| It's getting harder
Posted: 3/22/2006 7:41:30 PM | Scorp,
Thank you, confidence is something I know women find attractive. I have not been in the dating scene since my early 20's. I find it more difficult today because I've been out of the loop (sorta speak). Will try and work on that.. | |
|
| |
| |
| It's getting harder
Posted: 3/22/2006 8:46:20 PM | OK Atoneman (by the way, that sounds ominous - are you atoning for something?), I have a couple of comments:
First, your profile. I like your other pictures (in which you're smiling) better than your "main" picture.
Secondly, I have to echo a comment made by a young man in some other thread. When you're feeling like there's no one out there for you, it's time to do something exciting that has nothing to do with finding a woman. Live a little! Take a trip, do something you've never done before (skydiving? bungee jumping?), take a course, take up something you've always wanted to do - put yourself in a different groove.
Good luck! | |
|
| It's getting harder
Posted: 3/22/2006 9:26:14 PM | First let me suggest removing the check from the box where you're using the photo with the cap as your main photo online. Every other photo you have is better then this one - and you are a right nice looking young man.
Second, get a little more confidence when you approach a female and just behave as a kind and respectable gentleman. You can meet single women at the main city library. Or go to a club that has early evening dance lessons and try that. It's a good way to meet single women. Women are told also that a club is a bad way to meet a man. Don't worry about it. You can meet anyone good anywhere. Many churches now have singles gatherings also. Just be friendly and apprach a woman with some semblance of decency. You'll be fine. | |
|
| It's getting harder
Posted: 3/23/2006 6:27:31 AM | | Took the advice and changed the pics around. I feel I might be a little on the shy side, but I open up very quikly. I know women like men who are confident. It's the approach, once the ice is broken, I'm cool and can hold a great conversation... | |
|
| It's getting harder
Posted: 3/23/2006 6:39:51 AM | First of all let me say, that you are very attractive & I can't believe your still single. However, you are too young for me & live too far away (:................A beautiful, genuine smile goes a long way & sometimes slamming into someones grocery cart or knocking something off the shelf at the store in front of them works too............I meet lots of nice people at the gym, its a great place to strike up a conversation. Also, if you have kids, take them to activites where there are other single parents, its very easy to chat up a storm with people about common interests. Many wonderful people go to church and have great social activities, if you are into that..........let me tell you just cause they go to church, doesn't mean they are dead beats. Some of my most fun friends who are very upbeat, love life and are single go to church. I actually knew someone who started her own "singles club" b/c she couldn't meet anyone worthwhile & about 40 joined and met wonderful partners & they still get together for bbqs, etc..............So there's all kinds of ways to meet people, you just have to be creative and combine your lifestyle with meeting people.
Good Luck & don't be in a hurry........you'll meet your princess!  | |
|
| It's getting harder
Posted: 3/23/2006 7:18:55 AM | Lady,
Thank you for the compliment. I go to Church, but not to find women, for spiritual growth. However, it does not mean my eyes are shut. I would hate to go and ask a woman out, if that did not work, see someone else, and before you now it, there are rumors that your intentions are not there to serve God..
The Church has a softball league, I'm thinking about joining. They also have a singles night, and of course it's on the night I work late. They also have a guitar ministry, I been playing 17yrs, thinking about that also; It's a huge Church (Calvary of Albuquerque). I actually see I have many choices, I guess it's just getting out there and playing the field. Thanks again.. My ex still can't believe I'm single either, we're still friends, we have a child together. So, I do have a daughter and I don't know any single parent places to go, any ideas?
-Atone | |
|
| It's getting harder
Posted: 3/23/2006 9:32:55 AM | Hey..just try to join a club..i see you go to the gym...perhaps you can find one there? How about if you like to bowl or..play darts...i know it sounds kinda lame but who knows you may have some fun...I had the most luck in meeting new people through my friends... after my split I began to call people who I havent seen in years and..wow I am impressed, because I thought I would have trouble meeting people but so far ..so good. I however have not met Mr Right yet but..I am in no big hurry for anything serious.
