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| Men reaching age 50 +
Posted: 6/28/2006 7:11:32 PM | | When I turned 50 I was busy raising a daughter, so I didn't really notice if it made any difference in the social life. My daughter's now an adult and I'm 61 now, but I'm not done living by any means -- if anyone wants to exclude me because of my age, fine. I won't tell you I'm younger even if most people think so when they see me (and people I have worked with for years have been surprised to learn my age). And if I'm outside the age restriction in your profile you won't hear from me for a date. (Yes I have some age restrictions of my own -- who knows maybe I'll have to loosen them someday.) | |
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| Men reaching age 50 +
Posted: 6/28/2006 7:19:45 PM | I so appreciate attitudes such as yours. All we can hope for is that we respect each other's personal preferences. I'm certainly not for everyone and everyone isn't for me.  | |
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| Men reaching age 50 +
Posted: 7/1/2006 10:16:16 AM | Alive: We'll go easy on you the first holiday ~ after that, you're on your own.  | |
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| Men reaching age 50 +
Posted: 7/2/2006 11:05:53 AM | Oh, why not... I'll toss in my two cents to this 21 page burner.... I dated someone who insisted I lied about my age. She swore that I was younger. Why did I say I was older, she wanted to know. I produced my DL and
proved it. (Okay, I have to get some strokes as I never get carded anymore for booze.)
Also, somewhere 20 pages back vereygreeneyez mentioned about "older" guys being controlling. It's a generalization, I know, but I have known of controlling men of all ages, insecure nasties who think that they can goad, frighten or pummel someone into a relationship and keep them there. Age is no barrier to stupidity. ' ' | |
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| Men reaching age 50 +
Posted: 7/2/2006 11:39:18 AM | VERYGREENEYEZ-I look very young, I am proud to put 41 on my profile. I could easily put 35, and most likely not be found out.
MAYBE IF THEY WERE GULLABLE FOOLS. It's woman like you that make a man feel like he might need to fudge. You put 42 on your profile by the way or at least that what it states. I don't mean to offend you but I would have guessed a little older. I don't lie about my age but I would resent a woman who puts me off because of my age. I can hold my own against men both young and old. | |
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| Men reaching age 50 +
Posted: 7/2/2006 2:12:24 PM | It's woman like you that make a man feel like he might need to fudge.
NO IT'S NOT!!!!!....if anyone feels the need to "fudge" on age or anything else...IT'S ON THEM!!!!!...not on anyone else....nearly everyone on here has some kind of criteria for what they have in mind...I swear,I cannot for the life of me understand why so many are so bent out of shape at someone for simply stating in her profile what kind of man she's interested in meeting and seemingly taking it so personally when they don't fit...damn,IT'S HER PRIVILEGE!!!!...it's ANYONE'S privilege to put in their profile ANYTHING about what they do or don't have in mind...if you're not what someone else is looking for,don't piss and moan about it...go find someone who IS looking for someone like you...the operative word in POF is PLENTY!!!
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| Men reaching age 50 +
Posted: 7/2/2006 6:17:47 PM | if you're not what someone else is looking for,don't piss and moan about it...go find someone who IS looking for someone like you...the operative word in POF is PLENTY!!! Exactly ... I wish people could just get that through their head. We all have preferences and we all have the right to express them without expecting to be bashed for it.
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| Men reaching age 50 +
Posted: 7/2/2006 6:31:36 PM | Came across this thread late...and I don't have the time to read through 21 pages ...so sorry if I repeat anyone elses comments.
It is my opinion that ...Male or Female... it is a huge RED FLAG when you make limitations on seeing younger and not older...it is usually an indication of "something" that person is going through....and is discriminating prejudice !
Let me put it this way...my history has shown, that I have a leaning toward Blond Caucasion women between 5"2"and 5'4" no older than 2 years older and 3 years younger....but I have never subjected myself to that narrow minded criteria....as result I have had some very good times over a sustained period with dating as varied as..... a woman 21 years younger ....and another a dark skinned and black haired South American....another 5'11"
I believe it is a PREJUDICE to prejudge someone on age alone..as it is on any other criteria...yet it goes on all the time.
