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| So you want a second chance?
Posted: 12/26/2006 2:09:34 PM | Good on you platonikgirl - every day you have control of your own life - it gets easier.
I am now "dry" since July 19th - that is over 5 months of no contact - I have it made now. | |
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| So you want a second chance?
Posted: 12/26/2006 8:59:38 PM | | Heh. Sort of like a recovering alcoholic so it is with NC. The longer you keep it, the better off you'll be. And if they want to come back, odds are you won't want them back anyway! | |
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| So you want a second chance?
Posted: 12/28/2006 11:35:07 AM | Well your forum is not only very informative but completely true. Everone has been through an experience that scars us, and for the most part we all have wished in one way or another "if i just haden't said that", "If only he/she would change _____". The problem is that people are who they are, and do what they are used to doing. People can change if they want to, especially when your talking in the context of a "behavior". The problem here is that people get behaviors confused with personality structures/traits. It is impossible to change someones personality structure!!!!! As a person that works in the field I can say a few things about love and ex's.
When two people are in love sometimes changes happen, for the good and for the bad. Sometimes they fight and get angry with one another. ANGER masks LOVE, it DOES NOT destroy it. When the anger has built up enough without a resolution here is where RESENTMENT comes into play. Once you experience the resentment it is almost impossible to get the love back. You will soon be untrusting toward the person and often times throw the resentment back in your partners face time after time, long after this was formed.
When you break up with someone, you end it. Right away you feel sorrow, hurt and run the scenarios through your mind like a tape recorder. The problem here is that after a short period of time you start to doubt yourself, maybe feel guilty, lonely and call the person........NOTHING has been solved now. You must remember to take a step back, process everything that has happened and decided whether or not you can deal with this persons behaviors and/or personality. What can be changed? What can't? Can you deal with that? I can say i have recently been through this experience and had taken back someone 3 times.....stupid, yes, but it was my process. I finally took my own advice and learned that his behaviors were his personality and he was never going to change because he didn't see what he was doing as a problem. I was not willing to deal with something that i felt went against everything i was brought up to be, so as hurt as i was i moved on.
YOUR ADVICE IS EXACTLY WHAT I GO THROUGH WITH PATIENTS and the more people that realize this process, the better off they will be. Remember, no one is perfect, we live and we learn....but the most important thing to remember is your relationship with yourself and don't sacrafice that for anything or anyone! | |
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| So you want a second chance?
Posted: 12/28/2006 6:10:30 PM | | My ex and I have been broken up for 5 years now and I did pretty much everything you said. What are the chances of someone being broken up that long getting back together. He is still in my heart and I don't know how to get him out. Any advice?? | |
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| So you want a second chance?
Posted: 12/28/2006 7:21:55 PM | If you are counting how long you have not been in contact then you are not living in the present and focusing on you. If you need to say I haven't contacted him/her for this long and it feels great then you have so much more work to do.
This is what I mean Jarbarian when I say that the you should scrap the part about the ex coming back if you go with the no contact rule. Most people are only doing it in hopes that the ex will come back and are not really doing the work to get healthy..
I have lots of experience in this one. I was in a relationship with a man for close to 8 years...when it was over....I died....and all the time we were apart...I did not contact him once (thank gawd it was at the time when it wasn't that popular to have a home computer). We didn't speak for over a year....but he and I knew what the other was doing most of the time cause of a mutual friend. Anyways he came back into my life...it started up again....but then, I took a different course and made it more of a friendship and that's what it is now....we love each other but know that we cannot be with each other and my love has grown to platonic love and we will be in each others lives forever.
