15 PM | Glad you liked my post, Nymphre, but I'm serious.
Instead of shouting "Crickey" we could shout something highbrow like "Fait Accompli". My the way, binding the hands and feet so they can't escape is genius.
Oh yeah, I spit coffee out of my nose upon reading something hilarious as well. Is that a sign of a smart chick? I'll have to keep an eye out for that. I'll go to Chapters and check out the chicks drinking coffee and reading art history books. You won't be able to miss me, I'll be the one in the spectacles holding the notepad.
@TW....no problem for adding the categories, it's the educator in me. You are better off dating your equal (or as close to) as possible. Saves the grief for later (you know, when you find yourself staring at her in silence).
I'm always happy to find out through things posted that I do what the psychologists recommend, re: dating within 20 points. I'm now off to find the stated research. You know, the brainy nerd in me HAS to know. | |
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| Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 3/20/2006 1:01:29 AM | | If you think charm or personality or love will get you past an intelligence deficiency, go read the thread on "Did Man really go to the moon?" I'd lock Angelina Jolie out of the bedroom if she spouted some of the things people say on that one! You have to be able to carry on a conversation with your SO without explaining terms too often and without being intimidating or intimidated. I've spent half a life-time trying to dumb down to fit in and I've discovered that there are people you don't have to do that for. Its refreshing. | |
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| Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 3/20/2006 8:56:35 AM | ^^Still.. Not to worry. That's what she has Brad's Pitts for.
All things said, I agree with you however. LoL.
The only people I find that have an issue are those that are insecure about thier relative smarts. Seen to many relationships, not just my own, go off into the bickering wars of "I'm smart too!". For some, the tendency to equate IQ with an expectation of respect is overpowering. Even it's percieved inequalities can zero a relashionship faster than any real communication hurdles.
Personally I'll take a girl that has a grounded personality, and a good grasp of common sense. Then if they are smart to boot I'm an extra happy camper. | |
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| Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 3/20/2006 9:39:17 AM | Men don't like smart women,...that was taught to me way back when,...
and guess what,..it's still true,....I wish it weren't but it is,...
the only place they like someone who actually has a brain,....
is in a movie and then only if the other body parts are of equal or greater size,... | |
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| Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 3/20/2006 9:51:19 AM | Thanks for the props, Guenevere (assuming that was directed at me, LOL) I see a lot of ladies' profiles where they specify that they are seeking intelligence. I assume that that is a response to what they've found to be lacking in previous relationships.
Our society doesn't expect women to have valuable opinions. I've read studies about the eye contact and speaking time allowed and such in social gatherings and women are often just shut out of the conversations. When you have something intelligent to say and can't get a word in edge-wise, that must be very frustrating.
So searching for man who will respect that intelligence seems like a good approach. Presumably, that would be an intelligent man. Which is not to say that all intelligent men will respect that of their women but its a starting point. | |
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| Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 3/20/2006 10:56:19 AM | | personally, I have found compassion and empathy to be the most intelligent emotions we human posses,Number mean nothing in this realm. | |
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| Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 3/20/2006 1:01:54 PM | | ge&h, it appears that what you posted was an itemized list of all other comments by posters in italics, and then suggested that it was probably bragging with the accompanying info. that supposedly 80% of ppl. believe they have a higher than average IQ. appears to be negative and unnecessary mocking others on this thread in my ho; just an observation. | |
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| Dating Someone Wearing Hai Karate
Posted: 3/20/2006 2:54:58 PM | cabana boy,
I didn't want to lay it out too obviously, but I was just helping show how insecure some people were by (only) listing their high IQs and what a high opinion of themselves they had. This especially applies to the ones who wrote about their high IQ and then said that it's not important. Seems curious to list it then, doesn't it? Many of these people said nothing and were just bragging about their IQs under the guise of providing relevant information. Inadvertantly and ironically, they did provide information - they didn't sound very date-worthy. Probably not what they were going for.
But what do I know - I got owned by a dog when I was trying to put on my boots this morning. Here's some advice: don't pet a dog like crazy and get her all worked up, and then try to put your boots on unmolested.
Then again, that's just my opinion from the shallow end of the pool,
GE&H
PS - If I were to do it again, I'd leave off the last two as they don't fit with the rest. Sorry that yours was one of them. | |
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