Garf
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Joined: 4/4/2005
Msg: 151 | |
| Well everyone else is doing it.
Posted: 4/8/2006 5:48:21 PM | Lifestartsnow:
Telling people that it's hard to find a woman who fits into your category...no matter how strict your restrictions are; Is dating suicide.
Try something a little more positive than; "...about my mate...wow...that's not easy..."
Add interests, fill the whole profile out, or it looks half-assed. I could start a thread on the subject, "Do people put the same effort into their relationships as they do in their profiles?" and the results would no doubt show that women agree they do, for the most part.
Elaborate your first date, to show that you're willing to take the reins a bit...and smile!!! Pics with smiles get more views, than pics without smiles...unless you have good lips, lol.
Your pics are good pics...but you're not in them. That needs to be fixed as well. Candid pics are better than posed shots, for sure.
Break up your "About Me" space into a few paragraphs, according to different subjects within it, and put some space between them to lengthen the body a bit. The content is good, but it's like reading a run-on sentence, which makes it difficult to read.
You seem to be a very talkative person, judging from what I read in your profile. Try a first date that involves listening to her, lol....I'm just kidding...find a nice place that offers unlimited refills on coffee with your meal, and have a great time chatting for hours would be my personal suggestion for a first date idea, instead of an activity. Unless the activity is a bike ride through a wooded trail or something like that, where you can chat her ears off. | |
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Garf
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Joined: 4/4/2005
Msg: 152 | |
| Well everyone else is doing it.
Posted: 4/8/2006 6:10:42 PM | tina_marie1022:
Interests go in the interests section...not in the main body.
"... I don't look at every man with the prospect of him being the ONE... " <Spin positivity into your profile at every turn. Men are swayed by attitude, when looking for a long term relationship, more than looks.
Oh yeah...you look for dating, when your profile tells me long term, lol.
"...and in my past relationships..." Stop. No. Move on. 'Nuff Said?
A little extra info; Delete it. It tells me that you got lazy and stopped working out (which may not be the case, but that's how people will percieve it) and it tells me that you aren't comfortable with who you are.
Read a hundred other profiles of women in your area... the first date is the same in many cases.
Try to stand out from the rest, by picking a first date that is either a challenge to the man...like pool...or something that will at least turn out to be a good day spent gaining a friend, rather than a bad date wasted losing a potential boyfriend.
You can email me for specific ideas I have to make your profile shine like a beacon in the south...your restrictions prevent me from contacting you, lol.
I have some positive stuff that I don't want to post here...
lol, nothing weird, just email me and find out. | |
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| Well everyone else is doing it.
Posted: 4/8/2006 7:23:40 PM | Hi Garf,
Just wanted to say you are doing a great job, and I am sure most here really appreciate it. Hopefully bring more people together.
Would you have a look at mine. I am getting mixed messages and not sure how to handle the little contacts I am getting.
Thanks so much.
Jo. | |
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| Well everyone else is doing it.
Posted: 4/9/2006 1:13:15 AM | | Thanks garf. Yes, I have been told that I'm too nice. I consider reworking the first date part. I could use more confidence also. | |
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| Well everyone else is doing it.
Posted: 4/9/2006 9:53:14 AM | | Well I went back and rewrote the profile,Kinda hard with the kiddo's here today but I think it's better than the last one and mabey more to work with.Check it out and see what you think.Thanks.......Don | |
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Garf
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Joined: 4/4/2005
Msg: 159 | |
| Well everyone else is doing it.
Posted: 4/9/2006 10:29:45 AM | Donfxds:
That's a hell of an improvement.
Ok, so one thing you simply must do, is cut and paste your profile into WordPerfect, and run a spell check.
About paragraphs;
A sentence is a single thought on one topic. A paragraph is a group of thoughts (sentences) on one topic.
When you change topics; Start a new paragraph, with a space between them to separate them and make the profile a little fatter.
