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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 1/28/2009 6:25:50 PM | I think that's true, too. To me, sex is a wonderful way that a man and a woman can express their love for each other.........that's why I believe there does have to be love there! But it's adult play, too. Laughter, pleasure, enjoyment, just having fun together......... My ex and I used to go to a motel at least once every three months and spend a weekend just playing .......... then we would go back and be Mommy and Daddy again but keeping our love alive was important to us. When a relationship is like that, pleasing happens naturally because both partners know that they are important to each other! | |
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 1/29/2009 11:28:11 AM | | Now this is something to which I can relate... if I take you query as I imagine it was intended then at least for me I believe that by this point in my life I've come to realize that meeting my needs first is not likely to inspire the passion in my mate that will likely lead to my own gratification overall... I mean slam damn thank you mam isn't really where it's at is it... taking the time and a slow hand is far more likely to generate the like in return. Where a young man might rush to his pleasure a wise older man will meander about the path and trust that just maybe, just maybe a woman if properly inspired will find ways to show what true pleasure is? Just some thoughts... do with them as you please... | |
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 1/29/2009 11:56:03 AM | well now, after reading this one sure makes a man sort of wonder?what happened .as a man in his 65 th year still trying to find a partner and yes ,all equipment still works,just fine .may not be a machine gunner any more but still works.so what is it with women when they look at me?what is it they are after ?also sorry for getting of the path here.just kind a wonder what happened to this good looking lady with her,and hubby? vic. | |
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 1/29/2009 6:24:37 PM | My experience with older men (57+)so far has been outstanding, not only do they want more to please you. And when they do I am right there to return the pleasure!
But they also are very pleasing in everyday life. But the younger one (46) can be fun!
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 1/30/2009 2:53:51 AM | As the midnight moon was drifting through
The lazy sway of the trees
I saw the look in your eyes looking into the night
Not seeing what you wanted to see.
Darling, don't say a word I've already heard
What your body is saying to mine
You're tired of fast moves
You got a slow groove on your mind.
You want a man with a slow hand
You want a lover with an easy touch
You want somebody who will spend some time
Not come and go in a heated rush
Baby, believe me I understand
When it comes to love you want a slow hand.
Moon shadowed ground with no one around
And a blanket of stars in our eyes
Hey, we're drifting free like two losties
On the crazy wind of the night.
Darling don't say a word I've already heard
What your body is saying to mine
If you want all night you know it's alright
I've got time.
You've got a man with a slow hand
You've got a lover with an easy touch
You've got somebody who will spend some time
Not come and go in a heated rush
Baby, believe me I understand
When it comes to love you want a slow hand.
You want a lover with an easy touch
You've got somebody
Who will spend some time with you baby
Not come and go in a heated rush
Baby believe me I understand
When it comes to love you want a slow hand...
Yes? YES!
I think MOST men by this stage of the game get it. Probably some younger ones do, but in my experience, the younger men are quick to want you in bed. Most gentleman want to get to know the real you. I have disappointed many a young buck because I told him NO, we weren't going there. I am more interested in a man my age (I hate that phrase, but it fits here) who had gotten to the place where he understands what it is all about and there will be conversation in the morning. Quality is sometimes better than quanity. Mindblowing a couple of times a week would be more welcome than a drive-by nightly. | |
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 2/25/2009 11:22:04 PM | Does the libido drop? Maybe not to such a low point of not wanting a regular and vigorous sex life, but I'd say yes it does, at least to the point of no longer feeling the need for an endless string of conquests.
I definitely noticed a drop in my libido, but not in a dramatic way. I noticed it most in the area of mental and physical stimulation. I'm less likely to be raring to go simply because I get a glimpse of flesh. Well... ok, sometimes I am , but not all the time! I am also far more inclined to be a much more calm and patient lover, enjoying the thrill of the connection (talking, cuddling, caressing) as much if not more than the act itself.