Just a suggestion... | |
|
| It's getting harder
Posted: 3/23/2006 6:43:23 PM | | Once again some great advice, this is why I wanted the ladies to respond, you speak from the heart... Bowling can be fun, darts (good at it) get's boring quick though hehe... | |
|
| It's getting harder
Posted: 3/23/2006 6:51:52 PM | | I understand the ops problems. Online dating seems to revolve around looking like a model or forget it for the most part. Unlike in real life where people actually are willing to find out if a person has a personality. lol but online is just too much fun and you never know what might happen. | |
|
| It's getting harder
Posted: 3/23/2006 7:01:01 PM | it might help to start enjoying yourself more and wonder less about being single? You are only 32, wait till you get OLD! Then look back at your words about not getting any younger!!!
on a serious note, the puppy IS a very good idea! Depending on how old your daughter is, she can be a great asset to you. Take her to the zoo, the park, anyplace single mothers might take THEIR kids, or someone else's kids! Forget the grocery store, I'm not the only one who threw an egg at someone for that trick. Another secret is in your guitar. Pick a nice sunny day, and take it to the park. Find a nice grassy area, sit down and start playing. If you know for a fact you can sing, okay, I'm NOT gonna try to spell that word, go to a bar and sing, but only if you really can. Try a comedy club. | |
|
| It's getting harder
Posted: 3/23/2006 8:05:23 PM | | Thanks, wow a puppy huh? I get many responses when I play my accoustic, but it's at home. Never thought about playing at a park... Thanks | |
|
| It's getting harder
Posted: 3/23/2006 8:24:19 PM | | hi hot stuff...well if your single its not because you lack in the looks dept or sincerity in your words..and 32 is difinately not old dude!!...cripes im 39 and still feel 22...Its all about attitude and how you feel about yourself...people have given you some great advice...about the groc store im with you on that...im out asap too...and honestly i never think when im there if there are any single guys around ...im too dam busy looking for something to make for dinner as im usually starving when i shop...men is the last thing on my mind...but from one gurls point of view i just feel that being single isnt a bad thing,..but if you do see a cutie the next time your out shopping or where ever...approach her and say" hi "....after all whats the worst thing she can say?...That shes not intrested?..chances are she will be flattered as men are more and more withdrawn that way today...so by standing out from the rest,..it will make her notice you and that great smile of yours..good luck..yvonne | |
|
| It's getting harder
Posted: 3/24/2006 1:49:05 AM | | I know I'm a man, but I will try not to be too macho, lol. You have a child? My ex had a kid, and I swear, picking him up from school was a gold mine of women, and children's activities would be a good ice-breaker. Plus I see you like boxing, I recently tried kickboxing, and its like 80% women. Of course, I got lazy, but whatever, if you can do it, good for you. I mean, I am no Casanova either, these are just things I've noticed. | |
|
| It's getting harder
Posted: 3/24/2006 6:24:18 AM | Earth Bound, wow if anyone is hott stuff it's you. Thank you for responding with good advice, I just hate being turned down. Women seem to think if a man say's "hi" they are trying to get down their pants..True on some level, but hanging out first and just see where things may lead. We'll see, I got invited to a party this weekend, I decided to go, so we'll see. Thanks again sweetie..
-Atone | |
|
| It's getting harder
Posted: 3/24/2006 6:32:05 AM | drrill, what's up bro, I love boxing, been doing it for a few years now. In this area it's like 40% women. I don't wanna date a boxer, she'll kick my a$$.. JK.... On a serious note, that was good advice. I usally take my daughter to a park, zoo, movie etc. I never run into women, they are with people (men). I have alot of respect for women, if they are with men, I don't look; If they are alone but they have a wedding band on, I don't look. Thanks for posting..
-Atone | |
|
| It's getting harder
Posted: 3/24/2006 7:06:28 AM | I had to first read your bio to get some insight to the man..........right off the bat if I were 20 yrs younger I would'nt hesitate answering a reply from you.....hope that helps your self esteem. It's a frustrating world in general......I have to ask you "who are you approaching on line?".....are you reading they're bio or going by they're appearance?What do you find attractive in a female?
So by not getting any responses "how are you responding in the first place" are you polite, do you say "hello" in an opening statement etc etc etc.......
It could be your overall approach that is not getting the response back.......even when you are in public i.e asking a woman for help in the grocery store, if you approach her wrong she's not likely to get into a conversation and may not even offer asstistance.
