| Why do MEN stay??
Posted: 6/8/2006 4:12:08 AM | the guys I have known who stayed unhappily married
were mainly until the kids turned 18....
TO AVOID CHILD SUPPORT !
They just made themselves scarse around the house...
worked lots of overtime and made lots of new friends...
then when kids turned 18...
they often left and wife was unable to keep the home
on her own.
Not all BUT MOST MEN I HAVE SEEN STAY WAS LIKE THIS...
unless
of course the women filed for divorce prior to the kids turning
18... which always worked out better for her....
being she was able to stay in her house... not have to fool with
a man... and had time to get some training or education while
the kids were at school... so when they turned 18 and left home...
she
did not have to run out and find a man.
What I learned is:
Women who file for divorce and not try to hang on to a dead marriage
do better then ones who dont.
Its also better for the man...
leaves less angry, jaded men out there to date. | |
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| Why do MEN stay??
Posted: 6/8/2006 4:25:20 AM | l gave 110% to my marriage ,,l wanted it to work ,
like someone said til death do us part ,,,,l should have ended my marriage 2 years before it did ,,,but l didnt and tried to work threw the problem ,,
but it becomes impossible,, when the other person doesnt think they have a problem
as much as l hated it happening ,,we had to seperate and we did it mutually | |
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| Why do MEN stay??
Posted: 6/8/2006 4:27:26 AM | Wikkiid
I'm not sure that they actually DO.
The last load of figures I heard from a counseller listed 95% of all breakups came as a total shock to one party or the other.
So I'm yet to be convinced of the exisence of large numbers of men and women who BOTH know that the marriage has run it's course. | |
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| Why do MEN stay??
Posted: 6/8/2006 6:41:21 AM | Mr Right For You, I read your post twice, and the second time it didn't make any more sense than the first time.
All of the other issues aside, it would seem from a money point of view that both parties would have a higher standard of living married. Two incomes instead of one, but without all of the bills being doubled.
The second thing: He would let her spend? Are you assuming that the man should be in total control of money in the marriage, and if so why, when most of the time they are both working? | |
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| Why do MEN stay??
Posted: 6/8/2006 6:51:28 AM |
It's cheaper than alimony and child support.
I have only known two people in my life that recieved alimony and they were both men. As to child support I never recieved the first cent and know a lot of women that never did. | |
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| Why do MEN stay??
Posted: 6/8/2006 8:58:20 AM | | Men stay because if they get divorced women will take everything he has earned. It is unfair how a woman can moan and cry in court and the judge will give her everything alimony, child support, his assets, the house, car, etc and he is left with nothing. | |
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| Why do MEN stay??
Posted: 6/8/2006 9:01:15 AM | Are you all aware that most...I reiterate MOST of the men incarcerated in the US are there for failure to pay child support. The irony is while they're in jail they can't earn money and may loose their job.
knoxjbp | |
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| Why do MEN stay??
Posted: 6/8/2006 9:03:53 AM | Can we all say: MONEY HONEY! Men usually stay because their lil wallet says so! Then we all see them on POF -slutting their wares...............
Got to love the sanctity of marriage------it is just so blissful -ask Paul McCartney -Sure, he is laughing about his deal from hell right ~as we speak. Poor lil paulie got his pants stuck in the door- on that marriage... Guess, he would have liked to have stayed- but, she sees $$$ so- aint' love grand 
Sierra | |
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| Why do MEN stay??
Posted: 6/8/2006 9:09:00 AM | I stayed because of my son. Eventually I felt I could leave and maintain my relationship with him, so I did. It had nothing to do with money, and money is a poor substitute for love.
After I left, I met the true love of my life, and have been amazingly happy ever since. Leaving my ex was the best decision I ever made (the worst was marrying her in the first place; the second worst was not leaving before we had children)! | |
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| Why do MEN stay??
Posted: 6/15/2006 9:14:43 AM | | For me I made a married her for better or worse, she had mental problems so it wasn't her fault, I still love my ex, meaning I want no harm to ever come to her. She left me alot, and I finally couldn't take it anymore. Now you got to understand I was the luckyest man in the world about half the time, but I never knew when that was going to be. She was working on herself all the time, so I always hoped she would find the answers. I've talked to her since the divorce and she thanked me for the years of sticking with her through thick and thin, she's on meds now but even she says she will never be better. She is an awsome lady, when she is not (well she called it) wacking out. | |
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| Why do MEN stay??
