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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 3/29/2006 9:41:55 PM | @lostagain ...
On the other hand if your talking sexual "pleasing" and older men I think it might have a lot to do with that dreaded ED,older men we would hope will not leave you wanting. Please let me extend my deepest sympathies ... you have probably never experienced an older man in the way I have. Older men do not enjoy pleasing women because of the "dreaded" ED ... they enjoy pleasing us because it's fun, it's very satisfying, they get to take their time with us and it gives them more time with us in the sack ...
... I hope the guys jump in here and help me. They would know best why they enjoy pleasing us. I just thoroughly enjoy it that they like it so much.
I don't think libido has anything to do with ED. You've got that right ... no matter how much libido a man has, if he has ED, he will need medical help, but he will also still want you to remain by his side until the pill fully kicks in. Until the pill kicks in, he could probably take you on a very sensual rollercoaster ride ... that is if you're up for it ... it can be quite "pleasing".
... but I have experienced being wanted and being pleased,it was not a libido issue! You may be mistaken ... you might want to do some reading up on these things.
Good luck with your men ... I'll hold out for one that wants to please me, and ED will not be the subject .......... no matter what.  | |
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 3/30/2006 1:56:53 AM | | It was about a year ago your note was posted - heaven knows how i found it. Any admirer of beautyful vistas knows that the ascent to the peak rewards the effort of getting there. And even the effort is rewarding. | |
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 3/30/2006 4:24:59 PM | | I am 59, and can tell you I dont take any meds, and enjoy makeing love to a woman very much. There are a lot of men that just like to have sex, or please a woman. Its a great thing when two people can please each other, that is the way it was ment to be. | |
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 3/30/2006 5:36:44 PM | Hi. Let me add my two cents here. I guess I qualify as being older since my birth certificate says I was born in 1949. It's just that my wants, needs, and desires have not changed one bit. So I think I am really 35! lol
But seriously, My desire has never changed. However, as pointed out, the hormones have changed and it takes a lot more mental and physical stimulation to get me excited and ready. I can remember as a young boy, I'd look at pictures of bare breasted black natives in National Geographic magazine and get hard as a rock! Later on it took pictures of civilized white women to get the same results. And the first porn movies I ever saw had me ready before the intro was done! Next it was the girls in high school. Just to see her bra strap or the lace hem of her slip. If I was lucky, a glimpse of the tabs holding up her stockings. No pantyhose back then thank God! lol Then the dating and heavy petting in the back seat of my 1956 Ford Crown Victoria at the drive in. Again, a few long kisses in about 2 minutes, I was ready! Then there was the first marriage and all the hot sex I wanted. Next was a divorce at age 23 and more sex then I could handle it seemed. OK, get the picture? As we got older and more and more experienced, it took more and more to arouse me or excite me. Then as the hormones started to change, it took yet even more. it finally got to the point that I discovered my biggest turn on is in fact seeing and making a woman want and need me physically as much if not more then I need or want her. That's why i for one need to see the response of the lady I'm with. If she acted like she was having sex with me as a favor or out of duty, forget it! I'd just as soon go watch television! When I turned 50 of so, I even discovered something that may have been hidden ion me for years. I now have a strong need and desire to be sexually submissive to a special lady. Not just any lady. One that I love or at least respect, admire and or adore. Another words, very strong feelings for her. Maybe even that new found lifestyle choice was born out of my desire to totally please my woman. But that's another topic. I won't even mention my other unusual lifestyle or drive, need or whatever you want to call it. You'll have to read my profile for that.
So to sum it up. Maybe us older males finally have grown to respect and admire women more then we did as younger men when we thought mostly with the wrong head.
OK, I'll even admit it here....I'd rather perform oral sex on a woman I care about then to even have intercourse with her. I know for most women, it does more to and for them anyway. to me, it's a more intimate bond between us. So yes, maturity does make us males want to please you women much more then when our hormones were at a peak.
Let me see you hot and pleased and I am as hard as I was at age 25! *blush* | |
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 3/30/2006 5:55:15 PM | Hard headed Mandrake ole buddy? Hmmm yep that's it! Makes me hard headed where it counts the most! lol
Don't forget..God gave man two heads........ But only enough blood to operate one at a time!
And remember....When God created man.........................................SHE was only joking!
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 3/30/2006 7:06:43 PM | What Jim said ... msg. 60
And when they please us ... they can have anything they want ... 
(digging out my ticket for the rollercoaster ride ... now just have to find a man) | |
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 3/30/2006 10:16:38 PM | .
... I hope the guys jump in here and help me. They would know best why they enjoy pleasing us. I just thoroughly enjoy it that they like it so much.
Usually I do not wish to participate in threads like this, but this seems to me a much more honest discussion and not just another sex thread, so I will try it a little.
There was a time that I was a wild child. Sure, I was also a well built 6’3” 235 pound guy who was a boxer, had a black belt in Judo and carried a badge and a gun. But that didn’t make me a man. I had lived in France a few years and was rather skilled in the European methods of seduction, but that didn’t make me a man, either. Nor did taking a full load of classes every semester for eight years.