Pleasing her ? Um that's simply a given in my book, and is something I am more aware of since my 40s. I'd much rather it be mutual though. I'll take off the charts mutual pleasure or intense love making over the oft fantasized string of vixens any day. | |
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 2/27/2009 4:07:27 AM | | That is what I like about these forums. There are some beautiful, smart, sexy people here...................why do we all have to live so far apart? The men and women on here..both get it..pleasing your partner can enhance your pleasure........with the right partner, or course. | |
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Ninki
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Joined: 4/11/2005
Msg: 363 | |
| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 3/1/2009 11:34:55 AM |
Does it also mean that older men do not exercise their right to a high libido...
Huh? Their 'right to a high libido'? We're not meant to have high libidos all our lives, even though the makers of certain pharmaceuticals like to convince us otherwise. If you feel you're not sexually compatible, then don't have a relationship with that person.
N.
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 3/16/2009 2:00:16 AM | Only if they are dieing or can't move will a man not want sex And then they think about it like they are 18 again ! lol
My experiences with the men of 57+ yrs. are very viral and exciting to me
and are alway up for another round of fun and pleasure!!  Oh so wonderful for us lovers! Men are just men about sex and they will tell you so! hahahahahaha | |
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 3/16/2009 3:41:31 AM | I think the younger; get in, get off, get out mentality simply slows down enough later on life for a lot of men that hadn't taken the time before to smell the roses and enjoy their sensuality.
Some men are born with this talent, but in my experience it wasn't all that common on the average. | |
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 3/16/2009 3:51:37 AM | Why question the "pleasing" that older men have to offer? Could it be that experience has made them better lovers rather than limitations? Doesn't the wham bam thank you mam sex from younger days pale in comparison to mature love making?  | |
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 3/16/2009 5:57:57 AM |
man will meander about the path and trust that just maybe, just maybe a woman if properly inspired will find ways to show what true pleasure is
Both sexes have learned to stop and smell the roses............... | |
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 10/4/2009 8:08:06 AM | Prime Woman said:
I think it's a marketing device, trying to "sell" their abilities/prowess as if they were doing an infomercial. I wonder how many of their former partners would claim it to be false advertising or that the engine functions well but the steering and linkage are faulty? Personally, that kind of focus from the jumpstart I find tacky. The brain is our largest and most important sex organ. I want to know what inventory is available in the heart, mind and soul. That would be a greater indicator of how much a person is willing to give and please. smiles.
Exactly my point! Thank you Prime Woman….
Desire, want n passion is created by both partners….when it becomes a pleasing activity, it becomes just that – pleasing.
Alpha:
To me lovemaking is the ultimate form of communication between partners.
Would I not short change the relationship and sabotage open communication if my only goal was to please my partner?
Love and sex are a two way street ..in or out of bed | |
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 10/4/2009 11:03:32 AM | I’ve read some posts from older gents that claim that their role in making love or having sex is really to “please” their partner. ... does this mean older men can live without sex???? Does it also mean that older men do not exercise their right to a high libido and are willing to just get by pleasing their partner?????
First, just about every man I've been intimate with is one I've been in a relationship with. So, my experience is not of casual encounters or short term things. There was one man in my life who was very inexperienced and didn't really know enough to have this attitude, but every other man I've been with seemed to approach love making as wanting to please his partner. It seemed that pleasing his partner was the avenue to his his own pleasure. The men I've been intimate with since I was a young woman all said this, that their role in making love was to please their partner, so I don't see it as something only expressed by older men. And, hey, why object? If pleasing me is gonna make him happy, I've got no problem with that at all. 
"pleasing his partner was the avenue to his his (sic) own pleasure" sorry, I got excited..... | |
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 10/4/2009 11:21:15 AM | So amazing that such a simple concept gets scrutinized, looked at with skepticism and doubt,,,
Ask yourself this:
Do you "enjoy" it more when you know the man you're with is really enjoying sex with you, rather than just getting off?
Is it that difficult to fathom the displacement of the boy mentality with an equal or greater mans mentality that finally sees the woman as his equal counterpart and not just a play thing?
