| WHAT'S YOUR BEST ONE LINER JOKE...AND BE RUDE AND CRUDE?
Posted: 2/16/2005 12:53:39 AM | So Jesus walks into a hotel, hands the clerk three nails and says: "Could you put me up for the night?"
How do you stop a Racist from drowning? You take your foot off his face!
Four nuns die at the same time and get to St-Peter's gate. St-peter tells them they have to wash away their sins in this basin before they enter Heaven. The first nun washes her head and tells him she'd thought many sinful things. The second washes her hands and says she touched a man in a sinful manner. The fourth pushes the third out of the way and tells St- Peter:
"HEY! I want to wash my mouth before the third washes her a$$!!!" | |
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| WHAT'S YOUR BEST ONE LINER JOKE...AND BE RUDE AND CRUDE?
Posted: 2/16/2005 12:57:42 AM | What's the difference between Jesus and an oil painting?
It only takes one nail to put up a painting
RUDE AND CRUDE ENOUGH FOR YA!!!!
if you want sexist and racist jokes, just ask and name the sexe and name th race and i've gottem all - yes even White jokes and man jokes. | |
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| WHAT'S YOUR BEST ONE LINER JOKE...AND BE RUDE AND CRUDE?
Posted: 2/16/2005 4:38:43 PM | *A three legged dog walked into the saloon and said "I'm looking for the man who shot my PAW!"
*A termite walks into the pub and asks: "Is the bar tender here?"
*"See that guy, Quasimodo?" "I don't know the name, but his face rings a bell!" | |
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| WHAT'S YOUR BEST ONE LINER JOKE...AND BE RUDE AND CRUDE?
Posted: 2/18/2005 5:33:42 AM | What is a Russian mans best dream?
To live in Russia
Eat European Food
Drink French Wine
Earn American wages
Be married to a Russian woman
What is his worst nightmare?
To live in Russia
Earn Russian Wages
Eat English Food
Drink Romanian Wine
Be married to an American women
I got this off another forum thought you may like this | |
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| WHAT'S YOUR BEST ONE LINER JOKE...AND BE RUDE AND CRUDE?
Posted: 2/20/2005 12:00:46 PM | Ha ha I have a few..One time when I was in college, my instructor took us outside on an astonomy lesson. he pointed skyward and said " There's Polaris, also referred to as the North Star".
It was dark out, so I said.." Nah those are street lights you are pointing at!"
Had to be there I guess. The whole class cracked up. He did as well. | |
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| WHAT'S YOUR BEST ONE LINER JOKE...AND BE RUDE AND CRUDE?
Posted: 2/21/2005 1:54:16 AM | Q: What do you tell a woman with two black eye's?
A: Nothin, she's already been told twice.
woman #1: Last week, the new neighbor said he wanted to eat my ****!
woman #2: And now your cat is missing?
Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two. One to screw it in , and one to brag about the "Screwing" part.
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| WHAT'S YOUR BEST ONE LINER JOKE...AND BE RUDE AND CRUDE?
Posted: 2/21/2005 2:34:35 AM | A man goes to a local bar and picks up an 80 year old woman. They go back to his place where they proceed to get it on. During lovemaking, he keeps squeezing and sucking on her breasts and tasting some sort of liquid. This piques his curiosity, causing the following exchange to occur:
"Wow, you're 80 years old. Are you pregnant?"
"No, cancer." | |
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| WHAT'S YOUR BEST ONE LINER JOKE...AND BE RUDE AND CRUDE?
Posted: 2/21/2005 3:16:11 AM | | A man goes down to a pub for an evening of merryment. As the night progresses he meets a woman, plays the usual games, and ends up back at her house. As they are going in he says, "I have to warn you I'm into some pretty kinky stuff" The women suprised replies, "Well, than your in luck, give me just a minute," she leaves and goes into her bedroom. She returns decked out in full BDSM gear, but she sees that the man is leaving, "What's the matter?" she asks. "Lady" he replies, "I just took a crap in your purse and screwed your dog, I'm out." | |
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| WHAT'S YOUR BEST ONE LINER JOKE...AND BE RUDE AND CRUDE?
