| So you want a second chance?
Posted: 12/23/2008 2:59:27 PM |
Go DO something. I'm going snowboarding Christmas through Sunday. I plan on doing many face plants in the snow and generally embarrassing myself, but I'm going to have a good time, no matter what :)
good advice, life isnt about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning how to dance in the rain. | |
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| So you want a second chance?
Posted: 1/7/2009 11:34:01 AM | I like that saying "dance in the rain..." because that pretty much sums life up.
Everyone have a good Holiday? | |
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| So you want a second chance?
Posted: 1/30/2009 8:03:26 AM | | Cynderella, that's good stuff. If more people thought that way they'd be a lot happier. | |
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| So you want a second chance?
Posted: 3/26/2009 12:38:37 PM | Concur. Mods need to pin this thread. Used this guide successfully last year and it worked like a charm. I didn't get the second chance I wanted, but it sure as hell went a long way towards getting me healed up and ready to move forward.
Paul ;) | |
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| So you want a second chance?
Posted: 3/29/2009 1:05:56 AM | And Forty, that is the entire point the thread.
Not so much wanting a second chance or getting it, but moving on with your life.
Cheers :) | |
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| So you want a second chance?
Posted: 4/3/2009 5:37:53 PM | | FIRST I WANT TO SAY THANKS FOR THE TOPIC. I HAVE ALWAYS FELT LIKE MEN WERE LIKE BUSES ,IF YOU WAIT 15 MIN. ANOTHER WILL COME AROUND. I BROKE OFF A RELATIONSHIP WITH A MAN I WAS CRAZY ABOUT. THE PERFECT GUY IF I WERE 20 WITCH FELT GREAT AT 40 SOMETHING. IT WAS HARD, BUT I KNEW HE WAS BAD FOR ME. I STARTED DATING SOMEONE WHO WAS JUST THE OPPOSITE . IN THE RELATIONSHIP I LOOKED BACK MANY TIMES THINKING ABOUT THE OTHER GUY. THE NEW GUY, THE GUY I LOVE HAS A JOB THAT COULD TAKE HIM AWAY , MAYBE FOR MONTHS OR YEARS AT A TIME . AT FIRST IT DIDNT BOTH ME MUCH, WE WERE JUST DATING. I FOUND MYSELF CARRING MORE ABOUT HIM, WHEN HE GOT WORD OF HIS NEXT POSIBLE MOVE , 4 YEARS. HE SAID HE DIDNT WANT TO GO THAT FAR AWAY, HE HAS A SON THAT LIVES ABOUT AN HOUR FROM ME. IN THE BACK OF MY MIND I FELT LIKE HE WOULD TAKE THAT JOB, AND I DIDNT WANT TO BE BROKENHEARTED. FROM TALKS OF US FINDING A HOUSE, WE BECAME GROWINGLY DISTANT. I CAN SEE NOW IT WAS ME PUSHING FOR REASSURANCE. I WOULD MAKE UP MY MIND TO JUST BREAK IT OFF, AND STOP CALLING HIM. IF HE CALLED I WOULDNT TALK TO HIM. I KEPT FINDING MYSELF WANTING TO BE WITH HIM. THIS CYCLE PLAYED OUT A FEW TIMES. AFTER EACH TIME I COULD SEE MORE AND MORE HOW MUCH WE LOVED EACH OTHER. SLOWLY HE HAS STOPPED COMMING TO SEE ME. HE ALMOST NEVER CALLS, I CALL HIM. I KNOW HE WAITS FOR MY CALLS, IF I JUST CALL TO SAY HI, HE STRECHES THE CONVERSATION OUT. I ASK HIM IF HE KNEW IT WAS ME CALLING(I KNOW HE HAS CALLER I.D.) SAY YES SO I KNOW HE WANTS TO TALK TO ME. HE HAS EMAILED ME TELL ME HOW MUCH HE LOVES ME AND WILL LOVE ME, AND HOW DEEPLY HE CARES FOR ME, BUT HE NO LONGER LOVES ME ENOUGH TO COMMIT. I KNOW I HELPED PUT HIM IN THAT PLACE. AFTER HIS EMAILS I LET GO AND STARTED TO DATE , CUTING OFF CONTACT WITH HIM. EACH TIME ME AND THIS NEW GUY START TO MOVE CLOSER , SOMETHING WILL HAPPEN THAT WILL HAVE ME AND MY LOVE CONTACTING EACH OTHER. I MET SOMEONE NICE, BUT COULD NEVER HAVE ANYTHING AS LONG AS ...... | |
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| So you want a second chance?