Most of my exs have come back and to be honest I never really wanted them back....I moved on....but not in the healthy way...I just went on to the next guy. I have recently had my heart stomped on and my soul crushed....the worse experience ever in an ended relationship for me.....I finally found someone I COULD REALLY LOVE and boom, I guess I'm trying to believe that the Universe did not want us to be. I contacted him for closure the first month we were apart....I couldn't stay off the stupid computer incessantly emailing him over and over again...(if it had of been years ago I know for a fact that I would have just left him alone...I never do the psycho crazy phone thing...I don't like to phone men up ever...its just something in me. I did however text and do all the modern readily available stuff that I really shouldn't have in front of me due to my being so impulsive. Anyways I know that I'm not waiting for him to get in touch with me, cause I'm no longer contacting him....I doubt that will happen...he has moved on...I too moved on by using men to distract me...and it worked....never thought of him while with these men. I know not a healthy thing to do and I know I have stuff still to work on.
The new year comes and I realize there will never be another him and I AM ALLOWED TO LOVE HIM FOREVER...no one can take that away from me......but I will never wait it out like I see some of these people who post on here....for him to come back to me,cause I'm making no contact LMAO....that puts you in a rut and you have not moved forward if you come on here and tell how long its been....means you are thinking about them counting each moment and each day..........so not healthy....just gives them so much power.
Take the power back and forget the no contact...think about you....if you feel like telling them off...go ahead...if you feel like you need to say hi...do it.....but please don't be doing the no contact in hopes that they will return....that's just a waste of your precious life.
It ended for a reason at the time....maybe...who knows...you may meet up again but then you may meet up again and be so happy that you don't care..
listen to the song by Garth Brooks "unanswered prayers"...it will uplift you and open you up to realizing sometimes its what you can not have that you want so badly and then when you do get it you don't want it any longer.
Life sucks big time when someone you love doesnt love you back....I know...please forget the no contact rule....its really stupid....it manipulative and only means you will get hurt again...
Remeber if you love something set it free......set yourself free as well!!!! | |
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| So you want a second chance?
Posted: 12/28/2006 9:47:52 PM |
My ex and I have been broken up for 5 years now and I did pretty much everything you said. What are the chances of someone being broken up that long getting back together. He is still in my heart and I don't know how to get him out. Any advice??
It's been five years. Odds are not very good he is coming back. Have you talked to a Counselor. Have you been seeing anyone else? You really need to forgive him and let go. Five years is a long time to hang on to hope.
My ex is getting married. The door is shut and I am READY to meet someone else and start dating. There is no looking back now. That's a closed chapter in my life.
Isn't it time you closed that chapter as well? | |
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| So you want a second chance?
Posted: 12/28/2006 10:02:48 PM |
If you are counting how long you have not been in contact then you are not living in the present and focusing on you. If you need to say I haven't contacted him/her for this long and it feels great then you have so much more work to do.
I think counting is only good to reach a goal. Say 2 months. Then you should stop counting, hopefully will be well into the healing process and start moving on.
This is what I mean Jarbarian when I say that the you should scrap the part about the ex coming back if you go with the no contact rule. Most people are only doing it in hopes that the ex will come back and are not really doing the work to get healthy..
I never said it was a guarantee. I know for a fact that if you CLING to an ex, it will push them away. If you grovel, beg, cry, plead or do anything to try and coerce them to stay with you, those efforts will be futile.
For some ex's who just need some space, NC is a GOOD thing. It will give them time away to miss you. Again, that's no guarantee they will come back and as I said, the odds are slim, but if you want to have some chance at all, let them go and be free to choose to stay or leave.
Never use NC as a means to manipulate them back into your life. It has proven in many cases where the ex is unsure to HELP an ex see what they are missing but for the most part NC is essentially a tool to help YOU heal and move on.
I have lots of experience in this one. I was in a relationship with a man for close to 8 years...when it was over....I died....and all the time we were apart...I did not contact him once (thank gawd it was at the time when it wasn't that popular to have a home computer). We didn't speak for over a year....but he and I knew what the other was doing most of the time cause of a mutual friend. Anyways he came back into my life...it started up again....but then, I took a different course and made it more of a friendship and that's what it is now....we love each other but know that we cannot be with each other and my love has grown to platonic love and we will be in each others lives forever.
