| | when girls say they need spacePage 7 of 9 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9) | | Hi, I agree, to be honest who really knows what the meaning of I just need some space, no offense to anyone, Basically I mean there are so many answers for that question, I guess in my opinion, it depends on the situation.=) | |
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| when girls say they need space
Posted: 4/15/2006 10:42:01 AM | Hey there darlin'
It sounds to me like she is getting ready to break up with you....and quite honestly
I find it very upsetting when women (and men) string yah along while they make up
thier minds and/or look for someone else.
My advice to you would be to move on.......do you really want to be with someone who
could make you feel that way deliberately? I hope not!
So put a smile on your face, take a long look in the mirror and tell the person that you
see that you deserve to be treated better then that!!!
Take care and good luck!
L | |
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| when girls say they need space
Posted: 4/15/2006 5:56:43 PM | | It sounds to me like she has met another guy and is seeing how well they get along. If it doesn't go well, she can fall back on you, and if they hit it off, she's going to break up 'officially'. | |
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| when girls say they need space
Posted: 4/15/2006 9:26:03 PM | OK, i will be honest for you... its almost over, dont spend your time worrying about it, i know when i have said that.......what i really wanted to say was, hey listen, im out of here, sorry, i know u care more for me than i do 4 u and i dont want to hurt you but im not happy and its time i found something new ........ sorry, 2 honest 4 my own good..   | |
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L4U
| | Joined: 2/10/2006
Msg: 155 | |
| when girls say they need space
Posted: 4/16/2006 9:00:51 AM | | If she's having second thoughts about you it's time for you to move on. I think she may be letting you down gently, however a part of her wants to keep her options open with you. It's really hard to say what motivates people to do what they do, however whatever the case...it may just be easier to move on than to agonize over someone that isn't really sure about how they feel about you. Go for a sure bet! | |
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| when girls say they need space
Posted: 7/11/2006 7:30:08 PM | well its been about 3.5 4 monthsd since my last post.. well here we go again
i havnt spoken to my ex in about 3 months.. and in the last couple weeks she has been emailing me.. asking to go to the movies etc... but as "friends" etc
this coming after zero contact for all this time
yesterday she text messaged me all day whil e i was at work just talking about things and last night we spoke on the phone. for about 3 hours... she asked if i wanted to go to the dinner and movie thing on thuirsday.. in which i did agree.. and i know its the wrong choice.. while we were talking last night on the phone.. she told me she has dated a few guys in the last 3 months.. just to see if their was anything their.. but their wasnt.. b/c they all wanted reationships right away from her.. i told her about my dating exp in the last few months as well.. today,, (wed) once again we text messaged each other all day at work and just spoke on msn
what does all this mean? does she want to be friends?... does she want me back? after so long with no contact its just wow over wheling the last 72 hours.. but i do admit i have missed her... what do you guys and girls think.. what s happening?.. i know u cant speak for her.. but what do you think is goin on? do you think she wants to go to a dinner an dmovie to compare me to the other guys she has recently dated? etc
thnks guys :) | |
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| when girls say they need space
Posted: 7/11/2006 7:43:18 PM | | Generally, this is a chickensh!t way to get you to end it so it can be blamed on you rather than her. I'd give her the space, but start looking elsewhere. Then she can live with her own decision. | |
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| when girls say they need space
Posted: 7/11/2006 8:17:01 PM | | I'm almost leaning towards her wanting the skinny on your dating life. Perhaps all she really wants is to know you've either been pining over her, or if you've been dating. C'mon man, she's keeping you in her back pocket. | |
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| when girls say they need space
Posted: 7/12/2006 12:47:19 AM | That's one thing I never understood..My fiance use to tell me, "if you ever tell me you need space then i know it's over" which makes sense because people think you can get space from time to time ..sleep with other people and it's ok......I was glued to his side like a puppy  | |
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| when girls say they need space
Posted: 7/12/2006 12:53:51 AM | | In a recent survey done on marriages that lasted more than 25 years - the main reason for staying together was said to be the fact that they gave each other space! They respected each other as seperate individuals in the relationship. This does not mean that they enjoyed other people intimately. | |
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| when girls say they need space
Posted: 7/12/2006 6:51:41 AM | | Hello=) Needing space isn't a bad thing if its needed to make the relationship stronger, and also how that time is used in my opinion which makes needing space a good or bad thing, If you think about we all need time to ourselves whether in a relationship or just hanging out with friends, that's just my thoughts.=) | |
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| when girls say they need space
Posted: 7/12/2006 8:17:50 AM |
In a recent survey done on marriages that lasted more than 25 years - the main reason for staying together was said to be the fact that they gave each other space! They respected each other as seperate individuals in the relationship. This does not mean that they enjoyed other people intimately.
