| when girls say they need space
Posted: 3/24/2006 4:16:34 PM | | The fact that she's not communicating with you at all is the giveaway. Either you telegraphed what was coming, or a 'friend' let her know. She probably knew about your plans to ask her to marry her. She is looking (desperately, I bet) for a way out of this situation. Sorry, dude. | |
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| when girls say they need space
Posted: 3/24/2006 4:21:09 PM | | Her interest level is on the decline. The only hope to save the relationship is for you to disappear for at least 6 weeks. No words can help - only absence. | |
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| when girls say they need space
Posted: 3/24/2006 4:38:54 PM | | her feelings are changing and it sounds like a nice way to say she wants out..thats my take on it..good luck.... | |
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| when girls say they need space
Posted: 3/24/2006 4:39:18 PM | | A relationship is like a job..think of the women as your boss she is not happy with your work right now and she is laying you off. she may call you back to work some day but she may lay you off again and then eventually she will fire you. So what you have to to do is be a man accept the lay off and look for another job then if she calls you back to work you will have the choice to go back to your old job or stick with the new one. If you don't have a new job by the time she calls you back to work you may need to go back to the old job, but make sure she hasent outsourced your work in the mean time. | |
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| when girls say they need space
Posted: 3/24/2006 4:42:15 PM | bring the diamond here honey,,im free,shows you my finger!! sorry love..get your money back and grieve then go and have fun..waves good luck | |
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| when girls say they need space
Posted: 3/24/2006 4:58:06 PM | | lol sooo in a nut shell.. its prett much over and done with im guessing.. judging by the amount of rplys i have gotten | |
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| when girls say they need space
Posted: 3/24/2006 5:02:19 PM |
lol sooo in a nut shell.. its prett much over and done with im guessing.. judging by the amount of rplys i have gotten
That's the general consensus. It's up to you to decide what you want to do. Just know that if you don't give her space, she will most assuredly break up with you. If you do give her the space she wants, there's a *ever so slight* chance she could change her mind. If you really love her, give her the space.
Again, read my thread on second chances. Hopefully you will find some of the information useful to you. | |
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| when girls say they need space
Posted: 3/24/2006 7:38:27 PM | Sorry dude, it IS over. Take back the ring. As little of a "bright side" as it is, at least you didn't waste all that money on her.
And for your own mental health, stop trying to contact her. And if she comes back, don't take her back. You might love her, but this is NOT the woman you want to be with - guaranteed. | |
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| when girls say they need space
Posted: 3/24/2006 9:00:49 PM | Just to clear things up, when she said she needed space she was dumping you...
If someone else said that it could actually mean they need space so don't automaticaly think you are getting the boot everytime someone says that
For instance
If a girl has been through a traumatic event she may need space
If the girl is stressed out over school or work she may need space
If something is going on in her life and you know about it and she asks for space then give it to her and just leave her alone
My point is that none of us are in another persons head and we cant say what is going on so basicaly dont trust us all the time | |
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| when girls say they need space
Posted: 3/24/2006 9:14:05 PM | yes, she has broken up with you but was trying to do it easy.
usually, when a girl says she needs space, it means the relationship is over and she's already moved on, possibly already likes another guy.
sorry dude! bad form for her to do it via email, that's just lazy! | |
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| when girls say they need space
Posted: 3/25/2006 2:18:03 AM | Although you may feel hurt and confused, I would not automatically assume that she is dumping you or playing games. Maybe she really does need some space to think things over. I would take her words at face value, especially if ya'll already had a serious relationship, talking about marriage and all.
I like the examples that Kkat posted. Sometimes, there can be really good reason(s) to take a step back, reevaluate, cool off, whatever, especially considering that marriage is usually considered for the rest of your life! There have been occasions when I have personallly said that I needed some space, and that was exactly what I meant. In one particular situation, I did not mean forever, necessarily, but I did need some time and space to "collect my thoughts" and "regroup." In that situation, I felt very hurt by something the other person did, and I needed some time to cool off to figure out how to rationally, assertively and lovingly deal with it, without making it worse. The other person assumed the worst, and it went downhill from there. Had I just been given some time (i.e., space - not for a too long period of time), things might have worked out differently. But, they didn't, and so here I am.
I consider her doing it by e-mail, though, to be a sign of fear -- fear of not wanting to hurt you, a confrontation, feel more pressure by you, whatever ... I don't know. It can also be judged as cowardly, but in a love relationship, judging someone will probably not be helpful.
Maybe her saying that her feelings are not as strong as they once were is also a sign of fear. Sometimes, when it dawns on people how deep they've gotten into a relationship, and they may not be quite ready, they may pull back a little or a lot. It just depends. It's kind of like a rubber band that will eventually snap back, or a pendulum swinging from one pole to another.
If it were me, I would leave a birthday card for her, with a handwritten letter, telling her what you had intended to do (propose) and that you respect her wishes, will wait, but she cannot expect for you to wait forever. The strength of your love bond is being tested! If you immediately "move on," then I venture to say that you were not really ready or in love with her. I'm not suggesting that you wait and pine forever. I do suggest you put a time limit on the "space" deal, though.
I sympathize with you about this situation. Personally, if it were me, I would feel devastated. I'm sure you went to a lot of time and trouble to get a ring for her, had your expectations all built up and - WHAM! - What a blow!
I wrote so much in this post, because like was said before, you can't read someone else's mind. She may or may not be for real. I would give her some benefit of the doubt, though.
What is ironic to me is that this is not just a gender (woman) issue. Men do this, too!