That's great! Doesn't always work with everyone. Some people are going to hold out the chance for reconciliation and for those people, I believe NC and sticking with it is the best course of action. You can't really screw up if you're not around and they can't really miss you if you don't go away. But sticking to NC is the QUICKEST way to heal. COLD TURKEY so to speak.
Look, if an ex really wants you back, NOTHING will stop them from finding you. They will be relentless in their pursuit of you. Hopefully you'll be healed to the point where you won't want them back anymore. But if you do, remember that you have to start all over from scratch again. You can't go back to where you left off because it will end up the same way again. You have to date them like a new person again.
Most of my exs have come back and to be honest I never really wanted them back....I moved on....but not in the healthy way...I just went on to the next guy. I have recently had my heart stomped on and my soul crushed....the worse experience ever in an ended relationship for me.....I finally found someone I COULD REALLY LOVE and boom, I guess I'm trying to believe that the Universe did not want us to be. I contacted him for closure the first month we were apart....I couldn't stay off the stupid computer incessantly emailing him over and over again...(if it had of been years ago I know for a fact that I would have just left him alone...I never do the psycho crazy phone thing...I don't like to phone men up ever...its just something in me. I did however text and do all the modern readily available stuff that I really shouldn't have in front of me due to my being so impulsive. Anyways I know that I'm not waiting for him to get in touch with me, cause I'm no longer contacting him....I doubt that will happen...he has moved on...I too moved on by using men to distract me...and it worked....never thought of him while with these men. I know not a healthy thing to do and I know I have stuff still to work on.
I never believe in moving from relationship to relationship because in essence you never take the time to heal. I believe that in order for someone to have a healthy relationship they must be indifferent towards their EX. Indifference, not hate, is the opposite of love. When you no longer love them you are ready to move on and meet someone new.
The new year comes and I realize there will never be another him and I AM ALLOWED TO LOVE HIM FOREVER...no one can take that away from me......but I will never wait it out like I see some of these people who post on here....for him to come back to me,cause I'm making no contact LMAO....that puts you in a rut and you have not moved forward if you come on here and tell how long its been....means you are thinking about them counting each moment and each day..........so not healthy....just gives them so much power.
For some it does, for others it's merely an accomplished goal that helps them feel better about themselves. "Hey, I made it 6 months NC, I am doing great!" In those cases I think it's perfectly fine to count. As long as it's looked upon as a goal and not something you are depressed about.
Take the power back and forget the no contact...think about you....if you feel like telling them off...go ahead...if you feel like you need to say hi...do it.....but please don't be doing the no contact in hopes that they will return....that's just a waste of your precious life.
If you feel like telling them off, do it. If you feel like using NC to heal, do it. Whatever it takes for someone to heal and move on, I am 100% for. Again, I do NOT believe that NC should be used with the HOPE of bringing them back. The primary reason for NC is to allow the dumpee to heal. If during that time the ex wants to come back the dumpee will by that time hopefully healed to the point they will have moved on.
It ended for a reason at the time....maybe...who knows...you may meet up again but then you may meet up again and be so happy that you don't care..
Each failed relationship should be looked upon as a LESSON we needed to learn. I learned a LOT from my last relationship and grew immensely. I should be thanking my ex for dumping me because she did ME a favor and got me out of an unhealthy relationship in which ultimately I would have been miserable in had we married. We were not right for each other and credit her for recognizing it and doing the right thing.
I learned so much from this experience that the next good woman that finds me is going to reap the rewards and then some :)
listen to the song by Garth Brooks "unanswered prayers"...it will uplift you and open you up to realizing sometimes its what you can not have that you want so badly and then when you do get it you don't want it any longer.
I think we all experience that. I think with my ex I wanted her so much because I couldn't have her but when I did have her, it just wasn't that great, so you are right and so is Mr. Brooks.
Life sucks big time when someone you love doesnt love you back....I know...please forget the no contact rule....its really stupid....it manipulative and only means you will get hurt again...
