| Will successful women date a less sucessful man?
Posted: 4/16/2006 7:52:02 PM | I've had the opposite problem-I was a waitress with a college degree married to a guy with with a college degree. I got a tech degree, he got an mba, but he couldn't get a "better" job than me... it turned out he hated my guts for it, but didn't tell me, until I left, and he finally told me "the truth". Can you say "passive-aggressive"?
I know this is a capitalist society, but questions like these make my teeth grind...I dislike the assumption that a female or a male becomes elitist if they "get themself sum education". I grew up poor in rural Wisconsin, and getting a college education with loans, a scholarship, work study, summer jobs, etc did not make me sneer at others without a college education. Actually, getting a college degree was frowned on by my community, since why would a woman need an education since she was "just going to be married"..jesus.
Okay, I'll "hop up" on my soap box for a second: I worked as a "professional" for a number of years, but hated it, so I quit the corporate world, worked less hours, did what I loved and was broke, but happy. I've been back & forth between dirt poor (minimum wage) and a professional income and have dated a student, a park ranger, water meter reader, nursing instructor, and a networking software engineer. Most of the time I made a lot more money than the other person...it's not what they did or their income that mattered, but whether they were funny, interesting, mentally challenging, and were they still trying to learn.
"Hops down" | |
|
Bk2
|
Joined: 4/15/2006
Msg: 152 | |
| Will successful women date a less sucessful man?
Posted: 4/16/2006 8:12:46 PM | 
Would a successful woman date a less successful man -Definitely.
Success to me concerns family -nothing financial or materialistic -reasoning, have heard a great number of persons who are successful by your terms state they missed it in life.... they missed a love that was true, and settle for second best....might of been for status....
Personally, the wonderful people on this site searching for that special someone....might not be as successful as we all think.......
The question is: Would a truly successful and intelligent women give all that she has to live a full life with true love -her true love? In doing so she would definitely be successful.
0:)
 | |
|
| Will successful women date a less sucessful man?
Posted: 4/16/2006 8:17:41 PM | I will never date a woman without education as i need the comunication factor in a relation and be able to talk about anything and/or everything with her.
Now, having an education, chances are that she is sucessful in her own way professionaly; and it is good as that part of her is complete and fullfilled.
So if it is right for me, i think that it is right for her too. | |
|
| Will successful women date a less sucessful man?
Posted: 4/16/2006 8:54:14 PM | | Very well said UPROCK.I want to point out that in the city I live I have talked to quite oa few woman on this site.I often have an IM conversation and all goes well until they ask me what I do for a living.I tell them I am a shipper/receiver forklift operator and all of a sudden there is a long silent period and they say I have to go now.And yeah how many goddamn pair of shoes do some of these woman need.I ahve had so many brush me off because I tell them I haven't been to College or University and I will add that a lot of you woman out there are missing out on some good men for those reasons. | |
|
| Will successful women date a less sucessful man?
Posted: 1/22/2008 10:39:33 AM | Interesting topic Irish Fellow. I would date a someone if their personality matched mine - because at the end of the day, money and prestige can easily be earned, but a true fit can't be forced.
Check out: http://sophiasparx.blogspot.com/ - she seems to have an interesting debate open! | |
|
| Will successful women date a less sucessful man?
Posted: 1/22/2008 1:29:04 PM | I am very "successful" by the standards set forth in your initial post, but genuinely try to define success the way in which Emerson did. This is my favorite piece:
SUCCESS
--- (Perhaps inaccurately attributed to) Ralph Waldo Emerson
To laugh often and to love much;
To win the respect of intelligent people
and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics
and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty,
to find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better,
whether by a healthy child,
a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breathed easier
because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded. | |
|
jf468
|
Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 157 | |
| |
| Will successful women date a less sucessful man?
Posted: 1/22/2008 1:36:44 PM | | I think that only a true tool would assess a person's worth via their bank account. I've known true hearts of gold who were broke as hell...and true sons-of-b1tch fudgepackers who were loaded. If you find a heart (and soul) of gold, you'd better hold on for dear life...those are very hard to find, but don't ask me...I'm just an a$$hole. Love, Titus | |
|
| Will successful women date a less sucessful man?
Posted: 1/22/2008 3:01:48 PM | well i wouldnt say im a fully fledged sucessful female yet
but one in the making and to be fair why does it matter what a person earns or their role is?
iv dated a carpenter and im now with someone who works for railway system wheras im studying for a law degree, but to be fair why the hell does the difference matter? personally i dont rate a potential partner on their job as at the end of the day thats not who they are, personality is key
the most inelligent person i know is now a garbage disposal man, he used to be a professor at a great university but he wasnt happy so changed to a job tht makes him him happy and relaxed,if opon meeting this man all ladies thought oh hes a garbage disposal man he musnt be very smart , not very driven.. then in actuality these common stereotypes are completly false and worthless, women would fail to give him a chance due to his job title, yet he is still the same person, except now hes happier
i know id rather go for the happier more relaxed version.. | |
|
| Will successful women date a less sucessful man?