This is a new paragraph. See what I mean?
Your first date is fun, and you tell the woman to bring leather...which is ballsy, lol...but you're not talking about anything kinky, so it's ok. 
In your interests; Move that sentence into the "About Me" section, and write Harleys, Motorcycles, Intimacy, Dirt Roads (just cut and paste the bold words with the commas...you'll see why when you do it.)
Your town is no booming metropolis...that's why you are the only person there who is on PoF, lmao...change your town name to the closest city, and mention Bowdoinham in your about me section, to clarify that you don't live in the city.
Let's see what you can do with this info...I hope it helps. | |
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Garf
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Joined: 4/4/2005
Msg: 160 | |
| Well everyone else is doing it.
Posted: 4/9/2006 10:44:27 AM | josiegem:
Your pics are nice. I would personally put the one of you holding your dog as your main pic, though.
Your "About Me" section kind of reads like a list of things to do, rather than a description of yourself, even though it is. I had to read it a couple of times to figure out why it didn't seem right, so it's a subtle thing really.
Put "Beaches" in your interests, if that's your thing.
Once again, this is a profile that is already good...it just needs some fine tuning.
Stretch out your sentences a bit...add some meat to them.
"I walk my dog regularly" could be stretched out to; "I enjoy taking my shiatsu for walks around the boardwalk in the evenings, while watching the sunset, and listening to the waves crash against the shore." (If you live further inland than this is feasable...don't write this, lmao)
See what I mean? It's not so "list-like"
First date...how about sandwiches on the beach or something? Picnic? It is getting close to that season. Coffee and chat is nice, nothing wrong with it...but everyone does it.
Try that, and let's see what it looks like afterwards. | |
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Garf
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Joined: 4/4/2005
Msg: 161 | |
| Well everyone else is doing it.
Posted: 4/9/2006 10:51:55 AM | Nathan:
Delete the first sentence in your "About Me" section...or someone is going to slap you.
The pic with you and your friend missing shirts: women giggle at this...(well, at least the one who is standing over my shoulder giggled)..I would delete it, or airbrush some cow udders onto your bellies for fun.
Astrology: Put in your interests, and elaborate in your "About Me" section.
Read my first post in this thread for more hints, and change your "Looking For", from "Talk/Email" to "Friends"...which is what you've written your profile towards.
Women are stimulated by their minds, more than their eyes. Remember this when writing a profile. Make it pretty, lol.
Try a few changes, then come back and we'll finish it up. | |
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| Well everyone else is doing it.
Posted: 4/9/2006 4:49:51 PM | Hi there Garth,
I've noticed that you give really sage advice for ads on here. So, I figured I'd jump in as well. If you could have a look - I've tried to be very honest, but perhaps too much so.
Any suggestions would be helpful.
Thanks much!
Bribean | |
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| Well everyone else is doing it.
Posted: 4/9/2006 8:12:13 PM | Hi Garf,
I really like the way you communicate & would appreciate a review of my profile!
Thanks a lot for your time & I look forward to reading your critique!
Blueskies28 | |
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NOMSKY
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Joined: 3/3/2006
Msg: 168 | |
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Garf
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Joined: 4/4/2005
Msg: 170 | |
| Well everyone else is doing it.
Posted: 4/10/2006 2:51:56 PM | josiegem:
Good stuff. Add a few things into your interests, and you're all set to go.
bribean:
The headline is catchy for someone looking for "Friends" to walk their dogs, or go to shows.
I can't believe you cut those curls off...hope to see new pics real soon though.
Before I read anything; the first thing I noticed was that you have three interests that aren't something you can really do with someone. So as far as possible activities, although they're good things obviously...they aren't a great way of suggesting something to do, to get to know each other.
Add some active interests to this section.
Also, I took one look at your "About Me" section, and before I read it; my first reaction was..."Too long"
Your first paragraph is very informative, but very thick.