Having dated a much younger woman for quite awhile, to be honest, I have found it more difficult to meet women my age or older who I find physically appealing...but not impossible. For awhile I thought that I may have been spoiled by the younger woman....but then I asked myself..."what the hell does that mean?" SPOILED?? What is Shallow ??
It occurred to me that maybe my expectations had increased because I was thinking less like an older man...and my looks ( hair cut, clothes, physique etc) reflected someone who was more confident in themself and not "in a rut" like many people my age find themselves (but obviously not all) ...this is not "spoiled"...this is not "shallow"...it might be more vain though..LOL!!!
Simpler put, since I had made improvements in myself, my expectations of a partner became higher. I found myself wanting to date... nay...expecting to date women more attractive...more intelligent...more stable. That is NOT a BAD thing!!
I also became more confident in approaching younger women, who previously I ruled out on age alone...
BUT ....AND THIS IS A BIG BUT!!....I never limited myself nor expected to date only younger....
Infact, I met a fantastic woman, very close to my own age who was in better shape than 80% of 30 year olds...who was intelligent and very stable...we had a great time dating and due to other factors it it was necessary for her to turn into one of my best friends instead of a relationship.
So no ! I don't think it wise to rule out anyone of any age .... it is practical to date within 5 years either way, because NO MATTER HOW YOUNG YOU SAY YOU THINK....if you are not on the same wave length as MOST people your own age you have been isolated or stifled or prevented from growing.....or maybe you tell yourself that lie because you enjoy the SUPERIORITY AND CONTROL you feel with younger people...
BUT that doesn't mean it is impossible to connect mentally and emotionally with someone out of that range....it is just more likely to be within that range unless there is something unusual that has happened to you.
By the way...some people like myself have posted INCORRECT ages on here for less clandestine reasons
( I don't consider it "LYING" because I define that as "providing false information to people WHO HAVE A RIGHT to know the truth". I am sorry but until I know who you are and that you are who you say you are...I owe you nothing)
But I have changed my age up and down for the express purpose of IMing some people on here who are friends already but have seen it fit ( and that is their right)to put age limitations in their profiles.... | |
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| Men reaching age 50 +
Posted: 7/2/2006 7:10:50 PM | But I have changed my age up and down for the express purpose of IMing some people on here who are friends already but have seen it fit ( and that is their right)to put age limitations in their profiles.... I too have altered my age and even location to be able to email certain individuals so as not to clutter up the forums with what I wanted to say to them specifically. But I have always changed it back to the correct status upon completing my emails.
TEMPT YOUR KHARMA:
I am open to "speak" to anyone, however, if I have not met you before and i do not know who you are, be prepared to provide two pics of unprofessional taken photos and be prepared to meet casually soon after. If you are not able or willing to do either of these DO NOT BOTHER WRITING ME!!
I am a straight forward person and expect the same.
( I don't consider it "LYING" because I define that as "providing false information to people WHO HAVE A RIGHT to know the truth". I am sorry but until I know who you are and that you are who you say you are...I owe you nothing)
I have read your profile and agree with what you say to a point. You are demanding that others be willing to submit recent photos etc. to you ... but then turn around and state in the forum that you owe them nothing. I challenge that ... you owe them the same amount of truthful representation that you expect.
If you want a lady to be truthful and upfront with you about her looks etc. before you meet her ... then you need to be prepared to follow up with the same level of honesty. If all you want to have to do is let her see a recent photo and not truly know your age, don't get pissed if all you get in return is a recent photo and not her true age.
Since I'm truthful about both my looks and my age ......... that's what I expect in return. If I do not fit the criteria that someone is looking for ... I could care less ... no one is forcing them to contact me. As I generally do not contact men on here seeking dates, I generally do not have to look at their criteria.
I just moved to Phoenix and did send out some emails letting some of the gentlemen in the area know that I'd love some social contact ... make friends etc. It was not a cut and paste production and I looked at their profiles prior to sending the email ... no sense in contacting someone who you know is not really going to really want contact with you.
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| Men reaching age 50 +
Posted: 7/2/2006 7:44:26 PM |
It's woman like you that make a man feel like he might need to fudge. You put 42 on your profile by the way or at least that what it states. I don't mean to offend you but I would have guessed a little older. I don't lie about my age but I would resent a woman who puts me off because of my age. I can hold my own against men both young and old.
