| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 7/3/2006 1:11:46 PM |
Woooooooooooo-hoooooooooooo-weeeeeeeeeeeee dauchsie . . . this 56 year old agrees with you 100% on that statement!
And I think part of the reason is that the men of our age prefer to take the time to spoil their ladies in bed. Can't say I've met who's libido wasn't fully active and raring to go And this 57 year old has to agree.
And BTW ... there's nothing wrong with that at all. Bring on the "pleasers" ... we can handle it!
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 7/3/2006 2:06:56 PM | I've been plowing thru this forum and my analysis is that Cotter has it together well.
Now, speaking for myself: At the tender age of 63, it is a fact that I do not have the same libido as I did at 30 or even 50. Also, selfish sex isn't the least rewarding. Maturbation works just as well and and can be more pleasurable. Pleasing my partner is at least as important as pleasing myself and when we are both pleased, nothing is better. Nothing is more stimulating to me than to know that partner is also stimulated. If she is hot, you can bet that I will have no problem rising to the occasion. | |
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 7/3/2006 5:45:56 PM |
I've been plowing thru this forum and my analysis is that Cotter has it together well. Bestill my heart ... Graybeard ... flattery will get you everything.
Pleasing my partner is at least as important as pleasing myself and when we are both pleased, nothing is better. Nothing is more stimulating to me than to know that partner is also stimulated. Why do all these wonderful "pleasers" live so doggone far away?
If she is hot, you can bet that I will have no problem rising to the occasion. Now that was worth coming back in here to read ... that is just so hot! | |
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 2/25/2007 6:01:52 AM | Some men have low libidos. Some women have low libidos. You need to find out if you're sexually compatible before any real serious commitment can occur.
If you're looking for first-date sex, then say so. Many women enjoy that. Some don't. Again, it's compatability you're seeking. | |
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 2/25/2007 8:28:55 AM | Lipstick Sunsets said:
I’ve read some posts from older gents that claim that their role in making love or having sex is really to “please” their partner. So in reading what I have here in POF, does this mean older men can live without sex???? Does it also mean that older men do not exercise their right to a high libido and are willing to just get by pleasing their partner?????
Speaking only for myself you understand, but I do have a high sex drive. The thing is, I also am very mature about sex and believe that my needs don't always need to come first. I'm always willing to "Please" my S.O. more than myself because I"m more giving now than I was in my younger days, when all I wanted was to have my way and then fall asleep!  I was a real turd when it came to stuff like that.
Over the years of learning what it really means to be a man, I've changed, and now care more about "pleasing" than "receiving". I'd like to think that makes me a better person along with being a better lover. | |
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 2/25/2007 8:47:12 AM |
If you're looking for first-date sex, then say so. Many women enjoy that. Some don't. Again, it's compatability you're seeking. I totally agree ... if you are looking for first-date sex ...
.... put it in your profile
in BOLD CAPITAL LETTERS ... like that.
Anyone need help learning how to do that? I'll be glad to tell you.
OT ...
I can only refer you back to my previous posts. | |
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 2/25/2007 8:48:16 PM | Nervouswrecked, pleasing your partner is not a phrase in this case, remember I asked the question. Don’t assume I misinterpreted what I’ve heard directly from men as well as what I’ve read here in the forums.
i really was shocked that a person could have taken something and twisted it into a sexual-dysfunction problem, to get attention. let alone the insults you may have rendered to other members for being open to giving their partner a front seat in their life.....grow up........before posting such a ridiculous remark......
Actually it’s not a ‘ridiculous remark’. I would ask you to review your reaction to my posts and do a check on your behavior. Where are the cutting remarks coming from?
As a physiologist, I’m laughing a lot about these posts. The problems related only concern 10% of the male population and 20% of the female population of those over 50 years old. And, for most, in both sexes, that is easily corrected.
How do we want to poke fun at each other and how little we wish to help someone we like. Wow! You have taught me a lot here.
As with any physical problem, I think that if you are not part of the fix, you are part of the problem. I see that here.
Am surprised with the attitude shown here and the mentality of the reactions. Dbndon, I would think someone like yourself would be up on the latest in American journal of Medicine. Stats are now, 52% of men over the age of 45 will have Ed. I would strongly suggest that before you start posturing, you need to be ahead with the latest information.