If you don't drink, smoke or do drugs, then by putting this in your restrictions: people who do these things, won't even see your profile in a search anyways...and if they did, they wouldn't be able to email you. Basically, it's redundant to tell us in this section, so removing it is fine.
"I'm terribly normal" = "I'm boring." You don't look or sound boring at all...since the next sentence tells us that you love a good belly laugh, which means that this little piece can go too. And so can the brackets that you use in the next sentence.
You're active, which is good. Everything else up to "I'm large" is good as well.
You could switch this sentence to something like, "Above all else, I enjoy life regardless of any setbacks I may face." (It's a lot more positive)
The rest of the "About Me" is superb.
The park idea is nice, but let the guy know that you're open for a picnic or something other than just walking...now that the weather is nicer for picnics.
Post in the Religion forums a little more often, but don't lose your temper...you'll find who you're looking for there, more than anywhere else on this site.
Next in line.... | |
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Garf
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Joined: 4/4/2005
Msg: 171 | |
| Well everyone else is doing it.
Posted: 4/10/2006 3:06:23 PM | Tabella:
Thanks for that...lol.
blueskies28:
Blank spaces create suspicion. Once again, I'm not really the King of the Squirrels...but at least the space isn't blank. You can be the Grand Squirrel Sorceress if you want, that's ok by me. There's no pay though, and you have to ward off dragons.
"Hi there!"...friendly, and normally I'd say delete that...but you seem to be a very bubbly and cheery person, so keep it.
The second pic, with the webbed sleeves, is the one I'd prefer to see as a main pic. It's clearer, brighter, and you have a great smile, so flaunt it!
Career oriented...good. Never home for the weekend...bad. I'd leave that part out until you get to know the person a little. You never know who might be misinterpreting what you write.
Focus a little more on who you are, instead of what you do. Also a little more on who you're looking for. I love the soap opera segue.
Things you really need to fix:
Interests. Fill this in. When other people see you have interests; it leaves them the opportunity to invite you to do these things that you're interested in.
First Date. Same as above. Fill it in.
I'll review your profile again when you touch it up a bit. Looking good so far though. | |
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Garf
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Joined: 4/4/2005
Msg: 172 | |
| Well everyone else is doing it.
Posted: 4/10/2006 3:38:15 PM | mysecretlair:
Your profile is fine. I like it just the way it is. You just have to get around the forums a little more to show off a bit. You've been here how a month, and you're on 9 faves list....I was here for six months before I got to ten people.
You'll be fine.
Nomsky:
I met my woman on this site, so if you want to spread negativity; this is the wrong guy to try it with. Go somewhere else to be negative please.
jollyfriartuck:
You look like a great guy, so once you read the original post in this thread and try those hints...I'll help you make something really good. | |
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Ciana5
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Joined: 5/20/2005
Msg: 173 | |
| Well everyone else is doing it.
Posted: 4/10/2006 4:42:26 PM | I come to this site every day to see all the advice given to improve a profile, and I think the suggestions are absolutely fabulous.
Garf, lucky you to have met "your woman" on this site. I guess it's a strong message to everyone that a good thought out profile can work.
C | |
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Garf
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Joined: 4/4/2005
Msg: 175 | |
| Well everyone else is doing it.
Posted: 4/10/2006 7:09:23 PM | rokkinronny:
You're looking to "Hang Out", but you restrict people who are looking for "Friends" from contacting you. This blocks out a lot of people, since they fall under the same category here, as far as the filters are concerned.
Fill in your "Interests" section. This is very important for people who are looking for "Hang Out" than some of the other choices. It gives you a reason to hang out...
You need to talk about yourself a bit more. Read the first post here, on page 1, and see what you can come up with.
Until then: Delete your first date. It's creepy, lol...
You seem like a decent enough guy, but your profile is a bit dry. Add some mustard, and come back when you're finished outlining what you think you want to find in a woman, as well as what they are going to see in you.
We'll work something out. | |
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