There is no greater pain in this world than sitting next to someone you are deeply in love with and KNOWING you can not have them. Unrequited love is the worst pain of all.
Remeber if you love something set it free......set yourself free as well!!!!
True that. True that. | |
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| So you want a second chance?
Posted: 12/28/2006 11:24:50 PM | | well i broke up with a girl, and we had everything in common i loved this girl the first month and i know thats way to early but then she cheated on me with her x i gave her a second chance casue she told me she loved me and stuff, now its been a 1 1/2 year and half and we were so good we were in love i wanted to marry this girl, but then i need to go to minn. to vist my sis and she didnt want me to go so she gave up on me and now iam in pain i mean iam doing ok now itsbeen like 1 month but eveything was great we talk sometimes but we fight casue we both had new dates and stuff but i will always love her... what should i do, should i give it till summer or should i still be nice, and it hurts more when i am good with herlil bro and sis i still talk tthem there 5 and 6 and i love those lil guys! i got do something my heart tells me to get her back but shes ben doing way to much bad stuff idk what to do anymore? i want to find some sweet, cute, and that likethe same as me i want to settle down soon iam not so into partying anymore | |
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| So you want a second chance?
Posted: 12/28/2006 11:30:34 PM | "Most people are only doing it in hopes that the ex will come back and are not really doing the work to get healthy.."
Don't put me in that group.
Going to work on myself was all part of the reason I was able to kill the contact. I sure as heck did not do it as some kind of hope to get her back.
The very first time I did not pick up the phone (she called often) was the first test and I passed it. Each time it got easier to look at the caller ID and not pick up the phone. I also told one of my step daughters (one of her girls) that I was killing it off and she could tell that to her mom - so her mother would not wonder what was going on. That was six months ago - I wish her well - BYE.
I to agree - totally drop the concept of them "missing you" and coming back - the entire idea is ... it is not about them anymore - it is about you now. It is not at all about the past it is about the future now.
If someone can get the fact that it is all about >>>>>>>>>>>>>>> now - they can do it. If the keep living in the past .............
As long as you keep doing what you have been doing you will keep getting what you are getting. | |
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| So you want a second chance?
Posted: 12/29/2006 12:49:42 AM | What are the odds?
What are the odds of women getting back together with a man that broke up with them?
I broke up with my ex because I thought thats what she wanted and needed. We got together shortly after she got out of an abusive realtionship. It was only a two monther or so but things were great and then one day she was just...not stopping by anymore, she started working more and I guess I started to get angry. Anyway after about 3 weeks of trying to be patient I was confrontational and she divulged that she was trying to spend more time with family (which I thought was a crock) and that if I didn't understand then maybe we shouldn't see each other anymore. She has an upcoming court case with her ex (in the new year) and I was trying to be understanding of these issues she would have to face.
Later I sort of screwed up and went to a party with some friends (because I hadn't seen much of her lately), got drunk and ended up getting cuddled by someone (a girl who I had told some of my situation to)(and I held her hand but no kissing or fondling of any kind) when I decided to pass out on the floor. Not long after I set things straight and she found somewhere else to sleep. Anyway, because we said we would, from the begining, have an honest relationship, even though I thought she wasn't being entirely truthful, I told her the whole truth and nothing but the truth. (My friends said I was crazy for telling her.) She acted as though I had cheated and to a degree I suppose I had. But I said my heartfelt "I'm sorry" and she said she wouldn't forgive me (ever I thought?) so I broke up with her (not believing that I should be found 100% guilty and that she couldn't forgive me). A few days later I crumbled and asked her to come back to me ( bad I know) and she said no. In the days that followed we both contacted each other and it seemed as though some reconcilliation was to follow, but it didn't.
Soon I got the odd 4 in the morning, after work, after drinks, phone call from her and I confess I called her a few times too. (I hadn't yet read the above.) But, it has been a couple of months now since we broke up, with occasional calls back and forth about being friends and the news and the weather. I suppose a small part of me hopes we will get back together when she works her other problems out. Understand, she was very attractive.