For that matter, some people need more space than others, while others prefer more closeness. Unfortunately, there can be a problem when one person feels the need for closeness, when the other feels the need for more space (e.g., being out of sync).
I don't know if this was helpful to you or not ... I'm just making guesses and hoping to offer that there may be other ways to view this situation.
Good luck to you, and ... Happy Birthday to whoever she is. | |
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| when girls say they need space
Posted: 3/25/2006 2:40:23 AM | I think we all need space to get are thoughts together. Sometimes we don't understand why...but it happens. But i wouldnt wait to long for one of us to make are mind up and get are thoughts together.
Good Luck !
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| when girls say they need space
Posted: 3/25/2006 7:49:48 AM | it doesn't matter if it's a girl or guy who says they "need space". it's a horseshit breakup excuse.
now someone who actually "needs space" wouldn't state it like that. they would actually address the reasons why they want separation from the relationship. that's what emotionally mature people do.
basically anyone who lists as breakup reason #1 "i need space" is emotionally immature. they don't really know what they want. often what they value is unattainable.
leave this person, never call them again. if they come back, remind them their request and give them space. people aren't disposable. that's how the "i need my space" person views others. they're definitely "not into you" (another tired expression), but they are totally into themselves.
if anyone has heard that bullshit breakup excuse and is back with that person in a substantial relationship, fess up. it never happens. it's best to cut that jackass loose. | |
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| when girls say they need space
Posted: 3/25/2006 8:13:48 AM | None of us but you know this girl, so, giving her the benifit of the doubt maybe what she really does need is time. Maybe SHE'S confused, which it seems. She's cut you out of her life to see if she'll miss you. You don't know what you had until you've lost it.
Respect her decision, give her the space she wants. On your part, don't hold your breath. Take this time to figure things out as well. Grab a pint and keep your eyes open. Could be an omen. | |
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| when girls say they need space
Posted: 3/25/2006 9:14:38 AM | There is nothing wrong with needing space to figure out a relationship and how committed you are to it. But if that space of time spans beyond a couple of days with no word, odds are she’s over you, wants you to move on and is too much of a coward to come right out and say so.
If she cared about you, she can have her space and still keep the lines of communication open. If she cared about you, no matter how much space she asks you for, she would still want you in her life in some form or other.
The fact that she cut all of that means what pretty much everybody else has said about her, she’s not that into you and probably has already moved on.
She might change her mind at a later date, but know that she’s probably testing the waters with some other guy or guys to see what develops before she came back to you. If you can accept that, than o.k.
As for me, I wouldn’t waste my time waiting. Close that door and open a new one to someone else. Women can be so fickle...lol | |
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cee4
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Joined: 1/12/2006
Msg: 41 | |
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| when girls say they need space
Posted: 3/25/2006 12:42:27 PM | What she is saying is you distract her thought process and she needs to
re evaluate in her own mind a certain decision. Or she is feeling crowded
your pushin too hard my fishy friend, respect her request means you respect her choises free and clear without manipulation. Good luck.
That fishy is a boundry and she set it down for you NOT to cross. | |
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| when girls say they need space
Posted: 3/25/2006 12:45:02 PM | Hi,
Women say this when they NEED space. Meaning leave me alone until I contact you. She is trying to be polite. If she truely disliked you she wouldnt even give you that. Leave them alone and they come home wagging their tails behind them. In the meantime dont pine.
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| when girls say they need space
Posted: 3/25/2006 7:48:50 PM | | She is telling you that you may not be 'the one'. She likes you and such but not for a life-time sentence. She told you....now listen! | |
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| when girls say they need space
Posted: 3/25/2006 8:06:03 PM | | It means it's over. There are some things that she hasn't told you but I think you get the picture. I say give her permenant space. IN fact I would never call her again. I say that you should be powerful. | |
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| when girls say they need space
Posted: 3/26/2006 5:30:32 AM | | Tell her why do you really want space? Are you tired or me and want to date others too? Do not be her fool and fall back guy. Case closed. | |
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| when girls say they need space
Posted: 3/26/2006 5:51:30 AM | | sometimes a girl needs some time on her own to think...sometimes its the kindest thing a girl could say to a guy....if you look at it this way..at least she then can tell u honestly what she wants...and for you to be able to move on! | |
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| when girls say they need space
Posted: 3/26/2006 6:02:43 AM | I think what she is saying is..she wants to be a single individual for right now..perhaps to improve herself on the best she can be..
Not being your girlfriend or being known as..so and so's gf..but as her individual status as a human being...growing emotionally..clearing stuff in her head..she needs to emotionally detach from all things and come to a complete inner understanding of herself..
I hate to say it..but sometimes we all have to go through a growth spurt..spiritually..emotionally..and if that is what she needs to do...don't force the situation..this is her wake up call for emotional stability..Allow her the freedom to grow... | |
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| when girls say they need space
Posted: 3/26/2006 1:04:53 PM | see I can totaly respect that she wants space etc.. but for me it just came out of the blue.. but it probaly didnt for her.. my thing is.. I really love this woman alot.. bu tlast May she broke up with me and we got back togther in oct...now what Im just not getting is.. if her feelings started disapating again.. like they did last may.. why couldnt she just come straight out and say we are over.. instead of this space stuff... now mind you.. it was a really rough last month and her uncle died last week.. even though she said she wasnt close to him at all.. it made her start thinking alot about life
so my question is.. in a nutshell.. if her feelings are dispating again.. just break up with me.. not tell me space right? | |
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