Nope, what made me a man was a little talk I had with a fantastic gal way back in the second decade of the second half of the last century. She simply announced that if I was done acting like a wild child and willing to act like a loving husband, she is mine for the duration.
Oh, and she also said, “no more sex, ever!” Only making love. And I was free to use any type of seduction I pleased, so long as it was only with her.
There was never, ever any discussion about the need to please her. Not one word of that was ever spoken because, like minded people that we were, we already knew that making love was a mutual opportunity to please each other, as well as ourselves. Nothing needed to be said.
And that included everything, not just in bed. We both worked and went to school full time. Although we never once discussed it, we both took pleasure in doing many little things for each other, whether they would be noticed or not. Which means that I also cleaned house, washed clothes, cleaned the kitchen and cooked meals so she would be able to eat properly (while studying) after a long day of work and school. Ever see a guy properly iron a white pleated skirt? This guy did a few times.
Making love, when done properly, is much more than just the action in bed. It starts with the kiss and hug in the morning, a phone call just to say hi in the afternoon. A hug and kiss on the sidewalk when I’m leaving daytime classes to go to work and she is arriving for afternoon classes from work. It’s petting her hair, kissing her eyes and all the little affectionate touches -- and my favorite, when I wanted her to want to go home soonest, romancing the hand.
Guys, you want your lady to want you to take her home very soon? Kiss her hand. First the back of her hand. Then the tips of each finger, gently and slowly. Then the palm. That’ll do it with many of them and, when done discreetly, you can get away with it in public.
My wife died a few years later, but I never went back to play on the wild side again. I could, though. Even today. Every once in a while I get an itch to play a few licks before a crowd again and wander over to a local watering hole and do four or five old tender love songs with the band. Yeah, the women are still there and still show that they are interested. But I just will not allow myself to get into that type of life again. I leave them for the younger guys on their mid-life flings.
In short, the reason a man enjoys pleasing a loving woman is simply because it is enjoyable and will be reciprocated. That’s the difference between making love and just having sex. No rollercoaster ride, please. Just tender, loving pleasure.
And yeah, as Jim indicated, as a man ages, less and less of the frivolous stuff turns him on. The desire for sex as a sport diminishes. The importance of a tender, loving relationship looms prominent. And the fact that it can “take all night long” suddenly becomes extremely enticing and we wonder why younger guys are in such a hurry -- and cant really remember why we sometimes were when we were younger.
Ah the good old days. Thinking about that stuff is almost enough to make a guy want to start dating again. . . . LOL  Almost.
If it wasn’t for the fact that so many women have been spoiled by those sorry feminist attitudes, maybe I would be more willing.
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 3/31/2006 2:21:49 AM | dbn ...
I have seen you in other threads and Im glad you stopped by. I'm also really sorry you lost your wife ... that's tragic. Thanks for your contribution to this topic ... we needed to hear from you on this. | |
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 3/31/2006 11:07:47 AM | | No way lipstick. We do have high libido's. But what you must understand is if there are more ways to please our partner, she will certainly find more ways to please us!! :o) | |
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 3/31/2006 12:30:03 PM | .
Well Cotter, actions have consequences. I’m sort of known in my little corner of the world and have a reputation for being kind and polite, as well as very approachable, for most anyone.
After class this morning, one of my students (a 30-something gal) informed me that she read what I wrote here last night. She said the girls were wondering “what was wrong” with me, being an eligible bachelor who never even dated. Now they know at least part of it.
Apparently some of my personal life is all over the university now, but there were quite a few big smiles and major hellos from the distaff set this morning. And, generally speaking, I would be totally against a student hugging and kissing a teacher, but she was fast about it and I wasn’t able to duck quick enough.
Even the Woman’s Studies professor (who has never been a friend of mine) stopped by my office, stood in the doorway for a long moment, then announced that, “I just wanted to say hello.”
What was that all about?? LOL
Small world I live in. I have to pay very close attention to what I say and do everywhere. Makes me wonder how many more people on here know me. . . .
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cojo4
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Joined: 1/10/2006
Msg: 65 | |
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 3/31/2006 7:42:16 PM | @dbn
If it wasn’t for the fact that so many women have been spoiled by those sorry feminist attitudes, maybe I would be more willing. I would just like to say that there are some of us who would still very much enjoy being treated as you described ... the only feminist attitude I place any value on is "equal pay for equal work". Even in my field (nursing), the male nurses are swooping in with no more training or experience than I ... and still getting more per hour.
She said the girls were wondering “what was wrong” with me, being an eligible bachelor who never even dated. Now they know at least part of it. You are smart and for sure more than able to determine if "dating" is right for you or not ... after what you had and then unfortunately lost.
