| when girls say they need space
Posted: 4/11/2006 12:02:12 PM | "I Need Space" is secret code for "Get Thy Ass Down That Road Damn Spot and Don't Come Back." The fact that she told you this in an email is complete bullsh1t and you DON'T deserve it. And even if she DOES come back the TRUST element is BLOWN to hell and is not easily regained. these other people are mostly right here. Don't take her back ever and if she ever contacts you again you can tell her those special 3 words that every guy has to say once in their relationships to any girl that does them wrong...and im not talkin "i love you" either, im talkin "go to hell." i live by a simple rule and any chick that breaks it is GONE! "Screw me once, your bad. Screw me twice, my bad!" good luck and keep your chin up and get the cash back from that ring cuz im sure you spent at least 2 grand and thats 2 grand that you could use to pay off some payments on a car, or house payment, or rent or...buy yourself a bigscreen HD TV :D.  | |
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| when girls say they need space
Posted: 4/11/2006 12:03:12 PM | Plain and simple...when a girl says she needs space...She's saying:
I DON'T WANT TO BE WITH YOU ANYMORE!
She's just too much of a coward to be honest...instead, she's making you have to come on the site to try and figure out what the hell she meant by her email. Why can't people just say what they mean? Mind games...I hate those! You need to find someone who knows themselves and won't jerk you around because they're 'not sure'...boloni! It's called...she needs to grow up and stop screwing with you! Tell it like it is... | |
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| when girls say they need space
Posted: 4/11/2006 12:36:20 PM | | Hi, in my opinion it can go either way sometimes being apart is better for the relationship, spending 24/7 together it can drive anyone nuts, everyone needs time to themselves. Or it could mean that also that she is looking for different options. I'm not to good on this subject, but I hope this helps. | |
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| when girls say they need space
Posted: 4/11/2006 12:38:06 PM |
Plain and simple...when a girl says she needs space...She's saying:
I DON'T WANT TO BE WITH YOU ANYMORE!
Well, that plus the restraining order..... | |
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| when girls say they need space
Posted: 4/11/2006 12:58:00 PM | Hi, I think if you have become far enough in the relationship to be wanting to marry this young woman, then if the trust and respect is in order from both sides then she also needs to respect your feelings as well. That is why it is called a partnership. People who need time to think or take care of some things then that is fine. But what you need to do is come from your angle so as you can respect yourself as well. Think about how you will do it. Phone call, the least. Better in person. FACE to FACE.
Let her know that that you respect that she needs space but you also have your feelings about things as well and that you both need to agree on a certain time. Otherwise it is way to hard for you not knowing what will be the outcome and she actually is controlling the situation. First place you have a right to a phone call or meeting, set your standards HIGH. Just explain to her that you need to know where things are within the relationship. The other opinions on this thread are fine, this is my opinion. I think this is much healthier, mature, and no game playing is going on. Put your cards on the table and lay things out. If she refuses to agree on a time with you and wishes to control the situation totally I would think you may choose to go with your gut and see some red flags waving as this could be part of what is to come. Healthy relationships are where two people are able to be honest and open and communicative. If one of you cuts that off, it's toxic. If she wants to actually break it off, then so be it, then you can move on. The other thing is perhaps she doesn't, maybe she does need time to think abit. That can be a very good quality, but she needs to look after and care for your feelings too.
Entirety | |
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| when girls say they need space
Posted: 4/11/2006 1:09:10 PM | It’s good to hear other’s perspectives but no one knows the situation better than your self. It’s possible she may want to break-up but it’s also very possible she may just want some space. Hearts are for sharing and sometimes if you give too much away to fast there is no longer any room left to grow. Be honest with her and be honest with yourself. Respect her needs for space and during that time, find something you enjoy doing and do allot of it.
