| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 7/4/2007 1:02:07 PM | | I would venture to guess, that a person who has low libido would have a hard time pleasing anyone , besides ... what has pleasing a woman have to do with low libido .... lol .... have you not heard the expression, they who give ... get exponentially ... lol ... I'm sure some older men and women can live without sex ... notice the word SOME | |
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 7/4/2007 4:33:20 PM | | Into my 50's and the desire is still strong. I believe a male's decling libido, besides medical reasons, is a result of his partner no longer responding to him as before and the feelings of rejection, inadequacy cause lack of confidence and desire declines. If he responds by trying harder to please his partner, and is successful, the reward might be more sex. If there is no success the relationship is doomed. | |
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 7/5/2007 5:33:30 PM | I dont know about you guys but the men over 50 that I have encountered seem to know what they are doing..and do a dang good job at that as well..
Seduction begins in the brain..if you cant seduce someone there...your not going to be able to do it in the bedroom.. | |
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 7/5/2007 9:27:36 PM | | Don't know what other's intentions are, but I love to please, since I was a youngin, still do and I have to say I enjoy my partner pleasing me too. I do however prefer giving pleasure. | |
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 7/6/2007 1:40:27 AM | I understsand your need to ask this question because statements don't come across the 'net clear-cut, or without a "Hmm, what does THAT mean?"
I have always assumed this statement from a man to mean that they are at the age where they have learned to slow down and thoroughly enjoy focusing on a women's needs prior to their own and/or intercourse (unlike perhaps how they were in their younger years)?
I never considered other things. I just figured they are giving a heads up (no pun intended  ) that you will feel spoiled if you ever get around to making love. | |
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bayrab
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Joined: 5/16/2007
Msg: 306 | |
| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 7/6/2007 7:04:30 AM | smooth devil, you are right on with your assessment IMHO.
pepperman, it works both ways. sometimes the woman gets tired of trying to raise some interest. in my former marriage, his low libido had nothing to do with lack of responsiveness by me. He simply wasn't interested and it was not up for discussion.
I'm learning on here that this is not typical of men over 50, thank goodness! | |
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 7/7/2007 9:20:37 AM | | I'm curious if this changes with a 70 year old male? How one knows for sure "if he's just not that into you..." low libido, or he's just not that into ANYONE? Any ideas? | |
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 7/7/2007 9:37:35 AM | | Hey, SassieBlond, I know plenty of men over 70 who have a very high libido. As far as your question goes I do not know how to tell if its low libido or just not into anyone but I would reject him either way. I can tell you one thing for sure, I am sooooo glad sex does not have to stop after 60. | |
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 7/10/2007 6:09:27 AM | This thread's been going a long time now and I still can't make any sense how these two things got linked together. I don't know if I'm the 'norm' for the male sex or not, but when I go about 'pleasing' the woman I'm with -- which I always try to be very sure that I do, I might add -- well ... it drives me 'nuts'. I get so turned on. Are there really men out there that just 'please' their partner then say: "OK, you're done. Now let's get back to what we were doing." I keep getting this vision of me asking my lady friend to get naked, lay back in the bed, bring her a cup of tea and her favourite Dean Koontz novel and saying: "Here you go, dear. Now just lay back and read for a while. I'll be finished up in a bit." I mean, really ... are there guys out there who just want to 'please' their lady and don't get any desire to be 'pleased' themselves ?? I really don't understand. I was always under the understanding that low libido meant not wanting to engage in any aspect of sex, either as the 'pleaser' or 'pleasee'.
cdn guy | |
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 7/10/2007 7:42:33 AM |
and I still can't make any sense how these two things got linked together..........
are there guys out there who just want to 'please' their lady and don't get any desire to be 'pleased' themselves ?? I really don't understand. I was always under the understanding that low libido meant not wanting to engage in any aspect of sex, either as the 'pleaser' or 'pleasee'.
Exactly what I was projecting.....you have made sense of the statements....lol
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 7/10/2007 2:34:33 PM | 2coldhands ~~ Wrote this a ways back. Fits here, lol!
Kiddles, listen up
Love at twenty is a piccolo,
pleasing and piercing.
At thirty-five, a string quartet,
sweet and mellow
Over sixty?
Full orchestra
Carnegie Hall
Toscanini
harmonics of a lifetime
9/15/2005 | |
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 7/10/2007 3:37:31 PM | Im not so sure where I fit into the *older gent* catagory BUTT ;)
and YES you are making generalizations BUTT!
even at our age WE like ...OH MY GOD WE SO LIKE... a little,a lot
Now ASSide from commin off as a general discription of want to please...
Let's ASSume that as we grow older we realize it's not all *Wham bam ty Mame*
She is that *Angelic*,that lingering taste,that unexplained so tasteful *want*
Lipstick Sunsets become such a need that *to please her* is to be with her!
She becomes that sunset,that sunrise,that goodmorning kiss,her eyes so sentual,her arms so inviting... Cccccold shower!!!!! 4 two! (damnit why is the water so Hot)
pssssstttt What women can do,so can Men ;)
*it's * NOT just about,We Have evolved just like You taught US ;) | |
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 7/12/2007 8:29:47 AM | | I think it's a marketing device, trying to "sell" their abilities/prowess as if they were doing an infomercial. I wonder how many of their former partners would claim it to be false advertising or that the engine functions well but the steering and linkage are faulty? Personally, that kind of focus from the jumpstart I find tacky. The brain is our largest and most important sex organ. I want to know what inventory is available in the heart, mind and soul. That would be a greater indicator of how much a person is willing to give and please. smiles. | |
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 7/12/2007 8:56:18 AM | I am over 50, and the libido is not what it used to be. I am giving my OP therefore mainly on memory!....
To me lovemaking is the ultimate form of communication between partners.
