| y cant a booty call stay a botty call
Posted: 4/11/2007 3:53:51 PM | Well its hard for the 2 of you too just be friends after making love. Feelings come into play after the first time and of course it as to be the woman. Because we usually think with our hearts and not with lust. I have been in this situation and the only way to keep being with that person for me. Is to have a love/hate relationship. Not sure if that makes sense to any of you on here but it works for me. I see him I am with him and once I leave him I forget about him. If I start to think about him I think of him in a really bad way. I have feelings for him but i turn them into hate. I enjoy being with him alot. He makes me feel good even if its only for a short time. I escape life with him and have fun. Hope this helps you. But if you want to be friends with this girl the only way this can happen is if you stop having sex with her. And even then it will take a long time for your friendship to get back to where it was before. Good luck....remember friends and lovers don't mix...... | |
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| y cant a booty call stay a botty call
Posted: 4/11/2007 4:00:10 PM | mrchev
Maybe you should get your booty calls from another girl. You will only end up hurting your friend if you keep persisting with your relationship. Just let your friend know as soon as possible that you're not interested in having a relationship and I'm sure she will respect you in the morning. | |
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| y cant a booty call stay a botty call
Posted: 4/12/2007 4:44:18 PM | Sorry mrchev but totally utterly bored is right. You went beyond booty call. Booty calls should be with someone that you don`t really know. And as for sex with friends...that should be a one time occurence...curiosity, sympathy sex, consolation sex, but not on-going.
And for all of you that have booty calls, I certainly hope you`re using the booty call agreement form & are both signing it. Then there`s no misunderstandings...lays it all out in black & white.
You risk ruining your friendship completely if you let this continue. Be honest with her. Yeah, she`ll be hurt for a while but if she`s mature about it & can put it in the past, then the 2 of you will hopefully be friends again once a little time has gone by. | |
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| y cant a booty call stay a botty call
Posted: 4/12/2007 6:02:58 PM | | Booty... botty... whichever... why are there even such 'calls' around? Strength of character would be to not use or be used. | |
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| y cant a booty call stay a botty call
Posted: 6/25/2007 2:37:05 PM | Simple don't lie to her. Tell her you got into this situation because you wanted the sex...and thats what she said she wanted too...so you are willing to keep it up if thats all she still wants. But if she wants more you'll take your love'n elsewhere...
Don't you know that you very rarely in life get your cake and eat it too. | |
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| y cant a booty call stay a botty call
Posted: 6/26/2007 11:15:41 AM | I have alway made it a point tell a women that I only see her as a friend. If we agree to that point, I then ask that she agree that we should never consider having sex. That has worked perfectly over the last 20 years or so.
I must admit that doing this has some of the greatest advantages of all other relationships. One, you get to be really close friends. Two, you have a wingman whenever you need it. Three, you get the "womans" perspective alot more often. There is something to be said about having a women tell you your being an ass and be able to believe and trust them when they say it. | |
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| y cant a booty call stay a botty call
Posted: 6/26/2007 11:36:21 AM | I think that you really need to do as a few other posters have mentioned and take a good hard look at you!
Let's face it if all you want is sex then I am sure that you can find that somewhere else. But you want sex with her...even though she has expressed deep feelings for you.
Could it be that you have feelings for her as well..but are just afraid to admit them for whatever reason you may have.
I think that going into these types of relationships you can say that you only want sex...and that men can do this and not want more.
I think that if this continues for a longer period of time that both parties can "fall" not just the women. Perhaps women fall faster...but men fall as well. It is a natural course for a relationship to take.
Just because you do not say it out loud...because you pretend differently does not mean that it is not so.
So before you do something that you may latter regret...think long and hard and be honest with yourself.
Good Luck | |
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| y cant a booty call stay a botty call
Posted: 6/26/2007 11:37:57 AM |
but what is "botty" call?
Robotic sex. Sex with robots. Machine sex (includes battery-operated devices; e.g. "BoB"). Excludes manually-operated devices.
As always, this and the multi-threaded topic of FWB, reveals that some things work for some people and not for others. Simply be honest. If expectations change after the initial agreement, they change - but honesty is still important (IMHO), even if it's not what one party wants to hear. You may lose your booty call, but with honesty, you can keep your self-respect. Hopefully, you will also keep hers. | |
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| y cant a booty call stay a botty call
Posted: 6/26/2007 11:47:33 AM | This sort of thing almost never works, because most people lack self-control nowadays, and if they did, they would never do it in the first place. So once one partner lacks the self-control to stay away from sex, they also lack the self-control to not fall in love.