I am NOT responsible for anyone that lies about their age or anything else, for that matter. People lie all on their own. For their own reasons. You are more than entitled to your opinion on how I look. It makes no difference to me. I am very happy with who I am ~~ how I look is not "who" I am. It's only the skin I walk around in.
Also, somewhere 20 pages back vereygreeneyez mentioned about "older" guys being controlling. It's a generalization, I know, but I have known of controlling men of all ages, insecure nasties who think that they can goad, frighten or pummel someone into a relationship and keep them there. Age is no barrier to stupidity.
You are grossly misquoting me. What I said is that I have yet to meet a man over 45 who did not wish to change me. That says nothing about controlling me. Please at least get the quote straight so the others posters don't have to go digging back 20 pages to see what you are talking about. Changing someone doesn't necessarily mean control ~ if you see it that way, that is entirely your business. But don't drag me into your mis-communication. Those men that I stated wanted me to change did not want to control me, they wanted me to change ~ and guess what...they aren't in my life any longer and I didn't change. Guess that solved that problem.
~OT~ Again we are running around the age issue. Goodness. It's about the LIE guys ~ not how old I look, not how someone wanted to change me 5 years ago, it's about the lies some people tell. Nothing more, nothing less. | |
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| Men reaching age 50 +
Posted: 7/2/2006 8:50:25 PM | I believe it is a PREJUDICE to prejudge someone on age alone..as it is on any other criteria...yet it goes on all the time.
So then can I assume that ANY woman who contacts you and would like to get next to you automatically is in with you,regardless of how she looks,what she weighs,how tall she is,can she converse intelligently,does she speak English,does she have common ground and intrests compatible with yours,is she a gold digger,is she on drugs or booze,does she shower,does she smoke,how many teeth does she have (and are they white or yellow?)??...and on and on and on...do you not have your own "criteria" on what kind of lady you'd like to hook up with,or at least what kind you don't??..well guess what...we all do!!!...what is different about someone elses "criteria" if it includes an age high and/or low preference??...and where exactly would your line be drawn separating preference from prejudice??? | |
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| Men reaching age 50 +
Posted: 7/2/2006 10:09:49 PM | I am always up front about who I am (atleast I try to) including age. The only problem I have is that I wish more women would put an age preference, if she has one. That way I won't waste either her time or mine.
Every one is entitled to have their own preferences. | |
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| Men reaching age 50 +
Posted: 7/2/2006 11:30:29 PM | I look very young, I am proud to put 41 on my profile. I could easily put 35, and most likely not be found out.
In all honesty you look like a woman in her 40's and I do not understand your hang up with age. If someone lies to you....deal with it and move on. Just that simple. | |
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| Men reaching age 50 +
Posted: 7/3/2006 1:37:18 AM | I've always had the luck of looking younger than I am ... actually had a man state that he would want to date me, but I am too young. He did not know how old I was ... just assumed by looking at me. Turns out he wasn't that much older than me after all.
We never "dated" ... but became good dance partners for several months.
OT: It all boils down to preferences ... we're entitled to them ... no matter why. If a person on here has a problem with a person having preferences ... that's exactly what it is ... their problem. It's not the problem of the person who feels secure enough to have preferences or who is bold enough to state them.
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| Men reaching age 50 +
Posted: 7/3/2006 7:59:10 AM | OT: It all boils down to preferences ... we're entitled to them ... no matter why. If a person on here has a problem with a person having preferences ... that's exactly what it is ... their problem. It's not the problem of the person who feels secure enough to have preferences or who is bold enough to state them.
Exactly!!...seems like some get it,some don't...
In fairness to those squawking in this thread about being "excluded" because of someone's age preferences,they aren't alone....there are those in most any "excluded" preference category that will always take it as some kind of personal bigoted put down and feel the need to whine about that one...check some of the other threads on dating preferences and you'll see... | |
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| Men reaching age 50 +
Posted: 7/3/2006 9:56:54 AM |
In all honesty you look like a woman in her 40's and I do not understand your hang up with age. If someone lies to you....deal with it and move on. Just that simple.
