| For Women Only ! Is there sex after hysterectomy ?
Posted: 3/26/2006 3:07:39 AM | This seems to me to be a more emotional issue than a physical issue.
you sound like you have lost something. Like you cannot get over the actual loss of female organs. you sound like you feel you are no longer a woman without those parts.
For some women, it is hard for them to come to terms of not having a uterous. and it seems like you are not concentrating on the positive aspects of having it removed.
1. you never have to worry about getting pregnant. (If you wanted children -adoption is always there and there are many young kids who need foster parents or older children who want a family. Now matter how a kid comes to you. Love is love. and everyone wants it.)
2. Physically you can now have sex 24/7. No more -My period is here.
3. You are experiecing medical menopause. By eating a higher vegatible diet and doing a regular 2 day weekly intestianal cleanse, you will find that within a few weeks your desire for will begin to return. Do not eat soy. As this slows down the thyroid and causes other menopause issues. It does not fix it. (I read the medical studies on this.)
If you are having vaginal dryness during sex- try a lubricant. sometimes that helps makes things a lot easier and can be inserted before you begin sex. or after oral sex. whichever.
Yoga is also very good for invigorating the sex drive and it does not casue pain. Do not do heavy arobic style. You can find the small yoga instruction books in any bookstore.
And a bonus thought here - YOU ARE THE MOST DESIRED TYPE OF WOMAN THAT MEN WANT TO BE WITH. YOU CANNOT GET PREGNANT AND SEX IS USUALLY FREER IN MIND BODY AND SPIRIT. GO FOR IT. | |
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| For Women Only ! Is there sex after hysterectomy ?
Posted: 3/27/2006 6:08:09 AM | | Totally agree with you on this esperanza....what a misinformed response. I guess he's just one of those guys you never want to date. Doesn't take the time. Fact is borb, sex after hysterectomy is fantastic, as long as your body is at it's right hormone levels. That means going to the doctor yearly and getting yourself checked. Woman still experience multiple orgasms after this surgery and enjoy a full sexual experience for many years afterwards. Like in any relationship, it takes a man that KNOWS what he's doing in that department with any type of woman....with or without their uterus. | |
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Cynnie
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Joined: 12/24/2005
Msg: 28 | |
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| For Women Only ! Is there sex after hysterectomy ?
Posted: 3/27/2006 9:16:30 AM | This is a different place for a man to be posting however, a sincere post is usually welcome(I hope).
For openers, borb is a complete fool.
Now on to the OP's subject.
I have a friend who is epileptic.
We went out on a date and hit it off really well.
We no longer date as, she moved to another state however, we are still friends and communicate.
The second time we went out, she attempted to tell me about her epilepsy.
She had trouble getting started and, I was able to relax her about it and she explained that she was afraid I'd reject her because of the epilepsy.
We had a good long talk about it and I let her know that it's just a disease of sorts and doesn't make her any less a person or any less a woman.
While this is an entirely different situation from yours, I believe that it's possible that you may also be feeling inadequate in some way and that that is contributing to your difficulties.
I don't know this for sure as, I'm not a shrink however, emotions have a very real effect on other aspects of our health.
Some of the others(women) suggested that you see a different ob/gyn.
That may be a good thing as, a different doc may be able to put you at ease head-wise about all this.
I don't know whether you have a guy in your life, friend or otherwise, who can allow you to feel as if you can really talk with him but, that may also help.
Even though we are different in gender, we ALL experience self-doubt at times and, many times just having someone we trust to talk with can do wonders.
Don't give up.
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| For Women Only ! Is there sex after hysterectomy ?
Posted: 3/31/2006 9:41:04 PM | | Find men that understand and willing to work it out. lol that's almost a joke, How many men do you know personally that want to deal with this problem, hell I don't even want to deal with it. | |
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| For Women Only ! Is there sex after hysterectomy ?
Posted: 4/1/2006 11:49:18 AM | This is more of an overall comment on the topic. It's been interesting reading all the takes on the subject. I had a VERY NECESSARY complete hysterectomy at the ripe old age of 30 - I'm now 48. My doctor and I had several very thorough conversations about it and I even spoke to another doctor about it. We all agreed that, if there was anyway to save the ovarys then they would. Unfortunately, that was not the case. Turns out there was so much scar tissue that it looked like someone had poured white elmer's glue all over everything. My ovarys were useless, my tubes were completely shut off and my uterous was in several stages of ill health. The loss of sex drive was slow and was complicated by other health issues that were revealed after the hysterectomy.
There came a time when I had no sex drive and it was so far gone that I didn't even miss it. My husband, at the time, grew weary of the changes my body was going through (loss of sex drive, weight increase, fatigue, etc. - some of which were NOT due to the hysterectomy). I believe that one can use the mind and imagination to help overcome issues, so, I figured, take the mind and the body will follow. It worked for me... in regard to bringing my sex drive back. It may have been too late for the marriage but not for me.