I'm not sure that I would be going back to the "dating scene" if I had been so lucky to have what you had. That's hard to top. Finding something like that again (I'd wager) would quite rare. | |
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 3/31/2006 8:13:32 PM | I am so with cotter on this... I am a woman.. I'm a "tomboy" but still a woman, I like for a man to open doors for me, I do not EVER want to use the same public bathroom as men do. I love to be spoiled by a man, I like be treated like a lady and a woman. It is very confusing to men nowadays the way some women act like they are so PUT OUT by them being a gentleman and treating them like a lady. It really burns me up when they spout off, or say some rude comment to some nice man just for them trying to be what they were brought up to be. It has never bothered me when some man calls me sweetie... I was brought up the old southern way. So any of you men who would like to know if any of us REAL women still exist... we do!
Now, Jim.... hmm... no I better keep those thoughts to myself... | |
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 3/31/2006 9:22:13 PM | .
Well, perhaps I didn’t state all of that quite correctly. My wife died over thirty years ago. One good reason I did not date much was because I had full blown (full spinal involvement) spondylitis, so you can probably guess how that affected me. I went to work every day. That was enough. That lasted 35 years before it ran its course four years ago. So, when the pain went away, I sat myself down and designed a strict diet, physical therapy program and daily exercise program. That includes zero drinking or social life. I’m still at it, too.
I seldom tell people about the spondylitis anymore, but those with a little training would notice because I’m still having a problem getting the neck to free up properly. Everything else is about 70% or more free again, though.
I’m rather adept at taking care of myself because I was the research physiologist for cardiovascular surgery at our state’s largest teaching hospital for many years. And yeah, I worked around a few nurses from time to time, too. LOL Half of my work was clinical.
The two best friends of my wife are now widows, so I’ve become like their rent-a-spouse when they need someone to attend functions with them. So, it’s not like I don’t have any social life. We have a wide group of friends we grew up with, but most are married.
I will never be dating just to be dating. Sometimes, though, the gals I know try to fix me up with someone. Problem with that is all they know are other clinical psychologists and when those gals start playing their little psychobabble tricks with me I play back and drive them to needing their own treatment. So, I put the word out: Social workers and psychologists are verboten in my life. I already have two to contend with. That’s enough. ;-)
Anyway, I’m getting myself back into shape now and so will be widening my social activities a little this summer. No hurry, though.
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 3/31/2006 9:26:07 PM | | well dbn, it seems to me you are comfortable with yourself therefore the no dating is not a problem for you. That is great that you know yourself and who you are and what you want. People do not realize that once you get that accomplished you are a much better person for it. | |
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 3/31/2006 10:10:52 PM | .
It is very confusing to men nowadays the way some women act like they are so PUT OUT by them being a gentleman and treating them like a lady.
Yes, that is quite bothersome to many men. However, I can be a little more straightforward than many men. Also, I’m not small at all and have a deep voice that booms out there loud and clear, even sometimes when I don’t want it to. Oh, and remember the stern look of a teacher? Took me a while to learn that properly, but I’ve got it now. LOL
Really, I just openly tell them that this is how I am and I’m not changing. Then they get the look. . . .
Some of the younger girls at school used to look at me funny for holding doors and such. They quickly learned that I am no one to trifle with. Nowadays, I never hear any of that expressed around me. But, they hold door’s and stuff for me, too.
Last year the woman’s studies professor broke her foot and was using two crutches. A bunch of us guys were standing outside smoking when she came up on crutches and carrying a full book bag and a purse. So I just stood back and watched. She had to put her key-card in the reader and then grab the door quickly, never easy when you are carrying things.
Turns out, she couldn’t do it. So I nonchalantly walked over, inserted my card in the reader and then held the door open for her. She gave me her trademark glare and I started laughing. She couldn’t help herself and broke out laughing, too. She actually said, “Thank you. I guess I was in quite a pickle there, wasn’t I.”
And so some male students learned that day that it doesn’t hurt to be nice, even when you suspect the woman may not be.
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 4/1/2006 3:26:11 AM | I too have often wondered why modern women seem so upset when a man becomes a gentleman and practises those things taught in the age of chivalry. I've even met one lady (term loosely applied) who, when I held the door open for her, deliberately walked around me and opened the other door for herself!
Kudos to dbn for finally breaking the ice with the women's studies professor ^^ Lets hope she will continue to thaw at least a little!
Greydragon: no, it isn't wrong - I have done the same myself for a good many years, and have found that most of my companions were extremely receptive to the treatment - ow if we can just find some way to put that into a profile, we would certainly be rich men in terms of companionship!
Jim: you have hit the nail on the head! Women have long known that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, but it would appear that many of them have yet to learn that is isn't just steak and eggs, there are other things that appeal to the male palate just as much! "But only enough blood to operate one at a time!" - too true!!!!
Back to dbn again for what has to be the quote of the 45+ ... "no more sex, ever! Only making love.". I won't pass comment on that one, it says it all, succinctly! | |
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Duhguy
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Joined: 8/24/2005
Msg: 73 | |
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| Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 4/1/2006 4:33:59 PM | Dear Lipstick Sunsets;
Maybe some older men do feel their role in making love or having sex is to "please their partner." Maybe some older men can "live without sex?????"
Happily, older POF men are not among them. Given an opportunity, we intend to exersize our right to a high libido through it's full Monty and extent. Indeed, if you so desire, we will lord it over you with an iron fist..... | |
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