Posted: 1/22/2008 3:43:44 PM | I have read the entire thread here and it has been very rewarding.
I am 32 years old, and for the past 7 years I have only dated and been with 3 different women, ALL over 40 less than 50.
All 3 of them very successful, one held a P.H.D. in psychology.
I am not yet successful, but I too am in the making. I can assure you, that if a woman loves you, it is not a matter of how much you make---of course nobody whether you are a man or female, wants to support a lazy bum---she will enjoy your company.
Many seek a challenging stimulating conversation, inner happiness, honesty, and you don't need to have tons of degrees sitting on your wall to be inversed IMO
Emilio | |
|
| Will successful women date a less sucessful man?
Posted: 1/22/2008 3:44:23 PM | I have read the entire thread here and it has been very rewarding.
I am 32 years old, and for the past 7 years I have only dated and been with 3 different women, ALL over 40 less than 50.
All 3 of them very successful, one held a P.H.D. in psychology.
All 3 of them have been a true pleasure to be and grow with.
I am not yet successful, but I too am in the making. I can assure you, that if a woman loves you, it is not a matter of how much you make---of course nobody whether you are a man or female, wants to support a lazy bum---she will enjoy your company.
Many seek a challenging stimulating conversation, inner happiness, honesty, and you don't need to have tons of degrees sitting on your wall to be inversed IMO
Emilio | |
|
| Will successful women date a less sucessful man?
Posted: 1/22/2008 4:26:21 PM | Well, let's see... 15 yrs ago I was a partner in a firm, made great money, worked obscene hours and loved every single moment of it. (later cashed out and shifted careers so I had the time to be the mum I wanted to be).
I had been in relationships with an antique refinisher, a writer, a TV producer and a tech support guy... and married an educated immigrant who had been a professional in his former country but was then washing windows and driving cab while he started life over in a new country. My new bf isn't in the corporate world, and has a career he loves although the hours in his field can be fairly rigorous at times.
Went into relationship with all of them for who they are as people... not for the careers they had or money they made. All were (most especially my new fellow) wildly interesting people who were/are great conversationalists with an interesting perspective on people and life. | |
|
| Will successful women date a less sucessful man?
Posted: 1/22/2008 4:31:29 PM |
I wonder is its a case that sucessful women don't want to date anything but a more successful man. That cuts the opportunities down considerablly.
OP, you just answered your own question. That's exactly the way it usually works. Of course, "success" can be determined by any number of criteria, but at the end of the day, it's the big picture that counts. If a woman sees herself as a powerful career entity with the world at her fingertips, there's a 99.4871% (Actual Statistic. Source: Thin air) chance that's she's not going to date a blue collar factory worker.
And there's the irony of it all. Practically every day, there's an article printed somewhere by a career woman who looks around in bewilderment at the realization that "There are no good men left." Well, there were some good men out there, sis, until you looked down your nose at them on your way to the top. Now that you've surpassed them and they aren't "good enough" anymore, what do you expect?
Here's an even greater irony. Most women who pursue a career will do so right out of college. They'll start on the career path, thinking that they can still settle down (i.e. "settle" for someone) once they hit their mid to late 30's. Then they find that all of the men are either married, in a relationship, or "beneath" them. Wouldn't it make a lot more sense to get married, have children, and then pursue the career after the kids are older? Not only would that make a much better life for their young children, but it would also give them a higher level of emotional grounding for tackling a career in the first place.
And just for the record, I fully support a woman having any career of her choice but I also think that some decisions need to be made and some options considered. That is, maybe they should consider the higher availability of decent men in their younger years, men that they can grow with as a partner which would also give them more inspiration and support for that future career or whatever they decide to pursue. | |
|
| Will successful women date a less sucessful man?
Posted: 1/22/2008 4:51:27 PM | ^^^ Excellent points Warrior. For my part, I don't think I would have had the emotional grounding for a kid until my thirties. And certainly, one does not have to put off having a relationship while building a career.
It is easier to slow down an established career to have kids, and then resume it. Than it is to start the career later in life. Might be to men's advantage if more women worked this way as it would cut down on support payments if they divorced.
I guess it eally just comes down to how you view your life... I know several powerful women who are in relationship with men who hold more blue collar or otherwise "lessor" jobs... and I know several who would never, ever consider them.
A few months ago, I walked with a woman friend across a parking lot to pick up her Jag... the parking lot attendant tried to pick her up and she smiled and waved as she walked by him. As we drove away, she said I don't know whether to applaud them for their initiative or say "WHAT are you thinking? are you out of your freakin' mind?? !!"
