| So you want a second chance?
Posted: 6/29/2006 11:04:46 AM |
hey i took your advice and it was worked out wonderfully. i now have another girl friend and i pretty much erased my ex out of my life. i would like to thank you for the advice.
Glad to hear it helped you. When did you read the advice and how long did it take for you? Others will be encouraged to hear your story. | |
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| So you want a second chance?
Posted: 6/29/2006 2:43:36 PM | | I thought about the second chance thing but I just couldn't do it. As much as I loved the good times, and there were so many, it only took one bad time to remind me of how violent someone could be. I couldn't take that chance again. | |
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| So you want a second chance?
Posted: 6/29/2006 6:24:33 PM | Im done! No more Ms. Nice Girl!
Turns out my x may have not cheated after all. But never the less. Im moving on........ Im putting my boots on and im walking as far and sassy as I can. No one should dwell on a second chance, give up hope, make the choice yours, decide you need to move on! If they come running ignore them! If you have to change your phone number, block calls, do what ever you need to do not to expect that next call or message to be from them. Take control. I know sometimes it hurts really bad. But youll get through it. We always get through it. The 2 month rule is good, but then your just counting the days to cave or be hurt that he/she didnt make the first move! and believe me they generally have to make the first move or you may set yourself up for more agony. Id rather be angry then sad, if you want to dwell on something, dwell on how pissed off you are cause YOUR WORTH IT! And hey when youve moved on and when and if they come back, they'll either be the one crying or if you decide you still want them then you can set your boundaries! Good luck to you all! Call your friends or your support team and do something outrageous! Go and Chat! I wish you all good Karma!  | |
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| So you want a second chance?
Posted: 6/30/2006 7:08:06 PM | | well let me give you my sappy story.me and my ex boyfriend were together for 4 years on and off. we fought but we loved each other..i am going to admit that we had our problems and at the time i was starting to have my doubts.i wanted a marriage and he said he we were too young.i would have done anything for him. In april i met this guy that works for my company and we kind of hit it off. he gave me his number and i took it i called and we were talking..behind my boyfriends back. through out this my and the guy from work talked alot and we even met up for coffee.Need i say that i never physically do anything with him. all we would do is talk/flirt. that's when i asked my b/f for a break because i started to get confused. We were on a break for less than 1 wk when i realized that i messed up and i wasn't willing to lose my b/f over some guy. so we stopped talking. and then my boyfriend found out about me talking to the guy and he flipped. He said i cheated on him and that he couldn't believe i threw away 4 years. I swear i never did anything with that guy but he didn't believe me..why should he i lied to him for over 1 month. He broke up with me. three wks after everything happened i looked for him and he straight out told me it was over and that he didn't want a girlfriend. He also said i cheated and that that ruined the relationship. i do take responsibity for lying but not the cheating. fast forward 2 months i have been trying to do what you said..i just want to know do you think that after all that there is still a chance for him to come back?? we have broken up before..the longest has been 1 month...i try to trick my self to think that it's his pride that is getting in the way..does love go away in 2 months...do you think he'll come back..your advice is greatly appreciated | |
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| So you want a second chance?
Posted: 6/30/2006 9:28:18 PM | too_tuff, it's hard to say. If he is convinced you have cheated getting him back will be very hard. And to top if off, you admitted to lying to him so why SHOULD be believe you didn't cheat? I am not saying you did, but from his perspective, it's really hard to imagine you didn't.
The best thing you can do is follow the guide to a "T" as best you can. Guys tend to come back moreso than women. However in your case when there are acusations of cheating some men will never come back.
Take this as a learning experience. You still have to let him go, regardless of whether he comes back or not, for your own sanity -- and the ability to find someone else.
You may miss Mr. Right if you're pining over Mr. Gone....
PS: If you reply, please break it down into paragraphs so it's easier to read! Thanks! | |
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| So you want a second chance?
Posted: 6/30/2006 10:33:17 PM | So do you think that I made a mistake by admitting to talking to someone else? I thought that it would be better if i confessed and brought everything out in the open. Instead of telling a lie to cover up another lie.
And I understand your point on if I lied to him about talking to someone then why would I tell the truth on cheating. I have been trying to keep myself busy in order not to think about him. I have to admit it's getting easier over time.