I have moved on and things are going well for me other than not dating much and I still wonder if she was the girl I met or the girl I left. Though I may never know and that might be a good thing, I cant help but wonder. What are the stats on this type of breakup? (Guy breaks up with girl, then asks her to come back, she says no, then months later asks him to come back to her.) Any idea? Is this too specific for statistics? (Try saying that out loud  ) Comments. And yes - I am moving on. I hold no hope for said relationship partly because I'm not really sure who I was dating. Peace out. | |
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| So you want a second chance?
Posted: 12/29/2006 3:07:18 AM | hi this is a general reply to everyone.i have got the woman of my life back after a long struggle.it just shows its possible.my story is in broken hearts under the title she wants me she wants me not.im posting this just to give hope to everyone that not all is lost because she wants a break and some space.
have a good new yr everyone | |
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| So you want a second chance?
Posted: 12/29/2006 8:40:52 AM | | EGG2006, (hehe, egg, heh) I read your thread. Your relationship isn't really starting out on the right foot. I think you both need to sit down and talk. Get some communication going and make sure you're on the same page. | |
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| So you want a second chance?
Posted: 12/29/2006 6:15:29 PM | | Thanks... I have been dating a little bit. I live in a small town and it is hard to find someone around here. LOL. I also see my ex around all the time. Part of me thinks someday we will get back together and part of me thinks that if we did I would find something wrong with him and would no longer be interested. And yes I have talked to a counsellor but it didn't really help. Thanks so much. | |
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| So you want a second chance?
Posted: 12/30/2006 10:41:19 PM | | ok, i wrote about my little situation in the broken hearts forums. its under 'can anybody help me?' he wrote me an email a few days ago, saying he still loved us so much. and that he wants to come home. but he also loves her, and he doesnt want to leave her. i am so incredibly confused by all of this. he's been gone for 3 weeks. he hasn't emailed me for a bit now, but thats because they are living in a van now, and have no way to access the internet. and he hasnt called us either. but then i heard from a friend that he said he would rather live in a van then come home, but his new girl was there when he said it. so i'm thinking that he says one thing around her, and then another to me. we have two kids together, and i know he misses them alot. and i know you're advice says not to, but i think aobut him all the time. i'm just constantly wondering if he's thinking of me, if he misses me. there was so much love between us. there was no reason for him to just leave like that. it wasn't planned. we weren't fighting. we were actually talking about futuristic things, like having more kids, and getting married. but now he has a job down there, and he's stopped talking to me. so what do you think, is there any hope for us? and what do you think i should do? | |
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| So you want a second chance?
Posted: 12/31/2006 12:44:08 AM | KittyBit, unfortunately words mean far less than actions. Words by nature can be meant to deceive -- actions never are. Always believe what a person is doing because that tells you where their heart lies.
Right now he is with someone else. Unfortunately you have children together and it makes it hard but you have to RESPECT yourself. Understand you deserve better treatment than this. Trust me, I've been through this as well and it's not fun. It takes a lot of guts to leave someone you love, even if they treat you badly, because you can not control who you love. All you can do is hope and pray they love you in return.
He's not loving you back, at least not the way someone who truly loves you would. If I were you, I would walk away from this man with your dignity in tact. He has made a choice that doesn't seem to include you.
His actions are not those of a man who loves you. I know that hurts, but it is what it is. Accept that he has made this choice and do what you need to do to move on with your life. He isn't pining over you -- he's with someone else. Regardless of what he says or the situation you believe he said it in, he is NOT home with you.
Grieve, do whatever you have to do to get it out of your system but right now the best advice I can give you is to follow the 13 steps outlined in the first post of this thread. That is the quickest way to heal.
No contact, for sure. Begging, pleading, chasing or otherwise clinging to him will only serve to push him away further and keep you down in the dumps much longer than you should be.
