| It's getting harder
Posted: 3/24/2006 11:38:33 AM |
I have a void in my life that I want to fulfill
This is the total wrong statement to use. You will not be happy when you date someone having that thought in your head. She is only filling a void..and what is that void? A void is caused from lack of interests and doing things you find enjoyable.
Do you want someone just so you have someone? Or do you want someone that you can enjoy the things she likes to do and you like to do? Totally different there. I know so many people who feel "lonely" so they need to be with someone as it fills a void in thier life. I hardly see people happy in this case.
We all go through it one time or another with low confidence, low self esteem. But it takes time to get it back, and it comes back by being happy with yourself and realizing as well that you do not NEED someone that you would like someone to enjoy life with.
hey i do almost all the things i like on my own. Was hard to do at first but over the past 5 years I have grown to enjoy doing those things no matter if it is just me or 10 people.
Chin up and smile, and just be happy with your life the way it is going. | |
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| It's getting harder
Posted: 3/24/2006 11:47:23 AM | Dude, I been doing this for years now.....I really don't have much faith on this online dating thing, but we have to try something. I did the church dating single thing , I did the grocery thing, I did the dating a co-worker thing, I did the friend lineing me up thing...I ran out of options. Friends tell me it will happen when you least expect it....Well I heard that for a long time now.... We are in the same boat.
William | |
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| It's getting harder
Posted: 3/24/2006 12:04:00 PM | | Rabid, I looking to find a woman, to share my goals, my ambitions and my dreams with. I'm sorry if "void" was the wrong word to use about how I feel that something is missing in my life. I'm here to make friends in hopes that it will blossom into something more special. The word "void" seemed appropriate under the current conditions I feel in my heart. Nothing intended by it, but an expression. | |
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| It's getting harder
Posted: 3/24/2006 12:06:26 PM | William,
I'm sorry your in the same boat. Maybe we should tip it over and swim a shore.. Good luck man, hope you find your happiness.. | |
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| It's getting harder
Posted: 3/24/2006 12:10:29 PM | My advice. If you are just looking for someone in your area to do activities with (for now), say so up front. I've discovered that any time I reply to an email it's construed as interest for dating/more. It's easier not to answer at all than have to say, "Sorry, I'm only looking for someone to hang out with and do stuff with so I don't have to go it alone." It's always easier to find someone if there's no pressure to start off. If you meet someone and neither one has expectations that "this could be the one," you are more free to be yourself and really shine.
Isn't that how people used to date? You'd be around someone for a while and one day say, "hey, I really like this person. I'd like it to be more." Online you have to say "yes" or "no" up front before ever getting to know what that person is like. | |
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| It's getting harder
Posted: 3/24/2006 12:11:51 PM | Bah... what a misleading thread title. I thought this was going to be a discussion about Viagra.
BB | |
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| It's getting harder
Posted: 3/24/2006 12:16:12 PM | ^^Got any extra blue pills???
OP- Don't get all down because you are single...believe me women can sense that vibe a mile away and it ends up making yourself look desperate and depressed over being single.
All of us who are single would like to have someone to share laughs with etc, but you can't go around moping about not being in love and not having that special someone. You will have to go through many meetings with various women and still not find the one who you click with. Like i said, just go on with your life as it is, meet and greet women, make some new aquaintances form new friendships. Remember having things in common is the beginning, and then go from there. But believe me, moping and complaining about being single does not help you, it will hinder you in your search..been there done it , own the tour t-shirt and I am not goin back. | |
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| It's getting harder
Posted: 3/24/2006 12:19:35 PM | | I have met tons of women in parks book stores and malls. The worst place to meet a women worth anything is a bar. A women drinking is a huge turn off and not sexy. You are right that the grocery store is a great place. Just start small chat with people . Food courts at malls are a hot place to meet women too. good luck and trust me these places work for quality women./ | |
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| It's getting harder
Posted: 3/24/2006 12:22:20 PM | grocery store is a great place.
I guess down there because it is not at all here...trust me I worked in that industry for years, watched so many people try to pick up women and the women just want to get thier stuff, pay for it and go. The last thing they want is someone hitting on them while they shop for thier vegetables. Was entertaining to watch though, night after night, we would then keep track of what guys hit on how many women etc, the cashiers get hit on the most.
Food courts at malls are a hot place to meet women too
Really? Again not in our 30's, yes in our teens and early 20's but I have not know anyone in thier 30's doing this. Might be in your area but here in Toronto, we call it eye candy. | |
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| It's getting harder
Posted: 3/24/2006 12:22:24 PM | ariella304,
I feel I don't pressure women into anything, just to hang out. On my profile it says looking or friends. My title says "A friendship to blossom into romance" I'm not misleading any one by any means.. But, that is some awesome advice.... Thanks man | |
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| It's getting harder
Posted: 3/24/2006 12:42:06 PM | | If you see someone of interest, anywhere you go, randomly start up a conversation. It's not hard to do..I'm a chatty person and talk to random people in lines or where ever I might happen to be. I even met a nice lady when I was up north on the city bus... my ex and I met her family and her daughter ended up being my babysitter whenever I traveled up there. It's hard to meet nice people, and sometimes, on here especially, you meet someone really cool and then suddenly they just stop talking to you. But good luck, I'm sure that you'll find someone. And that was a nice compliment about us Canadian Women...much appreciated. | |
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| It's getting harder
Posted: 3/24/2006 2:23:35 PM | | Verissa, Your very welcome, and thank you for the added advice, it all helps. | |
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| It's getting harder
Posted: 3/24/2006 3:03:06 PM | hi and your cute..i have smiled when i read your say here..yes a grocery store..i work in one and men look but are bussy getting food....a bar is hard..but if you notice a cute girl..go and say hi..i know i would ennjoy that..have fun and good luck | |
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| It's getting harder
Posted: 3/24/2006 3:03:28 PM | I am glad to see you changed the photo!