Like I've said a dozen times, you are entitled to your opinion. Many would not agree with you, some would and I truly don't care either way. As I stated above, my appearance is the least important part of me. You being a woman older than myself, very well may think I look your age, and I can appreciate that.
~OT~ This isn't about AGE. ARGH. It's about lying about things, age in general. Those of you who don't care, wonderful. Those of you who do ~ great. I personally have solved that problem because I have a man in my life who didn't lie about his age. Proof that there is someone for everyone. I stuck to my preferences and so did he. He prefers older women, I prefer younger men. It works that way. Know who you are, know what you need, want, can or can not live with and find the person who works in your world.  | |
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| Men reaching age 50 +
Posted: 7/3/2006 10:12:30 AM | brebour
The thread is about lying. NOT age. From my past I've learned if a person lies about thier age they'll lie about other things too. I have been the victim of somebody posting a 10 year old picture and lying about his age. Needless to say. I now value honesty. | |
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| Men reaching age 50 +
Posted: 7/3/2006 10:50:41 AM | Actually the way the joke goes is : "If a woman tells you her age, she will lie about other things too".
So let me respond to point about "lying" as this thread is about both "age" and "Lying"
Lying could also be defined as a holding back of information.....so why doesn't everyone here just quit lying and provide thier phone numbers and addresses as well??
The reason why YOU don't is simply because no one is obligated to provide any information accurate or not to complete strangers...in fact you would have to be DAFFY to do so.
Yes, I agree, we should be willing to be honest with someone if we are expecting honesty back....but frankly sights like this are so full of dishonesty there is no way I feel obligated about being accurate or truthful to anyone until we have established some rapport. The yes if you still are lying then there is a problem...but to assume and expect honesty is incredulous and naive.
Now the point I am made earlier about"prejudice" let me clarify.
ABSOLUTELY....if you pre-judge someone purely on one aspect...age, skin color, financial status, weight....YOU ARE BEING PREJUDICED and NOT just PREFERENCE....
"that is all I have to say on that".. Forest Gump | |
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| Men reaching age 50 +
Posted: 7/3/2006 11:38:13 AM |
ABSOLUTELY....if you pre-judge someone purely on one aspect...age, skin color, financial status, weight....YOU ARE BEING PREJUDICED and NOT just PREFERENCE....
"that is all I have to say on that".. Forest Gump
OK, I'll go with that. I'm prejudice. I don't like liars. And it's not a pre-judge, it's a reality. My point was this: I met someone online 4 years ago, he was 44 then. We were friends for over 4 years and I found out he was, in fact, 56. LIES, all lies. Four years worth of lies. And he was lying about more than his age. (And there were 6 more since him that professed to an age they clearly were NOT.) That is the ilk of people. If they lie about something as silly as age, they'll lie about important things. Plain and simple. Now, if you are talking discrimination or prejudice because I relate to those my age or younger ~ that is simply silly. I would NOT be good company for someone who grew up in a different era than I did. I've tried, it didn't work. Too many differences. That is me. No one else needs to subscribe to my preferences, there are plenty of single people to go around. Prejudicial or discriminatory ~ no, it's preferencial. | |
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| Men reaching age 50 +
Posted: 7/3/2006 12:11:22 PM |
So let me respond to point about "lying" as this thread is about both "age" and "Lying" NOPE ... this thread is really just about lying. Several have tried to make it about "age" ... others have even tried to make it about "prejudice", but it really is just about "lying". | |
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| Men reaching age 50 +
Posted: 7/3/2006 12:39:09 PM | Well, that was yesterday, this is today, and I guess today you're proud to put 46 on your profile! Psssttt... You've been found out! And, as VGE has stated, its all about LYING, as you've just demonstrated!
Sorry Dallas, I misread that.....Ops....I think you are talking to someone else. Hell, I'm 42 and she thinks I look older ~ cool, I've been going to put 49 on my profile (just to fit in) but decided that'll happen soon enough!!
Hey ~ I've wondered what happened to you. You didn't call for me to cat-sit and I wondered if I had been replaced. ***smile*** | |
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| Men reaching age 50 +
Posted: 7/3/2006 12:54:49 PM | Lying could also be defined as a holding back of information
NO IT COULDN'T!!!...that's ludicrous!!!!!!!...that's apples/oranges if there ever was..
