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| Is it possible to fall in love with someone you never met?
Posted: 6/19/2007 2:38:37 AM | lust and love feel very similiar to start with but were lust fissals out love keeps growing and developing to make a relationship work. that love can be the love we have for our parents, children family or friends. The only difference between these love and the love you have for a partner is the sexual chemistry which is why this is the only love that we get confused with.
You can lust someone to bits that it hurts but this still doesnt mean true love.
true love is when you have grown so close to someone both their inner self and there outer self that you continue to be with each other when you are apart in both body and spirit. | |
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| Is it possible to fall in love with someone you never met?
Posted: 6/19/2007 4:00:59 AM | My personal take on it is both yes.. and no. Since OP has closed her account, I'll just rattle on here a bit..
'Love' has several aspects.. (BTW, the English language is not very good. If Eskimos have something like
50 words for 'snow'.. you'd think anglophones would have a few more for 'love'.. ah well..)
OP describes her mainly physical longings.. presumably coming after a number of e-mails and phone calls..
That's lust, I would say.. Lust is not a bad thing.. and yes, I can see lusting after someone - if you have
established a deep relationship, and have a pic to focus on..
The 'deep relationship' would be the result of a process of initial attraction.. leading to exchanges of e-mails
and phone calls. It's where you find out the basic outlook of the other.. and start revealing yourself..
each small vulnerability shown and each silly hope expressed being a small act of trust..
That 'deep relationship' can, I think, be established prior to a physical meeting.
All it takes is courage, honesty and faith that the other is trying just as hard as you...
Piece of cake...:-)
Love..? IMHO, love is not something you actually get in the first six months of a living-together
relationship.. 'true love' or 'mature love' is based on going thru things together. Think of movies.. the basic
plot is two people are attracted to each other for whatever reason.. but their actual 'love' does not become
sealed until they face some sort of trial together.. You do not learn that your mate loves you until
they demonstrate they care more about you than themself..
I am minded of the scene in The Scorpion King.. the one where both guys are hanging on.. and the
women must choose to save themselves - or risk death saving their mate.. No.. most of use will not have
to go quite that far.. the story The Gift of the Maji is about the same thing..
But consider, ladies : you are driving home in the pouring rain and the car konks out..
you call your partner.. who is watching the Super Bowl
(let's assume he loooves football. Hell.. let's even say he has *money* on the game..! :-)
Which response do you want when you call..?
a. I'm on my way.. stay where you are.. Don't go back to the car...
b *any* other response
Guys.. you have a cold.. a miserable body-ache cold.
You ask the SO to go to the drugstore for some meds before she goes to the airport to
pick up her Mother..
Which is better...?
a. She's gone two hours and comes back without the meds. She does tell you all about the
problems her friend is having .. her husband having left her recently.. for no reason..
b. She's back in five minutes with meds.. your favorite author's new book..
She is now in the kitchen making [insert your favorite food here]
Only when that's done does she go to the airport to pick up her Mother..:-) | |
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| Is it possible to fall in love with someone you never met?
Posted: 6/19/2007 8:41:09 AM | Apache (Arizona USA).......... Ha'oh
Armenian (Armenia, Russia, )...... Ayo
Balinese (Bali)..... Nggih
Cantonese [Chinese](China)..... Hai
Corsican (Corsica)..... Si
English (Britain, Australia, America)...... Yes
English (America) [informal]..... Yeah
English (United States) [informal]..... Yup
English [Strine dialect] (Australia) ..... Air
English [Texan] (Texas United States)..... Ya
NO MATTER HOW YOU SAY IT OR WHERE YOUR FROM ...YES IT CAN HAPPEN | |
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| Is it possible to fall in love with someone you never met?
Posted: 6/19/2007 3:30:15 PM | | i belive u can fall for someone u never ment, i did but mine turned out different he told me stuff and then i didnt hear from him when i did he said he went back to his ex the one who did him wrong from the start, dont get to close which it sounds like u have, make sure that this person really feels the same way, but i belive love can happen no matter how it happens, good luck | |
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| Is it possible to fall in love with someone you never met?
Posted: 6/19/2007 6:58:22 PM | This thread is gettin' funnier and funnier, lol! So now we can fall in LUST but not love, on the internets?