My honest regard for the women who do understand that it's not a loss of libido but a maturity that sees the woman as she should be treated,,, | |
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 10/4/2009 11:48:00 AM | I dont think it is always a maturity issue, some people have more depth than others. Some men and women never mature in some avenues of their life. To assume that everyone is like you and has found a greater depth in relationships can lead to misunderstanding...I had relationships in my 20's with men who treated me as a equal and not a plaything.
As an example, a man (52) that I dated for four months at first seem to do everything he could to please me, it was amazing until I realized he was doing it for the wrong reasons...he wanted to control and at the end honestly admitted it. In that moment of honesty I told him how much I enjoyed his touch and he then said that he touched me for his pleasure not for mine.... I have always touched the other person for their pleasure, never ever considered it otherwise....so atleast I learned something.
I think when you are with the right person it isnt about libido...its about having the type of chemisty that romance and flirting is a 24/7 things...it isnt something you do late at night when you are in bed together and cant sleep...you make it the priority in your life to make sure the other person knows they are who you want. It isnt a one sided relationship where the female is the sperm bank, it is a relationship where two open and honest people allow the other person in. | |
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 10/4/2009 1:47:01 PM |
An older man saying he wants to please his partner is about having learned the wisdom not to be selfish. Or perhaps that lust has taken a secondary role to making love.
So beautifully said. I have heard this from more than one man, and to each of them it meant something different. But, sometimes for both men and women, we get by giving. Often, pleasing your mate can be very satisfying for both. | |
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 10/4/2009 2:20:50 PM | | I don't think they necessarily have a low libido...rather a libido that doesn't work like it used to....I'm not saying every guy.......I have just run into it more often than I would have imagined...some guys are too hung up in their head over a lost love..... | |
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 10/5/2009 2:20:03 PM |
my looks changed. I am that 1 in 4 of men whose hair gets goofy, partly bald, receding, whatever you call it. I also gained a few pounds, and look older, the way people do. This means I am not anywhere near as attractive as I once was. Compared to other men, forget it.
I don't live without sex. I masturbate. I live without sex with other people. Pleasing one's partner isn't just about emotions and technique or even love. Women feel badly about themselves if all they can get is someone who looks have degraded to the point mine have. It depresses their own libido. Then, no matter how good you are in bed they can't enjoy it.
It's like having a rusty beater of a car. It makes you feel shabby, no matter whether it runs good or where you drive to. Hi libido + low sex appeal = no play.
Find this sad in so many ways. After trashing yourself, you moved on to trashing women (assuming that no woman can see anyone except for looks). I think most of us (Lard, I *hope* most of us) of either sex, by our age, have learned, finally, that it's what's inside the present, not the pizazz of glossy paper and glittery bow, that is important: mind, soul, self. . . .
My guy is shortish, bald, and chunky -- much more of a station wagon than a Maserati, lol! And there is not one molecule of that body I don't love. As for mind, self, and soul -- simply put: I adore him, and all his parts. And have waited for a quite long time to find him. Nor do I feel badly about myself. Ever. Can't even begin to imagine why I would.
But perhaps you're right -- I also drive a 15 year old Escort, and it makes me feel good, good, good: it gets 43 mpg, it still doesn't burn oil (I have *never* had to add oil -- at oil change they take out what they put in last year), the insurance and taxes are low, I have no car payments, and it has never once let me down. So I don't see either a man or a car (or the house I live in, or the clothing and jewelry I wear) as anything except for what they *are*. . . . In this case, the bright, interesting, honorable, funny, caring, tender, sexy man that I love.
You have made yourself feel like 99¢ ~~ I feel like a million bucks!
"Life is a banquet... and most poor suckers are starving to death!" -- Auntie Mame ...
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 10/5/2009 2:28:55 PM | ^^^^ on the quote
One of the men I loved the most was the least attractive, his beauty was on the inside and the connection was out of the world. Some women see with their heart not their eyes. | |
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