Posted: 4/4/2009 3:34:17 PM | I think we should all keep in mind that just because someone walks away from you doesn't mean there isn't someone better coming along. In fact, quite often we should be thanking God that the ones who walk away aren't in our lives anymore. ...otherwise we might not have met the ONE who was always meant for us.
Cheers! | |
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| So you want a second chance?
Posted: 4/5/2009 10:08:12 PM | I hate to sound harsh and im not sure how old u are but I am 42. And what I can tell you is that he met someone else. Sure he cried because he will miss you and he probably also cried in part for being such a lying**** But trust me honey, guys dont just up and one day when everything is still perfect and decide its time to move on out of the blue with NO warning signs. I know this is hard to hear and you wont/dont want to believe it but trust me, I would bet my most prise possesion on it 100%.
Good thing is, once he realizes that all the other girl was is just some lustful sex or what not, he WILL come crawling back. That you can mark my words on. DO NOT CALL HIM, DO NOT TRY TO CONTACT HIM OR SHOW HIM YOU WEAKNESS RIGHT NOW IN ANY WAY trust me, I know! Give it time, and if you still want him back (which I would NOT) then you can make your choice...
good luck, from someone who know... | |
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| So you want a second chance? to brazilianhottie
Posted: 4/6/2009 11:10:54 AM |
And Forty, that is the entire point the thread.
Not so much wanting a second chance or getting it, but moving on with your life.
Cheers :)
Yeppers. I've shared this thread with a lot of my friends who are going through the wringer right now (is it something in the water?). I let them know the title is a bit misleading...it was written to help THEM get better. You have a lot of fans outside of POF with this thread Jarbarian.
Hey, mods. Pin this thread already.
Paul ;) | |
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| So you want a second chance? to brazilianhottie
Posted: 4/6/2009 1:56:16 PM | ^^^^I couldn't disagree more.
At the risk of seeming like a real b1tch, this thread seems like nothing more than a vanity publication by it's author (sorry), who shamelessly bumps it repeatedly (isn't that against the rules here??). There is more pseudo counseling going on here than I can possibly note. It can't decide what it is half the time . . It's a way to get them back, no it's a way to move on, no it's a way to get them back . . .
It has counseling gems like . . . {drum roll please} . . . The No Contact Rule! You mean when someone throws you to the curb, you shouldn't call them five time a day? I had no idea??
It's just one constant crying fest with no real point, as far as I can see, except for amateur counseling and whining.
I'll let the beating (of me) begin now! | |
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| So you want a second chance? to brazilianhottie
Posted: 4/7/2009 10:43:04 PM | I HAVE BROKEN A FEW HEARTS , AND HAD MINE BROKEN A FEW TOO. ALL I CAN SAY FOR US STILL IN PAIN, I WAS ABLE TO AIR OUT MY BROKEN HEART, AND THAT TOOK ME ONE STEP CLOSER TO BEING HAPPY AGAIN. IF THIS HELPS ONE MORE PERSON IN PAIN THAN IT IS WORTH IT TO CONTINUE. I WOULD JUST LIKE TO SAY THANK YOU TO JARBARIAN,  | |
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| So you want a second chance?