Posted: 6/15/2006 11:55:47 AM | | The reasoning behind me wanting to try was not about the money or even really the child we had together for me it was the fact that I made that commitment to her. It took getting cheated on and lied to, to many times to finally realize that no matter how hard I tried it would never work unless we both were willing to put forth the effort. | |
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Dru
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Joined: 12/17/2005
Msg: 85 | |
| Why do MEN stay??
Posted: 6/15/2006 1:09:40 PM | How about because divorce is not fair to men. I was talking with my g/f last night, and she had a meeting where she was being told to go after support. That makes sense I thought, the father should at least pay to support his children even if he doesn't want anything to do with them. But then the consultant she was talking too, told her to go after her recent common law husband for support too?!?! The recent ex is not the father of either of the children, but because he was around for 6 years, in the courts eye's he's a father figure and has the responsiblity of supporting these children now. How in the hell is that fair? It also gives me huge concerns about ever dating a women with kids, even the one I'm with now. If things go down the pooper in a few years, am I going to have to pay support for these kids that are not mine?
It doesn't end there either. I watched my dad go through a divorce with a woman that cheated on him. She got half the house, half of all the possesions plus 1000 a month alamony for 3 years. Once the alamony ran out, she went back to court and got another 1000 a month for another 18 months.
Sometimes its easier to just stay married and stop loving then it is to get divorced. Especially if your older, what are the chances of you actually finding someone at the age of 50 or more? I'm sure it happens, but I'm sure it doesn't happen a lot more often. | |
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| Why do MEN stay??
Posted: 6/15/2006 1:21:40 PM | Marriages are not meant to be disposable. It's a lifetime of commitment.
It's funny that long term bachelors I have met can't seem to get it together financially. Yes they have houses to pay for and an occasional trip. Most of them seem to have a hard time making ends meet..and the ones that have been married have a lot more because they were used to the two income family unit and the toys accumulated - truck, boat, camper, jet ski,four wheeler..cottage up north..etc.
Women have a better way of making ends meet..therefore, women do try harder and work harder to make the marriage work because she has put too much time and work to give it up now..
Men on the other hand..want to chuck the kids, house..bills..for a twenty year old pop tart... | |
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| Why do MEN stay??
Posted: 6/15/2006 1:32:40 PM | | I can understand divorce because of abuse, substance abuse, or a spouse that will not stop cheating, but I do not understand what is meant, by a marriage that has run it's course. | |
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| Why do MEN stay??
Posted: 6/15/2006 1:35:50 PM | | Ahhhhhhhhhh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!! Ahhhhhhh ha ha ha ha hah ah ahah ha!! I hope arealangel that you honestly dont believe what you just wrote. Women are the ones that love to blow money. Most guys are happy just staying home or going out fishing after work which costs next to nothing. If I didnt say anything my woman would drive me to being broke before each pay day. I have started teaching her how to save money. But women blow the money. | |
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| Why do MEN stay??
Posted: 6/15/2006 1:51:59 PM | | i think its not a men and women issue,,thats trying to cut it simple and dry, its varies from person to person,relationship to relationship,,you cant just put all men and all women into one group and speak for them all,,if we would get over this mass produced cookie cutter projection we have on life then maybe we would understand people are PEOPLE not buicks with a recall on a certain part that will malfunction on all those particular models.we are like that handcrafted one of a kind individually made and designed work of art.there is not another one like us,thats where compatability strikes us hard,,without compromise,we have no compatability.but for one person to speak for all men or all women is crazy,we can speak for ourselves as individuals on our own behalf and our own situation. i didnt realize we had gone so far as to start stereo typeing male and female whats next. | |
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| Why do MEN stay??
Posted: 6/15/2006 3:45:13 PM | | We all stay, men and women, because once you have children then there is a desire to do the best by them for as long as you can. | |
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| Why do MEN stay??
Posted: 6/15/2006 11:23:57 PM | It's so hard.....
To me is the children. Way over the money issue. Still the kids know what is going on (probably more than the parents..!) The marriage won't work if it's only because of them.
Also, I read about the 60 % rate of divorce now on days. Same article mentioned that the % doesn't include the amount of couples that live unhappily married since there is no record of it... But it asumes the % is fairly high... | |
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| Why do MEN stay??
Posted: 6/16/2006 12:20:24 AM | | I was starting to wonder the same thing. I am still young and never been married but do wedding vows not mean anything anymore? I understand that there are some thing that you just cant get past and a divorce is unavoidable. But other than that I dont see why anyone would want to divirce. better or worse.... rich or poor... | |
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