Posted: 2/21/2005 3:23:20 AM | an old man and old woman are getting ready for bed.
the old man, laying in bed, sees his wife come rushing out of the bathroom.
"SUPER ****!!!!" she yells as she flings open her bathrobe.
Thoughtfully the old man says "I'll have the soup" | |
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| WHAT'S YOUR BEST ONE LINER JOKE...AND BE RUDE AND CRUDE?
Posted: 2/21/2005 3:40:52 AM | scott ya got it right...it's i sh*tin your purse and ****ed your dog.
so much of that joke is missing. i apologize on scott's behalf.
keep it up boy and i'll snap you down to sargeant so fast it'll make your head spin! | |
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| WHAT'S YOUR BEST ONE LINER JOKE...AND BE RUDE AND CRUDE?
Posted: 2/21/2005 9:29:18 AM | Ole and Lena strike back at technology...
Oh that Ole!!
OLE & LENA ARE VACATIONING AT A POSH RESORT IN DULUTH. OLE GOES INTO THE SAUNA WHERE TWO FOREIGN BUSINESSMEN WERE SITTING NAKED. SUDDENLY THERE WAS A BEEPING SOUND. THE GERMAN PRESSED HIS FOREARM AND THE BEEP STOPPED. OLE LOOKED AT HIM QUESTIONNINGLY. "THAT WAS MY PAGER," HE SAID. "I HAVE A MICROCHIP UNDER THE SKIN OF MY ARM."
A FEW MINUTES LATER, A PHONE RANG. THE JAPANESE FELLOW LIFTED HIS PALM TO HIS EAR. WHEN HE FINISHED HE EXPLAINED, "THAT WAS MY MOBILE PHONE. I HAVE A MICROCHIP IN MY HAND."
OLE FELT DECIDELY LOW-TECH. NOT TO BE OUTDONE, HE DECIDED HE HAD TO DO SOMETHING JUST AS IMPRESSIVE. HE STEPPED OUT OF THE SAUNA AND WENT TO THE BATHROOM. HE RETURNED A FEW MINUTES LATER WITH A PIECE OF TOILET PAPER HANGING FROM HIS BEHIND. THE OTHERS RAISED THEIR EYEBROWS AND STARED AT HIM OLE FINALLY SAID? "VELL, BY GOLLY, VILL YA LOOK AT DAT! I'M GETTING A FAX!" | |
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| WHAT'S YOUR BEST ONE LINER JOKE...AND BE RUDE AND CRUDE?
Posted: 2/21/2005 10:29:11 AM | okay before i even tell u the joke im going to let u know its disgusting and disturbing and when wes told it to me i wouldnt talk to him anymore
How do u piss a 6 year old off twice?
Wipe ur bloody****on her teddy bear | |
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| WHAT'S YOUR BEST ONE LINER JOKE...AND BE RUDE AND CRUDE?
Posted: 2/23/2005 11:15:15 AM | Here you go...some of my own...
Did you hear about the leper colony that had to cancel the hocky game..? Yeah, they had a face off in the corner.
What do you call a dog with no back legs..nuttin, it won't come to you anyway...
Why do Canadians do it Doggy style...
SO everybody can watch the hockey game..
Did you hear about the Polock family that died of starvation at the local drive in ?
Yup they went to see CLOSED FOR THE SEASON
How many misquitos does it take to screw in a light bulb....?
Two and I have seen it..BUT for the life of me I can't figure out how they got inside the glass..
Why are women and jello so much alike?
they both wiggle when you eat them
did you hear about the two nuns that slept with each other...
They took turns playing hymms
What has 4 legs and eats ants...
A couple of Uncles | |
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