True, very true. It's important to respect each other's privacy, and recognize that we will have some interests unique to us that our partner wishes not to enjoy with us.
However, it is most likely when someone spouts the "I need space" comment, it's just total bullshit, just like the "it's not you, it's me" horseshit. | |
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| when girls say they need space
Posted: 7/12/2006 8:36:45 AM | Sorry to say but when someone say's they need space it's over....
It's said quite often on both sides.
Just my opinion and experience. It's an easier way than telling someone the truth. | |
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| when girls say they need space
Posted: 7/12/2006 9:01:20 AM | | Dude. She sounds about equally confused about what she wants in life as my last one. And I heard the same thing for years about 'needing space'. The fact of the matter is, I never felt like I needed space and it would be great to be with a girl that has the same 'relationship energy' that I have. If a girl constantly gets irritated by her dude, then what is there? Certainly not a marriage. If you go back with her again, the old habits will reappear and she'll be needing space again because she will never know what she really wants. You or not you. Like my past issue, she will always see the grass as greener on the other side. From where she is now, the grass looks greener where you are standing until she comes over there and looks back again going "hmmm, no, I think its greener over there instead. Give me some space to go find out." and so on. If a girl like that is okay to you then fine, but if you dont want to keep following and WAITING then just go onward and you'll likely find somebody that doesnt have that issue-ridden personality. One day in the far future, not 6 months, but maybe a few years or longer, you may hear from her and she will have a much more convincing tone to her voice and look in her eyes. A much more "certain" tone and look. "Convinced" that you are the one instead of constantly 'wondering what else is out there'. This crap drives me nuts. But I feel for you dude. She just doesnt know what she wants. You do, but that doesnt mean she does. | |
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| when girls say they need space
Posted: 7/12/2006 9:11:52 AM | | Some girls hate guys that are too pushy and sometimes girls just need their space. The best thing you can do is give her that space and go on. No matter what she feels or why she did it, she'll respect you for it in the end. When she has to push you away, it only ads to the frustration & rejection you're feeling. In any event, treat it as a break-up & don't wait around for her, never knowing if she's coming back or not. | |
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| when girls say they need space
Posted: 7/12/2006 9:28:03 AM | Buddy, I've been exactly where you are now... its been kinda eerie (sp?) reading about this because it seems SO familiar. Here's what you have to look forward to:
She's going to come around - as a friend, she'll say - but the next thing you know, she's going to be working her groove back into your bed. its a trick. she's doing it to convince herself that it wasn't all that great being with you. she might even do it a few times, and you'll think she wants something more from you than she does. you'll think this might become a regular thing.
when this happens, there's 3 things you can do. you can point out the door she's walked through once already and tell her to get reacquainted with the other side of it. you can take the sex for what it is, thank her afterward and hand her a bus ticket. or you can fall into her trap.
she wants you to be a little more screwed up about the loss of her than you already might have been. women don't want to see their exes doing well. not at first anyway. right now, she thinks your life has been ok without her (and it probably has been) and she wants revenge.
take my advice or don't, either way, I wish you luck
-J | |
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| when girls say they need space
Posted: 7/12/2006 9:35:24 AM |
well its been about 3.5 4 monthsd since my last post.. well here we go again
i havnt spoken to my ex in about 3 months.. and in the last couple weeks she has been emailing me.. asking to go to the movies etc... but as "friends" etc
this coming after zero contact for all this time
yesterday she text messaged me all day whil e i was at work just talking about things and last night we spoke on the phone. for about 3 hours... she asked if i wanted to go to the dinner and movie thing on thuirsday.. in which i did agree.. and i know its the wrong choice.. while we were talking last night on the phone.. she told me she has dated a few guys in the last 3 months.. just to see if their was anything their.. but their wasnt.. b/c they all wanted reationships right away from her.. i told her about my dating exp in the last few months as well.. today,, (wed) once again we text messaged each other all day at work and just spoke on msn
what does all this mean? does she want to be friends?... does she want me back? after so long with no contact its just wow over wheling the last 72 hours.. but i do admit i have missed her... what do you guys and girls think.. what s happening?.. i know u cant speak for her.. but what do you think is goin on? do you think she wants to go to a dinner an dmovie to compare me to the other guys she has recently dated? etc
Go back and read my thread: "So you want a second chance?"