Now one more suggestion, do not tell a woman she is beautiful - it makes her believe her looks are the only reason you are interested - and even if that is the reason, do not say so. Say instead that you read and liked the profile and that she has a lovely smile, a kind smile or interesting or sparkling eyes that spoke to you - that's a better approach.
Also, address something in your message in reference to what you read in the woman's profile. It let's her know you actually read it. I am nearly 50 (next year) and think I am still attractive for my age, but I do not want a man to tell me that his interest in me was only based on my photo. I want a man to read my profile. I am a smart woman and I want to communicate with someone, not look at them while they look at me.
Looks do not last, but character does. You appear to me to be a young man of great character. Say that in your profile or your messages you send. Let women know you are a man of character who appreciates good conversation and simple excursions oustide of bar hopping.
I have a feeling it will not take long for some lucky girl to realize what a catch you are. I wish I were about 15 years younger. 
Chao
Betty  | |
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| It's getting harder
Posted: 3/24/2006 3:51:56 PM | Brayn2,
Thank you very much, that was awesome advice. Thank you for the compliment. | |
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| It's getting harder
Posted: 3/24/2006 4:00:16 PM | | Reason it's hard on here *free site* the poor women here get 10000000's of emails. Onm pay sites it's a tad different just cause you make the effort to contact them which cost the $$$. So with that said don't give up keep email away with respect to our wonderful women of PoF. | |
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| It's getting harder
Posted: 3/24/2006 8:03:12 PM | | Alot of competition here I have noticed... What can we do, stand out in the crowd... | |
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| It's getting harder
Posted: 3/24/2006 8:43:59 PM | I'm not gay or anything, but you're a good-looking guy and seem like a decent person.
My advice is to go for foreign women (especially Lat. Am.). I think they generally know how to appreceite good people better. | |
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| It's getting harder
Posted: 3/24/2006 9:01:06 PM | Latin America huh? They are some gorgeous women. thanks for the compliment  | |
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| It's getting harder
Posted: 3/24/2006 9:34:56 PM | Of all my past relationships, the best ones were with foreign women. Less drama, more trust and they seem to value relationships and good men much better. Not to mention that you are quite religious (according to your profile), they seem to take that more seriously.
Speaking of Latin America, Brazil has a huge evangelical movement. *hint* *hint* | |
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| It's getting harder
Posted: 3/25/2006 6:59:03 AM |
Alot of competition here I have noticed... What can we do, stand out in the crowd...
I am one who does not like to compete for aomeone's attention. But the best way to get a woman's attention is not to stand out in a crowd but to be yourself when talking to her.
I am not one for putting on an act like alot of men do. Mind you yes there are many women who like that and many who enjoy guys competing for her.
Is all part of life. But don't feel all down in the dumps for being single. Enjoy it and take advantage of it while you still are. because there will come a time when you would have passed up doing something, going somewhere because you are down and then you start dating someone and a buddy calls you up and says "Hey let's go here" and you can't now can you? So live it up is all I am saying, socialize while out somewhere and just be you and not down but happy. | |
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| It's getting harder
Posted: 3/26/2006 9:10:59 AM | Read your general approach..it seems fine.
Most of the people on this site are either coming out of a bad relationship/marriage etc etc, and therefore have trust issues and are some what guarded.
You have to look at this site as a way of possibly meeting friends first. The best relationships in the world start off as friends.
From your bio you have a great deal to offer the right person, its a question of patience and also going OUTSIDE this venue to meet people.
I'm NOT latin american and can tell you first hand there are a great deal of us who are genuine and worth the wait. Still searching myself for the right connection.
Good luck and take care. | |
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| It's getting harder
Posted: 3/26/2006 1:29:13 PM | | Thank you Lassy53, alot of people have trust issues I see on here. I just don't understand why join a dating site to express feelings; When you can write a blog on other sites.. I joined here when I was ready to sart seeing people again. Guess I would have expected the same.. No, this is not my only dating venue I seek, but it's worth a shot.. | |
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| It's getting harder
Posted: 3/26/2006 4:29:44 PM | I now look at everything that i do as a potential to meet someone, whether it is going for a bike ride in the trails, shopping at 3 in the morning or even having a flat tire in the pooring rain hoping that a gorgeous brunette will stop to ask if I have a spare...with that thinking my whole attitude has changed and I don't put as much pressure on myself to make the best first impression, most of the time I probably make an ass out of myself because i'm too busy being me and not worrying what i think they want me to be (it's even landed me a few numbers)
Just throw yourself out there into the world but always be prepared to meet the woman of your dreams. (so keep the track pants and wife beater t-shirts at home) The next time you trip and fall and land on your ass hopefully in will be right in front of a gorgeous woman and if it is just go with it. | |
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