Presently, I am a very sexual woman. Unfortunately I have other issues that interfer with having a fulfilling sex life with a man. The biggest one is in finding a man who is not predjudiced by misconceptions of my current, chronic, condition. But that's another issue.
We are all different in the way our bodies react to whatever is going on at any given time. Some women my require HRTs, others may not; some may discover other conditions (such as what I learned). Frankly folks, one size does not fit all. And you do not necessarily need a man to have that warm fuzzy feeling of an orgasm. The good news is that we can still have them even being post-hysterectomy - partial or total.
I invite anyone to privately message me if they'd like to discuss this topic further on a more personal basis. | |
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| For Women Only ! Is there sex after hysterectomy ?
Posted: 4/3/2006 3:52:13 AM | Yet another guy posting his two cents worth, which you may take as sound advice or disregard as you choose ....
Police officers, Doctors and Lawyers have something in common: they are all human, have human failings and make mistakes! Sometimes, just finding another doctor (lawyer/police officer) can help to resolve your situation.
The following is a joke, purely fictional and of unknown origin, but which serves to illustrate the point while possibly putting a smile on your face:
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A man went to the doctor complaining of severe headaches. The doctor got him in for a full examination and, after a consultation with a few colleagues, declared "while I'm not sure of the cause of your headaches, tests show that they derive from pressure on the base of the spine. Our conclusion is that complete castration will alleviate the problem"
The guy left the office at a flat out run, but a few days later came back saying "I've talked it over with my wife, and I have two beautiful kids - lets just get this over with". Without further ado, the doctor wheeled him in and the deed was done. A few days later, the man went back for a checkup and the Doc said "Look, I understand that this is a major change for you, but I spoke to a psychologist colleague, and he suggested this: buy yourself a new suit of clothes - a new suit of clothes on the outside will make you feel like a new man on the inside". The doctor went on to recommend his own tailor of some 40 years.
The man went to visit the tailor and was greeted by a wizened old man who, upon hearing of the recommendation, began assessing his new customer: "You work in sales, so I'd recommend this material here for a positive influence - you need double breasted ..." . The tailor went on to size the man up literally, guessing his waist, chest, inside leg measurements correctly, not a tape measure in sight! The man was very impressed!
The tailor produced the resulting suit which the man tried on and found to be a perfect fit! The man asked about a shirt, and the tailor, after a moments scrutiny, selected one which again fit perfectly. The man followed up with socks - perfect fit, shoes - perfect fit! Then the man asked about underwear. The tailor eyed him and said you're a 36. the man replied that's the first time you've been wrong, I'm a 34!
The tailor eyed him again and said "no, you're a 36!". The man responded "No, I'm a 34 and have always worn a 34!" The tailor replied "Sir, you may think you're a 34, and I'll sell you a 34 if you insist, but I'll tell you what will happen if you wear them - they will press your balls up against the base of your spine and give you a splitting headache!"
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So you see, perhaps a second, or even third opinion really might be worth your while! | |
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| For Women Only ! Is there sex after hysterectomy ?
Posted: 4/3/2006 3:48:43 PM | LOL @ the joke and ouch!
I had a full hysterectomy at 41 - it never made me feel sex was over - and believe me it is not! LOL I was on HRT for awhile but no longer require it. I do believe though that if you believe something to be true - it will be - something along the lines of the self-fulfilling prophecy. Go see another doctor! Life has just begun anew for you.
Regarding men out there accepting the fact a woman has had one - I never found that to be a problem. We all experience life physically and mentaly - we all have scars - some inside and some outside - and most people will accept you as you are - the few that won't are not worthy of your consideration. You have to believe in yourself. Good Luck! | |
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| For Women Only ! Is there sex after hysterectomy ?
Posted: 4/4/2006 1:14:42 AM | As with MizDeezArtzee ... I also had a very necessary "complete hysterectomy" at the age of 36 ... I'm now 56 and I have never looked back, never felt better in my life, never had so much wonderful energy like I've had since the surgery, have been faithfully taking my HRT and no one is taking it away from me. I never had a problem with sex drive before the surgery and it's been fine ever since ... maybe even better.
I will not go into details will only say that I had a situation similar to MizDee and I am forever grateful that my doctor took the extra time to get all the scar tissue out ... mostly because scar tissue is "irregular" tissue and that is the kind of tissue that would normally be attacked by cancer faster ... more so than healthy tissue.
Some women feel incomplete after such major surgery ... there is no need for that. The uterus is there for one thing and one thing only ... baby carriage. When we're done having the babies ... we have no more need for the uterus.