Best regards.
J. | |
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| So you want a second chance?
Posted: 1/3/2007 8:08:45 AM | For those finding it tough to have no contact without a goodbye call etc:
One technique popular in counselling is to write a final 'goodbye' letter. Don't ever send this, just write it and then throw it away. I think this might help people who go 'cold turkey' with the non-contact. Closure is important in letting go of relationships (amongst other things).
This is what I mean Jarbarian when I say that the you should scrap the part about the ex coming back if you go with the no contact rule. Most people are only doing it in hopes that the ex will come back and are not really doing the work to get healthy..
To me, this feels like you don't actually get the concept of the 'guide'. In the vast majority of cases, the hope of reconcilliation is simply a crutch that helps people get through the early days of a break up and on the road to a better place. Some people may benefit from the time apart and build a new relationship, but - as has been stated previously - most of the time people will find they are 'better off without x' etc.
You correctly asserted that many people who have posted have seemed desperate. The end of a relationship can be very hard, and even if people are unhappy in a relationship they are often in love with being in love, the butterflies of the past and the dreams of a future together. Sometimes it is not until people have moved on from the love 'addiction' that they actually realise* that things weren't all that great/their ex wasn't actually the most amazing person ever.
However, it's not all a con! If you and your ex find yourself in a circumstance that's conducive to entering a relationship, following the steps outlined here (eg. being happy with yourself and letting go of the hurts in the past relationship) will give you the best chance of making a second chance work.
Life sucks big time when someone you love doesnt love you back....I know...please forget the no contact rule....its really stupid....it manipulative and only means you will get hurt again...
Remeber if you love something set it free......set yourself free as well!!!!
The non-contact rule does allow people to break free of a relationship they are reliant on. Keep in mind that these sort of techniques are designed to give people freedom from their relationship. The fact that moving on and dealing with any issues (like co-dependancy) you may have will help reconcilliation is simply a massive bonus for a guide like this. Why is this a bonus? It makes guides like these easier to follow for people who aren't ready to let go of all hope for reconcilliation.
Just my 2c - varied opinions make life interesting =)
*A great example of this is located earlier in this thread. Someone posted their surprised reaction at finding a journal kept when she was with her ex - her writings revealed that she hadn't actually been that happy, even though she had pined for her ex when they broke up. | |
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| So you want a second chance?
Posted: 1/3/2007 8:42:52 AM | Great post, Sean. Especially the note about keeping a journal and finding out your aren't happy. I remember many details about my relationship with my ex and there were many more "down" days than "up" days. I'm one of those who realizes they are better off.
Maybe I too am in love with the idea of being IN LOVE? Haha. What a poignant statement to make... | |
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| So you want a second chance?
Posted: 1/3/2007 10:14:16 AM | I wrote my ex wife a very short email.
“so long my friend”
She was my friend and it was hard to send her that message. It went right over her head - she still kept calling. I had to stop picking up the phone and tell one of my step daughters (her daughters) to tell her.
She is still my friend in my heart - but I'm done talking to her and finished with missing her.
I am going >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> that way. | |
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| So you want a second chance?
Posted: 1/4/2007 4:41:30 PM | | Can you give me some advice I've been with my ex for about 7 mos. on and off mostly just weekends the last 2 mos. we broke up because I thaught I was pregnant but I'm not. He goes to the bar every night and when he sees me he usually wants me but plays hard to get at first he'll call about every 2 days or when he's drunk. I really do love him but he always hurts me any more we can spend 3 days together then when I leave he changes. I want him but I don't know what to do any more what do I do? | |
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| So you want a second chance?
Posted: 1/4/2007 4:53:04 PM |
Can you give me some advice I've been with my ex for about 7 mos. on and off mostly just weekends the last 2 mos. we broke up because I thaught I was pregnant but I'm not.
So are you telling me the minute he gets you pregnant he decides that he doesn't want to own up to his responsbility? Can you say: LOSER? He sure sounds like one, but let's continue...