My other question is: I recently found out he opened up a account on a online picture rating website less than a week after we broke up...is he doing that out of anger/hurt/revenge??? It's hard because i find myself going to the website just so i can see him. Even though your advice states no to do that. I try to stop but it's hard because i still miss him.
Also what are the chances of a man forgiving a women for "cheating"???
PS: You give wonderful advice and i just want to thank you for putting everything in prespective | |
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| So you want a second chance?
Posted: 6/30/2006 10:36:06 PM | | If you didn't have any physical side to that relationship - you didn't cheat. You can talk, and even flirt, with people without crossing that line. Once the physical line is crossed, it's cheating in the real sense of the word. | |
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| So you want a second chance?
Posted: 6/30/2006 10:52:18 PM | | THANK YOU !!!!! this has been my point!!!! If were were married or even engaged i so wouln't have done it...but i figured "hey, he doesn't want to marry me right now...why can't i talk to guys". I never stopped loving him...that's the point i tried to get across to him...but he wouldn't here it. What can i do if i can't change his mind..Right? | |
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| So you want a second chance?
Posted: 7/1/2006 12:22:03 AM | You can't change his mind. Trust was broken when you lied so anything you say after he will have a hard time believing.
Just follow the guide. It might work to change his mind, it might not. But either way you'll be better off.
Go NO CONTACT for at least 2 months. No calls, emails, text, nothing. Let him have some time to think about life without you. | |
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| So you want a second chance?
Posted: 7/1/2006 12:23:42 AM |
Also what are the chances of a man forgiving a women for "cheating"???
Less than a woman forgiving a man for doing so. I've noticed women will take a man back before a man will take a woman back. It depends on how much he loved you.
That's why I think NC is good for you. Give him PLENTY of time to think about things. It will be good for you as well to help build yourself into an even better person. | |
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| So you want a second chance?
Posted: 7/1/2006 2:49:57 AM | | Hey ok try this on for size me and my boyfriend had the perfect relationship he loved me soo muchhe looked at me andhis eyes sparkled........then we broke up which we did every week almost and i went and slept with another guy.So theni foundout if i pregnant and i told my boyfriend that it might not be his. Do you think there could ever be a chance for the sparkle in his eye to return even after i cheated and put him throughbrake after brake up like right now hes so fed up he doesnt even want me to come back. i feel like an idiot, but i love him. | |
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| So you want a second chance?
Posted: 7/1/2006 2:53:48 AM | | My story is the same except i did cheat when i went on the break i hope there is a chance good luck | |
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| So you want a second chance?
Posted: 7/1/2006 2:55:05 AM | | why did u feel like you needed to talk to others guys if the other one made you soo happy | |
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| So you want a second chance?
Posted: 7/1/2006 9:26:04 AM | Do you think there could ever be a chance for the sparkle in his eye to return even after i cheated and put him throughbrake after brake up like right now hes so fed up he doesnt even want me to come back. i feel like an idiot, but i love him.
Honestly, probabably not. Why couldn't you wait? You had unprotected sex with someone less than a week after breaking up with your b/f? You know that was probably not the best of ideas.
Speaking from a guy's perspective, if the "love of my life" gets pregnant by another man I would turn away and never look back. | |
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| So you want a second chance?
Posted: 7/1/2006 9:55:28 AM | I'm just getting over
"the I want a second chance phase"
My husband and I were together
along time but he's decided his friends
are more important.. I'm not sure
why people change/act the way they do but
if you cheated on him why should he take you back?
I plan on dating again within the next few weeks but I
won't feel hurt or guilty about it because he's more
less told me that hes not in love with me and
I love him enough to want him to be happy
but if you really want him back be sexy to yourself..
would you date you? if not he probably wouldnt either. | |
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| So you want a second chance?
Posted: 7/1/2006 10:18:45 AM | | Well i have not spoken to him or seen him since May 27 with no text or call or even email.It's been so hard. And to angieinalberta like I said before we were so in love and I was willing to do anything for him. I wanted to get married and he didn't feel we were ready. I guess when a guy other than your boyfriend gives you attention you like it. I made a huge mistake and that is something I regret everyday. | |
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| So you want a second chance?