Not putting your life story in a profile isn't holding back information..it's simply putting in it what you choose to put in it for a variety of reasons...a profile is basically a sales job,and as such one would generally frame it in a way he/she thinks puts them in the best light TO ATTRACT WHAT IT IS THEY'D LIKE TO ATTRACT..and also TO KEEP AWAY WHAT DOESN'T INTREST THEM!!!...That being said,what one CHOOSES to put in their profile needs to be the truth!!!...plain and simple...sure,there is way too much lying,BS and deception in here,but the fact that it exists doesn't make it acceptable...
The next time you walk into somewhere to meet someone,and you walk right past him/her because you didn't recognize the person who looked nothing like the 10 yr old picture they have posted and was 3 inches shorter and 100# heavier than what he/she represented themselves to be...come on back in here then and try to rationalize lying...you can't because there is no rational for it!!!...a lie is a lie is a lie...PERIOD!!! | |
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| Men reaching age 50 +
Posted: 7/3/2006 1:29:50 PM | .... a profile is basically a sales job,and as such one would generally frame it in a way he/she thinks puts them in the best light TO ATTRACT WHAT IT IS THEY'D LIKE TO ATTRACT..and also TO KEEP AWAY WHAT DOESN'T INTREST THEM!!! Yup ... that's it in a nutshell.
...That being said,what one CHOOSES to put in their profile needs to be the truth!!!...plain and simple...sure,there is way too much lying,BS and deception in here,but the fact that it exists doesn't make it acceptable... It occurs to me that only the immature would stoop to accepting and participating in decepton in that way. Another reason that I am so consequential about lying and deception. As far as I'm concerned, if you find you have to lie to be accepted by me, then you'd better be prepared to be dumped in the short time it takes me to say, "I'm done with you!".
The next time you walk into somewhere to meet someone,and you walk right past him/her because you didn't recognize the person who looked nothing like the 10 yr old picture they have posted and was 3 inches shorter and 100# heavier than what he/she represented themselves to be...come on back in here then and try to rationalize lying...you can't because there is no rational for it!!!...a lie is a lie is a lie...PERIOD!!!
And that is precisely what this thread is all about ... LIARS ... nothing more, nothing less ... just big fat liars.
Those who would participate in such behavior are not only practicing deception, but are also lying to themselves. I have no time to waste with any man who can't be straightforward and upfront about himself. I want to be the person who decides for myself if this person merits my attentions based on what he has to offer. I don't need a sales job ... I'm mature and smart enough to determine if there are enough qualities there for me to take time to get to know him.
Besides ... lying and deceiving is so hurtful in the end. One can spend months ... even years with a liar ... invest a lot of time and feelings in a relationship, only to discover that it was all a lie.
Lying is evil and selfish and I have no room for that in my life. People need to grow up and become real ... life is too short to waste time on lies and the hurt it causes.
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| Men reaching age 50 +
Posted: 7/3/2006 2:06:55 PM |
The next time you walk into somewhere to meet someone,and you walk right past him/her because you didn't recognize the person who looked nothing like the 10 yr old picture they have posted and was 3 inches shorter and 100# heavier than what he/she represented themselves to be...come on back in here then and try to rationalize lying...you can't because there is no rational for it!!!...a lie is a lie is a lie...PERIOD!!!
OH MY!!! Now there is the truth. And it's happened to me. One "athletic" man showed up with ta tas bigger than mine. In the end, I told him that I wasn't as upset about his weight as I was about the lie. That was the truth, the old photo, the lies about being at the gym everyday, not to mention the lie about the actual weight. I felt embarrassed for him and for me because I had NO clue who he was. A very wise friend of mine once told me something that I do to this day. He said to put my "average" pictures online. Undersell and overdeliver. So, since then, I post the pictures that represent me. What I do and what I look like at various times, places, etc. No need to lie, if I were to actually meet someone, I'd hate for them to walk by not knowing it's me. Likewise, I don't want that to happen when I am meeting someone, what a terrible thing to do to someone else.  | |
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Well, that was yesterday, this is today, and I guess today you're proud to put 46 on your profile! Psssttt... You've been found out! And, as VGE has stated, its all about LYING, as you've just demonstrated! 