Yes, she may just want to be friends for now and if you are OK with that, then do go hang out.
Do NOT spend 3 hours with her on the phone and text all day. Let her know you are busy and have a life. That may be one of the reasons your relationship failed before is always being available to her. Women in general want a man that is hard to get, busy, has a life and a purpose and is going places.
The time to talk to her is in person. Be quiet and listen. Let her talk, let her vent, let her bring up the relationship. Let it be HER idea. Don't try and force things wit her or you'll end up pushing her farther away.
Please DO read: "No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Dr. David Glover
Please DO read: "Love Must Be Tough" by Dr. James Dobson
I think those two books will give you a better perspective on how your actions can positively or negatively influence her feelings about you.
Bottom line: Women don't like wussy behavior (sorry, that's the best word I can use to describe it) in the sense of you giving away your personal power to her in exchange for her attenion/affection. Don't do it. It only serves to have the opposite effect. | |
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| when girls say they need space
Posted: 7/12/2006 9:40:24 AM | Hi:
Darling:
Maybe you should seek therapy.
Sometimes we women ask for space because we want to try other relationships because we are not fullfilled with the current partner. .
But there is danger in this: How healthy were the partners she dated...think about HIV, Herpes, etc...remember that...you do not know about her partners lifestyle. Also: the quality of the feelings...those are not dresses or shirts one just changes.
My advice, after all, is reevaluate yourself, and ask if you want this same type of attitude in the future. What if you marry and she wants to take some time off again, and again go out with new partners, etc. to re-think marriage...people does not change, and same as you meet them they will be ever. Go over...get a better relationship. | |
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| when girls say they need space
Posted: 7/12/2006 9:53:27 AM | My interpretation is that she had something going on with another guy and now that has fallen apart so now she's looking to get back with you. Now, maybe she's learned a lesson, but which lesson has she learned?? That you are a better man, or a bigger fool?
Now if you want to spend the rest of your life with a woman who can't quite figure out just what the hell she wants out of life and love, here's your chance. I do not mean to come off as sarcastic, there truly are men, (God only knows why)who will put up with that. Maybe they've been raised to believe that ALL women don't know sh*t from shinola.
They respected each other as seperate individuals in the relationship. This does not mean that they enjoyed other people intimately
That's an excellent description of a healthy,"give me some space" scenario.
I don't mean to portray the lady in question as a bad person, I think we all sometimes wonder if there ain't something better out there. But I think this one might be wondering too much.JMHO
Cindy O | |
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| when girls say they need space
Posted: 7/12/2006 10:34:46 AM | It was done done done
Did I say done?
Oh yes, and also......DONE.
Walk on boy, and leave this girl to contemplate life for as long as she likes.
Just cuz she has had a few "dates" and they havne't worked out, she is going to fall back on you now?
Is this ok with you?
I mean, maybe she can now appreciate you. But on the other hand, maybe she really is falling back on you. And will do this all over again when the next wanderlust urge hits.
Ya know?
 | |
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| when girls say they need space
Posted: 7/12/2006 10:49:08 AM | Those of you telling him to just "walk away", have you ever been deeply in love? I mean to the point you'd give your life for this person in a heartbeat?
It's NOT that easy to just walk away. I've been there and Lord knows I have wanted to walk away. Being in love is like a drug addiction. You are addicted to the way that person makes you feel and it takes time.
He did well with n/c for three months. She's sniffing around again. The ball is in his court. I personally would have kept the "re-contact" at a minimum and let her pursue a bit. Continue to have fun and date -- be a catch.
Yes, she's failed with other men but if he is overly-enthusiastic about getting back together that will turn her off. She needs him to be a catch, to be busy, to have a life and goals and being at her beck and call is NOT the way to do it.
There ARE good reasons for a second chance (again, read my second chance thread) and they CAN work. You just have to approach it intelligently and do your best to let your mind make decisions to protect your heart. | |
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| when girls say they need space
Posted: 7/12/2006 10:58:15 AM | | it means to be bluntly "fcuk off"...i dont want u no more..so i if was u..find another bird..that doesnt wreck youre head | |
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| when girls say they need space
Posted: 7/12/2006 11:03:31 AM | | hey you know what she is confused and you should move on,becasue she will do this more then once if she and you decided to stay together. So leave her now and then she will feel what it feels like to say i need a break. In most womans words that means you are driving me crazy and i can not handle you write now, or she already has met someone and is trying it out to see if he is better then you to move on with. Sorry sweetie she not really ready to be with you. SO MOVE ON. | |
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