Respect each other’s needs and ask yourself if this is something you are willing to deal with. If it is, learn and grow together. If not, find someone more compatible. | |
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| when girls say they need space
Posted: 4/12/2006 10:45:53 PM | k maybe i should clear a few facts up , YES we were married for 6 yrs+. We've been having issues & being in a small town rumours fly.....anyways she tricked me into being outta the house at a party where she was suppose to meet me at, to come home & find out that she was all moved out, all she said was she needed some time & space.....
So yes we are/were married..still are not divorced yet
so I guess that makes us seperated..no restrianing order he he he
SO where's that leave me then?? Sitting around waiting for her to figure shit out...like man walking away froma marriage & all you say is I need some time & space.... | |
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| when girls say they need space
Posted: 4/12/2006 11:44:25 PM | | It's a woman's way of saying IT'S OVER but they say it that way. Adios Amigo ! time to move on and don't waste any sleep over it. There are many more out there that may have some room in there space for you. | |
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| when girls say they need space
Posted: 4/13/2006 12:05:18 AM | talk about a cliche. Look, she said something that screamed, "cliche"...i mean, seriously, wtf? Look, go 'date' someone else. You obviously enjoy the serial monogamy, and she does too. If you live by the rules, you die by the rules.
I'm sure she's read "he's just not that into you" as well as "The Rules"...and possibly the "Ladder Theory"...i mean, the 'chemistry' thing is a really simple concept.
I'm not going to give you my personal opinion of this stuff, i just answered what was asked. | |
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| when girls say they need space
Posted: 4/13/2006 12:17:20 AM | Well to be very honest with you, I did say the same thing to my confirm ex. Wow. Funny huh? Well here is the thing. I told my ex that i needed time out from him and he assume that I broke up with him. The reason I said that is because he had alot of things to take care of his personal life that was taking both of us down. For example his exwife and son that came down to visit him. He took all his time working for them and I understand that but aleast give me some attention here cause I am the one that loved him with all my heart but I guess he was still stuck with the ex wife thing. So the point that I was trying to say is that you need to let your girl tell you in her own words if it is over or not. Maybe she has something going on with her personal life that she need to take care. So write her back and tell her if its over or not. OMG. What do you have to loose in it. There are still plenty of fish out there for you but the thing is use the right hook.
Peace Out,
Kini | |
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| when girls say they need space
Posted: 4/13/2006 12:22:23 AM | maybe you were his rebound? maybe he heard what he wanted to hear, and if you speak in cliches, how can that be interpreted as anything but playing by the rules of the chemistry game? I mean, if he knew you loved him then he would have spent at least some time with you during this for some support.
If i read it right, it was "bringing you both down"...was that because of his lack of seeking support from you, or because he knew you didn't want to get involved in something he should have taken care of himself? Just making assumptions here, since i'm not sure why you thought your rebound should have asked you plainly, "is it over or not?" | |
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| when girls say they need space
Posted: 4/13/2006 3:01:54 AM | | Ewww....harsh, via email??? Tacky. That's nearly as bad as via a post-it note. I hate to admit this, but I've needed my space ~ and it wasn't a good thing. It wasn't OUR space being used by me for a little while, it was MY space. Intended to remain MY space. And eventually, MY space turned into OUR space with someone else. Gezzz...we can be such cowards when we really don't want to be brutally honest. (BTW ~ poetic justice: someone needed THEIR space several years ago in my life....it all comes around! *wink*) | |
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| when girls say they need space
Posted: 4/13/2006 5:02:17 AM | In the bigger picture, isn't this just defining the incorrect notion that people have where once they become a couple they expect each individual to die as an individual and meld into this one "coupled person"? I mean, if I start dating someone, do I suddenly have to like sushi, or ballet? And would she necessarily have to start watching woodworking demos with me?
It's a sad statement about society today that people are so desperate to find someone to share life with that once they find that person the tendency is to smother them. Personally, I simply can't spend every second with ANYbody. Man, you leave a room for 45 seconds and you hear "What are you doing?"