All kinds of people in the world... find the one where you fit together. | |
|
| Will successful women date a less sucessful man?
Posted: 1/22/2008 5:17:25 PM | In my experience even successful women are willing to date a less successful man. ...if he has ambition, and motivation to better himself and his life.
It has less to do with the amount of money a man has than it does with the dedication to improve himself.
Even though women strive for equality they still want to be with a man who has goals and stability in his own life. Relationships are started with the possibility in mind that eventually you might settle down. Roles have not changed that drastically where jobless men are considered to be good potential partners. | |
|
| Will successful women date a less sucessful man?
Posted: 1/22/2008 5:19:47 PM | I am a college-educated woman. However, I don't feel the need to date ONLY white-collar/college-educated men. That does not define a person or their level of intellect.
Some very successful business people have not had much of an education. That's not to say that I am NOT pro-education/career development. But we cannot rule out a person merely because of their education, etc............
I look for someone who is passionate about what he does, ambitious (but not looking to conquer the world), can carry a conversation, not superficial, is an overall good person and not full of himself.
Someone that contributes to this crazy world we live in in his own way(s) is someone that I find totally attractive/intriguing. Not just living to climb the corp ladder and break the bank. | |
|
| Will successful women date a less sucessful man?
Posted: 1/22/2008 5:43:19 PM | I think making this kind of relationship work may have more to do with the man than the woman sometimes.
I'm "successful" by the usual definition and, in another lifetime while in university, I married a mechanic. It didn't work. He felt intimidated, resented the time I spent working towards my degree, and that translated into him trying to assert his control over me at home. He wasn't a bad guy, he was just a young guy who ended up in a position he was not at all comfortable with.
Since that time, I've dated people outside of the usual "professional" circle and sooner or later it breaks down. My sense has been that the man has ultimately needed to be the stronger party in the relationship, whether that means he needs to earn more money or have the higher perceived status or simply have more control in the overall relationship. My theory has been substantiated by the men directly going into relationships with women who are typically in a more traditional career and take a fairly submissive role in the relationship.
For me, I would date a person who's not a traditional professional but from past experience, I have to say that for a relationship to work in the long haul, the man needs to believe in his soul that he's "successful" in whatever he does so he doesn't feel intimidated by what I do or feel any need whatsoever to compete with me. | |
|
| Will successful women date a less sucessful man?
Posted: 1/22/2008 6:03:35 PM | Sorry, I didn't read all the posts.
I'm sure the woman's personality type figures into it greatly!
However, my general feeling is that women would be less likely
then a man to have a less successful partner. Men do it all the time.
I don't see it happening often with women. | |
|
| Will successful women date a less sucessful man?
Posted: 1/22/2008 6:06:16 PM | Uprock82,
women have got confused and with there new and exciting financial independance and are getting money success and happiness all mixed up...
1- you dont need alot of money to be happy
2- women will be struggling with this for along time to come..as men are bieng de valued in are society by them
Sorry, but women today are not 'confused' with their financial independence. Women are quite aware that when you have financial independence, you do not have to put up with the crap that our mothers or grandmothers had to put up. We can walk out the door, or put their stuff out the front door. And men, you know who you are......
And I would disagree with 1 , ...money can buy quite a bit of a happiness. :-)
I think women are starting to catch on that you don't need to be in a 'relationship' or be with someone ...to be happy.
Suppose that has left a few men alone,.. feeling unwanted, and undervalued.  | |
|
| |
| Will successful women date a less sucessful man?
Posted: 1/22/2008 6:26:47 PM | Pretty narrow minded, don't u think???? To assume because I dont have a college
degree I'm stupid ??!! By the way; all men (man kind) was created equal. I really have
a problem with "my equal". U sound like a lot of women who populate this site. !! | |
|
| Will successful women date a less sucessful man?
Posted: 1/22/2008 6:39:23 PM | I was out in a club years ago and sat at a table with two women because the place was packed. They took to me well enough till they found out I had a blue collar job. The funny thing was that I probably pulled in more in a year than the pair of them.
Now that I have moved up in life I rub shoulders with a number of successful women. I really have not notice they are any different in their choice of men than women in more modest positions. If you are prettier you go for the better looking guys and the rest make due with the rest of us. | |
|
| |
| Will successful women date a less sucessful man?
Posted: 1/22/2008 9:41:03 PM | I would imagine it depends upon the individual...In my family, a successful woman tends to be extremely picky of the man she chooses...That must be why they're still alone...
This money and stature garbage is for the birds, as far as I'm concerned...Just because someone is successful...doesn't mean they're going to share their lives with ANYONE...if they wish not to... | |
|
| |
Home
login 