Would I not short change the relationship and sabotage open communication if my only goal was to please my partner?
Love and sex are a two way street ..in or out of bed
Regards
Robert | |
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 7/12/2007 9:52:49 AM | "PrimeWoman" wrote:
I think it's a marketing device, trying to "sell" their abilities/prowess as if they were doing an infomercial. I wonder how many of their former partners would claim it to be false advertising or that the engine functions well but the steering and linkage are faulty? Personally, that kind of focus from the jumpstart I find tacky. I totally agree ... I've met some who advertise just that ... "love to please my lady", "I'm not done 'til she's done" ... and while that kind of "advertising" in the profile is quite tacky, I have still ventured out to meet them.
I have found some to be quite selfish, self-centered individuals. IMO if they are exhibiting that kind of behavior while just out on a casual "meet and greet" to have a mere cup of coffee ... I can well imagine that sharing time with them in the bedroom would be a nightmare ... NO THANKS!!!! | |
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 7/12/2007 10:19:49 AM | I think it's a marketing device, trying to "sell" their abilities/prowess as if they were doing an infomercial........ Personally, that kind of focus from the jumpstart I find tacky. The brain is our largest and most important sex organ. I want to know what inventory is available in the heart, mind and soul. That would be a greater indicator of how much a person is willing to give and please. smiles. And many women stand to applaud what that says!!
I am one of them. 
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 7/12/2007 10:26:48 AM | | cdn, there are people, male and female, who get such a rush of sexual pleasure and release in pleasuring their partner that they themselves are fully satisfied, content, glowing, happy, and well pleased. | |
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 7/12/2007 3:31:47 PM | I can only speak for myself ,but in pleasing my partner I am also stimulating my self. The more my partner is pleased the more satisfying it is for me. It makes the experence far more erotic and far better to enjoy the pleasure my partner shares with me. As a younger man foreplay was getting my pants off. As an older man I find that foreplay is as important as intercourse. Yes I do enjoy a very high libido but for all around pleasure the slower the simmer the better the soup.
I think what most men are saying is that they have learned that pleasing someone is not just having sex but taking the time to make the experience enjoyable for both.
And yes i still get horny at the crack of dawn....lol | |
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 7/12/2007 6:22:56 PM | | I myself was with a man for the last 20 years and he had his ups and downs ...If you know what I mean. He did try viagra and other stimulaters at times and was disappointed with his self. I tried to be supportive but all the while wishing it was like it was when I was younger. I still dream and have hot sex in them that is fulfilling but in real life it just wasn't happening for me. we recently split and grew apart and can't wait to find the right one to fulfill my needs in my age range but if not may have to go younger. Stay strong older men and don't lose your drive cause it is important. | |
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 7/12/2007 6:52:41 PM |
cdn, there are people, male and female, who get such a rush of sexual pleasure and release in pleasuring their partner that they themselves are fully satisfied, content, glowing, happy, and well pleased. Yes, I suppose I should stand corrected on this, Ms. Robyn (msg. 317). It was a blanket generalization and I'm supposed to know better. Just that, whenever I've ever spent time in the 'happy place', things just seem to 'come up'. Can't help it. It's hard to talk about things not in my own experience.
cdn guy | |
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 7/12/2007 7:02:40 PM |
To me lovemaking is the ultimate form of communication between partners.
Would I not short change the relationship and sabotage open communication if my only goal was to please my partner?
Love and sex are a two way street ..in or out of bed
Making love is one of the only true gifts I can give that is unfettered, impossible to put a price on, and at the same time an ultimate expression of who I am and how I feel about the person I am making love with.
There is no piece of jewelry, no bouquet of flowers, or box of chocolates that compares to the complete gift of release of love from one heart to another. It's in the soft touch, a fleeting glance, and the low liquid rumble of laughter in your belly. It is not contrived, rarely premeditated, and typically spontaneous. Real love just is and everyone who experiences it, knows it. | |
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 7/12/2007 7:11:07 PM | I repeat myself...sorry.
I was with a man who claimed my physical appearance ( short, round, brown hair, big tits) was a turn off for him. Funny, thats what I was when he first climbed into my bed! After three years, he finally admitted he had never had a libido to truly speak of. I had even had this confirmed by one of his former "lovers"...she said "it was alot of work". She only bedded him a few times in less than a month, yet he spoke of it as having been alot and for an extended period. I later realized this was a fictious story he created in his own mind and one he used to demean me.
Later, I was with a man who was his senior by several years. Our love making would be excellent fodder for a very hot and steamy true love story.
Sometimes, we would "take a break". By that I mean, he would want to make love but was unable to "complete" the task...in his favor. I would respond by saying "lets just enjoy the touching"...he would respond by more affection. And then we would fall to sleep in each others arms. Sometimes I would wake up because he was kissing me.
I believe that is what some of the gentlemen here mean.
The libido is still there, its just we all need to recognize when snuggling and touching is really all we need at the time. | |
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 7/27/2007 10:35:25 PM | Just a thought here. No personal sttacks, please. I find it hard to believe that all these older folks are having as much sex as they claim. I doubt that they even think about it as much as they post on here.
before you say, "just because you don't......". I just walked away from a relationship with a woman 11 years younger, because she knew nothing about making love, only understood "screwing".
All the older people I have met have been so wrapped up in Jesus, they wouldn't dare have a sexual thought! Let alone any activity.
So come on guys, give it a rest. You all say you are looking for honesty and yet, appear to be trying to relive what is past. Sheeesh! | |
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 9/14/2007 11:45:33 AM | | It's an individual thing. Some older guys want sex as much as they did when younger, but are less selfish, and urgent, than they were earlier in life. They have learned they get more, and better, sex from a woman if they have pleased her first. | |
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