CDN Guy
And sorry, OP … you know I seldom disagree with any of your posts, but I don’t see where there’s a logical leap to wanting to live without sex, lo libido or anything like degrading my role to just wanting to ‘get by’, by pleasing my partner. I couldn’t think of anything farther from the truth. I mean geez !! … I’m busy, d*mmit … and we all know how lousy the male sex is at multi-tasking.
My intention was not to degrade your role as a man by just getting by, stop multitasking and let the power of a woman consume you. It easy once you let it happen.
I noticed none of you men said anything about how the lady’s attitude towards her sexuality/sensuality effects your wanting to please. It appears there is a silent mechanism that turns on in the case that you might be needed. | |
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 3/5/2007 10:34:01 AM | Certainly. I can see your point.
you wrote -- My intention was not to degrade your role as a man by just getting by, stop multitasking and let the power of a woman consume you. It easy once you let it happen.
I noticed none of you men said anything about how the lady’s attitude towards her sexuality/sensuality effects your wanting to please. It appears there is a silent mechanism that turns on in the case that you might be needed. | |
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 3/5/2007 10:05:53 PM | wow.. I think at 48.. my sexual drive is finally slowing down...
Nawwww... not after I thought about it.
I think sexual compatability is very important and that is from someone who has had two husbands who did not have the same "drive" as I had therefore making me feel like a nypho... Now I realize I was the "normal one" they were not at the time. They were not old enough to not want it... they just lost interest (workaholics)... and when they did.. I gained a divorce...
That may sound terrible.. but... at the time I needed that physical love just as much as the other, which actually neither of them were very good at ... what the hell did I marry them for???? Geez.. must have been a brain fart the second time!!! | |
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 3/6/2007 7:39:14 AM | Actually, the older I have gotten, the more I have learned about pleasing a Woman, plus I can pace myself to please her. I find it exciting to excite her with nibbles and soft feather touches here and there, mostly there.. Playing her body and mind like a violin, making music like artwork while repeatedly taking her to the brink of passion and breathless gasps.. letting her explode a few times and squirm until its my time to match her final organsm, then I like to cuddle sweetly and wind down with little kisses to her neck, cheeks, breasts and shoulders til she purrs..
Then I need a smoke for a few minutes till its time to go at it again..
To me there is nothing more beautiful than a Woman sharing her body with me.. | |
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 3/6/2007 8:10:12 AM | http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts6749871.aspx
Could you cuddle if it didn't lead to sex?
That's another thread that could be similar to this one ...
While it doesn't discuss "pleasing" the woman in the same manner as this one does ...
... it still touches on the fact that even "cuddling" is very pleasing and no "bedroom gymnastics" even have to take place.
It doesn't mean that the man's libido is low ... it just means that the "pleasing" aspect is more in place ... the "front runner" so to speak.
One gentleman in there put it quite nicely ...
Call me crazy, but hey, I figure cuddling is better than sex. (yeh, ego aside boys, try and have sex for as long as you can cuddle..ain't gonna happen) He's only 27 years old ... but he already has the clue.
He already realizes that it's not just about "actual sex" ... it's about the closeness we feel with our partner as well. We don't have to have "wild monkey sex" in order to achieve that. | |
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 3/6/2007 8:30:57 AM |
That may sound terrible.. but... at the time I needed that physical love just as much as the other, which actually neither of them were very good at ... what the hell did I marry them for???? Geez.. must have been a brain fart the second time!!!
I applaud you mesnafugal for speaking your truth Like you Mes, I would be of the same thinking.
Having had the experience of dating a man that appeared to have all the qualities I was looking for, the sexual drive was not there as frequently as I wanted. I realize now what it was and what I might have been screening for along with compatibility. My filters have realigned themselves . | |
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 3/6/2007 7:13:47 PM | Well Lipstick, I'm glad to say that I prefer to be honest with myself and the person I'm with and If I'm with someone... if for compatibility.. then ok I don't need as much sex, but I am truely in love with the man.. then sex IS very important to me.. I have a need... or as you might say, I have an itch that needs to be scratched!!!
After reading slims.. explanation of what he's learned.. I need a cigarette and I don't even smoke.. *whew*... | |
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 3/6/2007 7:46:23 PM | I was once involved with a man who did have an extremely low libido and he wasn't all that old either. In the end, it didn't work out for many reasons, including the absolute lack of sex of any kind.
Yes, I love to cuddle and snuggle, but if you start revving my engine by introducing something that's more foreplay than cuddling and you keep doing that, then, you'd better be willing to go down the sexual path with me. That doesn't always have to mean intercourse, but I hated to be left wishin' for what never happened.