The ovaries are a different story ... they produce the hormone that contributes to our sexual drive, but lucky us ... a lot of that is really in our head, so even without that hormone ... we will probably still be crazy about sex.
More importantly, the ovaries produce the hormones that cause our bodies not to eat up precious calcium in our bones at record rates (we all know what osteoporosis looks like) ... hormones that cause us to retain fatty tissue that keeps us from shriveling up into a bag of wrinkles ... the list could go on.
Those issues are important to self esteem and low self esteem contributes to loss of sexual drive.
All older women, whether post hysterectomy or not, need to be checked by a physician for hormone levels and bone density etc. so that they do not run the risk of developing other physical problems much worse than just losing the "baby carriage".
OT: There certainly is sex after a hysterectomy ... and it's great. If it isn't, then you need to see a doctor and don't stop looking until you find one who will help you ... in any way you need it.
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| For Women Only ! Is there sex after hysterectomy ?
Posted: 4/4/2006 3:16:12 PM |
i still can`t believe how many women still buy into this sh**!they are`nt just your reproductive organs,they are your sexual organs!!!!!WAKE THE F*** UP LADIES!!!!!!! if some doctor said he would remove my testicles in order to alleviate some inner disorder,i`d shove his fancy headset up his a**.i`m sure there has to be a better way,on this one,not being familiar with the plumbing,i have to turn it over to the gender!!!protect yourselves!!!!!!!
OMG do men like this really exist in this century. Go back up your mountain and stay there!! There are a lot of reasons to have a hysterectomiy and not one of them has anything to do with men!!!
OT: Yes there is life after a hysterectomy and with that life comes freedom!! | |
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| For Women Only ! Is there sex after hysterectomy ?
Posted: 4/4/2006 7:20:20 PM | I had a total hysterectomy at the age of 35. It gave me a new lease on life -- I felt 'reborn'.
I don't take HRT -- and do deal with flashes....I'm hoping they eventually decrease the way my mother's did.
Let's put it this way -- I have no regrets. | |
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| For Women Only ! Is there sex after hysterectomy ?
Posted: 4/22/2006 9:37:49 AM | Modzmolly....I have been in the same exact place that you are ! I had a total hysterectomy when I was 43 (kind of like being gutted...lol). I immediately went on Premarin; HRT in a pill form and was on that for 2 years. Something should have told me it wasn't working because I was madder than h*** most of the time and sweat ran off of me. Even in the winter, I was wearing shorts and leaving the windows cracked open in my house. I had NO sexual or romantic desire whatsoever. I started dating a man considerably older (and with ED) and he made the comment to me one time that I "need to see if your dr. can put your libido back in". Talk about pissed off ! So, I called my doctor and told her the issues. I went to her office, had the pap test and also had some blood work done. There's a special test that can be done just from drawing blood that will tell what your estrogen level is; in turn, it tells if the HRT is working. Well guess what.....all that time, I'm spending money on a prescription that was doing nothing! Basically, my body was chewing it up and spitting it out and getting none of the benefits of HRT! So, my doctor then put me on an HRT "patch". I change it twice a week. It's clear and about the size of a postage stamp. Goes right on your abdomen. OMG WHAT A DIFFERENCE !! I have no more flashes, no more mood swings/irritability, and the libido is back ! (Of course, I'm not seeing that man anymore....lol) Now all I need is a willing victim...lol.
Modzmolly...ask your doctor about the patch. Seriously, you have nothing to lose by trying it and for peace of mind and a better overall feeling, it's such a relief. Trust me when I tell you that no one can understand what you're feeling unless they've been there; I have and I wouldn't have gone through those miserable 2 years if I had known about the patch beforehand.
For the person that mentioned " a bigger playground with no equipment"....my playground has no equipment but the playground is not "larger" or looser....lol
Good luck ! | |
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| For Women Only ! Is there sex after hysterectomy ?
Posted: 4/22/2006 10:13:36 AM | I had a total hysterectomy at age 33. I have to say things really improved sexually after my hysterectomy. There was no more worry of pregnancy, the monthly visitor, etc. It was a whole new world of fun whenever my husband and I wanted it.
Now, that I am widowed it is nice to know that when the right person comes along we will not have any worries. As far as the equipment being loose - not hardly!! (whoever made that statement needs to read up on things - totally not true!).
In my case I think having a hystie made me less inhibited  and more emotionally and mentally able to enjoy those intimate times. | |
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anni
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Joined: 3/10/2006
Msg: 40 | |
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| For Women Only ! Is there sex after hysterectomy ?
Posted: 5/7/2006 8:02:43 PM | | I had a hyst in 1993. I have never taken HRT. . . didn't tolerate it. I have no problem whatsoever. . .in fact it's as good as it once was. . . how does that song go?? Anyway, to me sex is still good 13 years after:) | |
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| For Women Only ! Is there sex after hysterectomy ?