Yet another reason I am terminally single..... | |
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| when girls say they need space
Posted: 4/13/2006 5:19:03 AM | | gonna go way out on a limb here and guess that it means that the girl needs space. no dating manuals or online polls involved. the key to a solid relationship is communication so ask for clarification and talk things over with your girl. | |
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| when girls say they need space
Posted: 4/13/2006 6:08:39 AM | ~cabana~ You probably have a valid point here. We do become entirely obsessive with what someone means behind what they actually say. Maybe she does just want a little "space." To me, that is a weird way to say "look, I'd like some alone time" or "hey, we've been together so much that I need a little time for myself" but, who knows, maybe she has trouble formulating sentences that bluntly/honestly state what she really means. Needing space, in date-bonics means "hey, I'm outta here....don't follow me....don't call me....don't email....and if and when I get the urge to do any of those things, it will be at 4 a.m. after too many beers and no one looking good enough to catch my beer-googled eye!" Unfortunately, in date-speak, sometimes we do shelter those we (once) care(d) about from the hurtful truth that we'd like to move on, not necessarily to someone better, just to someone new.  | |
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| when girls say they need space
Posted: 4/13/2006 6:33:33 AM | | MWH, let me tell you about the POWER OF INDIFFERENCE. Basically she is trying to get rid of you but she lacks the cajones to be upfront with you. Now, let me say that if you act like you don't care either way (indifferent) she will be back to you sooner than you think (her type is pretty predictable). Now with that said, do you really want to be with an individual who behaves that way? | |
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daisie
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Joined: 9/22/2004
Msg: 142 | |
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R M
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Joined: 2/19/2006
Msg: 144 | |
| when girls say they need space
Posted: 4/13/2006 8:02:06 AM | | It is so simple and it is the same like when a man needs his space..Done,I have someone else in mind.Move on and keep fishing..She wasn't decent enough to say it to your face.Don't give her control over your life..she will play this game all the time with you{if you can't handle it,you should leave..}Wow,where does some people get that much control over others?..Good luck.. | |
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| when girls say they need space
Posted: 4/13/2006 8:14:46 AM | | Well it means that to me if they wanna they can call back or return but under there own conditions . FEMALES ARE PEOPLE ALSO . I would rather give some one space then have them in my face | |
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| when girls say they need space
Posted: 4/13/2006 8:16:22 AM | | What a wild sence of humor Daisy I like that where is Sunny Texas may I ask I live in The Silsbee Space LOL | |
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| when girls say they need space
Posted: 4/13/2006 9:27:14 AM | Hi, no offense but that isn't right, don't wait for her, because if she has to trick you so she can leave without an explanation, then tell you all I need is time and space, She, no offense to anyone, is afraid to tell the real reason why she left, I'm mean you were married at least you deserve to know the truth about why she left. I would just move on even though its not an easy thing to do mabye down the road she'll tell you the real reason why she left. Hope this helps, Best of luck  | |
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| when girls say they need space
Posted: 4/13/2006 12:05:48 PM | | Its a game that shouldnt be played period. When I tell a guy I need space, I tell him that I love him ,not dumping him and that I just need to think somethings through. I had a guy tell me that and he ended up sleeping with someone else and then breaking it off with me. So, I guess I can understand where you are coming from. You are not wrong for feeling the way you are feeling. Just leave her....she's messing with your head and testing you. Testing,,hmm I dont know how I feel about that but,,,,I dont know. Its messed up ,,,,I am just sharing my thoughts. I wish you the best. I enjoyed reading everyone else's posts. | |
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MarkCK
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Joined: 9/24/2005
Msg: 150 | |
| when girls say they need space
Posted: 4/13/2006 12:11:50 PM | I think she's on the brink of walking away best thing to do is igve her space, or even end it.
She might like it deep down if you end it, because people, everyone, wants what they havn't got. Whats to want, if you've already got it?
But don't go on that anything goes !! | |
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