Just move on. Once she has gone to the love thing, she isn't going to switch back. She's converted all the time you've spent from the first time you met, into a full-blown relationship, all in her mind.
But do the decent thing. Pretend to be friends. Don't call often. Go and date new people. Wait until she is dating a decent guy, and then she will want to be friends. But don't listen to her whine on about her new boyfriend who is cheating on her, and you'll get the "love bug". Surest way. | |
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| y cant a booty call stay a botty call
Posted: 6/26/2007 12:00:07 PM | | It's simple actually. As much as we want to believe as humans we can have meaningless sex often with the same person thats just not the case. Sex brings two people together so the more you do it the stronger the bond/attraction becomes for at least one of the people. | |
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| y cant a booty call stay a botty call
Posted: 6/26/2007 12:10:47 PM | You are in biggggg trouble!..If you tell her that you just want the booty call and nothing else, she is going to resent you and your friendship will most likely be over. That should teach you a lesson to never have sex with friends nor consider keeping a "friend" as a booty call. Just doesn't work!... Good luck OP..  | |
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| y cant a booty call stay a botty call
Posted: 6/26/2007 10:39:16 PM | | because i just personally dont think its natural for sex to be "just sex". thats why sex and friendship, or friends with benefits is a kiss of death. | |
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| y cant a booty call stay a botty call
Posted: 6/27/2007 3:11:34 AM | "y cant a booty call stay a botty call"
First of all, it would REALLY be helpful if you could explain the distinction between a "booty" call and a "botty" call. I'm not familiar with that particular slang, nor the subtle differences between the two very similar terms. | |
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| y cant a booty call stay a botty call
Posted: 6/27/2007 7:02:15 AM | OP...you need to remember that WOMEN form emotional attachments during sex. Men, do not. So, unfortunately, your friend has let her emotions get carried away. Either put her in check and continue the booty calls...or ignore her emotional ass.
~Welder's Girl~ | |
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| y cant a booty call stay a botty call
Posted: 6/27/2007 7:12:37 AM | First of all... maybe the whole reason she suggested that you guys "help each other out" is because she liked you...probably even cared about you... maybe she was hoping to make you like her... this is something that should've been discussed before you actually got busy... she should've known that you were all about the ass, and nothing more...
you can't have your cake and eat it 2... if you really want to be her friend... stop banging her, and act like one... | |
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| y cant a booty call stay a botty call
Posted: 6/27/2007 7:13:45 AM | You selfish SOB.. I can't believe you did not see things changing. 
Find another woman, be a man, try and remain a friend to this woman but stay out of her bed. Friends don't hurt friends. Think about her feelings , not just your need to get some. | |
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| y cant a booty call stay a botty call
Posted: 6/27/2007 7:17:25 AM | Argh!
Perhaps she is confused--I know I am. Is "botty" a synonym for "booty"? Maybe she doesn't know if you want botty or booty.
Beyond spelling/typos, you are shallow and somewhat lacking in perception. You have already lost her as a friend, and the loss began when you thought you could booty/botty call her and that she would not want more.
Sorry about your loss, perhaps you will be more discerning in the future and not indulge in what you think will be a no-ties access to a booty--99.999% of the time, it doesn't work that way. | |
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| y cant a booty call stay a botty call
Posted: 6/27/2007 9:41:41 AM | The problem is you've been friends for a long time. So she likes something about you otherwise she wouldn't have been your friend. You owe her the truth. You are enjoying her sexually, but you see no potential in a relationship. It is going to hurt her. There is no getting around that, but it is not your fault, because she said she wanted a booty call and so do you. There are some women who only want booty calls and it doesn't go from there, but for some if it continues for a long while they might feel bonded to you. She is a human being, in the end, and she seems to want a relationship. You have to let her go. Tell her she is a wonderful human being, a giving friend, but you can't give her a relationship, and you know she needs more than you can give her right now, and that the booty calls have to stop, because you can't do that to your friend, and you would understand if she won't have contact with you for a while and needs her space, and you don't want to hurt her feelings..