Posted: 5/7/2006 8:36:08 PM | I have to respond to this.!!Are all you women out there ignorant to the fact that HRT increases your chances of breast cancer by 50%!!!! And alot of women get splitting headaches and migranes from it...I am post menopausal...(at 44 naturally.. no hysterectomy) and am not on Hrt.... I would rather have a little osteoporosis...and a few hot flashes than breast cancer! If your mother or a female relative has had breast cancer YOU should not be taking HRT...I can't believe your doctors have not told you this! By the way.my sex drive has increased.and dryness is definately not an issue.
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| For Women Only ! Is there sex after hysterectomy ?
Posted: 5/8/2006 2:06:48 AM | ^^^ To each his (her) own. No one is taking my HRT away from me. I'll deal with whatever comes along R/T it! I am a nurse and have spoken with every single doctor I work with about HRT ... all have said that no study or report has indicated that I need to go without it because of the "breast cancer" issue.
I do not have my ovaries ... I need my HRT and although my mother had ovarian cancer ... I will not be giving my HRT up.
After 9/11, they started putting out all kinds of "red" alerts, "orange" alerts and whatevers ... the bottom line is ... it's all a bunch of hype.
If you have a female relative who has had breast cancer ... then get your check ups, be conscientious about it ... but unless you have had the genetic test that definitely says you will get breast cancer ... there is no reason to stop your HRT.
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| For Women Only ! Is there sex after hysterectomy ?
Posted: 5/8/2006 9:15:49 AM | | I am checked regularly by my doctor, have regular mammograms, etc. I most definitely am not ignorant. But the whole hormonal thing is just as much mental and emotional as it is physical and my mental health is important to me too. I am not as fortunant as some women who can breeze thru menopause with no hot flashes, mood swings, etc. I experience more than a few hot flashes; for me, it was constant and horrible to the point that my clothes were soaked, my make up wouldn't even stay on my face long enough to get to work and I was emotionally a wreck. Please excuse me if I sound a little defensive about it, but menopause affects all women differently and we have to cope the best way we can. | |
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| For Women Only ! Is there sex after hysterectomy ?
Posted: 5/8/2006 12:04:08 PM | | I have alot of hot flashes. wet clothes...no makeup I know where you are coming from.I did not say anyone was ignorant... but ignorant TO THE FACT and yes there are tons of studies that proove this.Like I said.I would still rather have the hot flashes and osteoporosis than breast cancer.(the hot flashes are not going to last forever..and if you keep doing wt. bearing exercises and cardio..you can slow down the progression of the osteo) if your doctors are telling you otherwise they need to be informed too.you know not all doctors are God.(or good)that's why they call it PRACTICING medicine once you are a dr and practicing in any particular feild.. there are very few who will keep up with recent developements in other areas other than their own(some don't even keep up with their own) but... bottom line... you are going to believe what you want to | |
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| For Women Only ! Is there sex after hysterectomy ?
Posted: 5/17/2006 9:46:02 PM | | Im glad to see some positive stuff about this subject. Im due the end of may they are telling me to have it or else I could develop cancer down the road damn Im scared but I want to stick around for a while....any words of encouragement or advice will really be appreciated. Thanks all | |
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| For Women Only ! Is there sex after hysterectomy ?
Posted: 5/18/2006 1:27:37 AM | @Fluffy ...
damn Im scared but I want to stick around for a while....any words of encouragement or advice will really be appreciated. Thanks all Feel free to email me about this ... had it done over 20 years ago for similar reasons and excessive bleeding. After full recovery, I couldn't feel or look better! I'm 57 years old and most people do not believe me when I tell them how old I am.
I don't think it has so much to do with my looks as it does that I have a wonderful energy level and feel young and probably exude that kind of aura. Good luck with your upcoming surgery ... again, feel free to email me.
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| For Women Only ! Is there sex after hysterectomy ?
Posted: 5/18/2006 8:05:32 AM | For the misinformed men out there who have written on this thread - your sexual organs if you are a female are your ovaries. Your uterus has nothing to do with your sexuality - it is merely the means for the female body to carry and nourish the baby, nothing more. Most of today's doctors try not to remove the ovaries, as these are glands. They create the estrogen in the women.
Okay enough with the science class for today. But to the jerk who compared a womb to his testicles - he better go back to 6th grade science class, he obviously was not paying attention. | |
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| For Women Only ! Is there sex after hysterectomy ?
Posted: 5/19/2006 4:56:57 AM | | Yes, I agree totally! Sex is better after having my hysterectomy, that is when I get the chance to have it....lol!!!! So much pain with the periods and now the passion has returned. My hysterectomy was the best thing that ever had to happen to me. | |
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