He goes to the bar every night
Ok, so far he is irresponsible and now we see he is al alcoholic! LOSER x2.
and when he sees me he usually wants me but plays hard to get at first he'll call about every 2 days or when he's drunk.
This is called being a player. It's when a man decides he wants you just for sex. He's a drunk, he used you. You can't see that? I can see it from here and I am nowhere close to you.
I really do love him
Are you sure? Why do you love him? Why would you want someone in your life like this guy? He's a JERK, a PLAYER and a USER. Don't you deserve better?
but he always hurts me any more we can spend 3 days together then when I leave he changes.
He changes because he feels like he might be losing you, but the minute you come back to him he goes back to his old ways.
I want him but I don't know what to do any more what do I do?
If you're smart.
If you have any sense of self-respect.
If you truly love yourself....
You will RUN AWAY from this guy and forget about him.
Find someone else who truly loves you for who you are, not how much sex you can give him. | |
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| So you want a second chance?
Posted: 1/4/2007 5:02:18 PM | | But he was a great guy when we were together for the first 4 mos. he did everything with me and my boy then we spent 3 days together for new years from sat. to tues. it was great he told me he loved me and everything we went out to eat he didn't drink. Then he went out tues. and said he was confused basicly well yesterday we were suppose to watch the game but he said he was sick so I went down there and found him at the bar talking to a girl so i sat down and talk to one of the guys i work with well he called when he left and said this is why we can't be together because u are with a guy and he was the one touching a girl. | |
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| So you want a second chance?
Posted: 1/4/2007 5:10:01 PM | But he was a great guy when we were together for the first 4 mos.
Exactly. That is how they "hook" you. They know that by being a great guy in the beginning they'll hook you. Once you're hooked they know they can treat you like dog crap and you'll take it because you are going to cling to the hope they will go back to being that good guy in the beginning.
They never, ever do.
He's a player. He used you, clean and clear. If you love and respect yourself you would see that and walk away from him and never look back. He won't change. He will give you the illusion he will but that's just a game to keep you around, not because he loves or respects you. It's clearly obvious he does not.
he did everything with me and my boy then we spent 3 days together for new years from sat. to tues. it was great he told me he loved me and everything we went out to eat he didn't drink. Then he went out tues. and said he was confused basicly well yesterday we were suppose to watch the game but he said he was sick so I went down there and found him at the bar talking to a girl so i sat down and talk to one of the guys i work with well he called when he left and said this is why we can't be together because u are with a guy and he was the one touching a girl.
And you can't see that he is a liar, a drunk, a player and a JERK all rolled up into one?
cowgirl, you really do need to get a grip on yourself, take off the rose colored glasses and see this guy for who he truly is.
A piece of CRAP not worth wasting an ounce of your time on. | |
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| So you want a second chance?
Posted: 1/4/2007 5:10:38 PM | | It's just like he's scared I'm going to do him like his ex of 15 yrs. He has 2 kids who love me to death his 17 yr. old still calls me she's great. We really grew apart when I had to work 7 days a week 14 hr. days and yes i do love him how do i get him back. | |
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| So you want a second chance?
Posted: 1/4/2007 5:19:34 PM |
It's just like he's scared I'm going to do him like his ex of 15 yrs. He has 2 kids who love me to death his 17 yr. old still calls me she's great. We really grew apart when I had to work 7 days a week 14 hr. days and yes i do love him how do i get him back.
You are in complete denial cowgirl. You don't want this guy back unless you enjoy being used and treated like crap, which it sounds like you do.
My advice to you at this point is to GO SEE A PROFESSIONAL COUNSELOR.
They will be better able to help you. You can NOT force someone to love you or come back to you. That is completely out of your control. The only thing you can do is love and respect yourself and you will continue to want this a&&hole in your life until you love and respect yourself.
Please. Go see a professional counselor. I highly recommend it in your situation because you are not thinking rationally at all. | |
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