All those threads about chemistry, with everyone insisting you have to look at someone's skin before you can tell, but LUST you can get from a monitor?
I'll just reiterate: I've done it, and it lasted until he died. And I was there, in person, (we'd been living together for a year and a half) when that happened.
So, if you think it won't/can't happen, then it won't: *for you* -- but ya'll can stop trying to convince those of us who know better.
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| Is it possible to fall in love with someone you never met?
Posted: 6/19/2007 7:05:22 PM |
So, if you think it won't/can't happen, then it won't: *for you* -- but ya'll can stop trying to convince those of us who know better.
Wow ~ good point above. The old bait and switch. I hadn't thought of the lust thing until you mentioned that ~ HA....we are a fickle group. 
And I have to agree with your quoted post here ~ I was a non-believer...amazing what a faith/hope/open-mindedness can do for someone. You just might love and be loved in return ~ what a concept. Kudos to you for believing all along.  | |
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| Is it possible to fall in love with someone you never met?
Posted: 6/19/2007 9:22:02 PM | | I think you can love the parts of them that you have experienced without meeting them. But there is something said about a picture is worth a thousand words. I think you need to know if you feel the same comfort after meeting them. Physical attraction and chemistry is an important part of the overall picture! | |
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| Is it possible to fall in love with someone you never met?
Posted: 7/27/2007 8:53:44 PM | Why did your relationship fail, was one or both of you not willing to work at it. I met a man who I had e-mailed and talked with for a few months. He was calling me a few times a day, and I would call him.
He came to visit and we had a lovely time together, and he was planning on coming to see me again, and then decided not to. He said that it wasnt fair, I guess he wanted me right there, and we were 9hrs apart. I was more than willing to drive out and spend time with him, and see if that drew us closer together. He thought it would not be fair for me to move myself there if things did not work out.
Isnt that the chance we take, and if we dont take that chance then we will never knowand may have lost a great someone.
I am sad..........that he gave up, but I have honored his wishes. He still wanted to talk with me, but it would have been difficult for me to hear his voice and know that we would never see each other again.
I think we need to take that chance, put forth the effort because that person could be the one........and they are not always just around the corner.
I wish you luck with the next time............... | |
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| Is it possible to fall in love with someone you never met?
Posted: 7/29/2007 10:13:27 PM | | course its possible...online..theres no outside distractions..its just u and that person...and most importantly...UR COMMUNICATIN...which is something that is a lil hard to do sumtimes in the outside world. on lets say yahoo messenger, u talk and nuthin more...its what u feel..and what they feel....how often can u really sit with a person and for hrs at a time, do nuthin but talk? if ur on a date...ur watchin a movie, maybe eatin dinner, sittin at a bar if thats ur thing, surrounded by other ppl...on chat its just the two of u. i personally think online ur more able to get closer to sumone faster than in person. besides, theres the whole romance factor involved....the more and longer u talk...the more u long for that first meetin...wonder how its goin to go...what ull say..what ull do...that person is no longer so easy to be taken for granted. so in my opinion...yea...u can fall in love with sumone uve never met b4...happens all the time. | |
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| Is it possible to fall in love with someone you never met?
Posted: 7/29/2007 11:54:05 PM | Quote from Shertenn:
The 'deep relationship' would be the result of a process of initial attraction.. leading to exchanges of e-mails and phone calls. It's where you find out the basic outlook of the other.. and start revealing yourself.. each small vulnerability shown and each silly hope expressed being a small act of trust.. That 'deep relationship' can, I think, be established prior to a physical meeting. All it takes is courage, honesty and faith that the other is trying just as hard as you...
Ofcourse you can fall in love with someone you have not met. Its' not the question of why it happens...just that it does happen! | |
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| Is it possible to fall in love with someone you never met?
Posted: 7/30/2007 12:06:01 AM | | Wish you luck also - but agree that fantasy is much more powerful than reality. Can it pass the test of a reality check? Would be nice to have both - realistic (which includes financial, housework, boredom, kids, work, time) and still be able to turn on that fantasy romance when you have the chance. | |
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| Is it possible to fall in love with someone you never met?