Be honest, man.... She is more important than a booty call... | |
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| y cant a booty call stay a botty call
Posted: 6/27/2007 2:57:53 PM | Its the trajedy of nature I'm afraid.. men are able to remain detached.. women get attached and want and expect a connection. There are, I'm sure some exceptions-- such as when a woman is not really that attracted to a man to begin with so she can just enjoy the sex for sex. But thats the reason we have call-girls who are paid because real women just arent trained or able to remain unattached.
You're going to lose the friendship and the booty call after awhile. She has already stated she has intentions. Move forward with her or end it gently so she can move on. | |
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| y cant a booty call stay a botty call
Posted: 6/27/2007 3:39:11 PM | WOW dude, Perhaps next time YOU use the BIG head to do all your thinking instead of the little one. I gotta admire YOU for wanting your cake and eat it too (nice thought) but really STUPID idea to actually think you would get away with it and on that note I want some of what your smokin (lol)...My only advise is YOU might as well screw her brains out and enjoy it while it lasts, because the friendship is toast, it will NEVER be the same...here is an option, get her drunk and invite your buddy over and tag-team her ass and hope she falls for the other guy , yeah I know that is about as stupid as crossing that friendship/sex line to begin with, huhhh... just a curious thought, but did you possibly misunderstand her when she asked "if you wanted it to go further", could she have been hinting around for deeper penetration (LMAO)???... on a more serious side, THANK GOD there were noo innocent children involved or concieved from this hair brain idea the 2 of you hatched up...yes SHE is just as guilty as YOU...sorry dude, I honestly do feel for ya, but I'm hoping YOU learned a serious lesson here...I'll leave ya with yet another scarey thought, imagine if YOU caught a disease from her (nice parting gift from your long time friend), huhhh ...Good Luck to ya | |
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| y cant a booty call stay a botty call
Posted: 6/27/2007 4:08:27 PM | Here's a novel idea...
How about being HONEST?!?!
Can't you just say "Hey, listen, this was supposed to be a casual thing, but it's turning into more for you, so how about we lose the sex to save our friendship?"
Heck, who knows, maybe that's all it will take.
Oh, one more thing...
Get a spell checker. Your spelling is WORSE than terrible...
http://aspell.net/win32/ | |
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| y cant a booty call stay a botty call
Posted: 7/1/2007 4:01:47 AM | Power to all the people who can carry on the booty calls, but at the starting point you had an arrangement if she in unable to stick to it then end it.
If you wish to continue sleeping with her then you will continue to hear her thoughts and feelings and questions of love. Ultimately it seems like you just care about the sex and she is starting to think that it's been a while and you haven't found anyone so you will want to make your position more pronuoucned.
End the booty calls and if it ends the friendship then so be it. Friends and sex don't mix very well. The next time you get a booty call from a girl, make sure she is an aquaintance or go out and meet someone outside your friendship circle. | |
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| y cant a booty call stay a botty call
Posted: 7/1/2007 12:21:10 PM | "I must admit that doing this has some of the greatest advantages of all other relationships. One, you get to be really close friends. Two, you have a wingman whenever you need it. Three, you get the "womans" perspective alot more often. There is something to be said about having a women tell you your being an ass and be able to believe and trust them when they say it."
I especially enjoy that last part! Now if the guys would listen, they might learn something. | |
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| y cant a booty call stay a botty call
Posted: 7/1/2007 2:22:25 PM | OP, usually I'm all about telling people that there are many, many options in life but not here. This one's black and white: either have both the sex and the relationship, or loose her completely. You have to accept that either way, you will never again be friends. If you stop the sex / relationship (and if she's worth a damn she won't let you take from her only what you want) then you will have "issues" hanging over you that will doom any reversion to mere friendship.
Personally, I don't see why you think you're in a bad position. You've got a woman whose company you enjoy, with whom you have good sex, who loves you. What the Hell else do you want! Either way, you're being a man-child with this "Boo Hoo I just want a booty call" B*llocks. If you respect her at all, then either way it's time to stand up, mature, and be a man. I'm really not trying to be nasty - I'm just stating that if you don't take some responsibility for the need to evolve this quasi-half relationship into love or let it go kindly but without delay.
Ask yourself honestly if you'll be kicking yourself over loosing her in ten years time... | |
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