Thank goodness I've found a normal man (he's 66) whose libido is still functioning just fine. And I believe that most men have learned to be more giving with age. Nothing at all wrong with wanting to be pleasing. | |
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 3/6/2007 8:38:09 PM | ""Yes, I love to cuddle and snuggle, but if you start revving my engine by introducing something that's more foreplay than cuddling and you keep doing that, then, you'd better be willing to go down the sexual path with me. That doesn't always have to mean intercourse, but I hated to be left wishin' for what never happened.""
Now here is a woman who can appreciate the drag races.....varoom..........
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 3/16/2007 5:56:52 PM | | It may have more to do with being more polite! It's more difficult for a man, I think, to continue to concentrate on the woman AFTER he has gotten off. So if he is going to take care of her, he just about has to take care of her FIRST.... The older I get the more thoughtful I hope I'm getting when it comes to pleasing a woman vs. just getting what I want. Maybe??? | |
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 3/24/2007 2:08:38 PM | | well i have a very high sex drive but i also believe both partners should feel the excitment and please each other and know when it is over that they want to feel that way every time for that makes for a wonderful loving making life and is that not what we want to make love and know both partners want to have that every time | |
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 3/24/2007 10:48:55 PM | OK...maybe I am ignorant to this...what does "Pleasing" have to do with "Low Libido"?
Pleasing is seeing that your partner is satisfied or atleast that is what I thought. You can have a HIGH sex drive or a Low sex drive and still please. I am of the mindset that she comes first...I have always been that way.
Oh, I have read some of these posts..I have to say...Cotter, you have my vote for ANYTHING you want to do. | |
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 3/30/2007 8:27:34 AM | Yes, I must admit, I did "trip over" the title of this thread myself. Older men pleasing ... low libido -- huh ??
I've known since I was in my early 20's that it was my 'job' to please and satisfy my mate sexually during times of intimacy -- best job I've ever had too, I might add. Yeah ... I know, this sounds like a "Date me! Date me!" line, but I long ago stopped worrying about my own body during lovemaking and instead concentrated fully on learning the needs of my partner and doing my best to satisfy them. As it turned out, I found it was the woman's body that aroused me sexually and not my own. Go figger, huh ? And then, came the realization that there are women out there who feel the same way as I do, and if I happen to be fortunate enough to have one as a sexual partner, my sexual needs get taken care of rather nicely, actually -- no need to break my concentration on what I find pleasurable -- my partner.
And what all this has to do with low libido is like wondering what the CD player in my car has to do with tonight's dinner.
cdn guy | |
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 3/30/2007 8:56:56 AM | As usual... too many pages to read it all. But I will tack up my 2-bits worth anyway.
I don't get this? Whats with all the gratuitous rhtoric about being so selfless..and concerned...and only caring about my partners satisfaction..and on and on??? I don't believe a darn word of it. And furthermore... thats not the way its supposed to be, either. I'm not ashamed of, or harbor the slightest guilt that I am just as concerned about my own sexual gratification as I am my partners. !!! Whats wrong with that? Nothing. Good lovemaker's enter into sex with the idea that they and their partner are going to get what they want..and they are successful. Period.
the operative words here are...Balance...Equality...and maybe, holistic. Sacrifice, selflessness, servatude.. and the like, are the counterproductive (inoperative) terms, in my opinion.
and another thing? Are all you guys (and gals) who keep spouting that you can 'service' yourselves just as good as you can having actual sex...... SERIOUS????? Unfortuately, I am far more familiar with this brand of 'release' than real sex...during the last years...However, I would never be so bold or outrageous as to pronounce that this is as good as feeling the flesh of a woman!! sheesh. Absurd. | |
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 3/30/2007 10:06:58 AM | Hear, hear, by this time we mature males (god that sounds odd coming from me) have discovered we can now enjoy doing all night what we used to do all night. And our lucky partner is more than not happier for it also.
I'm not as good as I once was, but I'm better once than I ever was... Love and peace you all  | |
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 3/30/2007 11:07:07 AM | | This thread totally baffles me. My experience has been that I want to please while being pleased. Works every time. What does age have to do with it? Don't know. Ain't that old yet. Experience? Yeah, that is where it is at. Although the back seat of a 442 fades in my memory, the pleasure was still all mine/his. Older men, I'll have to admit that my new otto is "go slow, I like it low". Oh my doodness, I have been alone way too long. Where is the thread for griping? I change my purple wristband hourly. | |
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