Posted: 4/8/2009 5:36:58 AM | | Okay....so what if you have already done the opposite of everything you have just said and were pycho, clingy,vindictive,stalking,pathetic, and every bad thing a broken hearted ex can do? Could there still be hope for a second chance? I have never loved like this before, I have been left completely hollow. Also how do you cut all contact if you share a phone bill? Should I tell her She should get her own line? I'm afraid if I do that that's it. I have nothing else of her but it is torture seeing who she calls every day. Please help me? She thinks I have a personality disorder. What can I say to make her not hate me? She said she still wanted to be friends but she wasn't treating me like a friend that's why I became hateful and mean. Please how do I reverse what I have done? | |
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| So you want a second chance?
Posted: 4/8/2009 7:05:18 AM |
(Msg 1268) I have never loved like this before, I have been left completely hollow.
I bet if you switch "teams" the multitude of suitors would take your mind of her.  | |
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| So you want a second chance?
Posted: 4/8/2009 7:30:21 AM | Sorry Hun,
been there done that not interested..but thanks for the comp. just the same lol.. ;~D | |
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| So you want a second chance? to brazilianhottie
Posted: 4/8/2009 10:51:08 PM |
Yeppers. I've shared this thread with a lot of my friends who are going through the wringer right now (is it something in the water?). I let them know the title is a bit misleading...it was written to help THEM get better. You have a lot of fans outside of POF with this thread Jarbarian.
You're welcome, my friend!
Chin up, moving on :) | |
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| So you want a second chance?
Posted: 4/8/2009 10:56:35 PM |
Okay....so what if you have already done the opposite of everything you have just said and were pycho, clingy,vindictive,stalking,pathetic, and every bad thing a broken hearted ex can do? Could there still be hope for a second chance? I have never loved like this before, I have been left completely hollow. Also how do you cut all contact if you share a phone bill? Should I tell her She should get her own line? I'm afraid if I do that that's it. I have nothing else of her but it is torture seeing who she calls every day. Please help me? She thinks I have a personality disorder. What can I say to make her not hate me? She said she still wanted to be friends but she wasn't treating me like a friend that's why I became hateful and mean. Please how do I reverse what I have done?
Well no, you can't reverse what you've done. Once you've labeled yourself with an ex, it's really difficult, if not impossible, to change their perception. That is why many people suggest No Contact. It gives you time to rebuild your confidence and self-esteem and gives your ex time to miss you.
There's no guarantee an ex will come back. If it happens, it usually happens on it's own after significant amount of NC. The longer you try to maintain contact, the more damage you cause.
All I can tell you is you need to stick to the guide. Not to win anyone back, but to heal and move on. | |
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| So you want a second chance?
Posted: 4/8/2009 11:35:11 PM |
It gives you time to rebuild your confidence and self-esteem and gives your ex time to miss you.
Exactly, some people don't realise what they have got until it is gone. | |
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| So you want a second chance?
Posted: 4/9/2009 12:01:04 AM | 10 years, three kids and she is done. Unhappy for a few years settling on crumbs in the relationship. No longer an emotional connection. Life and schedules got in the way, times got tough with the economy and we couldn't recognize it in time to take the proper steps to fix it. Not interested in counseling, is numb to me, & acts like this is easy for her. She no longer sees a future together. Apparently my problem is that I was ok with the way things were. (no connection) she has moved on in her mind. We have to share same house till finances change. I have to deal with a broken-heart and let her go but put on the game face for the kids! Tough road to hall!! Is this selfish, is she acting solely emotionally and not rationally. Do I act like we are divorced and let her go, is this a wall and her way of moving on, by being numb to me. Is the grass greener? She knows were I stand and that I am willing to do what it takes. I want to quite chasing and convincing. I wanted to fight for us! I guess I should let this run it's course. Let the distance help heal. Easy to say as she rides this new found emotional high and gains confidence outside our marriage.. ( I want to know everything she does but I know it's not healthy)
SOS!! | |
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| So you want a second chance?
Posted: 4/9/2009 3:15:29 AM | | I don;t do second chances. In all my relationships but one I was the breaker, they are ex lovers/girlfriends for a clear and determined reason and they will remain so for that reason. I am friends with some of them now but I would never get romantic with them ever again. | |
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