There are lots of ways to start up a conversation...i.e. "Do you know whats the best way to tell if Tomatoes are too ripe" etc etc then get into a conversation like " I never realized grocery shopping was so involved, until i had to start doing it for myself" that way your letting her know your single or unattached with out being to pushy ......if she re-acts go from there...."How often do you shop, every week , bi/weekly?". "Whens the best day to shop to avoid the crowds?".......end the converstion with "Thanks for all your help, maybe we can grab a coffee sometime...etc etc
Good luck......take care | |
|
| It's getting harder
Posted: 3/24/2006 7:17:23 AM | Okay here is one email I sent, they are pretty much the same way, with maybe a few added words. Here is one of my emails. Username will be deleted for her security.. PLEASE GO EZ ON ME
Hello *******,
I just wanted to comment on your profile. I think it's great, and your a very beautiful woman. I see we have a lot of the same interest. I would like to get to know more about you. If you wanna take a peek at my profile and see if there could be a possible connection on some level, I would love to hear from you.. Atone
Is there a better way to approach women on here? Any helpful hints would be great...
It's hard to say what I find attractive, great features I guess. I also shoot straight to the top of the ladies I find attractive when I email.
| |
|
| It's getting harder
Posted: 3/24/2006 7:23:27 AM |
Thank you all for the encouraging words. I just can't seem to meet anyone, and it's annoying, because I'm not getting any younger..
Hey ATONEMAN you are only 32 for crying out loud...geez I am 37 and single for years, does that make me not getting any younger? Don't make it sound like time is runing out, cuz it is not
I have many hobbies and interest and joining a club for these might be hard, but worth it. I hate being alone, it sucks..
Hey life is what you make it. You are single, enjoy your life, have fun doing the things you enjoy be it you do them alone. Lots of single people do many things on thier own. I do all the time, it is hard at first but once you do it, you will see it is not all that bad.
Go on a vacation alone somewhere that you will enjoy. I may go with people but most times when I do, I am off doing my own thing.
I have alot of "bad luck" and sure it can get you down, but trust me it does nothing for you. I let it bother me, like so many other guys, that women always rejected me, that I may not look thier type, we may not click etc. But you know what? I know for sure many times i blew it with my attitude. Live and learn from your mistakes.
You know I am going to Vegas in May, I am going with a buddy of mine BUT I will be checking out the sights, and then attend some shows, then check out the nightlife because I know it will be a blast, all tourists from different places. I will do all that on my own. I am really looking forward to it.
So what you do is if there is something you enjoy doing...then do it regardless no one wants to do it with you. And once you do that, I bet you will think "Wow it was not that hard at all" and then you will start to have a better look at things in dating.
Good luck and listen to people's advice here and there, I have over the past year from friends and co-workers and i feel 110% better about myself than I did a year ago.
Have fun is what it is all about bud... | |
|
| It's getting harder
Posted: 3/24/2006 7:37:01 AM | Rabid, thanks for posting your thoughts, it was meaningful. I have friends who like being single, no one to answer too, no one to control your day etc. But, in all honesty I miss that stuff. Is not life about finding happiness? Sure I can be happy single, who can't? But, it's not the happiness I want. I want companionship, someone to cudde, someone to kiss in the morning, and someone to say goodnight too. I do many things also alone, that's the problem, I have a void in my life that I want to fulfill..
-Atone | |
|
| It's getting harder
Posted: 3/24/2006 9:40:00 AM | | I've been single since 1994. Believe me, you do not need someone if you can feel good about yourself. It is when you do not feel good about yourself that there is a problem. If you can't feel good about yourself, how the hell are you gonna make others happy? | |
|
| It's getting harder
Posted: 3/24/2006 9:48:36 AM | | I feel awesome, going to school, have a great job etc. But, feeling good about myself, sure is not lining the ladies up at the door. | |
|
| It's getting harder
Posted: 3/24/2006 9:55:46 AM | Hey OP, here are my thoughts....
I agree with scorpitarious.... confidence is key if you want to meet girls in your daily travels. I'm very confident in myself, but I don't feel I have the "ability" to just go up to someone I don't know. I'm trying to work on that myself. (Damn my long-term relationships!)
I too think I'm a reasonably good looking guy, and I know that I have tons to offer the right girl. Think of POF as another venue.... it's just a way to initially meet people. Don't get offended by people who don't respond. It is a fact of life on a site like this. People don't consider the fact that not responding at all is a bit of an ego hit for the writer. Maybe not initially, but a lot of non-replies gets a little frustrating. Trust me... my "batting average" isn't nearly as high as I think it should be, based on my qualities.
Good luck! | |
|
| It's getting harder
Posted: 3/24/2006 10:15:55 AM | | Thanks Sceptik, good luck to you as well my friend.. | |
|
Home
login 