Posted: 8/3/2007 11:11:14 PM |
Why did your relationship fail, was one or both of you not willing to work at it.
rusticeyes,
we tried over and over until this last April, two years of fighting to be together and it just never panning out. It wasn't for lack of love, or effort, sometimes things just aren't meant to be and there is nothing that we can do about it. I miss him all the time and I know he feels the same but we have a strange relationship that will just never really work because of our different lifestyles. I'm an accounting mom, he's a rock star single...not the meshing kind of lifestyles for average folk like me. | |
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| Is it possible to fall in love with someone you never met?
Posted: 8/4/2007 5:15:48 AM | Nope.How can you? lol.thats crazyness. Thats all about daydreaming,in my opinion,you paint a mental picture and get carried away by the whole thing.You dont know if they are who they say they are etc.You might meet in person and have no chemistry at all,and realise you got carried away.
Hearing someones faults on paper,or on the phone,is a different ball game to being with them in person and wittnessing it,you have to meet a person,get to know them face to face,see their mannerisms and reactions.etc
Easy to paint a picture for someone,but untill you meet face to face,you wont know.
Till then,imo,its just a fantasy you are building up in your head,words are all well and good,but actions speak far loulder.
So thatd bea defineate NO from me,lol. | |
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| Is it possible to fall in love with someone you never met?
Posted: 8/4/2007 5:41:46 AM | | Mannerisms are very important and the way a person carries him or herself. This can never be assessed prior to physically meeting them. Internet romance chatting is comparable to a good book of romance. After reading the book the daydreaming begins and in the playground of the mind it's all about "How it could be" when, in fact, it's not the way it is at all. Meeting is person sets the foundation for reality. At that point a persons physical aspects can be assessed in combination with intellect and emotion. I personally think to create a romantic scene in the playground of your mind prior to meeting only sets yourself up for a possible emotional letdown. To each his own but 'falling in love' with someone means falling in love with that 'whole' person and until two people meet and spend time together they can never experience each other as a 'whole'. Stick to light chatting with good boundaries and exciting anticipation of a first date, then allow your mind to run rampant after meeting them....do yourself a favor. | |
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| Is it possible to fall in love with someone you never met?
Posted: 8/4/2007 5:47:37 AM | I know how u feel as this has happened to me i thought i was falling in love with a guy we had been talking to each other for about 3 years... we got on really well and then we met and i moved down to england to be with him and i was living with his family and him,but after 9 months it went wrong and i returned to Scotland,,so yes you can have feelings for someone you havent met but when you do meet just take things slow as people can make out they are something that they arent..
Good Luck
Claire x | |
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| Is it possible to fall in love with someone you never met?
Posted: 8/4/2007 7:27:42 AM | Well, consider this..blind people "fall in love" all the time, I would think. Just like anyone else, but without the benefit of "visual attraction". Without being able to "read" body language". Without being able to see another's actual reactions to something they may be saying or doing".
I would say it's possible.
For those of us that are not blind, however....I say "falling in love with someone you've never met's " probably a recipe for disappointment., unless there are concrete plans to meet, that is. Even then, the reality of who the other person actually IS may be WORLDS different from who they seem to be online.
Kinda simple, really.
At least in my view. | |
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| Is it possible to fall in love with someone you never met?
Posted: 8/22/2007 9:26:11 AM | | How can you want to kiss sombody you havn't met? Until you meet in real life Im afraid to say that it is in my opinion a 'fantasy Love', hey still a love but not something 100% real. Isnt it pheramones which determine if we are psysically attracted to sombody too? You could meet him and be totally turned off by his scent (unconscious to us I believe). What is love though? I mean have any of you tried to find a definition of it? The argument here is really about what love is and not whether you can fall in love with sombody you havnt met surely? | |
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| Is it possible to fall in love with someone you never met?
Posted: 9/3/2007 4:51:53 PM | Granted . . Profiles AND Photos can be Totally Fake . .
But . . I'll take that Chance . .
I've been struck by -Love-at-First-Sight- before . . and have seen Many Ladies here that I would J U M P at the chance to get into a Relationship with . . !!!
It'd be Refreshing, though , if just Occasionally . . one would take the Initiative to contact Me, first . . and compliment me on _something_ I've written . . !!! . .  | |
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