Posted: 7/1/2006 12:30:01 PM | | Hard lesson learned, TT2H. I hope you remember that lesson for the rest of your life. There will be other men and you'll fall in love again. Just don't rush off to get attention from another man. If you're not getting your needs met, talk to him about it and get it resolved or break up before looking elsewhere for attention. | |
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| So you want a second chance?
Posted: 7/3/2006 3:21:45 AM | | My boyfriend and I broke up about a month ago. We were together for almost two years.I stood by him through a lot of pain and suffering. He had a breakdown, lost his business, and then lost his kids to the children's Aid. During our fight for the kids our relationship becameso stressful we fought all the time. He began spending more time with a female friend and then ended up breaking up with me, claiming I was using his kids against him. A week after I moved out he was calling telling me he loved me and missed me and asked if I would give him a second chance. I had been crushed by the emotional abuse in this relationship and told him yes but we had stuff to work on. The next week he is telling me I should be going on other dates, then he is lovey dovey again again and we end up sharing an intimate moment. The same day I find out he is now seeing (whatever that means) his female friend and he is staying at her house all the time. Now he is still telling me he loves me he wants me in his life and a friend (no way) he says we can't be together right now because he is really screwed up, but then he is with her...who he says he has feelings for. Anyways I wish I had of read your msg first I finally got sick of him changing his mind in the last month and me sitting around crying about it. I left a rather rude msg for him I did also call him at her place and tell him how hurt and angry I was and that I may not of ment everything I said. He really didn't seem to care and we got into a bit of a fight which resulted with him saying goodnight and hanging up the phone. So I called him back and told him not to call me to discuss the msg I had already left. I told him not to call me again unless he got his life straightend out someday and I couldn't promise I'd be around. I made a list of things he did that hurt me while we together and apart I look at it everytime I want to call him. I feel better then I did after I left that msg. But I still want to call him sometimes...and I know he is with her and I doubt he cares about me as much as he claims. Do you have any ideas of things I could do other then my list. I work nights and I am alone all night long...that's when I want to call him the most. | |
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| So you want a second chance?
Posted: 7/3/2006 11:48:59 AM | Too Tuff.
Did you really make a huge mistake by talking to another guy ??, you didn't cross the line with this other guy, so think of that as a plus on your side. If you didn't love your boyfriend, you would have crossed the line with this other guy. I am not sure about all this "do not contact" advise people are giving you, how do you not know that your "boyfriend" is not just waiting for you to make the first move in getting back with him ?. Remember your on a thread called "broken hearts", most people on here are either going thro a breakup or have gone thro a breakup. Your not going to get people posting here who gave their boyfriend/girlfriend a second chance and it worked out, would you be posting here if your boyfriend gave you a second chance ?, no you wouldn't because you would be back in a relationship with him and not looking for advise. There are people out there who were given a second chance by either their boyfriend or girlfriend and things worked out in the end.
Good luck with whatever decision you make. | |
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| So you want a second chance?
Posted: 7/3/2006 4:34:42 PM | | What if you the relationship moved to fast and before you know it, it falls apart because you smothered each other too much. When i know deep in my heart we love each other and if we played are cards differently we could maybe have been together. Would it be worth it then to talk to her about it and try it at a slower pace, learning boundaries and stuff | |
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| So you want a second chance?
Posted: 7/3/2006 4:45:31 PM | | Great Advice for someone that is so young. Perhaps you should write to the guys about playing mind games with women. I dont give second chances once you mess up that is it. If I can't trust you the 1st time why should I trust you the 2nd time around. I've never look back, life is way to short to be stuck in the past and wonder what went wrong. If he did not treat you right the first time he isn't worthy of your attentions. | |
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| So you want a second chance?
Posted: 7/4/2006 12:30:38 AM | | well rian i know that he's not waiting for me because i tried talking to him about 3 wks after it all happened and he didn't want to talk to me..even though i drove 50 miles to go and talk to him...all he kept saying is that he's been thinking and that he doesn't want a girlfriend right now and he just wants to be alone and he doesn't want to go through this shit anymore. i tried to explain what happened but he wouldn't hear it...he was being sooo stubborn! and i even called him the next day..and he told me it was over and for me to move on and that i would thank him later...whatever that meant..so i did try..the thing that i can't understand is how i gave HIM so many chances..and he couldn't give me one chance. And you're right..i never stopped loving him...all he can hate me for is lying...and even that's bad. but the point being is that he didn't give me a second chance | |
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